Hubby support problem

[teachingmykids]

Am I crazy? 2 years ago I worked very hard and lost 52#, I was 4 pounds from my personal goal. I've spent the past year putting almost all of it back on. When I was close to my goal, my DH starting saying things like, "Looking good for your boyfriend?" "Now that you're hot are you going to leave me?" I have been married for 24 years -- he's never said ANYTHING like that before. I'm pretty sure he was trying to complement/flatter me, but just didn't know how. He's secure and this was VERY out of character for him.

DD & I went to WDW for a week and I put on about 5#, after that I just let it all go. He stopped saying those things and everything is back to normal -- except I have to lose 40 again. I think I'll be a little better prepared this time, but I'd like to hear if anyone else has experienced this and how you handled it.
It's very embarrassing, people want to know what happened since I was doing so well. I've thought long and hard and really believe I LET myself gain it back to avoid the uncomfortable situations that I wasn't prepared to handle.
Advice and encouragement, PLEASE

 

[Tiger Lily 03]

Congratulations to you to realize you want to get back to being a healthier you!

So sorry that you went through this. I have not personally faced exactly what you have, but in some ways it is still difficult. The most difficult part after having gone throug all that work is to maintain the loss. I see this in our family as well as those of friends where the support is not really always there. The success lies in the person. Those who have become most determined become that success story. I have said to those around me that I just cannot do as I had in the past. It is not healthy for me and I need to be healthyand make those healthy choices.

I tried responding that I am doing it for me first to feel better and then for him in order that I would be better able take care of him if he should need.

I still respond that I am doing it becaue I NEED to feel better and healthier and am trying to remain committed to this. Even that the support is not always there, sometimes I feel lonely about it, I fall away at times, I still keep on keepin' on. It has gotten to be a bit of an easier routine with time.

Good luck to you and keep on keepin' on.

Thunder, thunder, THUNDERATION!
We're the WISH Group delegation.
When we move with determination,
We create a GREAT sensation!

 

[pearlieq]

The quickest way to get this to stop is to confront him. Change makes people uncomfortable, and consciously or not, he might be trying to derail your progress. Perhaps the changes you made forced him to take a look at choices he's made that he's disappointed with or things he'd like to change about himself. Maybe he's afraid that you won't be the same person and that you won't be able to share rituals (movies w/candy & popcorn, Friday night pizza & beer, etc) he used to enjoy. Maybe deep down he is uncomfortable with the extra attention you got when you were confident about your looks.

In my opinion, you're going to need to be pretty firm and frank with him. Tell him in no uncertain terms that you expect his support and want these backhanded "compliments" and comments to stop. Explain that the choices you make for your body are for YOUR benefit, and that's reason enough. Explain to him how hurtful it is to not have him share in your joy. Maybe suggest ways he could express his appreciation that you would enjoy.

Whether you tolerate this or not is up to you. You're more than entitled to stand up for yourself and your accomplishments.

Best of luck to you!

 

[teachingmykids]

Thank you so much. I DO deserve to feel good. So......... here I go again! I'll try to nip it in the bud as soon as it starts. Plus, it may NOT start since we've been thru it once already.
Thanks again!