How you do get past this?

[tkhkroberts]

For those of you who have gone to WDW without your kids, how do you get past the guilt. We have a trip planned for the whole family in October, but my DH and I were thinking of going the last week of May as well. This would be a quick trip for a joint anniversary and my graduation from college celebration. The kids are still in school and it is their last week, so I can't pull them out for this and we can't delay until they are out because I start my new job then. How do you handle the guilt?

 

[3princesses+aprince]

I might feel alittle guilty, especially while being there, thinking how my kids would be enjoying themselves. But don't feel too guilty. Like you said your taking the kids in Oct., this trip would be for just you and your husband, there's nothing wrong with that.

 

[MiniGirl]

For those of you who have gone to WDW without your kids, how do you get past the guilt. We have a trip planned for the whole family in October, but my DH and I were thinking of going the last week of May as well. This would be a quick trip for a joint anniversary and my graduation from college celebration. The kids are still in school and it is their last week, so I can't pull them out for this and we can't delay until they are out because I start my new job then. How do you handle the guilt?

There is no reason for you to feel guilty. In fact, the best thing you can do for your children is nourish the relationship with your husband. Ya'll need time to come together as adults and have a good time. I know when we go to WDW as a family I often don't get to ride anything with my dh because I'll have one dd with me and he'll have the other with him. It is fun to be able to sit with him and walk next to him, etc.

 

[lindsmom]

Think of it as getting YOUR disney fix (i.e. Epcot drinks, Space Mountain, sleeping in) out of your system so you'll be happier for your family when you have to stand in line for Dumbo for 50 minutes

You're ultimately just looking out for the happiness of the group in October.

 

[ChristusG]

Time alone with your husband is what keeps a healthy family relationship. Sometimes you just need some husband/wife time. You have a family trip planned for October, so the kids will get their Disney fix then. Like someone else mentioned, go and do all the things you wouldnt do if you had the kids with you.

That being said, I've never left my kids yet though. They are only 3 and 13 months....so I dont think I will leave them for a little while yet.

 

[eeyorefan74]

Trust me, once you're there, there will be no guilt! I went without DD last September, and felt bad, but only until I got there. I had such a great, relaxing time doing all the grown up stuff she's not interested in. No long lines for autographs, inconvenient bathroom stops, strollers, etc. It was wonderful! DD didn't even know I was going to Disney until after I got back, and then she had no problem with it because she's been before and knew she would be going again soon. We took her in January and had a great trip, although entirely different from an adult trip. I say go and have a great, guiltfree time!

 

[Steve's Girl]

DH and I did this for our 10th anniversary last year. I felt awful the first morning. I cried on the bus all the way to the park when I saw all the other kids. But once I got to the first park I was fine the rest of the time.

 

[MichelleVW]

Guilt?? What Guilt??? Nah...when we went without the kids I thought a few time, "oh, the kids would like that", but they go enough that they aren't missing anything!!

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

DH and I go away almost every year by ourselves. Sometimes to the beach, sometimes WDW.

The thing is we always plan the kids trip first, then and only then if we have extra money do DH and I go somewhere alone. Thats why I don't feel guilty. The kids have their vacation, then DH and I have ours also.

Last year, we built a new house and on Monday DH starts a new job , we are taking the kids to WDW in October. DH and I can't do a trip by ourselves this year.

We would never begrudge the kids their vacation so DH and I could do one ourselves, but thats just us.

Your kids will have their vacation too, you and your husband go and have a great time!

 

[wdwgypsy]

Maybe it was more than a dozen trips with them over the years vs. the 1 we took alone.

Tried pawning DD off on G'parents the last time but she wouldn't take the bait

I agree with some of the others on here using it to help strenghten the marriage relationship is nothing to feel guilty about. Too often we get caught up in making the money to pay the bills and taking care of the kids, getting them off to school and activities that husbands and wives end up having conversations via e-mail, message board, or cell phone instead of the ones you had face to face to built that relationship to begin with.

I don't know how long it's been since you and your spouse have had any good alone time but don't be surprised if there are a few awkward silences in there at the begining. Time to get in there and revisit those old habits pre kids. Make a rule no talk about the kids (except well being of course) no school stuff, no activities, no problems until you start home.

Take this time to enjoy yourself and revisit those old ideas and goals. Find those things you had in common before and things you like together now. You both will find some things have most likely change. Once you get that old fire going there are some great places around the Enchanted castle that you can slide out of the general view for some D kisses. Just keep in mind it's never private in the parks until you close that room door


**************************************************************************
You don't need a WDW vacation for that either. Having a "date" night once a month or more can help as well.

 

[Not so Dumbo]

I thought I would miss them, and I did... for the first few minutes.
It was nice not having to take care of anyone but myself for a change. Plus, when we went it was fairly busy ( 8's on the crowd calendar) and I was SO glad I didn't have to try pushing a stroller through the mobs of people.

 

[stopher1]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with getting away for a bit with just your spouse... the best relationships thrive because of time away. After all, your kids will be with you for a time, but once they're grown and gone, who will be with you...your spouse. Fostering and bettering the relationship now will only help later on. Guilt isn't necessary.

 

[DisneyPhD]

Oh I know just what you are talking about. Last year (March 2007) DH and used some DVC points and our AP to go down to WDW for 3 nights. It was during the week, DH had the week of school (spring break he teaches college) and the girls were in school. Not only that but we had taken them to WDW in Jan, and had a cruise planned for May.

I knew they were not hurting for WDW time, and it was great to have the time for DH and I.

In fact I even enjoyed the trips with the kids more because I could just do what they wanted and know that I could do what I wanted in the March trip.

Still during the whole trip I felt the need to explain to strangers that we did in fact have kids and we were not terrible for going without them.

Besides I really got to shop and buy, they got more stuff then they ever get when they come with us! It was a great time.

We considered doing it again this this, but it had been almost a year between our last trips and I didn't want to go with out them this time.

 

[Aliceacc]

Personally, I don't think I would. If I were going to Disney (aside from chaperoning the Senior Trip, as my husband is doing RIGHT NOW ) my kids would be with me.

That's not a criticism of anyone else, just my own take on the question.

 

[eliza61]

For those of you who have gone to WDW without your kids, how do you get past the guilt. We have a trip planned for the whole family in October, but my DH and I were thinking of going the last week of May as well. This would be a quick trip for a joint anniversary and my graduation from college celebration. The kids are still in school and it is their last week, so I can't pull them out for this and we can't delay until they are out because I start my new job then. How do you handle the guilt?

What guilt? Seriously, I'm betting that you have normal american kids like mine. That means my kids have been to disney (almost every year) have Ipods, cell phones, play stations and TV's. Most middle class kids get play dates with their friends, movie dates, pizza nights out and a whole lot more.
I'm sorry this is one area where I remind my kids that they are very lucky and they should seriously appreciate their blessing. Sorry, I guess this is just one of my pet peeves.

Go, have a great time with the hubby, call the kids to check up on them and no guilt.

 

[MichelleVW]

What guilt? Seriously, I'm betting that you have normal american kids like mine. That means my kids have been to disney (almost every year) have Ipods, cell phones, play stations and TV's. Most middle class kids get play dates with their friends, movie dates, pizza nights out and a whole lot more.
I'm sorry this is one area where I remind my kids that they are very lucky and they should seriously appreciate their blessing. Sorry, I guess this is just one of my pet peeves.

Go, have a great time with the hubby, call the kids to check up on them and no guilt.

I agree!!! My two are spoiled rotten...both have cell phones, ipods, their own laptops, the youngest has her own horse, the oldest has her own car...they have been to Jamaica, Disney Cruise, Guam and Australia (to visit their military father) the oldest has been to the United Kingdom AND Australia on 2 different People to People trips and now their father is moving to Germany so they will get to go there.....

So do I feel guilty for a few days in Disney without them...NO WAY!!

 

[mom2aredhead]

If you and your husband were going somewhere other than Disney, would you still feel guilty? Probably not.

Taking time for yourselves and your marriage is one of the best things you can do for your kids. Happy marriage = Happy parents = Happy kids.

It's not like you're going to leave them out in the yard to fend for themselves...clearly you'll make sure they're well taken care of while your gone. Being a good parent does not require you to have your children attached to you 24/7/365. (this is my opinion - others may disagree)

Also, you'll probably get to eat in a lot of restaurants or hit some attractions or shows that you've not gone to before becuause the previous trips were more about your kids.

 

[goofy4tink]

Guilt? You want guilt? I go not only without my child, I go without my dh!!! Every year, early Dec, I head down for some grown-up time at WDW with my Disney friends (who I have actually met here, on the DIS!). My dh likes WDW but only feels the need to go every 18 months or so. Dd is in 8th grade, so she can't go as often as she would like. So...I go by myself. Sure, there are moments when I think how much my dd would love being there, but heck..she goes off to camp for an entire month. So, moms and dads need some time away as well.
I would love to go to WDW with just my dh...but I don't see that happening. He does enjoy cruising...so, maybe that's doable.

 

[tkhkroberts]

Well thanks everyone. I just finished booking DH and I for the end of May. I still feel very guilty as we have never gone anywhere without DDs with us. We even took them last year on our 10th anniversary to WDW which was originally going to be an Alaskan cruise without them, but we felt guilty so WDW is was. Hopefully with enough "adult" drinks at Epcot the guilt will fade away.

 

[Bethy Lou]

We felt guilty the first time, for the first part of the trip, but we made sure to do all of the adult stuff that they would have been too bored or tired to do. Now we go frequently without them because it is a special place for us (we got married and had our honeymoon there) and when we take the kids we are able to relax and go at their pace and not feel as if we are not able to do things we would enjoy. It actually works out better for everyone that way.

As for the drinks, there is some kind of wine in Italy I highly recommend! DH and I did drinking around the world on our honeymoon and I fell in love with that one!