I’m not imagining things, am I?

[Miffy]

OP, Do you have any idea what HELOC rates are right now? If you don't, prepare to be shocked: 9%. Those are the good rates. For a loan the size your husband (I cannot call him "DH" since there seems to be very little dear about him) is taking out, the rate might be even higher.

If this were happening to me, at this point I'd be at the office of a lawyer, starting divorce proceedings. I'd be protecting all my assets any way I could. Screenshots on the DISboards are of no help to you. You need real help and someone who is on your side, which, judging from what you've posted, the lawyer you're currently consulting is absolutely not on your side.

ETA: From what little I read of the texts, it seems that your husband is playing like he's trying to scam the scammers. This works only in a movie, not in life. Maybe if your husband were an FBI fraud expert, he'd be able to accomplish this, with the help of several people in his FBI department. But, really, it seems like he's trying to scam you. And so far, he seems to be succeeding.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I’m going to call my lawyer tomorrow and get clearer info from him.

The people from Bank of America are scheduled to come to our house this Friday morning, for us to sign the papers. I’m going to see if my lawyer can be here before anyone signs anything.


I didn’t mean to sound flip in my earlier post. To be honest, I’m numb right now. Kind of shocked when i think about this whole thing. I sometimes want to take too many of my pills and just not wake up but I can’t and won’t. I also feel like jumping off the bridge. I’ve gone through some traumatic family things in the last couple of months. Loss of my only sister a month and a half ago. Suddenly. i was her minutes after she passed. You don’t want to know what image I have in my head from that. My sister was a very strong person. She was my anchor in life. My rock. She would’ve told my husband “She’s not going to sign anything because it’s too risky and she doesn’t have enough info about it. And that that. Period.“

I know that that is what I should do and say. I’m so worn down now, emotionally and mentally that I just can’t deal with anything.

As for all of the emoticons that I use, that doesn’t mean anything. If you know the real me, you’d that I love to use them.

Your posts seem to reflect self destructive feelings and depression and also it makes your DH a monster to exploit it. Don't sign a single thing and wait until you heal. Also get to a Dr immediately, you may need a diagnosis to help people advocate for you. It is illegal to financially abuse a disabled person and the fact your DH appears to be going down this road is nothing short of sinister. Everything you are sharing sounds like a story that would end up on the news, it is not good.

If this is theater it is a peculiar hobby.

I'm still reading & responding because I have actually known people who had had weirder things happen in their lives so while it is odd it is still within the margins.

If your DH really has all that money tell him to try to withdraw it and see what happens, best guess is the whole story is nonsense and he is trying to scam you like degenerate gamblers do.

 

[Miffy]

If your DH really has all that money tell him to try to withdraw it and see what happens, best guess is the whole story is nonsense and he is trying to scam you like degenerate gamblers do.

This is what I've been thinking as well. Many years ago I had a boyfriend who was a degenerate gambler and I was very young and naive. I believed what he was telling me, but everything he said was a total lie tailored to extract money from me. And this situation sounds not dissimilar.

 

[gottalovepluto]

Stop the merry go round. He gets the $90k out or he never contacts them again. You guys aren’t going to scam scammers and run away on vacations lol.

Don’t forget all crypto trades are to be reported on your taxes and short term gains are taxable. So that’ll be fun.

(And genius he is not. Heloc money would somehow help your credit score? )

 

[SteveMouse]

Impacts of a HELOC on credit scores, straight from Experian, one of the scoring companies: https://www.experian.com/blogs/ask-experian/how-does-a-heloc-affect-your-credit-score/

 

[wvjules]

Stop beating around the bush and be an adult. Tell him what you know and have an actual adult conversation about it. (If this is even real)

 

[LuvOrlando]

OP, did you ever check your own credit reports via
https://www.annualcreditreport.com/...36.478348270.1684251099-1718922599.1684251098

and tax records?
https://www.irs.gov/individuals/get-transcript

 

[gottalovepluto]

Impacts of a HELOC on credit scores, straight from Experian, one of the scoring companies: https://www.experian.com/blogs/ask-experian/how-does-a-heloc-affect-your-credit-score/

Well duh. Unless OP has CC debt they aren’t gonna see a credit score benefit from a HELOC…

 

[Allison]

So, what happened?

 

[WDWDCLDLFAN]

Thanks to the link about pig-butchering, all brakes were put on his plans. He cancelled the heloc off, (of course coming up with some reason that it was their fault for not emailing the paperwork to read in advance).

It’s been fairly Amusing listening to him explaining his problem of not being able to get “his” $88K out of his crypto account. It’s gone. That money is gone.Its like he refuses to accept that fact.

Yes, he’s a liar, cheater, gas-lighter, emotionally stunted, narcissistic piece of garbage, but he has not touched or changed my credit or my son’s credit. We have zero balances on our credit cards, and no enquirers, hard or otherwise, have been made into my credit score.

Also, he knows all about having to pay taxes. I think this may be partly the reason why he’s now freaking out a little about not having the $88k because he was going to use that to put back into his 401k account before the end of the year. He already had them withdraw taxes on it before he withdrew the funds.

I don’t want to keep defending him, because he’s an absolute idiot, but I wanted to clarify the parts about taxes, my credit, etc etc.

Anyway, I don’t know what else to tell those of you think that I made this all up. I’ve now had a couple of people send me private messages, saying that they have figured out my previous screen name.

As for what I do going forward, that remains to be seen. I’m giving him time to deal with the fact that there are not going to be any profits made for this stupid venture of his, then I’ll begin the task of finding out all about the “other woman” who took him for the ride of his life. If it weren’t for the fact that, from what I’ve read, they use human trafficking persons to carry on these scams, I‘d…. Well I don’t know what I’d do. Get her and any other captives the heck out of there. I can’t even imagine.

This might be my last post here. Maybe in a few months I’ll be back with a life update.

I want to thank those of you who believed me and gave me technical and/or emotional support in one way or the other.

If you didn’t believe me, so be it. It’s understandable. Have a good day.

 

[SC Minnie]

OP-- thank goodness he came to his senses before ruining you financially. No doubt your questions and sending him links made a difference.

 

[Miffy]

Yes, he’s a liar, cheater, gas-lighter, emotionally stunted, narcissistic piece of garbage, but he has not touched or changed my credit or my son’s credit. We have zero balances on our credit cards, and no enquirers, hard or otherwise, have been made into my credit score.

OP, I'm relieved to hear that your and your son's credit haven't been touched or changed. But that doesn't really balance the scales on the other side of all the negatives.

We DISers do not know all the facts. For one thing, it might be next to impossible for you to divorce him and still have a place to live. And you have not just yourself but your disabled son to consider. Among other things.

I wish you better things for your future--immediate and distant.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Thanks to the link about pig-butchering, all brakes were put on his plans. He cancelled the heloc off, (of course coming up with some reason that it was their fault for not emailing the paperwork to read in advance).

It’s been fairly Amusing listening to him explaining his problem of not being able to get “his” $88K out of his crypto account. It’s gone. That money is gone.Its like he refuses to accept that fact.

Yes, he’s a liar, cheater, gas-lighter, emotionally stunted, narcissistic piece of garbage, but he has not touched or changed my credit or my son’s credit. We have zero balances on our credit cards, and no enquirers, hard or otherwise, have been made into my credit score.

Also, he knows all about having to pay taxes. I think this may be partly the reason why he’s now freaking out a little about not having the $88k because he was going to use that to put back into his 401k account before the end of the year. He already had them withdraw taxes on it before he withdrew the funds.

I don’t want to keep defending him, because he’s an absolute idiot, but I wanted to clarify the parts about taxes, my credit, etc etc.

Anyway, I don’t know what else to tell those of you think that I made this all up. I’ve now had a couple of people send me private messages, saying that they have figured out my previous screen name.

As for what I do going forward, that remains to be seen. I’m giving him time to deal with the fact that there are not going to be any profits made for this stupid venture of his, then I’ll begin the task of finding out all about the “other woman” who took him for the ride of his life. If it weren’t for the fact that, from what I’ve read, they use human trafficking persons to carry on these scams, I‘d…. Well I don’t know what I’d do. Get her and any other captives the heck out of there. I can’t even imagine.

This might be my last post here. Maybe in a few months I’ll be back with a life update.

I want to thank those of you who believed me and gave me technical and/or emotional support in one way or the other.

If you didn’t believe me, so be it. It’s understandable. Have a good day.

So glad for you that you and your child's records are clean, it is a felony to fake an identity but people do it anyway.

As for the other woman, I was just reading recently about how bots and AI generated personalities are now more often the things that catfish men than real women so it is entirely possible your DH was just duped up down and sideway. He is probably lucky you stopped him from traveling as he probably would have been rolled. There may be no-one else, just a chatbot or some such https://nypost.com/2023/06/29/ai-catfish-bots-are-infiltrating-dating-apps-report/

The important thing is you stopped the loss, I am sad this happened because half his 401K is yours too so if he does leave your lawyer could probably argue he owes you that back.

Hopefully, this will shock your spouse to his senses and you two can reconcile your lives in some sort of compatible way.

 

[Chili327]

Thanks to the link about pig-butchering, all brakes were put on his plans. He cancelled the heloc off, (of course coming up with some reason that it was their fault for not emailing the paperwork to read in advance).

It’s been fairly Amusing listening to him explaining his problem of not being able to get “his” $88K out of his crypto account. It’s gone. That money is gone. Its like he refuses to accept that fact.

This is ALL you or anyone else needs to know its a scam. Also I don't remember what was invested to get that, but it maybe just an expensive lesson learned. Hopefully that's the end of it. Good Luck!!

 

[LuvOrlando]

This is ALL you or anyone else needs to know its a scam. Also I don't remember what was invested to get that, but it maybe just an expensive lesson learned. Hopefully that's the end of it. Good Luck!!

The one thing that struck me when watching Madoff: The Monster of Wall Street was how resistant he was to allowing people to liquidate. It became very apparent that these systems only work as long as the scam artist is the only one making withdrawals otherwise it is all just numbers on a page, so the scam artist will do anything they can to prevent withdrawals. Money only really exists if you have it in your hands. If you can't get the money you think you have into your own hands, you should be suspicious it might not actually exist... funny how it works.

 

[princesscinderella]

Best of luck with everything thanks for the update. I’m sorry he was scammed but I’m glad it wasn’t worse if he got the heloc money. I don’t know where your relationship goes from here but at least you have a lot more information than what you had when you started this thread. This whole experience may just make your relationship stronger if you can get through to the other side.

 

[princesscinderella]

The one thing that struck me when watching Madoff: The Monster of Wall Street was how resistant he was to allowing people to liquidate. It became very apparent that these systems only work as long as the scam artist is the only one making withdrawals otherwise it is all just numbers on a page, so the scam artist will do anything they can to prevent withdrawals. Money only really exists if you have it in your hands. If you can't get the money you think you have into your own hands, you should be suspicious it might not actually exist... funny how it works.

The Madoff documentary was so good, I can’t believe the house of cards held for as long as it did. It helped that he was so revered in the industry.

 

[john7994]

The Madoff documentary was so good, I can’t believe the house of cards held for as long as it did. It helped that he was so revered in the industry.

And who doesn’t like - a too good to be true - get rich (quick) scheme …

 

[lifesavacation]

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. What a mess.

Thank you to the DIS for posting that pig butchering article. You did a good thing

 

[WDWDCLDLFAN]

Hey everyone, OP here

I figured I’d sign in and give a brief update.

My H admits it was a pig butchering scheme. But still will not admit that he was being taken, whole-hog as it were (yes, a pig joke ). He still claims that he “knew it” all along. With a freak for thinking anyone believes that.

I still can’t trust him. Random Asian women (I have absolutely nothing against Asian women, believe me. If these people are even real and even Asian on the other side of texts he receives). So he gets a ton of texts on LinedIn. They begin a private conversation with him, asking about his job, and then he of course has to mention that he’s been to China on a work trip, and that’s all it takes; they start talking about everything from legit work related things, to then them showering him with praises (they don’t even freaking know him! lol. ) asking where in the US he lIves, how’s the weather, if you ever come back to China I would love to be your tour guide, I would love to come and visit you, Etc etc etc.

He’s a liar because he tells me that he’s not having random conversations with random women. Big fat stupid ugly liar that he is.

Oh, I know all of this because I’m able to log on as him on LinkedIn on my own device. As for checking his internet history, that’s been cut way back to just normal internet searches for things.

Im just biding my time now. Gathering facts. We’re starting to get our tax documents in the mail, which I then will scan and send to our accountant. This means I’ll have all of our up to date amounts and balances.

Who ever thinks that they’re going to be dealing with this kind of bull crap in their (very early) 60’s?! popcorn::

I guess that’s all I have for now.