Humilty


One way is by showing and telling our kids that we love them no matter what, that their talents make them unique but everyone has some thing to offer in life.

I have one very special memory of a professional athlete.

I went to Pitt back during the time when not only were we winning national championships but the steelers were also winning. the town is a very "football" town and athletes were some times treated as stars. Anyway long story short, I was invited home for a barbeque with one particular quarterback who was known for being a regular nice guy (he went on to the pros). We arrived at his house and his mother asked him to clean the bathrooms before company came. I remember mentioning this and his mother seemed shocked. She said "i hope he doesn't think he's too good to clean up when he's on campus".

I think his close knit family constantly remind him that is self worth was not in being a football star.

Great story!

Coworker gave his brilliant daughter a private education through HS and she became a little full of herself. She wanted to become a surgeon, so he asked her how effective she'd really be if the guy who mopped the OR didnt respect her. Was a real eye opener for her :thumbsup2
 
I have one very special memory of a professional athlete.

I went to Pitt back during the time when not only were we winning national championships but the steelers were also winning. the town is a very "football" town and athletes were some times treated as stars. Anyway long story short, I was invited home for a barbeque with one particular quarterback who was known for being a regular nice guy (he went on to the pros). We arrived at his house and his mother asked him to clean the bathrooms before company came. I remember mentioning this and his mother seemed shocked. She said "i hope he doesn't think he's too good to clean up when he's on campus".

I think his close knit family constantly remind him that is self worth was not in being a football star.
This is so true, and really is one way that people learn humility. My DS16 is working in a great place which has to do with the field he wants to go on to study in college. In essence, a great opportunity. But before he gets to the good part, or the really fun stuff, he's cleaning a lot of bathrooms and mopping a lot of floors, etc. DH and I were thrilled, cause that's how we started off and we think it builds character. :rotfl2: DS knows it, too. He tells us about work when he comes home, and inevitably one of the stories involves something that slightly embarrassed or "humiliated" in some way, but he's good with it and can even laugh at himself. It will be good some day that he can say he started off cleaning toilets.

I think this is also something we could take away from the "new car for teens" thread the other day, too - that driving a beater for a while helps build the same type of character and humility. It's also the same principle behind volunteering in the community, working with animals, children, the elderly, etc. Giving of oneself in some way that takes the focus of the individual and puts it elsewhere.
YMMV
 
You've got to be very careful in how you teach such a thing.

I agree with this. When dd17 was young, she had a lot of confidence, but not a lot of empathy. She was (and still is) very bright, and very talented, and knew it. We kind of took her down a peg or two. For a while, she did lose a lot of confidence, without us realizing it (busy with the babies and toddlers).

She turned out okay, has her confidence back mostly. However, I feel she no longer takes chances, or puts herself out there, but sticks to what she is good at.

She has tons of friends, teachers love her, as do other parents - whatever lack of empathy remains, is only with dealing with her family. :lmao: Fortunately, #2, #3, and #4 have no problem with humility and empathy. #5 - the worst of the bunch, but he's learning, slowly learning...
 
I don't know about teaching humility, per se. But I do intend to raise DD that, "Only mommy and daddy think you're awesome no matter what you do. With everyone else in the world you're going to have to work to prove it."
 
How do you teach them that though?

The approach we've taken with our kid is to instill in him the idea that he is worthy of, deserves and is entitled to all kinds of things but that it's also within his power to lay that down in favour of the best interest of someone else. We all live like that and we've taught him by example and by practising those values in our household with one another. We've also always affirmed his positive character traits much more highly than any "accomplishment". We're not perfect and neither is he and there have also been infrequent occasions that we have all had our good nature "taken advantage of" but overall, it's still better than being one of the jerks that takes advantage. :flower3:
 
I think this is also something we could take away from the "new car for teens" thread the other day, too - that driving a beater for a while helps build the same type of character and humility. It's also the same principle behind volunteering in the community, working with animals, children, the elderly, etc. Giving of oneself in some way that takes the focus of the individual and puts it elsewhere.
YMMV
ITA! In our culture these days its all about ME ME ME so to be able to focus on others and not yourself is priceless. ::yes::
 

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