How would you respond? Issue with instructor (long)

[FireDancer]

I would hate for him to be doing something that isn't appropriate and you not to know, but I think it would be just as bad to talk to the police without talking to him first. Accusations could ruin his teaching career and if he didn't do anything that would be horrible!

This is what I think.

If the story is as your son told you then this guy is a weirdo. First, who photographs their poop and shows a student? Second, if they have inappropriate pictures you don't bring them with you to school or any place of instruction. That is one snooping person away from a big problem even if you didn't mean to show anyone. Lastly, even if they were just pictures of flowers and puppy dogs you aren't paying him to be an art teacher.

On the other hand kids aren't always truthful or accurate and it could have been two pictures of nothing inappropriate while they were preparing for the lesson. I would describe many pieces of art as crap and most were hanging in museums. It might not literally be poop but a child's way of saying crap.

Who knows. As it is the story is too strange to either dismiss as nothing or believe without verification. This is a 6 year old after all, not a high school or junior high student.

 

[Took]

Personally, I would pull my kid from this instructor on the principle that I'm not paying him to show pics to my kid (whether they were innocent or not).

Yes, I'd tell the owner why, too.

 

[TinkerbEllnor]

Thanks for all the replies. When DS first told me, I was ready to go in there guns-a-blazin. Then second guessed myself that maybe it was sophomoric but no big deal. Thanks for all your help in confirming it was definitely weird.

A small update: I have been thinking about my plan to wait until just before the next lesson on Tuesday to bring it up to the instructor and the owner. I would have my son with me at the time and with all the different ways this could play out, if there is a big confrontation to be had, I wouldn't want DS to witness it.

So, today, I went to the music studio while my son was in school to speak to the owner on her own. She is very approachable, is a new doting grandma, and isn't related to the instructor or have other ties that I know of that would make me think she wouldn't be impartial to the situation.

I went in and explained exactly what my son told me and that I wanted to get the other side. She did not know anything about any pictures that he had. And regardless of the content, she said "I pay him to teach the music, that's what he needs to be doing".

She said that she has had problems in the past with another instructor that she hired that was young and had difficulties with understanding the boundaries required in a teacher/student relationship. She said that she would call him in to talk, and if there was anything inappropriate, he would not get another chance, he would be let go. She thanked me for letting her know and she would call me after she spoke to him.

I told her that if he does continue on, that he should come prepared at the next lesson with these pictures to show them to me, just so I could confirm with my own eyes they were benign for my own peace of mind.

I got a lot of details about the pics from my son to hopefully avoid a 'switcheroo' and depending on what he shows me, I may have DS confirm they are the same ones. In talking to DS again, there were more than just the 3 pics. There were as many as 8, perhaps more. Most seemed as benign as the cat and eye. But there was one "of (instructor) and his buddy being crazy" that DS couldn't elaborate on. And DS did get a glimpse of the forbidden "can't show you" pic- but all he could describe what he saw was a blue triangle and a skin colored stripe.

So now I am just waiting on the owner to get back to me. I do hope this is a misunderstanding, but if there is not a satisfactory explanation coming, DS won't be going back.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Thanks for all the replies. When DS first told me, I was ready to go in there guns-a-blazin. Then second guessed myself that maybe it was sophomoric but no big deal. Thanks for all your help in confirming it was definitely weird.

A small update: I have been thinking about my plan to wait until just before the next lesson on Tuesday to bring it up to the instructor and the owner. I would have my son with me at the time and with all the different ways this could play out, if there is a big confrontation to be had, I wouldn't want DS to witness it.

So, today, I went to the music studio while my son was in school to speak to the owner on her own. She is very approachable, is a new doting grandma, and isn't related to the instructor or have other ties that I know of that would make me think she wouldn't be impartial to the situation.

I went in and explained exactly what my son told me and that I wanted to get the other side. She did not know anything about any pictures that he had. And regardless of the content, she said "I pay him to teach the music, that's what he needs to be doing".

She said that she has had problems in the past with another instructor that she hired that was young and had difficulties with understanding the boundaries required in a teacher/student relationship. She said that she would call him in to talk, and if there was anything inappropriate, he would not get another chance, he would be let go. She thanked me for letting her know and she would call me after she spoke to him.

I told her that if he does continue on, that he should come prepared at the next lesson with these pictures to show them to me, just so I could confirm with my own eyes they were benign for my own peace of mind.

I got a lot of details about the pics from my son to hopefully avoid a 'switcheroo' and depending on what he shows me, I may have DS confirm they are the same ones. In talking to DS again, there were more than just the 3 pics. There were as many as 8, perhaps more. Most seemed as benign as the cat and eye. But there was one "of (instructor) and his buddy being crazy" that DS couldn't elaborate on. And DS did get a glimpse of the forbidden "can't show you" pic- but all he could describe what he saw was a blue triangle and a skin colored stripe.

So now I am just waiting on the owner to get back to me. I do hope this is a misunderstanding, but if there is not a satisfactory explanation coming, DS won't be going back.

Thank you for the update! I think you handled it very well. I know if I were the business owner, I would want to know and I'd want to address it. Good job! It'll be interesting to see how it all turns out.

 

[smkiya]

Thank you for the update! I think you handled it very well. I know if I were the business owner, I would want to know and I'd want to address it. Good job! It'll be interesting to see how it all turns out.

Ditto!