I am surrounded by idiots! (major vent)

[MushyMushy]

Are there no sane parents in my town???

We've been giving DS more freedom this summer as he's been slowly regaining our trust. He's been wanting to spend the night with a friend, and I finally said he could as long as I could speak to the parent in person. No problem, I went over to meet the mother, and it seemed as if we were on the same page as far as parenting goes. We had a nice long talk, and she seemed pretty well educated, and she's a social worker for a local agency. She assured me that she keeps a tight leash on her son, and we agreed on a curfew for when my DS spends the night. I spoke to her on the phone last night, and all was well.

DH got into DS's chat logs this afternoon and we came to find out that the boys were out all night drinking and driving around the countryside.



I did a little more poking around, and found some other confirmation on a few other kids' Myspace pages. I'm printing everything I find, and we're going over to this "mother's" house to see what she has to say for herself.

This is all un-freaking-believable.

I swear to you all, this kid is going to give me a nervous breakdown. I'm barely holding it together right now. And keep in mind that tomorrow is my first day of student teaching. I'm supposed to be working on lesson plans and reading today.

I know you all are probably so sick of hearing about this crap with my son. I'm sorry, I just needed to talk to someone aside from my DH.

 

[Blondy876]

Oh, boy. What was that mother thinking? What were the boys thinking? Good luck handling this.

On another note, good luck tomorrow. That first day is always scary for me too and I have been teaching for almost 10 years. You'll do great!

 

[California Girl]

given the your and his history which you have detailed here on the dis,
why would you expect any different?
he would only want to spend time with someone who would do these things, correct.
his friends have in the past, had parents who would cover for them; why would this be any different?
who are the idiots here?

 

[Alicnwondrln]

im sorry thats to bad that you cant trust him
and its to bad but i bet the other mother will be just as surprised

 

[summerrluvv]

Maybe they snuck out and the mother didn't know about it? I mean...I wouldn't blame the mother entirely. She has to get sleep too, so I wouldn't have expected her to stay up all night to monitor the kids. She probably has no idea what her son does after hours. Teens can be veryyyy sneaky.

 

[charabby]

I'd address this with my son, not the other parent. Only he is responsible to you. Now, you know you can't trust her, but the fact is that you need to hold your son accountable rather than her. In fact, imo, confronting her takes the blame off of him, which is where it belongs from your perspective.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Well I guess your son learned nothing from his last punishment. Now you really have to come down on him. The other mom lied, but you son could have not gone out an drank again. It maybe time to seek our professional help with your son.

 

[Uncle Remus]

 

[Race the Reaper]

Hey Uncle Remus! Long time, no see! Mind if I have a seat and watch this show with ya?

I'll treat us to a slushie at the Sonic afterwards!

 

[MushyMushy]

Oh please, put the popcorn away. If someone wants to call me an idiot, that's their perogative. They're more than welcome to come try to do better than I am with this kid, though.

Regarding the comments about the other parent, I know it sounded as if I'm going over there for a little "smackdown," but I'm just angry as I'm typing this. We're merely going over to make her aware. If she's already aware, then she'll soon find out that we're on top of things.

 

[MushyMushy]

Oh, boy. What was that mother thinking? What were the boys thinking? Good luck handling this.

On another note, good luck tomorrow. That first day is always scary for me too and I have been teaching for almost 10 years. You'll do great!

Thanks! I was actually starting to relax today and feel better about it until this happened. I'm in the middle of reading Beowulf, hoping beyond all hope that I'm not called upon to teach any of it.

 

[Race the Reaper]

Sorry, MushyMushy. Didn't mean to hijack your post. I disagree with some of the others. I wouldn't confront the mother. I would take my proof to her and ask if she knows about it. Maybe they snuck out and she doesn't know about it. Don't be confrontational with her. Just be civil.
As for the son, sounds like he needs a stint at a military academy.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Oh Marseeya, I'm so sorry you are having such a time right now. I guess your son is now back to the negative range with you as far as trust goes, huh??

 

[MushyMushy]

Sorry, MushyMushy. Didn't mean to hijack your post. I disagree with some of the others. I wouldn't confront the mother. I would take my proof to her and ask if she knows about it. Maybe they snuck out and she doesn't know about it. Don't be confrontational with her. Just be civil.
As for the son, sounds like he needs a stint at a military academy.

That's okay, you and I posted at the same time -- I was responding to Uncle Remus' popcorn.

What's worse is that he'd been on great behavior all summer. He's been somewhat pleasant, honoring his curfews, and helping around the house. We had a little bit of a worry a couple of weeks ago about a party at his GF's house, but he didn't even try to go and then the kids got rained out anyway.

 

[Race the Reaper]

How old is your son?

 

[Alex2kMommy]

Wow, you have your hands full. (I don't know all the history with your DS, this is the first one I've read.) Some kids just have to learn things the hard way, and he sounds like one of those kids. It doesn't mean in the end he won't turn out all right, though. Hang in there.

I'm glad you're going to discuss this with the other mother. Could be all the shenanigans occurred after she went to bed, and I can't fault her for that. But I still think you should inform her; hopefully she was not aware, and will be just as irate as you and take action with her son as well.

 

[tinkerrn]

Have you tried to seek out help for oppositional defiant behavior? We get a lot of kids doing the same thing as yours. A little 'vavaction' on an inpatient psych unit might help him rethink his past behaviors. I feel sorry for you and totally understand how draining this might be.

 

[EthansMom]

 

[WatchinCaptKangaroo]

Have you tried to seek out help for oppositional defiant behavior? We get a lot of kids doing the same thing as yours. A little 'vavaction' on an inpatient psych unit might help him rethink his past behaviors. I feel sorry for you and totally understand how draining this might be.

Psych units are not supposed to be punishment where people "rethink past behaviors". They are places to get treatment when all other options have been exhausted.

 

[L107ANGEL]

given the your and his history which you have detailed here on the dis,
why would you expect any different?
he would only want to spend time with someone who would do these things, correct.
his friends have in the past, had parents who would cover for them; why would this be any different?
who are the idiots here?

Wow!! Bad day?? To the OP good luck on your first day tomorrow and with your son.