How would you react to this?? (work-place situation)

[Lehuaann]

So do I have this straight...this was done in a professional, office-type setting -- employee #2 interrupted employee #1 with a work-related question -- employee #1 was peeved with being bothered by employee #2 -- employee #1 ran her big mouth in what seemed to be a playfully-demeaning manner and cursed at employee #2 -- employee #2 walked away shocked and embarrassed -- you witnessed it and that leads us here...was I right?

Honestly the nature of the two employee's personal relationship - which I'm figuring is nil - doesn't even matter to me. This is total, utter, stupid, offensive behavior.

May I ask if your company has rules against swearing, profane or offensive language, or disrespectful conduct?

I once had an upset co-worker walk pass me from another dept confronting/cursing me due to discrepancies I found auditing her work (it was my job to do so, but of course, she didn't want points and was trying to force me to accept her grading schemes). About that time I calmly stated that if she had a problem with me she needed to go talk to the honcho himself and get out of my face. Ended up she was no longer allowed to approach, come into my building, or within so many ft of me. She (and her cronies) hated me, but I. could've. cared. less.

Lesson learned; never let what others do or say catch you off-guard and always nip this behavior in the bud - right away.

 

[enchantingodin]

In my work environment I would think nothing of this. If anything that would be a tame comment. Then again we are all pretty close and very playful with each other. I prolly would've come back with something like "Blow it out your a-s b-tch. At least I'm DOING some work." And made some crazy face.

But that's how we are. If this isn't the norm for the office you work in. Or the relationship between the two co-works... Then yes, I'd say something.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Not knowing the atmosphere in the office, it is really hard to say. I know, just from hearing her end of conversations over the phone, that such a comment in even DSiL's pretty high end law firm would be totally benign and not even close to as "harsh" as their teasing can get--and yet they are a very tight and close group of co workers. I have never really worked in an office enviornment, but DH does and has and every one is different with that type of thing.

I wonder if one or the other party in this issue is relatively new to the office and has not picked up on the tone used there yet?

Regardless, even if it were totally off from the office tone, as a one time thing I would not worry about it or report it. I would make a note of the situation (including date, time and witnesses) so that I would have it to refer to if it becomes an ongoing issue which I would then report.

 

[aprilgail2]

Now I used to work for a construction company and something similar but back to your machine, etc would be pretty common so I'm not thin skinned...

Where I work that would be nothing compare to whats said to people by bosses and by co workers- lots of f bombs and telling people things that are physically impossible to do LOL..I don't think what the OP's co worker said would be an issue--just wouldn't speak with them again since thats not the kind of thing that is normal there.

 

[Jennasis]

No way can I comment on this without all the details (their personal relationship, the reaction of the employee on the receiving end etc..).

 

[janey99]

Just out of curiosity, those who would "report" this incident, exactly what would you "report?"

I work in a structured finance/legal environment, and like other posters, think the incident sounds pretty benign.

If I was an HR person, and someone came to me and said "John was snotty to me and said a curse and told me to go back in my box!" I would develop more of an "opinion" about the reporter than the reportee, regardless of any (likely relatively minimal) actions my company policies might require me to take.

Jane

 

[Rora]

I agree, if it were said with a laugh then I'd probably just dismiss it, even though it was still inappropriate ... but since it was not said jokingly, then I would definitely report it to my manager or HR person ...

I agree.

 

[merekc]

Regardless, even if it were totally off from the office tone, as a one time thing I would not worry about it or report it. I would make a note of the situation (including date, time and witnesses) so that I would have it to refer to if it becomes an ongoing issue which I would then report.

Based on the information given, my opinion is...

I agree with this. I do not think it should be reported if it is a one time occurance. I think this is a bigger reflection on the person running to management to tell on someone else. The boss has more important things to worry about than babysitting employees.

If I am the victim, I would, however, document the situation especially if it is a person that I have had problems with.

As the victim and depending on the person and my relationship with them, I would also probably approach them to let them know that I didn't appreciate the comment and thought it was inappropriate.

If I am a witness, it would again depend on my relationship to the person, but I might also let them know that it was inappropriate.

I also think that the more time that passes the more difficult it is to address. Since it was a peer, the victim could easily have turned around and in front of the same audience tell the person their statement was inappropriate and unprofessional. Or at least return to the person that day. I think the first though shows they are not going to allow others to treat them unprofessionally.

I would suspect that there is more to this story and these two employees may have existing issues. If that is the case, document, document, document.

 

[Daisy&Max]

I'm another in the camp who say something to the person who said it to me and not go running to the boss crying because they hurt my feelings. Like a previous poster I would have given it right back to the person who said it to me just so they knew it didn't bother me. A good ole "bite me" usually works well in these situations. But then again i'm pretyt thick skinned so not much bothers me. If someone at my work came to me (a peer level person) and told me what was said my response would be the same as to my children, "suck it up buttercup, life ain't fair!".

Daisy

 

[horseshowmom]

I wouldn't want it said to me or would I say it to anyone. Not appropriate.

^^ This...

Just out of curiosity, those who would "report" this incident, exactly what would you "report?"

I work in a structured finance/legal environment, and like other posters, think the incident sounds pretty benign.

If I was an HR person, and someone came to me and said "John was snotty to me and said a curse and told me to go back in my box!" I would develop more of an "opinion" about the reporter than the reportee, regardless of any (likely relatively minimal) actions my company policies might require me to take.

Jane

I would be the exact opposite. I would be very displeased that a company employee was behaving in that manner (and I wouldn't care whether it was joking or not).

 

[Acklander]

I'm another in the camp who say something to the person who said it to me and not go running to the boss crying because they hurt my feelings. Like a previous poster I would have given it right back to the person who said it to me just so they knew it didn't bother me. A good ole "bite me" usually works well in these situations. But then again i'm pretyt thick skinned so not much bothers me. If someone at my work came to me (a peer level person) and told me what was said my response would be the same as to my children, "suck it up buttercup, life ain't fair!".

Daisy

This. I'd just consider it bantering back and forth and that the person was just joking - but I've always worked in casual type offices when it comes to stuff like that. now, if I worked in a straight laced, no joking, everything proper type off (which would be a very big IF, since I couldn't picture myself working in that type of place); I'd probably be surprised that someone would make a comment like that, but wouldn't go running to the boss or HR over it. I would imagine the only thing HR would do would be to tell the offender that his comment was offensive and not to do it again. Then you would be known as the person who ran to HR because someone said the word *** in front of you.

 

[janey99]

This. I'd just consider it bantering back and forth and that the person was just joking - but I've always worked in casual type offices when it comes to stuff like that. now, if I worked in a straight laced, no joking, everything proper type off (which would be a very big IF, since I couldn't picture myself working in that type of place); I'd probably be surprised that someone would make a comment like that, but wouldn't go running to the boss or HR over it. I would imagine the only thing HR would do would be to tell the offender that his comment was offensive and not to do it again. Then you would be known as the person who ran to HR because someone said the word *** in front of you.

The person who needs to be "handled."

 

[Darth Boeder]

Wow. I would be livid if this was said to me even if it was a boss. Although our bosses could get fired for this. First, I would go to my manager then if there were a human resources office I would report to them. I would give them the list of other employees who heard this.

I would try not to say too much (it would be hard) just so it wouldn't come back on that person.

I would have gone directly to HR and reported it. NO ONE has the right to talk to ANYONE like that. HR would be a good place to facility a discuss betweent the two people as well and deciplinary action if needed.

 

[mamacatnv]

Not enough information. It depends on the working relationship. Is someone in my office said it to me, it was probably tongue-in-cheek and I would take it in stride.

It's hard to say without knowing the entire job relationship. Sometimes the repercussions could make life even worse. If I was this person, I would discuss it with their boss to have it on record, not go to HR right away.

I need more info, to vague for me

No way can I comment on this without all the details (their personal relationship, the reaction of the employee on the receiving end etc..).

Just out of curiosity, those who would "report" this incident, exactly what would you "report?"

I work in a structured finance/legal environment, and like other posters, think the incident sounds pretty benign.

If I was an HR person, and someone came to me and said "John was snotty to me and said a curse and told me to go back in my box!" I would develop more of an "opinion" about the reporter than the reportee, regardless of any (likely relatively minimal) actions my company policies might require me to take.Jane

If one of the employees brought this to me my reaction would be the same. Go back to work and sort it out.

I would have gone directly to HR and reported it. NO ONE has the right to talk to ANYONE like that. HR would be a good place to facility a discuss betweent the two people as well and deciplinary action if needed.

This here HR chick would have sent you back to your cubicle

Remember, HR's job is to protect the company from its managers. Employee issues are often way down the list. I am not the playground referee, that is why dept's have managers. Take it up with your dept. head and don't bug me with it unless you truly have a legitimate legal complaint.

In my work environment I would think nothing of this. If anything that would be a tame comment. Then again we are all pretty close and very playful with each other. I prolly would've come back with something like "Blow it out your a-s b-tch. At least I'm DOING some work." And made some crazy face.

But that's how we are. If this isn't the norm for the office you work in. Or the relationship between the two co-works... Then yes, I'd say something.

In our office this would be a normal occurrence. I tell one of the sales chickies to go away in a similar fashion on a regular basis, its part of how we all interact with each other.

 

[SeaSpray]

OP here

Ok, a little more info:

This kind of talk is not tolerated at all in this particular office. People kid around, and some people are more friendly/kidding around with each other, but our HR department has always been very clear that no type of "harrassment" will be tolerated, and we've had to sign paperwork saying that we are aware of the harrassment policy in our handbook. And yes, our HR department would consider this to be harrassment. Especially since the way that employee one spoke to employee two, there was no kidding around to it at all.

Employee one is fairly new, and is a temp, but has been around the office long enough to know the decorum here. Honestly, it just seemed like a bit of immaturity on their (emp #1) part, in the moment. They sit at the receptionist's desk and while that spot holds absolutely no authority, I think the big leather chair might've gone to their head. LOL Maybe they didn't get enough attention when they were young? LOL Who knows.

As for the reaction of Employee #2:

They were already turned and walking away when the comment was made.
When they heard the comment, they turned right around and said "ExCUSE me??"
Employee #1, I think, realized the mistake they made, and reworded the comment, but did repeat it "Go back to your desk, sit on your rear end, and do your work". It was said with the same tone of voice as the first time, though. Those of us who saw and heard this were pretty taken aback at this point because we knew that there had been no real reason for Emp #1 to react that way to Emp #2, and also that Emp #2 was not going to be happy about it.
Employee #2 said in an angry tone, "That was NOT appropriate" and walked away.


Apparently, someone around the corner, down the hall, also heard the entire thing, because Emp #1 was spoken to about it this morning. They said they were just asked to say what happened. Not sure what, if anything, will come of it, though! I'll update with any news.

Edited to add: Both of the employees have no previous "history" with each other, good or bad, other than the normal office conversation for a few minutes here and there (as far as I know).

 

[disneyquestions]

OP here

Ok, a little more info:

This kind of talk is not tolerated at all in this particular office. People kid around, and some people are more friendly/kidding around with each other, but our HR department has always been very clear that no type of "harrassment" will be tolerated, and we've had to sign paperwork saying that we are aware of the harrassment policy in our handbook. And yes, our HR department would consider this to be harrassment. Especially since the way that employee one spoke to employee two, there was no kidding around to it at all.

Employee one is fairly new, and is a temp, but has been around the office long enough to know the decorum here. Honestly, it just seemed like a bit of immaturity on their (emp #1) part, in the moment. They sit at the receptionist's desk and while that spot holds absolutely no authority, I think the big leather chair might've gone to their head. LOL Maybe they didn't get enough attention when they were young? LOL Who knows.

As for the reaction of Employee #2:

They were already turned and walking away when the comment was made.
When they heard the comment, they turned right around and said "ExCUSE me??"
Employee #1, I think, realized the mistake they made, and reworded the comment, but did repeat it "Go back to your desk, sit on your rear end, and do your work". It was said with the same tone of voice as the first time, though. Those of us who saw and heard this were pretty taken aback at this point because we knew that there had been no real reason for Emp #1 to react that way to Emp #2, and also that Emp #2 was not going to be happy about it.
Employee #2 said in an angry tone, "That was NOT appropriate" and walked away.


Apparently, someone around the corner, down the hall, also heard the entire thing, because Emp #1 was spoken to about it this morning. They said they were just asked to say what happened. Not sure what, if anything, will come of it, though! I'll update with any news.

Edited to add: Both of the employees have no previous "history" with each other, good or bad, other than the normal office conversation for a few minutes here and there (as far as I know).

I don't have an HR dept here - its me, a few other employees, and the boss. We all go back and forth with each other, maybe not quite like that, but we are joking around here all the time - how else do you stay sane?? lol

Anyway, if you are employee #2, and its bothering you this much, go say something! You've made it obvious that your company would be very upset about it, and if you feel that your work enviorment will be "hurt" by this, you should do something. #2 seems to be "higher up" than #1 (the rude one), and probably been there longer. The company will value the longer standing employee more, so do something about it if you choose. Good luck!

 

[wvjules]

No one ever has the right to disrespect another individual joking or not.

Cursing is a big no-no for me so playfully, I'd lay that person right out on the floor and see if he or she still found it witty

Yeah, not a chance but it would have me and to them that would not be witty but humiliating and embarrassing and

Cursing = bad; violence = ok?

 

[janey99]

OP here

Ok, a little more info:

This kind of talk is not tolerated at all in this particular office. People kid around, and some people are more friendly/kidding around with each other, but our HR department has always been very clear that no type of "harrassment" will be tolerated, and we've had to sign paperwork saying that we are aware of the harrassment policy in our handbook. And yes, our HR department would consider this to be harrassment. Especially since the way that employee one spoke to employee two, there was no kidding around to it at all.

Employee one is fairly new, and is a temp, but has been around the office long enough to know the decorum here. Honestly, it just seemed like a bit of immaturity on their (emp #1) part, in the moment. They sit at the receptionist's desk and while that spot holds absolutely no authority, I think the big leather chair might've gone to their head. LOL Maybe they didn't get enough attention when they were young? LOL Who knows.

As for the reaction of Employee #2:

They were already turned and walking away when the comment was made.
When they heard the comment, they turned right around and said "ExCUSE me??"
Employee #1, I think, realized the mistake they made, and reworded the comment, but did repeat it "Go back to your desk, sit on your rear end, and do your work". It was said with the same tone of voice as the first time, though. Those of us who saw and heard this were pretty taken aback at this point because we knew that there had been no real reason for Emp #1 to react that way to Emp #2, and also that Emp #2 was not going to be happy about it.
Employee #2 said in an angry tone, "That was NOT appropriate" and walked away.


Apparently, someone around the corner, down the hall, also heard the entire thing, because Emp #1 was spoken to about it this morning. They said they were just asked to say what happened. Not sure what, if anything, will come of it, though! I'll update with any news.

Edited to add: Both of the employees have no previous "history" with each other, good or bad, other than the normal office conversation for a few minutes here and there (as far as I know).

Of course, your company can make pretty much any policies it wants, but strictly speaking, "harassment" is DEFINED by a persistent pattern of behavior, and one comment preceded by no other history between the employees doesn't qualify. Additionally, under current legal interpretations, the comment you referenced doesn't qualify as any type of protected category violation, and as stated, no threat was involved in the conversation. I'm not even convinced use of the word *ss would qualify as profanity, if it was used to describe a body part in a non-sexual way (I think I've heard it on network TV used in that context).

Does your company have a policy that makes being jerky on one occasion a terminable offense?

Jane

 

[mamacatnv]

OP here

Ok, a little more info:

This kind of talk is not tolerated at all in this particular office. People kid around, and some people are more friendly/kidding around with each other, but our HR department has always been very clear that no type of "harrassment" will be tolerated, and we've had to sign paperwork saying that we are aware of the harrassment policy in our handbook. And yes, our HR department would consider this to be harrassment. Especially since the way that employee one spoke to employee two, there was no kidding around to it at all.

Employee one is fairly new, and is a temp, but has been around the office long enough to know the decorum here. Honestly, it just seemed like a bit of immaturity on their (emp #1) part, in the moment. They sit at the receptionist's desk and while that spot holds absolutely no authority, I think the big leather chair might've gone to their head. LOL Maybe they didn't get enough attention when they were young? LOL Who knows.

As for the reaction of Employee #2:

They were already turned and walking away when the comment was made.
When they heard the comment, they turned right around and said "ExCUSE me??"
Employee #1, I think, realized the mistake they made, and reworded the comment, but did repeat it "Go back to your desk, sit on your rear end, and do your work". It was said with the same tone of voice as the first time, though. Those of us who saw and heard this were pretty taken aback at this point because we knew that there had been no real reason for Emp #1 to react that way to Emp #2, and also that Emp #2 was not going to be happy about it.
Employee #2 said in an angry tone, "That was NOT appropriate" and walked away.


Apparently, someone around the corner, down the hall, also heard the entire thing, because Emp #1 was spoken to about it this morning. They said they were just asked to say what happened. Not sure what, if anything, will come of it, though! I'll update with any news.

Edited to add: Both of the employees have no previous "history" with each other, good or bad, other than the normal office conversation for a few minutes here and there (as far as I know).

This puts a bit of a different spin on it. The employee #2 took offense to the words of employee #1. IMO this is still not an HR issue this is a departmental issue and the dept. head probably needs to address it with the loud mouth, they were clearly out of line.
However, out of line does not in all circles = harrassment.

If your policies are written out and followed to the letter then perhaps employee #2 might have a complaint but chances are in most work environments conversations take place that are not to the letter allowable and if one takes place then there are very little grounds for someone else to complain.
Example, our policy states that there is to be no profanity directed towards another employee regardless of the context. I work with 75% men and a sales gal that has the biggest potty mouth I have ever seen. This "policy" is not enforced by management, heck management is right in there with everyone else. IMO its actually a stupid policy for our environment and it is one that is not enforced at all.
If an employee complains my first comments are usually something along the lines of "well, you know, you do it too" and that is as far as I will go with it.

In this situation, you said employee #1 is a temp. Perhaps they thought they were joking and obviously employee #2 did not agree. Due to the temp status, employee #1 might need to have this indiscretion addressed and just reminded that "we don't do that here" or if it has been a reoccurring issue then perhaps temp needs to be replaced with a new temp.

 

[Arielle22]

THe HR dept must not have much to do if this is considered harassment. This is a snotty comment nothing more. I never realized saying that word was considered cursing.

If I was the manager of the two I would be more upset that work was not being done then what was said.

I have worked in a car dealership and the things said there would curl your hair. Althought they would always say there was a lady present when I walked in so the language would be cleaned up.