I Am Back Online So An Update For You

[DisneyAli]

Hi all i am back online so here is an update for you now i have caught up with all the new threads.

Its now been nine weeks since the bombshell and things have moved on again.

I got an interim separation agreement drawn up by my solicitor and when he came round to sign it, i read it out to him to explain the technical jargon to him then offered it to him to read before signing it in front of a witness, he declined to read it and just wanted to know where to sign.!!!!!When he went back to hers she was livid that he had signed it, as i said to him its none of her buisness i think she can see her easy money moving further away......two weeks later when he came to collect the last of his stuff on his agreed date of 1st march he tried to tell me that i had refused to let him read the agreement, but alas as i said to him i have a witness to say the opposite, result one very foul mouthed outburst from him. All his stuff has been removed which i am glad as each time he came round he was very moody and short tempered i was starting to worry a bit, my solicitor says to keep a record of all this and the text messages so if it continues he will obtain a court order to keep him away.

I still have not seen this other woman as she avoids coming into my work place when she knows i am working,,,,,coward....

My "spy" who lives four doors down from the happy couple says he is not convinced that she is only seeing my ex as when he is on board the ship there are some funny comings and goings on.

I have now changed all the bills over to my name and had the final accounts sent to his new address as they were in his name, a nice surprise for when he comes off the ship.

I am looking at ways to try and take the house off him when the time comes but its not going to be easy, but the solicitor says to wait and see what his next move is before making too many enquiries. Unfortunately the mortgage and house are in his name only, this doesnt make any difference to any settlement i will receive when the time comes, but i need to obtain information about taking on the mortgage if it is possible to do this if it is only in his name. I dont know if the mortgage company would allow this or not, anyone got any experience of this?

Health wise the stress and stain have taken their toll a bit by setting of IBS which i have suffered with on and off for years and the excema flared up big time but with continuing support from family and friends i am back on the way up...fighting all the way.

Thanks again to all of you and for the PM messages received. Its good to be back online. Alison.

 

[UKDEB]

Thanks for the update, Alison. As far as changing the mortgage into your own name goes, I think it's likely to depend on the terms of the settlement. In turn, that may well depend on the ownership and mortgage status. Three of my friends/colleagues are going through divorces. There are websites and discussion forums out there and, having looked at a few, it seems to me there are as many different settlement agreements as there are people involved in them. I guess it's probably one for your Solicitor. In any event, you would need to be able to evidence that you could service the mortgage.

One thing that has occurred to me - are you absolutely sure that your ex isn't likely to log onto this forum?

Nice to see you back online.

 

[edie w]

Hi Alison - I was wondering where you had got to!

I'm sorry things are still so difficult, but it sounds like you are coming out on top.

Keep on smiling

 

[BONZO]

Thanks for the update Alison.


Keep strong - we're all pulling for you!

 

[Beth__WDW23/6/02]

Hiya Alison,
I'm glad your pulling through
Sending hugs!!

Beth & Family

 

[signtalker]

Alison, in terms of the house being in your EX's name, you will not be able to do anything with regards to this, unless you get his say so!!!(data protection act!).Sounds awful, but case of been there done that got the T-shirt!!.

Glad to see you are getting back on track.

Jules

 

[KayleeUK]

Nice to see you back Glad to see you are on top of things.

 

[DisneyAli]

Hi all,

UK DEB i have password protected the computer so he cannot even dial up a connection, he stopped paying freeserve so it is now in my name only new account . He never visited this site, but in better days when the computer was used by us both, it was just listed in my favourites, i now log out to be on the safe side. \Also under the separation agreement he cannot get into the house without me being here.

Regarding the house, the solicitor says its a small chance but the court may order him to sign the deeds over to me, using his two damn good pensions and a fact that he would also have to pay some sort of maintence (very good wage compared to mine) plus paying all costs of selling house etc, would not leave him with as much as he thinks he might get, as some sort of bargining tool, if you get what i mean. Its getting more complicated all the time but i know its just a waiting game at the moment. I know at the end of the day it comes down to either half proceeds of house, part of his pension and some sort of maintenece OR a possible bargining deal to keep the house OR l leave his pensions and maintence alone and go for a much bigger share of the profit. Only time will tell where it will go. With regards to paying the mortgage if allowed i could extend it back to 25years and pay it reasonably comfortably as things stand at the moment. But knowing how bloodyminded he is being at the moment i know for a fact he would rather it was sold than even think of letting it go to me, but then again thats what it could well end up going to court for. When he walked out he thought, and his words, you can divorce me, we sell the house and split the profit down the middle, i dont think he has any idea of the can of worms he has opened and the consequences of what he has done.

I will keep you posted if you would like me to continue to do so, its good to have different input views on the situation.

thanks all alison.

 

[WDWfan uk]

Good to hear from you Alison

Sounds like you are getting plenty of sound advice from the solicitor. You have been doing the right thing since this all happened. I have heard experts advising people in your situation that they should not on any account start living elsewhere or move out, or any rights they may have had, would be affected, but I am no expert as far as this is concerned, just passing on something I have heard.

I'm sorry the strain has affected your health - you are, however, taking control of your life and being very courageous. Keep it going Alison - good things will come your way

 

[Olaf]

Good to hear from you Alison. It sounds like you're moving on. That's good. These things have a way of knocking the wind out of you.

Don't mean to be nosey, but what is IBS? It's not at all unusual to have health problems when going through something like this. Take care.

 

[Mrs Dazzle]

Keep in there Alison, we're rooting for you. Keep smiling.

Steph - IBS: Irritable Bowel Syndrome, normally set off by stress. My DH has had it for over 20 years and it's something we "live" with now on a day to day basis. It can, unfortunately, cause many symptoms, but usually bloated tums, nausea and (close your eyes weak stompached peeps), rathy iffy toilet motions

 

[Olaf]

Thanks Annie, boy do I feel like an idiot. I've just never heard it referred to as IBS.

 

[jana]

Good to hear from you Alison. I'm glad to hear things are going in the right direction for you.
Do keep us updated on how things are going and know you are in our thoughts.