I am stunned!

[MidgeD79]

My dd (26) died this past April leaving behind 2 kids (not her husbands). She and her husband had signed divorce papers but they hadn't been filed. She had a life insurance policy but hadn't changed the beneficiary because she hadn't expected to die (brain aneuyism). I just found out that he received the money ($75,000) and has paid credit card bills and invested some and put the rest in his personal saving account. My parents and I paid for the cemetary lot and gravemarker thinking we would get "reimbursed" when the insurance paid out. I feel a little awkward asking him about it without appearing greedy. money is tight right now because I have attorney fees trying to get visitation of my dgd (10) who is living with her "dad" who never had any type of custody or visitation due to his heroin addiction. I have the 3 year-old. I guess I really don't expect any solutions here, but it is nice to vent.

 

[hentob]

What an awful story.

Vent away. We are here for you.

 

[S. C.]

I'll keep your family in my prayers.

 

[sweet angel]

How awful -- unfortunately, I don't think there's anything you can legally do about the money. I don't think he's legally obligated to give you anything.

I guess maybe we should all take a look at our situations and make sure that all loose ends are tied up. Maybe your situation will make some people sit up and take notice.

I'm sorry for everything you're dealing with.

 

[Pooh Girl 71]

I am so sorry. Vent away.

 

[Cantw8]

I'm so sorry for both your loss and what you're going through

 

[Saffron]

Awww, I'm so sorry. That's so tragic.

I don't think asking for money for those things would appear greedy, I'm sure that's one of the reasons your daughter had the policy. I do understand your feelings though. Maybe he thought there was more than one policy? I don't know, but if you have any sort of friendly relationship with him, maybe you should just tell him, and tell him your feelings. It wouldn't be easy, I know I wouldn't find it an easy conversation, but you never know. Vent away.

 

[DawnCt1]

My dd (26) died this past April leaving behind 2 kids (not her husbands). She and her husband had signed divorce papers but they hadn't been filed. She had a life insurance policy but hadn't changed the beneficiary because she hadn't expected to die (brain aneuyism). I just found out that he received the money ($75,000) and has paid credit card bills and invested some and put the rest in his personal saving account. My parents and I paid for the cemetary lot and gravemarker thinking we would get "reimbursed" when the insurance paid out. I feel a little awkward asking him about it without appearing greedy. money is tight right now because I have attorney fees trying to get visitation of my dgd (10) who is living with her "dad" who never had any type of custody or visitation due to his heroin addiction. I have the 3 year-old. I guess I really don't expect any solutions here, but it is nice to vent.

How awful for you and the children. He is very selfish. He knows the circumstances and he should come forward. He won't so you need to ask him and not feel guilty, greedy or anything else. I am not optimistic that it will make a difference however.

 

[sweetspicy]

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I agree with some of the others who said you should tell him and not feel greedy or anything. And you know you can vent here anytime.

 

[SillyMe]

You are not being greedy. He is. He knows you paid for the services and he knows that she has two children. Any decent person would have given that money to the children and paid for her services. That makes me angry.

 

[sweet angel]

You know, in reading the responses after mine, I hope I didn't come off as callous or cold. That wasn't my intention. I don't think you would be greedy at all if you asked him for the money. Morally, he should reimburse you and do the right thing. Legally, he probably doesn't have to.

 

[icebrat001]

 

[Honu]

I'm so sorry.

 

[scrump]

I am so sorry for your loss. This pretty much happened to my grandmother, when her son (my uncle) passed away unexpectedly (brain aneurism). The woman he was divorcing at the time was still the beneficiary to pretty much the entire estate, and because the divorce was not finalized and because his will was not changed before his sudden death, she walked away with everything.

He should come forward, probably won't. Inquiring about the money is not greedy, I hope you receive some comfort and financial relief during this time of loss. I am truly sorry.

 

[tinatark]

That is sad...I'm very sorry for your loss. We lost a friends mom to an aneurysm in July - it was very sudden and totally unexpected.

Unfortunately, even though he was legally responsible for the funeral expenses, if you paid them your only recourse may be to file a claim through her estate. Funeral expenses are paid first. If they owned property together he may reimburse you rather than having a claim against his property.

 

[WebmasterAlex]

Does he "KNOW" the circumstances? I don't see where the OP said that.
Could you sit down and explain to him that you need the money you spent on the funeral to help your dgd?
I know they were getting divorced but HE wasn't the heroin addct, maybe if he understood he would be willing to step up

 

[Ginamarie]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's always hard to lose a family member, but so much worse when it's a young person like your daughter.

Actually (at least in NY), any funeral expenses are usually the responsibility of the estate of the person who has passed. I don't know if your DD had any other assets (bank accounts, real estate, etc) If so, your Ex-SIL would have to use those to pay you back for the funeral expenses.

 

[sweet angel]

Who is the executor of the Will? That would be the person responsible for paying the funeral, etc. expenses.

 

[PaulaSue]

ugh, so unfair

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

wow! i'm sorry for your loss