I am having a really REALLY hard time! CONFESSIONS

[wiskband]

Once again all, I hate to be whiner but, I am really REALLY having a hard time. I am sure you all know by now that I have quit smoking, and as much as I am smart enough to know that weight may come along with it, I think, it coming way to rapidly! I am serious, I have a pair of jeans here that literally fit me last week and I can not get them buttoned!I managed to get on my TM the past two days without a problem. I was happy to feel that the not smoking really helped me got further already! I can already feel the difference in my breathing, I feel so much healthier. Now I know you may all begin to say ( and many of you have in the past ) that I should concentrate on the smoking first then worry about the weight but, that is sooooooooo hard to do. It is not easy for me to lose weight. Every night, I tell myself tomorrow is the day! I start new and fresh! I do good during the day then night comes along and I screw up. Then when I screw up I really over do it!
I have been around WISH long enough to know that I should take it one day at a time and I shouldn't be so hard on myself but, I am really beginning to worry. I need some sort of wake up call or something. My dear friends says it only because I am home now I havent been back to work ( go back this week) and I just have nothing else to do but eat! I dont know, I am really REALLY stressing this. I have now will power when it comes to this. Everyday I say ok its a new day and today I will begin and I just screw it up! If I told you all the things I have eaten this week, I think it would make most of you sick. lol. I mean I have been binging every night!
The past few days have been so hard, my emotions have been so wacked out. One day I think I am ready to do the right thing, later that day, I am binging! I am really stressed and feel like I am at a turning point, not to worry anyone, I will not go back to smoking,,,,,,,,,,,, its the wating thats a problem now!

renee

 

[karebear1]

Renee- keep hanging in there girlie! You're ability to reason well may be a bit off kilter right now. We're starting a WISHWAlker 2005 alumni thread on the first (FEBRUARY)- you need to come and post there an we will do our best to get you through it. In the measntime. instead of eating somethign, can you just drink water and walk on the treadmill? Even if you did it once, it would probably help you feel a little more in control. Don't forget that what you're doing right now with quitting smoking is gonna be tough. This eating is a by product of you not smoking anymore. It will calm down as your habit dies down.

WE LOVE YA GIRL! Keep hanging in there- and posting. Oh.... and get some pants with elastic in the waistband- it'll make ya feel better !

 

[Kimickey]

Renee,

Try and think of it as just a temporary thing and once you are over it you will be at a totally different and greater stage. You are still in the begining stages of not smoking. From what I hear it's hard. Beinging hard on your self only makes it worst. Think baby steps, one day at a time. Stay strong. We love you and are here for you.

I just wanted to add that; I got my mother to join the DIS boards and she was a smoker and stopped over twenty years ago. If you need to, you can ask her questions as to what helped her. I could not even being to tell you what helped her because I was about 6yrs old when she quit.

Again we are here for you and will support you. I can only image how hard it is for you. If it makes you feel any better, I'm having a hard time staying away from Strawberry Twizzlers. Although I have not had any in two weeks, it's still hard not to buy them. Every time I want to go and purchase a family size bag and veg out on them...I think of you guys here on the WISH. You guys keep me walking a straight line. I don't want to disappoint anyone here.

Just remember Baby Steps....

 

[wiskband]

TY! Its about 2 in the morning! I am literally crying reading your responses! And even after this thread, I have had at least 4 more things to eat! I swear, I am not even hungry! I seriously need to get a grip! I am losing it! My goodness, I sound like a mess! I should get some sleep and try again tomorrow! Yea, tomorrow, I am going to leav my TM out a plugged in and ready to go. Ill try that tomorrow, getting on when I am hungry! I seriuosly think, I have gained like 10 pounds this week. I feel horrible! However, I will try again tomorrow.
thanks again
renee

 

[Kimickey]

TY! Its about 2 in the morning! I am literally crying reading your responses! And even after this thread, I have had at least 4 more things to eat! I swear, I am not even hungry! I seriously need to get a grip! I am losing it! My goodness, I sound like a mess! I should get some sleep and try again tomorrow! Yea, tomorrow, I am going to leav my TM out a plugged in and ready to go. Ill try that tomorrow, getting on when I am hungry! I seriuosly think, I have gained like 10 pounds this week. I feel horrible! However, I will try again tomorrow.
thanks again
renee

Renee, it's okay to cry you are not a mess. Stay strong. The urges will pass. If you have to say "stay strong Renee" to your self to remind yourself then do it. If you feel the need to eat, try eating peanuts or walnuts and drink water. Peanuts fill you up quickly and kills the urge of hunger. You can do this girl, I believe in you. Even if you have to start over a million times, it's okay, you will get there. We all have "I will try again tomorrow" moments and sometimes they last for more than weeks sometimes months. The object is to not give up. Again we are all here for you

Kim

 

[MickeySP]

Please do not beat yourself up. Giving up smoking is way more important than a few (or more pounds) right now. Believe me I know, I am watching my father slowly die from smoking. He is bed ridden, on oxygen, had 1 lung removed already and has no quality of life.And he is still smoking - 2 packs a day! I would not wish this on my worst enemy. So please stick with it.

I am sure you thought of this but maybe if you spent a couple hours making better stuff to snack on in advance it might help. I know if I have things ready I am much less apt to search for the good (bad) stuff. Just try yo cut calories anywhere right now, even in small amounts. Although I do know Oreos can talk in the middle of the night, I hear them calling all the time.

GOOD LUCK!

 

[Christine]

Renee,
If you were up at 2:00 a.m. you're probably asleep now and won't get this for awhile.

I know how awful it must feel to just feel yourself expanding. I am losing weight now and I know if things start feeling tight, I freak!! It's terrible. Your situation is very different and you've got to face that. You're probably going to get a little pudgy for awhile. You do know that when you smoke the one actual benefit it has for you is that it increases your metabolism--some more so than in others. It is a drug (nicotene) and this is one of its effects. Not only are you feeling like you need to eat more, but your body is slowing down. Maybe if you just try to be a little more understanding of the process then you can cope. I think what you are doing is the right thing. I sometimes think the worst thing for people to do is say "I'll lose weight first and THEN I'll quit smoking." Because then they do lose weight, they stop smoking and the weight gain just does them in. PLEASE, PLEASE try to concentrate on the "quit smoking" rather than the weight gain, as hard as it is.

There are a few things you can maybe try for yourself:

Since your metabolism is slowing, try to do things to speed it up on its own: these would be cardiac workouts and, probably the best thing, strength training. Increased muscle mass causes a higher resting metabolism. I haven't read all of your posts so I don't know what you are doing.

Secondly, how is your health insurance? Have your tried Zyban (otherwise know as Wellbutrin)? I took Wellbutrin for other reasons that not smoking. It makes you a little fidgety and cuts cravings. I remember one day when I was on it, I was in my boss' office and he had his usual jar of candy on his desk. I always ate a few candy bars a day. On that particular day, I bit into one, started chewing, and had to throw the candy out. The Wellbutrin made the chocolate taste bad to me. So the Zyban/Wellbutrin make work for you on several levels. Many people who get fat on antidepressents add a little Wellbutrin to their day and it seems to help with the weight loss.

Hang in there because you're doing the right thing.

 

[Susan--Ontario]

Renee,

You seem to be in the same boat as the rest of us, and you've just quit smoking. So, you have the time of year, the hard work we've all just done and you've QUIT smoking!!!!!! That in itself is awesome. Like others have said, one day at a time. Maybe you should go for maintaining until you've got the quit smoking thing under control. When you feel like eating remember that 9 times out of 10 it is just that our bodies are thirsty. Try drinking some water or like me chew some ice. (bad habit I picked up when I was pregnant and had very, very low iron...did you know that when your iron is really low you crave ice and dirt.)

I feel just like you as far as the eating thing goes. Every morning I get up determined to make it to bed that night following a plan and it all goes to **** by 9:30. That's why I've come back to my friends here and on February 1st it's a new beginning after a month of total rebellion.

Keep posting here and we'll keep on trying to help. Work will help out because I think it's easier when you have a more regimented schedule. Try and enjoy your day and make one goal and achieve that. Mine for today is to drink 6 glasses of water.
Baby steps will get us where we want to end up.

 

[wiskband]

HI all and thanks............
christine.... I have tried Welbutrin actually, to try and quit smoking ( this was last year sometime). It did not work, I really didnt feel anything. But you say it may help for other things? I am going to go see my Dr. this week.

I feel al ittle better today, I went back to work and will be back full time this tuesday. My boss lit up right n front of me and I was fine. I think I am just swimming in my own pathtic mushy sorrows! lol. Perhps once I actully have thing to do like work and start running around again, things will be better. Myhubby is dealing with me ok we are actually getting ready now to take the kids to chuck e cheese. Anyway thanks again all, Ill post this evening again

rene

 

[DoeWDW]

, dear Renee! Sure wish I were close enough to give you that hug in person!

I don't know what to say - have never tackled a smoking habit - but I sure am hoping that all these tough feelings pass soon. I know right before TOM, I have anxiety for no other reason than hormones. Whatever is a little irritation in my life looms much larger during PMS time. Maybe your hormones are making you feel overly emotional? Not sure, just thought I'd mention it.

The important thing is to keep trying. Failure is not messing up daily. Failure is totally giving up. You are having a tough time right now. Be patient and loving with yourself. Keep coming back to WISH. Keep waking up with good intentions. Keep doing the right things for MOST of your day. The rest will fall into place.

You seem to thrive on activity. I think you are at your best when you're busy and working again will really help. Just keep hanging in there and don't give up, OK?

 

[AuroraluvsPhillip]

Keep posting Renee!
I quit smoking several times before I finally did it for good, I've been there girlfriend! I've never regretted it...and I did gain some weight..I was positively anorexic looking when I smoked, because I stress-smoked instead of stress-ate! Keep up the cardio and try to add in some free weight or machine work to get that metabolism burning...burn up those extra calories!
Make sure you are drinking all your water...take a multivitamin, so you're not craving any essential nutrients. Try substituting some more fiber stuff or healthy proteins or warm soups when you need a snack. Right now, I'm starving...I could reach for the dark chocolate Hershey kisses in the freezer...but I already had some today, so instead I will make a nice PB sandwich on whole wheat with some nice skim milk. It will fill me up just as well and will keep me full longer than a useless sugar rush...I consider it another battle won!
Keep up the good work...no more cigs!!!

 

[popeyeohoh]

No advice. I think you may have an initial weight gain then even off. good Luck. I know how hard it is.

 

[karebear1]

How's it going for you tonight Renee? I'm thinking about you!

 

[wiskband]

HI all and thanks.
Well, its 7 30 am and I just finished 4 and a half miles on the TM! Decided to change my hours, Awake hours that is. hoping I will get ot bed early and wont eat all that nasty junk food tonight. and perhaps if I get my exercise early I wont ruin the day by eating junk! Anyway, got to get kids ready for school till later.............

renee

 

[yasuern]

Renee,

I was so happy to hear you stopped smoking - THIS IS A HUGE DEAL!!!!

PLease don't get discouraged with not being on plan - and even being way off plan - Don't think I will start today to get back on track and if you don't you blow the whole day or few days - I know I have done this - concentrated on one meal at a time, exercising one day at a time - YOU WILL GET BACK ON TRACK! - you did the 1/2 marathon - you've lost 40lbs! and you QUIT SMOKING! - YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO DO- You've proved!

Sue

 

[keenercam]

Renee -- I am thinking of you right now and saying a prayer that you can recognize what a wonderful thing you have accomplished and that the rest of your weight loss journey will be satisfying and easier. You have already shown that you can overcome a physiological and psychological addiction. You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. Take comfort in your success and make a new commitment to continue on this healthy path you are traveling. You have so much to be proud of. God bless and hugs and pixie dust!

 

[wiskband]

You guys are the best! I had a great day today! Just wanted to let everyon know. I got up at 6 this morning and hit the TM did 4.5 miles in one hour! I stayed OP today and did not cheat at all! Just now, while watching TV I decided WHy not walk?" SO I hit the TM again. just walked for half hour got 1.60 miles done. I am off to bed, dont want to start eating bad now. And will et early tomorrow and do it all again! thanks all...........

PS the smoking thing, is now in the past! had a great day barely thought about it! I am now focusing on food and exercise!

thansk again all
renee

 

[lizdotcom99]

Renee,

Sounds like you have a great day!! I am so glad for you!! Keep up the good work!!

 

[wiskband]

thanks so much liz.hope I post similar to this tomorrow.
renee

 

[Kimickey]

Renee,

You are the woman!! Way to go, keep up the excellent work!