How would you tell friends.......

[sanjacprof]

that you want to go on a Disney vacation WITHOUT them?!?? Here's the short story. We have some friends (not best friends), but our children hang out together. We have been on some trips together and it went fine. However, I really want just my family to go to Disney next summer. I just don't think we are close enough friends to do Disney. I've been to Disney before, and I know how stressful it can be if you let it.

Me and my family are pretty laid back; we kinda go with the flow. Although I am a planner and like to be in control ...once we get there, we just want to have fun. This particular family's mom likes to be in control too and is very uptight about schedules, etc. You can't have 2 controllers...I don't see it working!

Now, here's my issue: About a year ago, she mentioned that we should go to Disney together. IF she mentions it again, how do I subtlely (sp?) tell her no. I don't want to offend her or hurt her feelings, but I don't want my family to suffer either.

Any advice?? Thanks!!!

 

[Metsoskil]

You need to do what's best for your family and a friend should understand that. Going on a vacation to Disney with just your family is normal - there's no need to feel guilty. I'd just tell them flat out that you think your family could use some special time together on vacation, and that you'll be going alone. If they have a problem with that it's their problem, not yours.

We can only choose our own actions and make sure that our motives are right. We can't control other people's reactions. You are not choosing to go without them to cause them pain, but to benefit your family. There's nothing wrong with that.

 

[jazzmine]

I would be upfront while being gentle. If it comes up, tell her that you want it to be just your family this time around. Maybe you can tell her that your family needs some quality time together on this vacation so you are just going to focus on your family.

I know it can be a touchy situation - I hope that it's not a big deal and you are able to get through it with smooth sailing.

 

[Rylee]

that you want to go on a Disney vacation WITHOUT them?!?? Here's the short story. We have some friends (not best friends), but our children hang out together. We have been on some trips together and it went fine. However, I really want just my family to go to Disney next summer. I just don't think we are close enough friends to do Disney. I've been to Disney before, and I know how stressful it can be if you let it.

Me and my family are pretty laid back; we kinda go with the flow. Although I am a planner and like to be in control ...once we get there, we just want to have fun. This particular family's mom likes to be in control too and is very uptight about schedules, etc. You can't have 2 controllers...I don't see it working!

Now, here's my issue: About a year ago, she mentioned that we should go to Disney together. IF she mentions it again, how do I subtlely (sp?) tell her no. I don't want to offend her or hurt her feelings, but I don't want my family to suffer either.

Any advice?? Thanks!!!

We have friends that always want us to vacation together. Sometimes we do, sometimes we don't.

We actually did Disney together in April 2007, and it worked out just fine. (It was their 1st trip to WDW.) I stated, right up front... "Disney is far too expensive to spend your time and money doing what others want, so please don't feel you need to stick with us all day!" teeheehee So, we planned out which day, we'd visit which park. Then, we planned a few of our ADR's together. They liked to spend a lot of time at the pool, we like to spend most of our time in the parks, so some days we started out together, and then split up, other days we just met up for dinner.

This year they wanted to go together again, and although we didn't have any problems, they do have some strange quirks... always want to stay at the same hotel (past beach vacations) and insisted we stay at the same Disney Resort again, even through that's the only one they've been too, eat at the same restaurant (crab or shrimp must be on the men), visit at the same time of year, etc.

Anyway, we like to try new things and also, it is nice to make a family vacation, exactly that... family. So, when they asked about going in April, I told her we had talked it over and decided we'd like to go in December to see the Xmas decorations. This is true, but also, I positively knew she would not visit in Dec... she has to have her pool time, and would never risk the weather in Dec.

If she ask, you could just say, I'm sorry, we've already made our plans for this year. Or, make it sound as if you are concerned about their enjoyment... I don't think your family would like to do Disney with us, we hate to be on any type of schedule on vacation or we're pretty set in our ways when it comes to Disney, we always____ .... or we only____ .... whatever would work in your favor.

 

[tlbwriter]

"Oh, that might be fun someday. But right now we're looking forward to a Sanjacprof Family vacation."

 

[reelmom]

Don't mention that you are going until right before. You are under no obligation to tell anybody your family's plans. Good luck.