I am so angry - need your opinions !!!

[BRobson]

Lewis who is 7 and like most boys gets in scraps at school but he is a good lad really !!!!!!!

He came home tonight with scratches all round his neck

It looks a lot worse in real life !!!!!!

Anyway - His teacher approched me after school to tell me that a boy in his class had pinned him to the ground and tried to strangle him!!!!! Lewis had grabbed a stick from the ground and hit him to get him off ( it was on the leg). The teacher told me that they are both being punished as Lewis should not have hit back .

Problem is I work at the school and had heard through the grapevine that Lewis had been hurt by this boy at lunchtime but I try to stay out of my kids way as I dont want to be seen as taking sides. This boy is a known troublemaker and is in trouble everyday for something.

I saw the teacher talking to the boys mother and although I didnt hear what she said the mother stood and laughed and joked and then walked right by me - I really had to bite my toungue at this point.

I think it is unfair that Lewis is being punished for sticking up for himself - or am I just blinkered because it is my son


 

[scottishgirl87]

Hmmm....I'm not an expert by any means, and I don't have kids, but I would argue that it was self-defence. I mean, what else could you really do if someone is trying to strangle you?! I think anyone would have done the same. Did the school expect him to just lie there and take it, which could have resulted in him becoming unconscious.

I would argue that trying to strangle another kid is alot more serious than just usual boy's scraps!!

 

[natalielongstaff]

omg !!!! no way should Lewis be punished, poor lad he must have been terrified. i would go back in tomorrow and ask for his punishment to be dropped and explain that whilst you understand he should not retaliate he was clearly frightened and acted accordingly

 

[BRobson]

His teacher said - although Lewis came off worst, she cant having him pick up a stick and hit anyone

 

[Beth__WDW23/6/02]

His teacher said - although Lewis came off worst, she cant having him pick up a stick and hit anyone

Never heard such thing as ridiculous,what happened if he didnt fight back? I dread to think..You son could of come off much worse.
I would argue the situation personally,any child will hit back or even an adult if they are being attacked in such manner.
Imagine being pinned down and strangled,that isnt Child like behaviour I'd question the "life at home and behaviour" of the little boy who did this,something is obviously not right.

It looks very sore Bless him,I am glad he is ok.
But I don't agree with the schools policies whatsoever.

 

[darthtatty]

I think thats disgusting, doesnt sound like the teacher is taking the situation seriously.
I would possibly keep my son off school and make an appointment to see the headteacher. It sounds like it was an assault and your son was only defending himself. you could report the incident to the police,it may be worth doing anyway. Im sure they would take the matter seriously esp with recent events. I would question where the lunchtime supervising staff were.
Also there no way you should ask if your son's punishment could be dropped, i would demand it be dropped immediately.
whatever happens good luck

 

[Dimplenose]

I'm just being Devil's advocate here - but what caused the boy to attack your son like that?

 

[BRobson]

I think thats disgusting, doesnt sound like the teacher is taking the situation seriously.
I would keep my son off school and make an appointment to see the headteacher. It sounds like it was an assault and your son was only defending himself. you could report the incident to the police,it may be worth doing anyway. Im sure they would take the matter seriously esp with recent events. I would question where the lunchtime supervising staff were.
Also there no way you should ask if your son's punishment could be dropped, i would demand it be dropped immediately.
whatever happens good luck

I am part of the lunchtime supervising staff although I dont work in his playground!!! Unfortunatley we dont have enough eyes in our head to see what goes on all the time. She came round the corner to Lewis crying, the bell went so it was left in the hands of the teacher

I am an absolute wimp when it comes to things like this - I think I feel worse because it is a collegue I am disageeing with and my boss I would have to complain to !!!!! My kids come first though

 

[BRobson]

I'm just being Devil's advocate here - but what caused the boy to attack your son like that?

Lewis didnt want to play with him, the boy swore at him and Lewis said he was going to tell on him!

 

[scottishgirl87]

Whoever mentioned the police I was thinking the same. Surely if this was a reported incident (and I mean even if it was adult's involved) attempted strangulation would be taken as a serious assault

 

[Dimplenose]

I work lunchtimes too and I know it's best to leave incidents that involve your own children to other members of staff but in this case you need to talk to the head teacher.

 

[UKDEB]

Jackie, given your employment status at the school, you've been put in a very difficult position, but I do think you need to have a conversation with the Head Teacher about what appears to be an overly-zealous interpretation of school policy by an individual teacher. There's a clear distinction between fighting and self-defence. What's the school's stance, for example, were an adult to pin your son to the ground? Do they still advocate non-retaliation? It's human nature, not to mention good sense, to defend ourselves against attack and I don't think any school should have the right to teach otherwise.

 

[mandymouse]

I would be absolutely furious and upset too Jackie

His teacher said - although Lewis came off worst, she cant having him pick up a stick and hit anyone

I can't believe his teacher said this, is he supposed to just lie there and allow another child to strangle him ? Personally I would go and speak to the head teacher in the morning, as it's not fair that your son should be punished due to this troublemaker

 

[darthtatty]

oh thats a hard one when you work in the same school.
My son's LSA had problems when her son was bullied and i think the only way she could get the matter dealt with was by letting her partner be in charge of the situation.
Are you any good at writing letters? I am rubbish face to face with people and complaining- always leave my husband to do that. Though at times i do write letters as i find it easier to explain the situation esp if its to people you work with.
Good luck, i know its hard but just imagine if the situation happens again.
If your son is punished for defending himself, then next time he may think before he does and may not get away with just a few scratches.

sending you lots of hugs as ive had loads of problems with my sons school and i know just how frustrating it is.
Hope he's ok?

 

[cherjp]

I agree with Deb, and if you have a community police officer associated with your sons school it might be worthwhile talking to them too. We had a similar situation with my son in primary 6 who was in being bullied and although I have nothing to do with the school wild horses wouldnt keep me from dealing with the headteacher about it. Take your husband for support and make sure you read the school policy on bullying on the council website for backup, although ours isnt worth the ink from my printer!!!

Take care and be strong .

 

[saratogagirl]

oh Jackie that looks sore, I agree with most others you need to take this further, I understand it will be difficult for you though with working there, hope he is ok now, poor thing

 

[wideeyes]

That is awful, your poor son, I agree thay your son shouldn't be punished, the other boys behaviour seems beyond playground shuffling and it should be treated seriously.

 

[joolz1910]

It sounds like the teacher has dealt with it by making a snap decision, rather than investigating fully. I agree with others who mention getting your partner involved, I would also make an appointment with the Head asap, explaining that you wish to discuss your concerns. I would take the photos of your son's injury and reiterate what others have said about your son defending himself.

The school has a duty of care towards your son and he needs to be protected from harm while at school. I would point out that his injuries were inflicted by another child and that you would like that child to be kept away from your son - you have the right to request that. It might be advisable to write a statement with your son, so that you have that to hand when talking it through with the Head.

I would be furious too. Sending you

 

[thelittlemermaid83]

I'm shocked that acting in self defense has ended up with your ds getting punished. Hope you manage to get to the bottom of this with the head

 

[BRobson]

Unfortunately DH is away on business at the moment so will have to deal with this myself

Thanks for all your thoughts on this