I Am REALLY MAD at a friend!!!!

[becka]

I am so mad right now and I just need to get it out a little and I hope you nice people do not mind.

A friend of mine called me last Friday night and wanted to know if her, her husband and her almost 1 y/o son could eat dinner with us and stay the night at our house tonight. She and her son were going to spend the weekend with her parents (about 4 hours from here) while her husband finished up some work in Kansas City. They were planning on meeting here in Columbia and staying the night before they headed out to see his parents in St. Louis tomorrow.

I didn't really have any plans for today or tonight so I said that was fine although my DH did had plans for all afternoon/evening. She was planning on leaving her parents after church today and heading up this way but she told me she would call me on Saturday night or early this morning to confirm everything. Well I didn't hear anything last night or this morning. I tried to call her cell phone this morning but it was not working. I tried to call her husband's cell phone and the number had been disconnected. There was also no one answering the phone at their house in KC.

Well I spend the morning cleaning the house and getting everything ready. I plan for a nice meal and I even skimp on my meals earlier in the day because I am on Weight Watchers and I wanted to be able to enjoy a full meal this evening. Well I get a call just a few minutes ago from her husband. He is almost here in Columbia but he just talked with my friend and she is still at her parents!!!! I was really getting worried because there has been severe weather and I didn't know what was going on. Her husband is just going to get a hotel in Columbia tonight and my friend will meet him at the hotel sometime tonight. I won't even be seeing them at all which at this point is probably for the best!

I don't know how much of this makes sense because I am really frustrated. Now I don't have a clue what I am going to do tonight. I don't know if I should go ahead and make this big dinner just for me (probably not smart since I am feeling pretty crummy) or what I should do.

 

[amid chaos]

That is a bummer, but you just enjoy that special dinner, ...we all deserve special.

 

[ripleysmom]

I definitely can feel your frustration. I hate when people make plans with you and then do not call you to change it.

It was very inconsiderate of her.

 

[nativetxn]

Just because you consider these people your friends doesn't mean they are considerate or even well mannered, does it?

You might want to suggest to her that the next time she asks if she can spend the night and decides not to show up that she owes you a phone call either the night before or the morning of the planned visit. You deserve to be able to make plans too. If you are really friends she will understand this and not have a problem with it. If she is just using you....then you aren't really friends after all, are you? Better to know now, don't you think?

Your time is just as valuable as her time. She needs to know this. The fact that she had her husband call you, instead of calling herself, leads me to believe that she knows she was completely out of line with this and didn't want to have to hear it, you know what I mean?

{{{HUGS}}} sweetie. You saved up your points, enjoy a wonderful dinner, you've earned it.

 

[vald1977]

I would be fuming if I were you! How inconsiderate and to not even have the decency to call you herself? Sorry your plans got ruined. Is there someone else you could invite over to enjoy your special dinner?

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

I agree that you should invite a close friend or friends over to share the dinner.... if that is not an option then just take the night off to watch movies, etc. with that adorable son of yours!!

 

[Mishetta]

Hi Becka,

First I'd like to say how adorable your baby is!

I think your friend was very inconsiderate but I've had similar situations like that happen to me & I've let them know that they ruined my day/weekend. (Next time, just say "NO!")

Enjoy your special dinner & serve it on your fine china! YOU deserve to treat yourself. I know you work hard having that little one to care for!

Sorry that happened to you.

Mishetta

 

[TigH]

Sending you LOTS of hugs!

I hope you feel better now. That was very inconsiderate of your friend. I think you know what I'd say about having that big meal! You know there are lots of people on that "other" DIS board that are all cheering you on with your WW success. Hang in there!

Hopefully your friend doesn't behave like this with you all the time. I know if I were in your situation I'd be pretty upset too. Getting the house ready for company is something I put alot of heart and soul into!

I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. It was plain RUDE of her not to call. I am not a confrontational person, so I don't know how I'd approach this whole subject if it were my friend.

I'm sure none of what I said has helped you in any way. Well, just accept the HUGS.

 

[jamsmom]

I wish I had some magic words to make it all better. But, I don't think I do. {{{HUGS}}}

I do hope you enjoy a pleasant dinner, though!!

 

[browneyes]

It sounds like your friend is kin to my best friend. She does this to me alot. Luckily we don't live all that far apart, but we make plans and when she doesn't show up, I get really worried (she's taking care of her disabled elderly mom, her ds has a tendency to go in the hospital from time to time, etc.). When I call her frantic-she's usually just waking up and says "I was going to call you, but I didn't." It's a good thing she's such a good friend or she wouldn't do that to me more than once.

{{hugs}}, Becka.

 

[becka]

Well I am feeling a little better this morning and I am glad that you guys don't think I am overreacting.

After I put Nathan down to bed about the normal time (I never thought about how daylight savings time would effect his sleep) I went ahead and made at least part of the dinner I had planned. I made a Mexican chicken casserole that I really love. I ate more than I probably should have but it wasn't too bad because I had only eaten 3 points all day long up until that point. I then put a movie in the DVD player and just spent the evening doing nothing else. I didn't even do all of the dishes - I just rinsed them out and placed everything in the sink!

DH came home around 10:30 and he knew how I was not feeling the best so he even gave me a little back rub while I went to sleep.

I don't know when I will talk to my friend again but she will probably call me sometime in the next week. She is always the type of person that is late and you just know to expect that but she has never not called for something like this. Well I won't worry about that now. I have lots to do today so I had better get started.

 

[sharbear]

I've had this happen, except that the people who didn't show up were family and not friends. After many years I have accepted that they are just this way and I don't invite them to my house anymore. If I want to see them I go to their house, makes me happier and I don't stress out.

 

[christinou]

I am so sorry, that your friend could not be bothered to call and let you know she could not make it. At least I am glad that you did make your nice dinner and enjoyed it.
I have a friend who is like that and never come through, I finally stopped seing her much or making plans with her. She has a daughter the same age as mine, a couple of years ago, when my daugher was 6, she called to arrange a play date for the kids, and said that she had to run an errand and would be there in half and hour to pick her up, well my little girl was all ready waiting at the door, she waited 2 hours, the "friend" never showed up and finally called to say she was running late, and could not make it. I was livid, I made her come over to my house, and apologize to my kid......
Sorry this is so long, I am still mad thinking about it, you can hurt me, and don't you dare do anything to my kids...