I am here to gripe

[vcunning]

Another point of view . . .

I wished I had the opportunity to again enjoy going to Disney with both of my parents. At times, they drove us nuts, but we had some fabulous memories together. My wife and I still cherish those memories. I wish my kids were old enough to remember.

Just my perspective.

 

[sk!mom]

We are planning a trip next year with my cousin's family - there will be 12 of us including 6 kids ranging from 2-9. Our family has made multiple trips but this will be their first time.

We ended up booking POR because of their family size - no problem, I've always wanted to try it. I actually prefer POP though because the kids love it - they love the theming. And it costs less - but they .

We did talk them into the dining plan. They do agree that they like a sit-down dinner each day - but they want to eat by 5-6 each day and then they want to go back to the resort early so their kids (9,5,4,2) can get to bed at normal time. So no Wishes, Spectromagic, Illuminations or Fantasmic.

We usually do 2-3 characters breakfasts. They said they can't get up and going early in the morning and are not planning to get to the parks until after 10:00 each day. What!!! So no rope drops or EMH for us either.

And it will be too cold to swim in late November/early December.

I suggested we could go on, do our thing and meet up with them later after they're up and at the parks. Then we could stay and do the evening activities after they've retired for the evening. But dd24 said it's a family trip - we should do things as a family. We had a hard time convincing the father that Disney was worth the money - and I'm afraid he's going to come home feeling that he didn't get his money's worth because he's going to miss alot.

From my experience, it will be a mistake to alter your vacation so much to accomodate them. It can be a great "family vacation" without spending every moment together.

On our trip in June, we had 4 families and 2 grandmas so 21 people with an age range of 2 to 65. We would have had a miserable time if we had let the two kids (7 and 8 and they needed a stroller) who had very little stamina dictate the trip for the rest of us. In 10 days, I watched Wishes twice, Spectro once, and Fastasmic. Some of our group never saw any of those and the second viewing of Wishes was just me and my 65 year old mom as everyone else wanted to do something else. DD12 and her teen cousins wanted to go back to DQ so DH offered to go and be the adult chaperone. The 3 families who had younger children all decided that the kiddies needed an early night and the parents needed a restful wine on the balcony evening. My mom and I had a great time- just the two of us in MK- we used all the fast passes from earlier to ride a couple of faves multiple times and I was a good sport and went with her to COP- something she remembered fondly from our childhood trips.

One family had issues with the daily Rope Drop starts but they saw right away that it got hot quick and staying ahead of the crowd allowed us to see all of our must sees by 1:00 or 2:00 each day and then we could go back and swim, nap, cool off, and have a relaxing rest of the day depending on what we each wanted to do.

No one got upset the whole trip because we had decided in advance that we wouldn't.

 

[idieh]

We returned from our once a year trip on 10/10/08. This year we invited my MIL with us and never again will I do that. Although she has been to WDW before this was the 1st time without darling FIL. He passed away Nov 6, 2007 and was greatly missed. It is now apparent that he was the fun half of the marriage. I love my MIL greatly but she does not get the magic and it showed. She couldn't be bothered visiting the characters because we should know better that it is just people dressed up. I don't care I want to see Mickey each and every time. She never smiled and always seemed to be pissed off so therefore my DH had to keep her happy...hello this is my vacation too. I felt so bad for DH that I rushed him a Dole Whip from MK to Epcot...boy did I get funny looks at the monorail and security when I told them to hurry and check my bags before Doley melted Yes, DS and I named it. You ask, Why did I have to rush it to him? Well that is because MIL woudln't come to MK ont he last day with us to pick up some last minute items because we said in the morning we were going to EPCOT and she didn't want to hop...ugh. Now that we are home she tells everyone what a great time she had - why couldn't she express that on vacation and make it a happier time. My mother comes with us every other year and is welcome forever - she is great. Doesn't care what we do just as long as we are at WDW she is happy. Thank you for letting me vent - didn't know I was even going to.

 

[BarbWB]

We have gone twice with a group of 18 -- grandparents, two families with 8 kids between us, single aunts, and married couple. We had a blast both times. We had ADRs together and separate. We planned days at the same parks, but we split up sometimes.

I think whether it works depends on personalities and expectations. No one expected us to do everything together, but we all expected that we were not going to do everything exactly as we would have done it if we hadn't been traveling together. I ate at some places that definitely weren't my favorite and missed a few things that I thought would have been fun, but I also dragged people out of bed at the crack of dawn for EMH and that certainly wasn't their idea of a good time. But, we all had the same expectations and the compromises worked for us.

If everyone has the same expectations going in, then a trip with lots of people can work. If different people have different expectations (especially if someone else is paying the bills!), then it is a recipe for disaster!

 

[ToddyLu]

Wow--how aweful to have your dreams for a great trip dashed. We are taking my parents this year and have it all planned out. DF has a copy of the itinerary already. DM has told me that she "wants to do it all". They both want us to show them the ropes and do it all. This is the only time they have been to WDW on an adult only trip. My brother and his wife have 5, ages 15 to 3 months. This was a great year to invite them as the 3 month old is still breast feeding and my brother and his wife didn't invite themselves. My MIL and BIL usually go with us and when I said I wanted my parents to come along, she decided that she would partipate in the christmas program at church--giving me the time I needed with my parents. DH and I do not have children and we go every year. So we are not commando anymore--however I think my parents want a little of that. Yipee!

I posted on another thread that my parents have always had a strict budget so I began planting the seed for this trip late last year and here we are. A month away! Finally talked my DF into flying. DH and I will pay for airport parking and transportation to Disney (DH and I love this as it is the beginning of the vacation). We would have incurred these costs anyway. We are using double TS points with DP for Ca Grill and Brown Derby. Gave them MVMCP tickets for their 43rd anniversary . These were just some of the things DH and I needed to do so my DF wouldn't be so concerned about cost and my DM could relax--she really was pleased when I explained this to her out of earshot from Dad.

I know families are difficult sometimes and I always remember our final trip with FIL in 2004. He had Cancer and we did a gathering just for him. He was so concerned about not getting to go to Disney--We told we would each take turns carrying him on our backs if needed--we rented a scooter and the rest was history--and a fantastic memory!! We all still get triggers about him when we go--which makes it extra special. I have been cleaning house today and just dusted the pick of the four of us me, DH, MIL and FIL (on his scooter) in front of the Epcot fountain.

So sorry for the long post! Take care everyone and enjoy the weekend.

 

[crisi]

We've done this a few times - usually with smaller groups - but this last trip there were ten of us. I agree with sk!mom - the worst trips have been the ones where we can't shake our guests and feel obligated to change plans around them - the best trips where we make a few joint plans and the rest "meet up."

I also can't imagine these "both sides" trips - I love my parents - and I love my in-laws - and both sides get along fine for short period of time. But for a week expecting my mother to put up with my mother in law - or vice versa - is a recipe for disaster! People must have saints on both sides of their families to pull that off.

 

[dzneelvr]

My DH never wanted to have his parents tag along because he got enough of them growing up. MIL and FIL would be an absolute nightmare...I can't think of any positive they would bring to a trip to WDW. I think you're a saint for trying it once On the other hand, my youngest brother and his family would be a great trip for all of us. We're waiting until the nephews and niece get a bit older to go. I think every family tree has certain branches that sync up better than others.

 

[Julylady]

What an interesting thread! We are leaving Friday for a trip with my DB, DSIL, and their two young girls( 7 and 4). The same group went three years ago and we had an "interesting" time. My brother was fine, but my sister-in-law had absolutely no stamina. She would do 1-2 rides and then want to go back to the hotel and sleep. Sometimes she would join us later, but mostly she just stayed back at the hotel all day. She said she enjoyed the parks, but they were just exhausting. After the trip I encouraged her to see her doctor since someone her age shouldn't be so tired! She was honest and said her idea of vacation is to get a lot of rest and relaxation. Oh well, she paid a lot of money for park passes for 1-2 rides per day!

Well, its three years later and we decided to do it again. We are staying at a 2-bedroom DVC home and will be eating in all breakfasts and one meal a day to save them $$. The other meals will be counter-service except for the princess meal that we are paying for. It will be a different trip for us for sure!

Last year we took just the girls on a 4-day Disney cruise and 4 days in the parks. So, they are more experienced Disney tourists than their parents. My 7-year old niece loves the opening ceremony at the Magic Kingdom so we are going to try to catch that at least once, probably twice.

Both adults seem very excited about going and talk about a lot of different rides they want to do. It will be interesting to see if my sister-in-law stays longer in the parks this time. We have decided to just let the girls dictate our schedule. If they want to go back to the hotel in the afternoon and swim, that will be fine with use. If they want to stay at the parks, okay too. I also plan to make it clear to my sister-in-law that she is welcome to keep up with us or go her own way. She can do whatever she wants.

Wish us luck.....

Donna

 

[bluslag]

We have not gone with in-laws (especially both sets) because I usually have to take care of them both. And you have to treat each one the same so what attention you spend on one you have to do to the other. To much stress for me. I love all of them but I don't think I can handle that. We have gone with friends the last 2 years and we have paid for all the rooms. We own DVC. These friends are very tight with their money which is their right. We got the DDP so that made it much easier because when it came time to pay for the bill it was already taken care of. Also we didn't have to hear about don't order that because it costs to much. It was a very enjoyable vacation but I don't really like to think about money on vacation. We don't spend a ton but it still is my vacation and I work every other day of the year. We own our own business so you don't get a day off. This year we are taking our kids and their families. We have planned a week for ourselves before they all come down. When they get there it is their vacation and I want to be as much help as I can with the kids. Let you know how it goes.

 

[delilah]

We have dvc, and invite various family members and friends to come with us. I agree that it is most enjoyable to go alone, just the three of us, once in a while. Both sides of the family live in Florida--mine in Ft. Myers, DH's in Tampa. Both families don't want to go to parks, never offer to pitch in for meals, etc. This past June put me over the edge, however. Right now I have a reservation for next June just for my immediate family, and I might very well keep it that way.

This past June, we rented two AKL villa rooms, and invited my brother's family of 4 to stay in one (a studio) and we rented a 1 BR unit. I also invited my second brother, who is single, to share the 1BR with us. My SIL didn't want to go to parks at all. Her son by a previous marriage was unable to come because his school was still in session, which peaved her, even though we gave the option for them to cancel if the time we were going didn't suit them. Actually, the younger two were still in school, also, and were missing the last week of school. I felt really bad, because if they had explained all this, I would have been fine with cancelling their reservation, and going to visit with them at a different time.

My other brother is a diabetic, and developed a foot sore while at WDW. Of course, this was my fault, because I forced him to come along with us to visit MK and Epcot. Actually, because he doesn't watch his diet and take his meds correctly, and ignored the foot sore, he got an infection, and actually lost part of his foot.

So, when we went last week, for fall break, for only 4 days, we went by ourselves, and didn't tell anybody we were going.

 

[tlbwriter]

but they want to eat by 5-6 each day and then they want to go back to the resort early so their kids (9,5,4,2) can get to bed at normal time. So no Wishes, Spectromagic, Illuminations or Fantasmic.

We usually do 2-3 characters breakfasts. They said they can't get up and going early in the morning and are not planning to get to the parks until after 10:00 each day. What!!! So no rope drops or EMH for us either.

And it will be too cold to swim in late November/early December.

I suggested we could go on, do our thing and meet up with them later after they're up and at the parks. Then we could stay and do the evening activities after they've retired for the evening. But dd24 said it's a family trip - we should do things as a family. We had a hard time convincing the father that Disney was worth the money - and I'm afraid he's going to come home feeling that he didn't get his money's worth because he's going to miss alot.

Wait - the other family basically wants to go to bed at 8:00, and you're going to sit there miserable in your room because your DD thinks you should be doing things as a family? This is absurd. Let them go to bed, and then you go do things in the evening. And if your DD wants to sit alone in her room because it's not fair to enjoy WDW while her cousins are asleep, let her do that herself! Please, don't sacrifice your trip. Get there as early as you want, and have them call you when they get to the park. Do your own thing after they retire for the evening. There's no reason for you to do all of the compromising, especially when you could both get what you want out of this trip!

 

[tlbwriter]

FIL doesn't like any rides. "They go too fast; they make me sick; I don't like Dumbo"...oh, man! Why are you here? We can't let him sit out every ride

Why? He's an adult, right? And doesn't need constant supervision? If anyone needed to sit with him and keep him company, his wife could have done it.

 

[tkhkroberts]

I just returned from a trip with my family (DH and DDx2), my parents, DB, and DN on Monday and I will never, ever go on another trip with them again.

Not only did my DB (28y/o) throw a fit, stopping feet and all, because he did not get to ride Dumbo right away, he and my DN hung spoons from their noses while eating at Le Cellier. Okay hard enough to get reservations for 8 there, but to act this way is just plan crazy.

My mother also needs attention on her, so she decided to fake chest pain in the middle of the night in order to wake me up as I am an RN. I knew immediately that she was having heart burn as she stopped taking her medications when we left on vacation and had eaten at O'hana the night before late.

At one point my oldest DD wanted to ride Splash Mountain so I took her on the ride and they just up and left, going to the other side of the park with my youngest DD without telling me what was going on. It appears that DB was upset that he had not seen the Tiki Room yet.

Along with the threats of violence from DB constantly when he was not getting his way, I cannot imagine a more horrible vacation. I have never returned from the world and not wanted to go back right away, but this trip sure has succeeded in making me not interested in going anywhere now at all.

I also learned that I need new babysitters while I work as DDs usually stay at my parents overnight when I work the weekends, but no more with the violent DB and extreme amounts of favoring my DN over my DDs. She would actually tell my DDs to get out of the way so she could get a better picture of DN.

 

[wii fit mama]

We took my mom on several trips to Disney and she was a lot of work. We had to get her a scooter, but she wouldn't drive it on the bus so my dh had to do it and people would stare at him when he drove the scooter. She was a real slob too and left her stuff all over the room. She only went on a few rides and she usually skipped a few days at the park. We got soaking wet one night and she got really mad at my dh when he insisted on carrying her sopping wet fanny pack for her. She accused us of losing her camera when it was buried in her messy suitcase.

Despite all the trouble, we're glad that we took the time because my dd has such good memories from the trips now that she's no longer with us.

 

[santa's surpriz]

I have learned that I do not like big family vacations. 2 incidents made me decide to plan my own trips, We went to Myrtle Beach with the in-laws. All they did was complain and make their points known how much the trip costs to all three kids, spouses, and grandchildren. Totally ruined my vacation. I was afraid to eat anything when we went out. Another trip was with my parents after my divorce to Hilton Head. Everything had to planned around T-times and my mom kept referring to it as "her vacation" she is retired, I took off a week of work for it! I was so upset. She keeps inviting herself on WDW vactions, although I would love for her to see light in daughter's eyes, I compromise and offer that she can fly down for a couple days.

 

[ToddyLu]

My other brother is a diabetic, and developed a foot sore while at WDW. Of course, this was my fault, because I forced him to come along with us to visit MK and Epcot. Actually, because he doesn't watch his diet and take his meds correctly, and ignored the foot sore, he got an infection, and actually lost part of his foot.

Ok, now I have heard everything. As a wound care nurse I see Diabetic wounds all the time. I cannot believe he actually held you accountable for this. I always tell my patient's "as long as you have your feet and continue to do crazy things, you will give me job security and will see me every 6 months or so". The ones who come back, usually chuckle and say I have hexed them. I hope you have no guilt in this. I will say a prayer that he is taking better care of himself. It is funny, when Diabetics get their new shoes I always tell them, "break them in slowly over time--no trips to Disney the week you get new shoes".

 

[PrincessBelle39]

We had our 'trip of a lifetime' with our family of 11 (mum, dad, brother, sister and kids plus us) almost 12 months ago. It was a disaster. Maybe I'm a glutten for punishment, but I really wish I could give it another go to try and do it a bit better this time. Some of the time was good but I would really love to have some better memories. We'd have to do it a bit differently if we did it again but I'd love to try. I don't think anyone else in the family would give it another go though.

 

[dreamin_disney]

why do we allow others to do this. I have the same problem. For years i would go out of my way for MIL or do what she wanted so i wouldnt cause any waves. Each time i was the only one unhappy but went with the flow. This year has been the first time that i'm starting to say 'NO!" Its either make other happy or make yourself happy and those we try to make happy never stop and think of other but themselve.

The other day i mentioned i want to throw myself a HUGE 40th party in a few years and right away MIL butted in well dfi and I can have one together. I told her no, i've never had a party and this is what i want to do for myself. She went on well since his is in May and your in July you should have it together. I said well i want this party all to myself I dont want to share the spotlight( i was being honooray, i dont like the spotlight just trying to prove a point). Well she continued, so to shut her up i said, well if i dont have a huge party then instead i want a tummytuck and lypo(totally out of character for me and no i wouldnt get it done-lol).
Even my own wedding plans have been changed a bit to please her, so from now on i'm keeping everything to myself just like i did with my wdw trip. Its our 1st family vacation and i dindt want tag a longs. We went to DLR with bil and sil and basically did what they wanted, this way we do what we want when we want on our own.

Take another trip and enjoy it, just dont tell anyone your plans until its to late for anyone to make plans-lol! I know i'm evil-lol!


i guess people will only do to you, what you allow them to do I keep reminding myself this

 

[bwatlas]

We had our 'trip of a lifetime' with our family of 11 (mum, dad, brother, sister and kids plus us) almost 12 months ago. It was a disaster. Maybe I'm a glutten for punishment, but I really wish I could give it another go to try and do it a bit better this time. Some of the time was good but I would really love to have some better memories. We'd have to do it a bit differently if we did it again but I'd love to try. I don't think anyone else in the family would give it another go though.

What would you like to do different? I'm going to be in this boat in June, and trying to prepare myself for it.
I can usually go with the flow, but I know I will NOT be able to tollerate my WHOLE FAMILY (10 days )day in and day out. Please help me prepare, if t hat is at all possible.
On a side note, this is 'grandparents' dream, and have saved for 20+ years for this trip, so it isn't 'my trip'. Just my presence is required. So, yes, I will go (after all, it is WDW, right), but please help me prepare!

 

[lurkernj]

WOW, reading some of these responses makes me think....

We went with MIL and FIL in Sept and had a great time (plus DH, DS13, DS10)! I asked everyone for input before I planned anything and everyone said they were fine with whatever I planned (kids helped pick some restaurants). I must say, they all went with the flow and there were no complaints. Gotta wonder though, if the in-laws came back and thought that maybe I drove them nuts , I was pretty commando! I did give them the opportunity to skip stuff and rest, but they were gluttons for punishment!