HS son wants to quit football?

[Tiggeroo]

My son after years of bugging me started to play football in hs.He played freshman year and jv in sophomore year. I volunteered for the booster club and am now the secretary. Now he wants to quit. It seems so odd. He really was having a good time. Part of it is he doesn't have enough confidence. He is competing against kids who have been playing since they were 5yo. But, while he's not outstanding, he's a good solid player that got play time. This son's personality is that he's not very outgoing. He frequently needs to be nudged into doing things, even things he likes, then he has a good time. The times when I have not nudged him, he says, mom I wish you had gotten me to do so and so. I really feel that if he quits he will regret this alot. Because he doesn't have alot of years behind him in football, quitting now will mean he won't be able to play again. It is doubtful that if he took a year off he could play senior year.
And in my house I have a rule that you be involved in something during the school year. It can be a sport, clubs, newpaper, I don't care what, although I prefer my son to be in a sport because he is a high energy kid. Also, he wrestles and this he won't quit and his coach wants him to do a fall sport so he comes into wrestling in good shape. Most wrestlers play football. he has decided to do cross-country instead of football. Not because he wants to but because he needs to do something for wrestling. The thing is, he hates running. And his twin brother does cross-country and the two boys are very competitive. This sounds like a recipe for disaster, and more fights between the two of them. I love my son, but sometimes I don't understand him. It almost seems like a form of rebellion. He knows I think football is a good fit for him, and sometimes he just likes to irk me, so he's not going to do football. The thing is, I'm not a big football fan. I don't understand it, and never watch it on tv. I went to the hs games just because my son was there. I cheered for him, because he is my son and I love him. Aargh.

 

[Itsanalias]

He will regret it if he quits. I didn't play my junior year and I still regret it.......17 years later.

 

[Kitty 34]

My DS is on Day Three of football practice. He will be a Junior this year and has NEVER played the sport!!! I wonder how long he will last......he likes it so far but he's so-o-o-o tired!!

 

[Tiggeroo]

Itsanalias, what do I do as a mom. I could force him to stick with it for a month. By that point he will remember that he really loves it. But I have visions of me making him play and him getting hurt or something. It is time consuming, with practices, weight room time, etc. And the thing is you only have this one time in your life. He definitely isn't good enough to play college ball, unless he goes to a very small school
Just out of curiousity, why didn't you play Junior year. I can't imagine why he would think of quitting now.

 

[ListenToCKY]

I played in 7th and 8th grade and I only played one year in the little league. I wasn't excellent, but I did good. One year, we were hitting and I fired off the ball and hit good against one kid. Coach thought I could hit awesome and put me up against a huge guy who was a bus. I was leary when getting in my stance and ended up getting my wrist fractured. I came back the next year and played because I had fun. I haven't and won't play in high school because I'm an uber crappy player.

Let him quit if he wants, but remind him of what might come along with it.

I know this is of no help..

 

[poohandwendy]

It's a tough thing but at his age he needs to make his own decisions, even if they are mistakes. Prodding and pushing will not help him when he is an adult in a few short years and won't have you to push and prod. We learn the most from the mistakes we make. I would leave it up to him and be there for him if/when he asks for help.

 

[Itsanalias]

Originally posted by Tiggeroo
Itsanalias, what do I do as a mom. I could force him to stick with it for a month. By that point he will remember that he really loves it. But I have visions of me making him play and him getting hurt or something. It is time consuming, with practices, weight room time, etc. And the thing is you only have this one time in your life. He definitely isn't good enough to play college ball, unless he goes to a very small school
Just out of curiousity, why didn't you play Junior year. I can't imagine why he would think of quitting now.

The only thing you can do is try to explain to him why he should stick with it. I don't know your son, but most teens don't understand what life will be like after high school is over. I didn't play b/c I wanted to get a job to have some money. Are you sure there isn't something bigger than him "not having confidence" holding him back? I mean did he have a run in with another player or a coach on his back or something?

 

[caitycaity]

It's a tough thing but at his age he needs to make his own decisions, even if they are mistakes.

i agree.

and to offer a perspective other than itsanalias's, i quit something that i was very active in my junior year of high school, and it was the right decision for me. my parents were upset, but hey, you don't live life to please your parents, right?

 

[wdwnutze]

My ds quit playing hockey in his Jr year after playing from the age of 3. He was 1st line and was a very good player. It nearly broke my heart! I tried to make him stick with it but after some thought I realized I couldn't make him play. He joined wrestling, which he loved and did cross country in the fall. The cross country put him in great shape for wrestling. The competitve thing with your sons is, I think, a natural sibling thing. Cross country is full of individual accomplishments. Maybe it is something they can train for together. Good luck!

 

[Tiggeroo]

Are you sure there isn't something bigger than him "not having confidence" holding him back? I mean did he have a run in with another player or a coach on his back or something?

That's what I was worried about. It seemed so odd for him. I talked to a few of his coaches, and had a chat with son. Told him he didn't even have to tell me what it was. If there was a personal reason for quitting I would understand. He just said, nope, I don't like football anymore. I think it's partly about wanting to have more time to hang out. Also, he surfs, and I think some of his surfing friends call him a meat-head for doing football. Among the surfing crowd football isn't a cool sport apparently.

It's a tough thing but at his age he needs to make his own decisions, even if they are mistakes. Prodding and pushing will not help him when he is an adult in a few short years and won't have you to push and prod.

I know. I'm forcing myself to back off on it. It's not like I'm a football dad or anything. I don't want him to do it cause I like it. I don't. I just see the hs football thing as, well a hs thing. The team gets pizza dinners on Friday, breakfasts on Saturday games, they have a great banquet with great end of the year encouragement for the boys. They emphasize accademics, and all but one award is academic based. I think it's sad because he'll never get these years back.
I'm also dreading a year of both of my sons on the same sports team. Especially since one of them runs all of the time and has been doing it for years. He really will be much better at it. And although they're twins, the running son weighs 120lbs on a good day. The other son has five inches and 35lbs on his twin. Football is much more his sport.

 

[ToyStory Fan]

I quit football going into my junior year too, I regret not playing more for the comradery and friendships (football summer sessions makes you a family).

For me the reason was twofold, I wasn't very confident in myself as a player (I was on the small side) against the much bigger varsity level players (I played QB and at times couldn't really see over my offensive line), and I wanted to focus more on hockey (Sr year I was named team Capt)

My parents were actually concerned (more for my safety) about me playing both sports because of the extreme physical demands. I'd say you are in a tough spot because you don't really know his motives for quitting. The other thing is, if he really enjoys wrestling maybe he's gotten shaken up at a practice or two and is worried about getting injured and ruining his wrestling ability.

 

[4greatboys]

My ds quit football after playing 3 years. First of all I dont how he practiced in this Texas heat--I never could have. He played 7, 8 and 9th grade and now going into his sophomore year he doesnt want to play anymore. He is the oen that has to do all the work so I leave it up to him to play or not, allthough I do like to have him involved in atleast 1 school ativity--sports or student council or something.
My ds does love to play te guitar and is trying to get his band started so Im sure thats part of it. Another part of it could be our town has grown so much we have enough kids for 3 football teams for each grade level so you dont get a lot of playing time.
Good luck to your ds!

 

[Tiggeroo]

The reason he didn't do football when he was younger was because of hockey. I suspect the reason he doesn't want to do it is something he won't confide in me, and probably even less to dad. It's probably some kind of macho guy thing. Also he is 5'11'' and weighs 155lbs. He feels like this is kind of small against the varsity guys, and that he'll never make varsity. But his coach has nothing but praise for him. Says he always gives his all, and just keeps going back for more. He's surprised too.
With wrestling, he has a varsity spot. But that could change any time. You never know who is going to come in at your weight class and how good they are going to be.
I hated this year of varsity wrestling. It was a constant stuggle with the weigh ins. And the practices were grueling. He would fight to make weight, make it, go to the meet. Then he'd come home eat what he wanted til Wed. then the whole thing would start over again. And he's a growing kid. I hated the whole sport, but once again went to his meets, volunteered and cheered for him, cause he's my kid. Of the two, football seemed to promote a much healthier atmosphere.