How would you react?

[Just_Trish]

Hi everyone...I don't want to take away from the original poster's thread, but I've had a dilemma and well, since there are obviously gay folks here, perhaps you could help.

My 16 year old daughter is obsessed with gay guys! Everytime she sees a gay couple she practically has a heart attack, LOL. I told her she needs to be careful of her reaction because it would be terrible if she offended someone because that would totally not be her intention, and not to gawk because she wouldn't want that to be misconstrued as disapproval. She has said several times that she simply wishes there was some "universal signal" to let others know that she is supportive and only eyeing them because she thinks it is sweet and just loves love, plain and simple. So, I don't want to seem like a total dodo bird, but IS there some universal signal?! LOL!
Thank you!

 

[EpicKevin]

Nah - I wouldn't mind in pretty much any circumstance.

But yeah, I'd be interested to know why they asked.

I'm a straight man.

 

[Tinkerboy00]

Again, depends on who was asking and why they felt the need to ask?

I would probably just laugh, and change the subject if I didnt' know the person and felt like it was leading up to something weird/fishy

 

[HeatherLassell]

I was at a bar like 6 months ago. Now I've been hanging out with a different group of friends and lost touch a bit with the group I used to always be with. Well this girl who was drunk at the bar decided to come up and tell me why my old friends don't talk to me anymore. She leans in "They all think you're gay." I was pretty thrown back. Not because they may or may not think I'm gay but that if anyone did this would be a reason to stop being friends with me? And you know what her explination was for this assumption? She says "Well all your new friends are gay." I didn't give this girl any answer other than "interesting" and stopped talking to her.

I did confront the old group of friends who all denied this being an issue with any of them regardless of what may or may not be my sexual preference.

I do think it's kinda funny though because I hadn't even looked at the fact that the majority of my new good friends are gay. Guess I don't put that much weight on who my friends choose to sleep with.

 

[jimpossible87]

This question came up at work today and so I thought I'd post somewhere were LGBT and straight people could answer.

How would you respond if some asked if you were gay? Would you be offended?

My response was that I would say I'm gay and it wouldn't offend me no matter who asked. I've been out to everyone for a very long time, so it's not a big deal to me and most everyone knows.

I'm inclinded to see the responses from fellow LGBT and straight people. How would you respond?

One thing I did say was I would follow up their question with one of my own...Why do you ask?

I dont care if people ask me either but on the same note if someone is going to ask me I would definitely ask them why they want to know.

I will share my story just for topic sake
I am going through a problem at work now involving a supervisor who made several derogatory gay comments towards me . I was laid off and she was promoted to another job in another office so as much as I dont care who knows or who asks I always want to know why because there are still alot of people that want to find whatever they can to use against you in some way or even just to get something focused on you in a negative light. Im a big fan pf people minding their own business at work. You would be surprised at the large companies that will do anything to turn an act of discrimination and prejudice into something else to protect their reputation. Long story short---I told my HR about the incident and my whole office was given a questionaire about ME asking what things I may have said or done at anytime that were "inappropriate" lol. I had to look into legal things I could do etc...but in any event Im going to be unemployed at the end of the month and I have to say its because my supervisor "just doesnt understand gay people" as she had said to me so eloquently. I work for Partners healthcare and Mass General hospital btw My President here is the most effeminate gay man Ive ever met and this was still allowed to happen.

 

[Monch]

I would laugh. I haven't been asked that since I was a teen, but I know I'd laugh if someone asked me now. For a few reasons.

One, if you can't tell from the way I talk, you obviously don't know enough about gay to understand the question you're asking. Two, it's a weird thing to ask someone. I don't find it rude, just weird. If you're asking, you probably don't know me well enough to ask / care in the first place. And you've probably picked up on enough vibes to know the answer. It's not exactly a getting-to-know-you question you ask everyone you meet.

Mind you, people wouldn't get the chance to ask, because I talk about and am with my boyfriend enough that people can figure it out pretty early on.

 

[jeffmilw]

My long standing policy has been this: I won't deny I'm gay if asked by someone... but, at the same time I don't make it a point to advertise I'm gay, either.

Those that I think need to know, know..

 

[Trixieplus2]

This question came up at work today and so I thought I'd post somewhere were LGBT and straight people could answer.

How would you respond if some asked if you were gay? Would you be offended?

My response was that I would say I'm gay and it wouldn't offend me no matter who asked. I've been out to everyone for a very long time, so it's not a big deal to me and most everyone knows.

I'm inclinded to see the responses from fellow LGBT and straight people. How would you respond?

One thing I did say was I would follow up their question with one of my own...Why do you ask?

I have been asked that before. I usually tell them I don't know (just to be silly) But I don't get offended.

I have a very tomboyish daughter that my family is convinced is gay. She is four years old. They want to know what I will do if she is? My response...I hope she adopts because I would love to have grandchildren one day LOL.

 

[Mama Who]

I think I'd want to know why it was important information for them to have. There are a few non-prurient times that preference is germane, but not all that many. Personally I'd be bemused, since I'm in a heterosexual marriage and anyone who knows me well enough to be concerned is aware of that.

 

[Captain Hookup]

When i thought i was straight i wouldnt have cared
and now that i know im bi i really dont care.

There are always people who ask questions they shouldnt...
how much money you make,
are you gay
did you gain weight
is that a wig


those people will always be around.

 

[NEDisneyFans]

This has happened -- my reply "actually, I prefer the word 'lesbian' -- why do you ask?"

 

[CamoMama]

Funny, I've had that question asked a few times. It has never bothered me. I am pretty open about my sex life (well, lack thereof), and most of those who have asked know that I've been celibate for about 7 years. Most of the time the question stems from a discussion abut dating, often it's a friend who wants to set me up with someone because they can't believe that I'm celibate by choice. There is now a betting pool about when I will start dating again. I find it really amusing. Right now I'm being a mom to an autistic 16 year old and a 14 year old who just came out of the closet. I have a lot to deal with without adding dating drama into the mix, right?

 

[amykathleen2005]

If someone really wanted to know the most appropriate way would probably ask "Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? Or are you single?" That gives the chance to elaborate but it can also be yes or no.

 

[dgr1973]

No it would not bother me although I would want to know why since I am straight. I think I would be much more offended if someone asked me when is my baby due even though I am not pregnant!

 

[jjjmranch]

No it would not bother me although I would want to know why since I am straight. I think I would be much more offended if someone asked me when is my baby due even though I am not pregnant!

I've had that happen to me! I was wearing an oversized coat and was approached by some woman in a drugstore and she asked me that!

Then I did something stupid and asked my son's 1st grade teacher when she was due and she replied, it's just my tummy! Was my face red!!!!!

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Same rule I use regarding asking a woman if she's pregnant -- Don't Ask, They'll Tell (if they want you to know). I'm a straight woman and honestly, it's none of my business whether someone else is gay or straight.

 

[Captain Hookup]

The pregnant aspect works both ways...

one morning I was opening a store in which i was working.
We couldnt open the doors until 9 and a woman in a fur coat was outside at 10 minuted before 9.

She yelled at us for not letting her in sooner because she was pregnant.
I honestly thought it was just her belly. she yelled at me pretty good!

 

[bubblybackflips]

Agreed with other people: it would definitely depend on who was asking!

 

[gottaluvPluto]

My daughter (14) has been asked several times by strangers if she is gay because they wanted to go out with her. Now she isn't gay, but she doesn't understand why complete strangers ask her that question and why they would ask a complete stranger on a date. She does get upset by the question.

 

[mellers]

This question came up at work today and so I thought I'd post somewhere were LGBT and straight people could answer.

How would you respond if some asked if you were gay? Would you be offended?

My response was that I would say I'm gay and it wouldn't offend me no matter who asked. I've been out to everyone for a very long time, so it's not a big deal to me and most everyone knows.

I'm inclinded to see the responses from fellow LGBT and straight people. How would you respond?

One thing I did say was I would follow up their question with one of my own...Why do you ask?

I am straight, but I have been asked several times if I was gay. It doesn't particularly offend me. I usually respond "Why do you care?" and then I look politely confused. I have never, however, been asked such a question in the workplace. Regardless of my sexual orientation, I think I would say something to the effect of, "That's not really an appropriate question to be asking in the workplace."

If I were really ticked off, I'd ask, "Are you straight?" However, it's not as appropriate as the other response.

In general, I don't ask people what their sexual orientation is. I sometimes try to fish around if it appears two people are together to see what the appropriate salutation should be (I don't want to call somebody's husband his boyfriend, or think that a woman's brother is her boyfriend,) but even then I usually just introduce myself and my husband, stick out my hand and hope they'll do the same.