Hucifer does the solo thing sort of. Alone and going home, 9/21

[PrincessV]

And I could see fun just outside the window, gently tapping on the pane.

And this is why I'm not sure I could handle a conference at WDW. the temptation would be far too great; I'd surely get fired for ditching class to make rope drop!

The first thing we do as a group is wait for someone to take the lead. We sit at the table and smile at each other, looking for an Alpha personality to take over. The next thing we do is discuss who ISN’T going to be the one to brief our project.

So, so true, every time! I'll admit, I like being the leader. But NO ONE likes the person who wants that job right away. So I always wait it out, hoping someone else will nominate me.

“What does Toyota mean?”

“It means Oh what a feeling, Art.”

“Wait…since when does Mom charge for food?”

“How long have you been in Disney World?”

You know, I did notice that you ate a lot of vegetarian entrees on your TR (which, BTW, I'm still sorry that I didn't read it until it was over!) and I was wondering if you weren't vegetarian yourself. But then you mentioned eating a club sandwich.

So long as the meat doesn't resemble its previous owner in any way, and I don't have to handle it at all in teh cooking process, I'm generally okay. Good times around my house come Thanksgiving.

 

[onelilspark]

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one whose friends take them to Ed Debevics and don't tell them what it's all about...
We went my Freshman year in college, we're sitting there and the waiter is giving me such an attitude...I'm getting all fiery & fiesty, but I'm too polite to say anything (yet...but oooohhhhh boy I was getting there.) Then my friend lets out with, "I wonder how many people come here and don't know that they're supposed to be rude to you?" I stared at her with my mouth agape, "Uh me. You guys failed to tell ME that."

 

[NMAmy]

The first thing we do as a group is wait for someone to take the lead. We sit at the table and smile at each other, looking for an Alpha personality to take over.

Aargh. I always hate this. I'm not an Alpha personality but I do have a strong worker bee tendency so while everyone else is chatting, I'm usually the one roping people in to actually do the work and get it over with.

And then Art passes out prizes to team Red. Yes, prizes! And I’m all, hey if I had thought there would be monetary incentives for doing well, I would have tried harder. Or at least tried a little.

What kind of prizes? The quality of the prizes would have really had an impact on my efforts. I'm not knocking myself out for a stress ball or a key chain, ya know.

Which rather confused and befuddled me. Because, isn’t that why we’re all here? I mean, you seriously wouldn’t take this class if it were offered in the middle of Iowa, would you?

That is confusing and befuddling. I know fellow disneyphiles that will go to ANY kind of conference at WDW. You know, college professors who sign up for a transportation class--that kind of thing.

By now you’re wondering, “Hey, I thought you weren’t going to discuss this silly truck class. After all, your trip report isn’t entitled, The Things I Learned About Warehousing, or Disney, Trucking, and You. When are you getting back to the parks?” Well fear not, my loyal reader. There may be a point to all of this. So stop interrupting me.

I wasn't, I swear! I wasn't sure it could be done but you, my friend, have made a transportation class sound interesting. Well done!

Like dorks, we run full-speed to the tram, terrified that it will take off at any moment without us. We jump on and slam into our seats, panting like dogs, wiping the sweat off of our foreheads, and giving each other a relieved “we made it!” look. But we end up looking like total idiots because other people are nonchalantly walking up and getting on for the next eight minutes or so. We could have tiptoed to the tram and still made it. We could have read Obama’s entire health care plan in the car and still made it.

This is why I won't rent a car. Waiting for the tram seems just as time consuming as waiting for the bus--plus odds are that I won't get lost.

Cooper gives us the bill. I ask, “Wait…since when does Mom charge for food?”

“How long have you been in Disney World?” he replies.

Bravo! DD always orders chicken soup at Primetime because she's terrified of being picked on and I got tired of her shoving all her uneaten food onto my plate. However, on our last trip, our server made her finish her soup while he made airplane noises. She learned a valuable lesson--you can pour soup onto Mommy's plate and have anyone believe that she "stole" it from you.

 

[glennbo123]

The first thing we do as a group is wait for someone to take the lead. We sit at the table and smile at each other, looking for an Alpha personality to take over.

So true. I hate these awkward moments that occur in every training seminar.

But not one person I spoke to was extending their trip to enjoy the fruits of all Disney had to offer. In other words, they were here for transportation and distribution. Which rather confused and befuddled me. Because, isn’t that why we’re all here? I mean, you seriously wouldn’t take this class if it were offered in the middle of Iowa, would you?

This is incomprehensible!

There may be a point to all of this. So stop interrupting me.

Sorry. I'll stop! I don't know how that happened.

And speaking of trams, Jakie…there is one now! If we miss it, who knows how long we have to wait until the next one? And we have a reservation at Prime Time in twenty minutes and I know that seems like enough time, but trust me lady. It isn’t. RUUUUUNNN!

Like dorks, we run full-speed to the tram, terrified that it will take off at any moment without us. We jump on and slam into our seats, panting like dogs, wiping the sweat off of our foreheads, and giving each other a relieved “we made it!” look. But we end up looking like total idiots because other people are nonchalantly walking up and getting on for the next eight minutes or so. We could have tiptoed to the tram and still made it. We could have read Obama’s entire health care plan in the car and still made it.

Cooper gives us the bill. I ask, “Wait…since when does Mom charge for food?”

“How long have you been in Disney World?” he replies.

I never thought of asking this! (Probably because I knew the answer oh so well.)

 

[hucifer]

And this is why I'm not sure I could handle a conference at WDW. the temptation would be far too great; I'd surely get fired for ditching class to make rope drop!

Confusious once said...only strongest of character can endure a WDW conference. And boy, was he right.

So, so true, every time! I'll admit, I like being the leader. But NO ONE likes the person who wants that job right away. So I always wait it out, hoping someone else will nominate me.

So long as the meat doesn't resemble its previous owner in any way, and I don't have to handle it at all in teh cooking process, I'm generally okay. Good times around my house come Thanksgiving.

Interesting, V. You really are.

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one whose friends take them to Ed Debevics and don't tell them what it's all about...
We went my Freshman year in college, we're sitting there and the waiter is giving me such an attitude...I'm getting all fiery & fiesty, but I'm too polite to say anything (yet...but oooohhhhh boy I was getting there.) Then my friend lets out with, "I wonder how many people come here and don't know that they're supposed to be rude to you?" I stared at her with my mouth agape, "Uh me. You guys failed to tell ME that."

That sounds exactly like what happened to Jakie. Good thing your friend finally said something!

Aargh. I always hate this. I'm not an Alpha personality but I do have a strong worker bee tendency so while everyone else is chatting, I'm usually the one roping people in to actually do the work and get it over with.

So you're the token downer of groups.

What kind of prizes? The quality of the prizes would have really had an impact on my efforts. I'm not knocking myself out for a stress ball or a key chain, ya know.

The prizes were lame, of course. Think Georgia Tech merchandise. But it was about the glory of the win more than anything. And the ability to stick one's tongue out at the other groups.

That is confusing and befuddling. I know fellow disneyphiles that will go to ANY kind of conference at WDW. You know, college professors who sign up for a transportation class--that kind of thing.

Hey, the things we have to do for our jobs...it's just downright awful.

I wasn't, I swear! I wasn't sure it could be done but you, my friend, have made a transportation class sound interesting. Well done!

And I didn't even get to the GOOD part yet.

This is why I won't rent a car. Waiting for the tram seems just as time consuming as waiting for the bus--plus odds are that I won't get lost.

When it came down to it, after all the math and calculations and physics involved, I realized that having a car is actually better than Disney buses. I would rather deal with all we had to deal with than use the bus system.

However, the monorail...now that's just cool.

Bravo! DD always orders chicken soup at Primetime because she's terrified of being picked on and I got tired of her shoving all her uneaten food onto my plate. However, on our last trip, our server made her finish her soup while he made airplane noises. She learned a valuable lesson--you can pour soup onto Mommy's plate and have anyone believe that she "stole" it from you.

So...no soup for her.

Sorry, I had to say it.

 

[GreatBiscuit]

“Work” and “groups” are not two words I want to hear in the same sentence when I’m in Disney World.

Those are two words I don’t want to hear in the same sentence ANYWHERE.

But not one person I spoke to was extending their trip to enjoy the fruits of all Disney had to offer. In other words, they were here for transportation and distribution. Which rather confused and befuddled me. Because, isn’t that why we’re all here? I mean, you seriously wouldn’t take this class if it were offered in the middle of Iowa, would you?

Downright flabbergasting if you ask me.

The other thing Art was doing was passing out ping pong balls during class. Whenever he asked a question and someone got the answer right, he’d throw them a ball. I didn’t really have any need for a ping pong ball, but it became the quest of the class (raison d’etre, if you will) to obtain as many as you could for bragging rights. By the end of day one, Art passed out about 25 balls. Jakie didn’t have one. But I did. I answered this (sort of) transportation-related question:

I’ve often wondered just what goes on in the mind of your average corporate trainer.

“What does Toyota mean?”

“It means Oh what a feeling, Art.”

“Not exactly, but I like your answer. It means rich rice farmer.”

Like dorks, we run full-speed to the tram, terrified that it will take off at any moment without us. We jump on and slam into our seats, panting like dogs, wiping the sweat off of our foreheads, and giving each other a relieved “we made it!” look. But we end up looking like total idiots because other people are nonchalantly walking up and getting on for the next eight minutes or so. We could have tiptoed to the tram and still made it. We could have read Obama’s entire health care plan in the car and still made it.

Cooper gives us the bill. I ask, “Wait…since when does Mom charge for food?”

“How long have you been in Disney World?” he replies.

That is confusing and befuddling. I know fellow disneyphiles that will go to ANY kind of conference at WDW. You know, college professors who sign up for a transportation class--that kind of thing.

Dang Skippy. I’d go to a symposium on the history of lawn sprinklers if they held it at The World.

 

[hucifer]

So true. I hate these awkward moments that occur in every training seminar.

I guess the good news is, by the end of the week, we had so many of these fricking group projects that no one was shy about taking over anymore. Including me. AND I didn't talk Disney. I talked Transportation. That's right, I was talking the talk by Friday. I learned how to fake it so I could blend in with the other freaks.

This is incomprehensible!

I know...right?

Sorry. I'll stop! I don't know how that happened.

Don't make me put on my angry eyes, Glenn. Bo.

We really did look like idiots.

I never thought of asking this! (Probably because I knew the answer oh so well.)

I was hoping that he would have given a more clever answer than this. Like, "You owe mom for the vase you broke while playing ball in the house" or something.

 

[Cap'n Keel]

After lunch...after dinner...after breakfast...after snack...

So when do you do Disney? I'm full just reading.

 

[hucifer]

Those are two words I don’t want to hear in the same sentence ANYWHERE.

But ESPECIALLY in the home of the Mouse...and when you expect it to be sort of a blow-off class because of its location...and when you don't really care about the material so much.

Downright flabbergasting if you ask me.

They stunned me into silence. ME. ME!!!!!

I’ve often wondered just what goes on in the mind of your average corporate trainer.

He was actually a great instructor and I would love to take another class with him -- if I had to.

Dang Skippy. I’d go to a symposium on the history of lawn sprinklers if they held it at The World.

You're not whistling Dixie, GB.

...or are you?

Oh, and but...when is your next installment? Aren't you supposed to have like 2 updates a week or something?

So when do you do Disney? I'm full just reading.

A few days. You'll just have to hold on to your rum until then. And don't get anything on that puffy shirt of yours. I think you'll like Day 4, when Jakie and I meet up with some shady characters for dinner.

 

[A-Jay]

We are going to MGM tonight (I still call it that, so get used to it)

Me too. Same with the whole Port Orleans, Dixie Landings merger. And what is this Skyway Transit Authority thing? It's the People Mover! You think they would they would ask our permission before they go changing things around and confusing every one! No wonder you keep getting yourself lost.

 

[GreatBiscuit]

But ESPECIALLY in the home of the Mouse...and when you expect it to be sort of a blow-off class because of its location...and when you don't really care about the material so much.

Yeah, that would stinketh.

You're not whistling Dixie, GB.

...or are you?

I think it was the theme to Barnaby Jones actually.

Oh, and but...when is your next installment? Aren't you supposed to have like 2 updates a week or something?

Well....soon I hope. That whole twice a week thing worked great before there were photos involved. (Photobucket and I have this whole love/hate relationship...about 70% of the time I spend per episode involves resizing / uploading / inserting photos.) Hoping for an update soon though.

 

[norybell]

Hucifer! I'm back! I've missed you!

There has been an upside to my DIS hiatus, however...I got to read a gazillion hucifer updates all at once. Which makes for a pretty great morning.

(Did you notice that subtle kissing up I snuck in there?)

Truck Teacher Art then tells us that they have a special treat for us: after class they are giving each of us afternoon tickets for Epcot, which also includes a dessert reception and a special viewing area for Illuminations. He says that you don’t want to miss this nighttime show.

I dunno, sounds like a trap to me. Like maybe they've replaced the fireworks with a massive laser powerpoint presentation (they'll be sure to give you the identical handout, as well, in case the giant pie charts over the lagoon aren't clear enough for you. Also so you can take notes.). Or maybe they'll divide you into groups around the dessert tables, so you can come up with group plans about the distribution channels of pyrotechnics, or the trucking needs for a 350,000 lb globe (yes, I looked that up). I think you were right to be wary.

“Alright, tell you what. We’ll pick up the tickets, just in case, and continue with our plans for the evening. And after dinner, which by the way, I made reservations for weeks ago, we can see how the evening is going. If we decide then to ditch the other park, then we can hop on over to Epcot.”

Congratulations on your poise, your graceful flexibility under fire (with all this masterful kissing up, you've totally forgotten to give me a hard time about my update delay, haven't you?). I have to ask, though: were you twitching while you said this?

Hey, glad you stopped in, Amanda! If you're in the mood for more solo TR reading, do yourself a favor and read Norybell's TR too...she's hysterical!

Hey, thanks for the shout-out!

There were about five or six of us sitting around the table at lunchtime. I, with my customized culinary delight and they, with their mass-produced buffet food. Somehow, I know it’s crazy and all, but someone starts talking about Disney World and another one wonders aloud when Disney World had first opened—

“October 1971,” I blurt out, without even thinking.

Then, silence.

No one says a thing. Like I suddenly took the air out of the conversation. I felt like a party crasher who had no business showing up, like everyone was exchanging glances and mouthing, Who invited her? I felt like a true Disney geek…inside Disney World, no less. It was very odd.

“…or so I heard,” I mumbled, stuffing a mouthful of vegetable lasagna into my mouth and hoping the awkwardness of the moment would pass. I considered apologizing for my presence.

Eventually the conversation picked back up. More Disney chatter. Until someone says, “I heard they have tunnels under the parks.”

…Must bite lip. Must not speak…

But I cannot. No matter how silly or stupid or geeky or know-it-all I sound, I cannot let that statement just hang out there, dangling, taunting, and slightly inaccurate. This Disney information inside of me cannot be contained. I can’t help myself, it’s in my nature to correct and inform. Like I was a born teacher who never taught and was desperate to do so at any opportunity that came. And here it was, like a big present plopped down on my lap, all tied with a pretty bow.

“Well, actually…” I said, realizing I just opened the flood gates. “the Utilitors, as they’re called, we’re conceptualized before they even broke ground…” On and on I went, like I was the table’s own personal tour guide, spewing all kinds of information out at them for several minutes. I talked about the history of the Utilitors and how Walt’s personal experience with Disneyland employees from one land walking through another, and how the vision was destroyed for him. I talked about construction of the Utilitors, and how they built the park on the “second floor.” I talked about my own personal experience of walking down into the tunnels, and how easy it is to move from one land to another. “But of course, the Utilitors are only located at the Magic Kingdom, the other parks don’t have this forward-thinking method of employee transportation.” I was going 100 miles an hour and unable to stop, no matter how uninterested they all seemed. Their bored expressions were like a skunk on the road. The truck driver may see the little guy, but he’s still going to hit it. The truck driver has a mission, and that little smelly rodent isn’t going to get in its way. And when I was finally done…

Silence. Again.

“…or so I heard.” I repeated. I stuffed a piece of lasagna in my mouth and avoided eye contact with everyone around the table.

Awkward.

Well, if it were me, I would be all over that kind of information. I would be admiring this person with all their Disney wisdom and probably thanking them for bestowing all of their knowledge upon me. Apparently I wasn’t sitting around the table with a bunch of Hucifers because no one else had the World’s Best Vegetarian Lasagna sitting in front of them, and no one was thanking me for sharing my Disney encyclopedia with the world. Perhaps they were thinking, “If only she put that kind of enthusiasm into the transportation class.”​

Maybe if you'd've put all this info in a huge binder, they would've been more receptive?

Fantasy scenario: Hucifer regales her fellow transportation-philes with the fascinating story of the Utilitors. Art Vandalay overhears, and immediately recognizes that he is no match for her. Her description of the inner workings of the World are so riveting, everyone intrinsically understands that Disney World is, in the end, much more important -- nay, much more essential -- than transportation. Amid much applause, he hands over the podium, and the class becomes Disney 101. A Disney exec passes by, and is so impressed he offers you a high-paying job that enables you to (a) work very little; and (b) visit WDW multiple times a year, all on the expense account.

I guess that would be the sort of thing I'd be thinking about. If I were in a transportation class at Disney.

I'm sure there are lots of jobs where that skill is necessary. Like a church bouncer. Or a librarian.

After lunch, it was back to the exciting conclusion of Day One’s truck lecture. Soon Art is doing that Crazy Talk again and says that it’s time to get to work and break off into groups. “Work” and “groups” are not two words I want to hear in the same sentence when I’m in Disney World. He counts us off (“One, two, three, four, five, one, two, three…”) and I’m feeling like Molly Ringwald in The Breakfast Club as I gesture over to Emilio Estaban (Jakie), nonverbally telling Art to put us in the same group. But teacher does the count all wrong and we end up in separate teams. After being assigned a group number and color, we all trek over to another room so that we can put our collective heads together and come up with something brilliant to share with the rest of the class. Like I said, this was real work we had to do. And I could see fun just outside the window, gently tapping on the pane.

Now that Obama's president, aren't we supposed to be anti-torture? Why did they do this to you? Why do corporate work environments insist that we're still in high school? If they're going to do that, they should at the very least give us summers off.

The other thing Art was doing was passing out ping pong balls during class. Whenever he asked a question and someone got the answer right, he’d throw them a ball. I didn’t really have any need for a ping pong ball, but it became the quest of the class (raison d’etre, if you will) to obtain as many as you could for bragging rights. By the end of day one, Art passed out about 25 balls. Jakie didn’t have one. But I did.

I don't suppose you kept track of how many times, through the rest of the class, you considered throwing that ping pong ball at someone? Did you have a person who kept asking questions at the end, when Art asked if there were any questions, and everyone else was smart enough to keep their mouths closed in the hopes of escaping the class ASAP, except for that one annoying question asker? Because in my experience, those people make the perfect targets.​

 

[hucifer]

Me too. Same with the whole Port Orleans, Dixie Landings merger. And what is this Skyway Transit Authority thing? It's the People Mover! You think they would they would ask our permission before they go changing things around and confusing every one! No wonder you keep getting yourself lost.

I still call Shades of Green the Golf Resort. Okay, not really.
And we kept getting lost because we're chicks. Plain and simple.

Well....soon I hope. That whole twice a week thing worked great before there were photos involved. (Photobucket and I have this whole love/hate relationship...about 70% of the time I spend per episode involves resizing / uploading / inserting photos.) Hoping for an update soon though.

Still waiting. (But it's worth the wait!)

Hucifer! I'm back! I've missed you!

Girl, I am SO glad you're back. And it was another HIGH-larious update too, I might add.

There has been an upside to my DIS hiatus, however...I got to read a gazillion hucifer updates all at once. Which makes for a pretty great morning. (Did you notice that subtle kissing up I snuck in there?)

Suck away. Oh wait, that didn't sound right...

I dunno, sounds like a trap to me. Like maybe they've replaced the fireworks with a massive laser powerpoint presentation (they'll be sure to give you the identical handout, as well, in case the giant pie charts over the lagoon aren't clear enough for you. Also so you can take notes.). Or maybe they'll divide you into groups around the dessert tables, so you can come up with group plans about the distribution channels of pyrotechnics, or the trucking needs for a 350,000 lb globe (yes, I looked that up). I think you were right to be wary.

Most impressive research skills you have there. And I'm sure that if you would have given the teacher these awesome transportation-related activities, he would have wet himself with excitement. Fortunately, you weren't around.

Congratulations on your poise, your graceful flexibility under fire (with all this masterful kissing up, you've totally forgotten to give me a hard time about my update delay, haven't you?). I have to ask, though: were you twitching while you said this?

Surprisingly, no. And all is forgiven on your delay since it was such a long, photo-filled, well-written, and witty one.

Hey, thanks for the shout-out!

Just doing my part to make sure as many people as possible know the glory and wonder that is Nory's prose.

Maybe if you'd've put all this info in a huge binder, they would've been more receptive?

You're on to something!

Fantasy scenario: Hucifer regales her fellow transportation-philes with the fascinating story of the Utilitors. Art Vandalay overhears, and immediately recognizes that he is no match for her. Her description of the inner workings of the World are so riveting, everyone intrinsically understands that Disney World is, in the end, much more important -- nay, much more essential -- than transportation. Amid much applause, he hands over the podium, and the class becomes Disney 101. A Disney exec passes by, and is so impressed he offers you a high-paying job that enables you to (a) work very little; and (b) visit WDW multiple times a year, all on the expense account.

I guess that would be the sort of thing I'd be thinking about. If I were in a transportation class at Disney.

No, no...I like it! I like it! That's one heck of a fantasy!

I don't suppose you kept track of how many times, through the rest of the class, you considered throwing that ping pong ball at someone? Did you have a person who kept asking questions at the end, when Art asked if there were any questions, and everyone else was smart enough to keep their mouths closed in the hopes of escaping the class ASAP, except for that one annoying question asker? Because in my experience, those people make the perfect targets.

There were a few nutballs in that class that should have been hit in the head. Problem is, ping pong balls don't hurt.

 

[hucifer]

We don’t have a lot of time until park closes, but I planned on hitting an attraction or two before seeing Fantasmic. I notice that the Great Movie ride is like a 40-minute wait, so we get in line. This isn’t a favorite of mine, but it was a relatively short line, and it’s a great taste of what this park is all about. We were in line for about five minutes when I get a text message. It’s from my boss.

At this point I need to clarify things. It wasn’t my immediate supervisor that I needed to sweet-talk into taking this truck class, it was HIS boss that I needed to convince. My immediate supervisor (who we shall call Tim) actually encouraged me to take this class. Not only for the perks, but because it ultimately would benefit my career. Now I also should mention that Dan and I have hung out with Tim and his wife (who we shall call Marie) on several occasions, so we also have a personal relationship. In fact, Tim does photography as a side job and he is the one responsible for the adorable pictures of Patrick in my signature. He also took this photo of our family:

Yes, I really AM that gorgeous in real life.​

I have to say that Tim is one of the best people I have ever known in my whole life. I should also inform you that he is reading this thread.

Now get this…Tim and Marie happened to be vacationing with their family in Orlando during that same week. They were hitting Disney World and other various tourist destinations in the area. Seriously, what were the odds of that happening?

So Tim sends me a text. He informs me that, because of the limited days that Fantasmic is showing, the theatre fills up a good hour or more before the show starts. I look at my watch. Then I look at Jakie. “Alright,” I say. “you have a couple of options and I’m going to leave the decision totally up to you. After this attraction is over, we can either stay here in this park and hit a few more rides before seeing the show, or we can hop over to Epcot and see the nighttime show over there.”

Jakie asked me what I thought. I told her the decision was completely hers. I said that both shows were spectacular, but for this one we were like all the other yahoos in the park and had to wait a good hour or more for it to begin; at the other we would be treated like the queens we are: with our own dessert reception and private viewing area. Jakie, being the first-class-all-the-way woman that she is, had quickly decided that Epcot was the way to go. Part of me was hoping she would choose that one, but I truly wanted her to make the call.

After the Great Movie Ride is over, she says, “I liked that ride.” Which is funny to me. I personally find it to be an unimaginative and dull attraction, and I believe Disney can do way better than that. But that’s just me, apparently. We tram it back to our vehicle and find our car relatively error-free. I drive across the street and go right back to the Boardwalk. “We’re here to check out the resort,” I say to the guard, crossing my fingers behind my back. And then we park the car and walk down to the boardwalk.

Turns out, despite all the angry looks and whispering you purists are doing (yes, I can hear you, you’re not that quiet), parking at the Boardwalk was the best move. We walked to the International Gateway and saw Michelle there, smiling at us and being just as pleasant as she is in class. Although we had our Epcot passes, our Rose and Crown location changed due to weather concerns, so running into her was the ideal situation. An elderly cast member named Joe was standing next to her; he was our personal assistant for the evening and was responsible for bringing the group to the dessert and private viewing area. In case of rain, an undercover area was reserved. If the evening was clear, this gentleman would lead us to the outside area. A few minutes later Art shows up, and one or two others from class is there. I started to wonder just how private an affair this would be since there were only six of us so far.

Joe is holding a light saber-looking, airport guide stick light up thing. So, in case of blackout conditions inside the park, we wouldn’t lose him. Once we determined that none of the others were coming, Joe gathers us up and leads us through a swing gate, light saber leading the way. One by one we walk through the gate. Once we were all inside Epcot and following Joe through the maze of drunk tourists, Jakie whispers, “He didn’t swipe our tickets.” Which meant Joe just gave us one more day of afternoon park fun for free. Sweet.

Like drugged rats, we follow the pied piper and his beacon of light through World Showcase, picking up stray classmates along the way. How they found us, I’ll never know…oh wait. They may have been drawn to Joe’s light like tired moths to a bug zapper. It was good news for them that they bumped into us because originally we were supposed to meet at the Rose and Crown. However, rain was in the forecast so they moved us to the Norwary pavilion. We circled World Showcase along the bottom half, passing England, Canada, and Mexico. Despite his age, Joe is clipping around the park at a pretty good pace. For park contenders like myself, there was no issue keeping up. But some of those who were not so accustomed to the Commando Park Walk or even to Disney itself, those were the souls who were struggling to keep up. And Joe had to constantly turn around and monitor the progress of his flock, which wasn’t easy in these blistering EMH crowd conditions.

Joe leads us inside Norway, past the Maelstrom Fastpass machines and through a door marked Private. We follow the light saber up a flight of stairs and on the second floor. Which opened up to a lobby filled with sugar-laden sweets and treats. Kind of like a mini version of the Chocolate Room in Wonka’s chocolate factory where everything was eatable, or edible. Of course, if you lick the doorknobs here, I can’t guarantee they will taste like cherry…or that you won’t catch some incurable virus.

Just a few of many sugar-laden treats available to us.

Eat up, Jakie. Yum yum!​

Some four pounds of sugar later, we are rolled away from Candy Land and led by light back outside. Apparently the weather feels like cooperating tonight and we have a private viewing area in Italy. Which is halfway across this humungous lagoon and Illuminations is set to start in ten minutes. Now I, Park Commando Extraordinaire, would have absolutely no issue hauling butt to Italy in this timeframe. That is, if I was alone. But when Joe has the tremendous responsibility of leading a group of Disney rookies through the crowds with only a poorly lit stick, we just added several minutes to our trek. Joe grossly underestimated the time it would take these slowpokes to walk around the park. Sigh. I’m like Woody Allen (well, except for the whole sleeping-with-my-step-daughter part): I hate being late to a movie and I hate missing the beginning of a Disney show. I’d almost rather skip it and wait until I can see it in its entirety. And wouldn’t you know it: Illuminations starts when we’re barely at the American pavilion. So I’m trying to watch the show while walking through crowds of people and trying not to walk into people. Not easy to do. I don’t recommend it.

Our private viewing area is perfect. We get to it about three minutes into the show, so it wasn’t too bad. I make sure that Jakie has a great view. Ahh…I love Illuminations. When the quiet portion in the middle begins, we hear a hush in the crowd behind us, then clapping. I knew immediately what happened: someone was just proposed to. A few minutes later someone from class walks up to us and says, “These people over there got engaged.” And I was all, “Duh.”

Illumination ends and I’m all weepy and happy. Jakie said she liked it, but I could tell that it didn’t impact her as much as I thought it would. We seem to be enjoying different aspects of this place. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. We’re just not coming together on a lot of it, is all.

We walked back down to the International Gateway when I realized that we had walked literally all the way around World Showcase tonight. It really symbolized all the driving we’ve been doing lately. Like World Showcase was a microcosm of Disney World itself. It’d be kinda funny if it wasn’t so damn sad.

Another long day behind us, we walked back to the car and successfully made it to the hotel without getting lost. I didn’t even ask the guard where I needed to park. Jakie even remembered how to spell her last name.



Coming up: Day 3: How to keep everyone awake in a transportation class, even if that’s the reason they came to Disney World.

 

[onelilspark]

My theory: it didn't impact her because she didn't see it in it's entirety.

Apparently we had a Zone Meeting at Disney 3 months before I started. It kills me to know this. People talk and say "we ate at this place that had floor to ceiling aquariums..." "You mean Coral Reef." "Yeah, I think that's it..." *sigh* Since I've started we've been to Newark and Atlantic City. I got jipped. Apparently our Zone Director didn't realize what it would cost...that's because he didn't have me on the team yet! Honestly.

 

[littlelulu33]

Shouldn't you be working? Put that class to use.

 

[glennbo123]

I have to say that Tim is one of the best people I have ever known in my whole life. I should also inform you that he is reading this thread.

Enough said.

Once we were all inside Epcot and following Joe through the maze of drunk tourists, Jakie whispers, “He didn’t swipe our tickets.” Which meant Joe just gave us one more day of afternoon park fun for free. Sweet.

Hey, she's catching on, isn't she!?

We walked back down to the International Gateway when I realized that we had walked literally all the way around World Showcase tonight. It really symbolized all the driving we’ve been doing lately. Like World Showcase was a microcosm of Disney World itself. It’d be kinda funny if it wasn’t so damn sad.

I can't believe they made your whole group walk all the way around the World Showcase.

 

[glennbo123]

Shouldn't you be working? Put that class to use.

Tim, I presume? littlelulu33 is a strange screenname for a "Tim", but okay.

 

[DISUNC]

Disunc! I'm so happy to see you back here! You have some catching up to do.

I know! I know! between stoopid putting up christmas decorations till i looks just like Santa threw up....then celebrating the Holdiays in STYLE ...and then Dechristmasizing the Lower north Pole....Then back to crazy stoopid work....When does a guy get a chance to catch up on Trip Reports?

I am lost think I might just start over.

I only posted Dan's because his was already in the computer. I would have to find and drag out a Hucifer picture, scan it, blah blah...you get the idea. Too much work.

it is! Especially if you have to lean over to the scanner! Whadda pain!

IWhat a cutie! But sorry, Patrick already has his eye on Megan in his daycare class. Will let you know if Megan falls from his graces.]

Ok She is playin the field at this stage ...so we will just keep things 'penciled in". She just wants a boy who will listen to everything she tells him to do, then take a good hit in the head with her Tinkerbell pocketbook!

 

[DISUNC]

So the couple take the walk of shame onto the monorail with the rest of steerage and I quietly thank them for taking the hit for me.

Did Ja do one of these…..

?

I realize this was a mere week since the fatal monorail crash, but we honestly didn’t know that they stopped guests from riding up front.

Someone didn’t do their mandatory DisBoard Homework before they left home?

I really wanted Jakie to get immersed in the Disney feel during the ride over. Okay, I really just wanted her to hear the monorail spiel. But the monorail was packed that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. And that meant that the only thing we could hear was some sexy monorail dude mumbling something about celebrating something. Yes, he’s sexy to me. Because when I hear that voice, it means I’m in the happiest place in the world. And I mean world-world, not just Disney world. So anyway, we couldn’t hear the spiel and I’m bummed that she couldn’t really experience the monorail the way it was meant to be experienced.

A REAL Diser

would have recreated the “spiel” using the same tone & inflection of said "Sexy Monorail Spieler Man.".... Just sayin!

This isn’t my first time taking a newbie…..
So Jakie was no different. Heck, she had an even greater disadvantage than Dan…she had no clue what to expect, while Dan did. I guess she expected Disney World to be like a big amusement park, full of Tilt-O-Whirls, corn dog stands, and Guess Your Weight games. Before the trip I told her that WDW is about story, details, and theme, but I guess she really didn’t understand what it was about. So in we went…

That was so nice of you too take this poor, yet humble foreign farm girl out of her oppressive American cubicle and show her what this country is REALLY all about. You are like a WDW American Ambassador or sumtin.

Sidenote: I know you are thinking as you read this…”Yes I am! I wonder if Disney sells a personalized Pin just for me?”

…yikes. The people. The lines. Holy crap. …

BTDT! In 2008 I was there on the 4th of July! No words to describe it.

But I understand what a Lobster goes thru when thrown in the pot!

And I was so wrapped up in an emotional tide of joy that these outside things stopped bothering me all at once. I watched the parade, heard the children, and began to cry, thinking about bringing our Patrick here for the first time. …

Is this the same Patrick that just that very morning you left screaming in his crib "On Purpose"? That Patrick?

Jakie, sooooo excited to be in WDW with the Best Tour Guide Ever​

…

HOT! Both figuratively & literally! Tell us more about JaKie!

I turn back to Jakie and shrug. Looks like I have to get used to those waiting time numbers. So we get in the back of the IASW line. …

One does tend to submit rather easily in WDW.

Okay, I always hate to be bothered when experiencing something for the first time, so I did not bombard her with “what do you think? Do you like this?” kind of questions at all. I figured that when she was moved enough to share something that she would. Standing in line I was itching to peg questions at her: What do you think of Magic Kingdom? How do you like the themes around here? Is this what you expected? How are you handling this ungodly heat? Am I the best tour guide ever or what?

But I wait in line, silent. …

I woulda never thunk it! YOU…SILENT…ABOUT DISNEY…While Onsite in D I S N E Y!

has Motherhood 'matured" you...or was it just too damn HOT?

Can you feel the anticipation building?​

…

YES YES YES!

Well, she didn’t comment on the ride, but she did ask me if it was one of my favorites. …

Well nobody is perfect…no matter how close to perfection their pic is!

Now the line is maybe three people long, but Disney Dining Plans make a typically simple transaction (like buying an ice cream bar) into a complicated and bureaucratic ordeal (like buying a mortgage). So, while we’re mere inches from the counter, we’re hours from buying anything. Standing in line, I can see the Mansion line steadily growing and growing while the dolts in front of us are arguing with the cashier about snack credits and filling out mounds of paperwork. Jakie turned to me at one point and asked, “How long does it take to buy ice cream?” …

You mean DDP is sorta like the Government getting involved????

Jakie and I don’t do much chatting in line, and after a few moments I turn to her and I find out why she’s so quiet. The Mickey bar is nothing but a nub on a stick. This sweet, delicate creature has devoured that Mickey head like it a Florida gnat to a Jakie leg. I must have had a look on my face because she said between chomps, “What? It’s melting so I have to eat it quickly.” And eat it she did. …

I think I just fell in Love!

I believe it was the late great Ella Fitzgerald who coined the phrase (or at least sang it) “What is this thing called love?” Or was that Benny Hill, the late British comedian? I always get those two confused.* …

Queen!!!

After Haunted Mansion (which still rocks my world), Jakie’s says, “That was cute.” Cute? CUTE??? That is a classic, Jaklina. You don’t call classics “cute.” Okay, maybe it’s no longer the technological wonder it was forty years ago, but it still kicks major butt in today’s society. So you better think about that adjective a little harder, chickie, and get back to me when you found a better word to describe one of my favorites. …

I could change her!

Oh she definitely reached enlightenment when we walked right up to the boats and saw that the other line was chock-full of bleating mammals. Only the wisest and most mature leaders would let the visuals speak for themselves, but I’m neither. I was only too eager to point out the errors of her suggestion.
“You see that horrendous line over there? Had we taken your suggestion, we’d be knee-deep in sheep crap right about now. Was I right or was I right? No, seriously. Wasn’t I spot-on about that one? Get used to that. Just remember that I’m the brains of this operation, sweetie.” …

So far your FINEST moment!

Famous last words. …

UhOh!