husbands going thru wives clothing for rummage...

[mykidsand_i]

OK. I know my house has been under a lot of stress lately. We've had a sick little girl, no answers and too many trips to the hospital...STRESS... So, I thought I'd get some house work done today and get ready for our rummage sale today. My DD6 has been content napping, getting up for short times, taking some tylenol and napping again...

SO, I started going through my closet today. First of all, there are clothing pieces that I have in there (my rehearsal dinner dress, a few special items) that I've chosen to hold on to because of sentimental reasons. No big deal. My husband knows that. I won't be fitting into these items anytime soon...I wish I could say otherwise.

Then, there are a few of those 'hard to get rid of' items, because I keep telling myself that I'll be loosing the weight and want to wear those size 8 pants again (my favorite ones that I've ever had)...Well, I'm partially there, but not yet weight wise. I left the room for about 10 minutes to take care of DD6 and came back into my room. My husband had started 'helping me' as he put it and I was ready to chew his head off. He had pulled out about 5-6 shirts that were size larges and said "OH, these are size large, so I thought they should go on the rummage sale" OK, these are shirts that JUST WORE last summer and probably can wear again. To 'humor him' I tried them on and they ALL FIT He said "Oh, I didn't know you could get into a large" and I was back to being ticked off at him and told him to get out of the room.

He's been stressed, I've been stressed and I KNOW that he didn't mean to be 'unthoughtful'. He was just thinking that he was trying to help since I've been so busy lately. He told me he was sorry, that he shouldn't have said anything.

I'm still a little crabby about it though, because he's got about 20 shirts and 2 suit jackets that he's not worn in 3 years. He'd freak if I started in on him about fitting into that stuff.

OK, my vent is over. I just hate to have my husband go through my clothing and tell me what I should be getting rid of. It buggs me. I bet it would make most women mad.

*He's NEVER been one to say anything about 'weight' and things like that to me. NEVER. Those comments today were not like him. IN FACT, he just told me a few days ago that he thought I was looking really good (I've lost about 25-30 lbs. in the past three months)...
I just wanted to vent a little...I feel better and don't feel like yelling at him anymore- it feels good to get it out

 

[amg35]

OK. I know my house has been under a lot of stress lately. We've had a sick little girl, no answers and too many trips to the hospital...STRESS... So, I thought I'd get some house work done today and get ready for our rummage sale today. My DD6 has been content napping, getting up for short times, taking some tylenol and napping again...

SO, I started going through my closet today. First of all, there are clothing pieces that I have in there (my rehearsal dinner dress, a few special items) that I've chosen to hold on to because of sentimental reasons. No big deal. My husband knows that. I won't be fitting into these items anytime soon...I wish I could say otherwise.

Then, there are a few of those 'hard to get rid of' items, because I keep telling myself that I'll be loosing the weight and want to wear those size 8 pants again (my favorite ones that I've ever had)...Well, I'm partially there, but not yet weight wise. I left the room for about 10 minutes to take care of DD6 and came back into my room. My husband had started 'helping me' as he put it and I was ready to chew his head off. He had pulled out about 5-6 shirts that were size larges and said "OH, these are size large, so I thought they should go on the rummage sale" OK, these are shirts that JUST WORE last summer and probably can wear again. To 'humor him' I tried them on and they ALL FIT He said "Oh, I didn't know you could get into a large" and I was back to being ticked off at him and told him to get out of the room.

He's been stressed, I've been stressed and I KNOW that he didn't mean to be 'unthoughtful'. He was just thinking that he was trying to help since I've been so busy lately. He told me he was sorry, that he shouldn't have said anything.

I'm still a little crabby about it though, because he's got about 20 shirts and 2 suit jackets that he's not worn in 3 years. He'd freak if I started in on him about fitting into that stuff.

OK, my vent is over. I just hate to have my husband go through my clothing and tell me what I should be getting rid of. It buggs me. I bet it would make most women mad.

Ah, well I would take it as a compliment that he thought those shirts were now too big for you. And at least he was trying to help you!

Good intentions? Maybe?

 

[mykidsand_i]

This brought me to another thought. I think the problem in a lot of marriages now days is simply the DIFFERENCE between men and women. My husband probably didn't even mean anything personal by his comments, he's just looking at it as a 'project that needs to get done and him helping me will make it go smoother and faster.' I'm greatful that he is a helper...a lot of wives don't have husbands who would jump in and try to help out.

Then, there's me- I'm emotional right now and take everything as a personal comment (which I usually don't do)...but I feel like I'm on the defense- even though I don't have to be.

 

[mykidsand_i]

Ah, well I would take it as a compliment that he thought those shirts were now too big for you. And at least he was trying to help you!

Good intentions? Maybe?

Yeah, Maybe...that's a good way to look at it. I was thinking he was implying that they were too small...I think I won't have that conversation with him and I'll just go on thinking he ment they would be too large. I'll give him the benifit of the doubt.

 

[disykat]

Maybe I just fight dirty, because if it were me I'd be grabbing those shirts and suits of his out of the closet. "Since we're getting rid of things we can't wear at the moment...."

I agree with you it would make most women mad. I think it would make most men mad too. Adults get to decide what to get rid of unless they've given someone else the go ahead!

 

[mykidsand_i]

I wonder, If I gave him FULL permission to sell/get rid of ANYTHING he wanted out of my closet, I wonder what would be in the pile? HMMMM...that's kind of funny to think about. I know there's like 3 shirts he doesn't like (I got rid of one of them, but kept two to wear around the house/cleaning type stuff)...

I'm sure I'd have a closet full of young 20's clothing that's low cut and revealing...haha. I'd probably walk around looking like a tramp if he chose my clothing.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

Don't be so hard on him. Men are clueless but have good intentions.

I really depend on my DH to help me declutter every room in our house. I am just too sentimental. I want to keep everything. I sometimes have to leave so that he can do it. He is great at organizing (engineer) and has been a big help to me.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Poor you, silly man, what was he thinking? I think you and DH should have a conversation where you point out to him that you already have a mirror for the truth and that it's his job to fudge it a bit so you can all live happily ever after.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

I honestly think he was trying to help, and was trying to be positive in selecting what he thought was too big for you.

I think it would be kind of fun to have him choose what he didn't want in your wardrobe! Could open up possibilities for shopping for new clothes, eh?

Seriously, if he has decent taste in clothing why not make it a mutual effort, and I do mean on both sides. He weighs in on your choices and you do the same for him.

My parents did that and they're going on 50 years strong. My Dad often brought my Mom clothing from wherever he had traveled (traveled for work) and my Mom ALWAYS chose my Dad's shirts, ties, and with him his suits.

It was just what they did.

 

[MiniGirl]

Ah, well I would take it as a compliment that he thought those shirts were now too big for you. And at least he was trying to help you!

Good intentions? Maybe?

This was how I read it as well. In fact, I read your post several times to see what I was missing. If you wore a shirt last summer and have lost 25+ pounds recently, it only makes sense that he thought they were too big for you.

 

[disykat]

Boy you guys are way too nice. I'm having a hard time seeing how "I didn't know you could get into a large" could mean he thought they were too big. Are you just trying to make the OP feel better?

IMO mykidsandI deserves to get her snark on over this one and he deserves whatever he gets!