I broke the #1 rule of negotiation...UPDATE

[tw1nsmom]

Keep doing what you're doing, Dawn. You're an awesome Mom and you know better than anyone what he needs. Don't let anyone try and tell you different. to both of your beautiful kiddos.

MaryLiz

Here's hugs right back at you and your family. I'll be sure to pass on the hug to the children. They still remember meeting everyone and don't understand why we won't be having dinner with Mommy's walking friends every time we go to Disney.

 

[maryliz]

Here's hugs right back at you and your family. I'll be sure to pass on the hug to the children. They still remember meeting everyone and don't understand why we won't be having dinner with Mommy's walking friends every time we go to Disney.

OK, not trying to personally hijack your thread, but I gotta tell you ... the Saturday of the 1/2 Marathon recently, I was wearing my "I DID IT" shirt in honour of my WISH friends doing the races this year, I opened up the front closet and there was my beautiful WISH scarf that you made me ... and I started to cry ... "I miss my friends, I want to be with all of them today". DH thought I'd gone a little nuts and offered me a coffee spiked with Bailey's Irish cream to make me feel better!

OK ... hijack over ... back to the regularly scheduled post!

Miss you lots! And your plan for your next meeting sounds right on track! Keep up the great work!

Mary-Liz

 

[LadyTrampScamp&Angel]

Good luck. Don't worry about being emotional, this is your child, it's a good thing to be concerned and passionate about doing what is best.

 

[SandrainNC]

I have cried during an IEP meeting before too, so I know how you feel. It was so much easier before my son turned 3. IFSPs were a piece of cake compared to this.

Sandra

 

[missypie]

If you get emotional and weepy, so be it. If you rant and rave and yell, so be it. Just keep your eye on what your son needs. If you fear getting TOO emotional, make yourself a little list of what your son needs (you probably already do this) and of the main points you want to make. That way, you can get yourself back on track.

I really don't think the school folks are evil...it's just that every special service costs money. Their goal is to classify as few students as possible for sp. ed services, and to give those students as few services as possible. I personally think you'll do better if you're emotional than if you sit quietly.

My problem is that I tend to get very "witchy" at IEP meetings. (I think it embarrasses my DH.) I surprise myself at the meetings just like you surprise yourself. I am a lawyer and I negotiate on behalf of clients every day, sometimes for very high stakes, in stressful situations. But when it's my own kid.........

 

[Poohgirl]

I have a special ed son, I know how overwhelming it can be sometimes. Hugs and prayers. I hope everything turns out for the best. Take a deep breath, and maybe a bubble bath!

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

I want to thank you all for all the well wishes. I have my masters in elementary ed. as well, and I know they don't like dealing with parents who have a background in education. It just gets so frutrating at these meetings when one or two people become condescending and close their minds about what you're trying to say about your child's needs.

I will be taking DH to the meeting with me. He tends to lend silent support, but they are less likely to get snippy in front of him. I'm also writing out a statement that I'm going to read into the record. It will help me collect my thoughts and give me the opportunity to clearly let them know my position without being interupted or becoming emotional.QUOTE]

Oh boy, I could've written this post!! It's exactly how I feel too. DS's preschool teacher told me at the end of last year, she was really "scared" to have me as a parent b/c of my sped background. And it turned out, I wasn't her worst nightmare-my friend and former collegue was!!

They keep trying to label my son as autistic, even though we need a doctor to diagnose that-and that isn't what is the matter with him. I took him to (several) specialists before I finally got a decent diagnosis and the school is unwilling to accept it. So I'm unwilling to accept there "diagnosis" of which they have no expertise to make. I just bang my head against the wall. I took DH to my meeting too for the same reason you are going to. Silent support. It's a little more intimidating when he is there even though he barely says anything and really doesn't understand the system. I could go on forever about the issues and unprofessionalism I've encountered...

Writing out a statement is a GREAT idea!! I might borrow that idea for my son's next meeting this spring!! Good luck!!

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

I have my masters in elementary ed. as well, and I know they don't like dealing with parents who have a background in education.

At my first IEP meeting for my DS, I signed the IEP on the teacher's signature line. It was so strange for me to sit on the other side of the table! I am thankful for my education background because knowledge is power.

Lori

 

[jodifla]

I want to thank you all for all the well wishes. I have my masters in elementary ed. as well, and I know they don't like dealing with parents who have a background in education. It just gets so frutrating at these meetings when one or two people become condescending and close their minds about what you're trying to say about your child's needs.

I will be taking DH to the meeting with me. He tends to lend silent support, but they are less likely to get snippy in front of him. I'm also writing out a statement that I'm going to read into the record. It will help me collect my thoughts and give me the opportunity to clearly let them know my position without being interupted or becoming emotional.QUOTE]

Oh boy, I could've written this post!! It's exactly how I feel too. DS's preschool teacher told me at the end of last year, she was really "scared" to have me as a parent b/c of my sped background. And it turned out, I wasn't her worst nightmare-my friend and former collegue was!!

They keep trying to label my son as autistic, even though we need a doctor to diagnose that-and that isn't what is the matter with him. I took him to (several) specialists before I finally got a decent diagnosis and the school is unwilling to accept it. So I'm unwilling to accept there "diagnosis" of which they have no expertise to make. I just bang my head against the wall. I took DH to my meeting too for the same reason you are going to. Silent support. It's a little more intimidating when he is there even though he barely says anything and really doesn't understand the system. I could go on forever about the issues and unprofessionalism I've encountered...

Writing out a statement is a GREAT idea!! I might borrow that idea for my son's next meeting this spring!! Good luck!!

I have a feeling that i'm going to be heading down this road too. DS is a late talker, but the school system up here seems to want to label him as something more, even though peds and our first speech therapist in Florida told us he was just a late talker.

In fact, I just found out there's a meeting Monday to talk about the school psychologist meeting with him. I initially OK'd this a few months ago, but am having serious second thoughts about it. My DS takes awhile to warm up to people, and I'm not sure I want someone making snap judgments on my 4 year old.

If anyone has any input on this, I'd love to hear it.

And all my best to the OP and her DS! It's tought to go through, teacher or not....although I'd love to have your expertise on the subject.

 

[tw1nsmom]

I have a feeling that i'm going to be heading down this road too. DS is a late talker, but the school system up here seems to want to label him as something more, even though peds and our first speech therapist in Florida told us he was just a late talker.

In fact, I just found out there's a meeting Monday to talk about the school psychologist meeting with him. I initially OK'd this a few months ago, but am having serious second thoughts about it. My DS takes awhile to warm up to people, and I'm not sure I want someone making snap judgments on my 4 year old.

If anyone has any input on this, I'd love to hear it.

And all my best to the OP and her DS! It's tought to go through, teacher or not....although I'd love to have your expertise on the subject.

I'm assuming that your child is preschool age. They can't force you to give permission for an evaluation. You can take back your permission for any parts or all of an evaluation (do it in writing). At the school age level they could technically take you to court to force an evaluation, but it rarely happens.

Having said that, is there a way you could get a private evaluation with a psychologist or developmental pediatrician paid for by your insurance? You would be able to rule out any other problems, and it would be up to you whether or not you would share the report with the school/county. I'm sure you have a great pediatrician and speech therapist, but some pediatricians and therapists have been known to miss a problem.

Either way, the school psychologist, in my opinion, wouldn't be qualified to make a diagnosis. In most districts, they aren't allowed to.

 

[luvwinnie]

Forgive me for being so ignorant, but what is IEP? I really don't know & am just curious.

I didn't know either.

Hugs to the OP!

 

[tw1nsmom]

We had the Committee on Special Education Mtg. today to plan DS's IEP. It went very well. I didn't even cry . I caught them in a little bit of a lie. They tried telling me that there was a limit to the number of minutes a student could receive consultant teacher services. They wanted to put DS in a pull-out resource room class (our school district is not known for it's integration, they prefer to pull students and have even been known to pay tuition for special needs children to attend another district).

Well, today they found out I've been trained to be a special education advocate (I don't cry when I'm helping other people). I was able to get push-in only resource teacher 5 times a week, shared aide who will be with him in the classroom as well as in the cafeteria, gym, art, and recess, teacher in-service training on Nonverbal Learning Disability, Parent training-we'll be invited to participate in any in-service that pertains in any way to DS's disability, 2x30 speech, 2x30 OT, 2X30 PT, social skills training 2x30, extra time on tests and questions read to him and answers given orally as needed, breaks during tests, breaks during the school day as needed when anxious or unfocused, and many other accomodations and modifications.

DH was also there and he recorded the meeting (he informed them first). I think his presence, the recording, and my five inch binder with all the state special education regulations helped to keep the sarcasm at bay. I refused to let them move on until each point was covered. Hopefully they don't try to mislead me, or underestimate my abilities again.

Now I just have to write the transcription of the recording, and hope that they actually put everything we agreed upon in the finished IEP. If they don't we'll have another cse meeting in our future.

I want to thank everyone for their support. It helped immensely.

BTW, DS had his head MRI tuesday and he did very well. He's such a sweet , polite boy and so eager to please. He didn't even cry when they put the IV in. Of course I cried when the sedation started taking effect and his eyes rolled back and he started twitching. It also wasn't a thrill to see his head imobilized in a plastic cage and his little body put into the MRI machine. I think I was more traumatized than him. I don't have the results yet.

 

[PrincessKitty1]

Thanks for the update and HOORAY for you (and your DH and your son!)

 

[gemmie214]

I have such respect for parents who have to go through this with their children. It is like learning a whole new language and trying to communicate with people who speak it fluently and with slang added to boot! (IEP, Pt, Ot, SL.....)

My heart goes out to the OP and others on this thread.

The OP is a great example though...the more you know the better services you can recieve.