How would you have handled this? Update pg. 2

[Trish5768]

My DS6 came home from school (first grade) on Friday and promptly started crying hard. I asked him what was wrong and he said that his teacher had told him that if he did not return his Dan book that he would be in very big trouble and he'd have to pay for it and he did not have the money to do that. (these books are like 5x5 and have 4 pages in them, beginner readers) He said I told her I returned it and she said she did not believe me.

I know I put his book into his backpack Thurs. morning. There is no question about it, he read it to me and his Dad and I took it and put it there and he went to school.

I wrote her a note and told her that and also said that I would gladly pay for replacing the book if she was sure that Nicholas did not turn his in and it was not in the classroom somewhere. Also, that if I did not hear from her than I trusted the matter was taken care of. Hoping that she will not cause any more worry for Nicholas.

My DH thinks that I should not have written the note, but I feel I should have. What do you think?

 

[chris1gill]

You did EXACTLY the right thing.... this is the sort of thing us Mom's do that Dad's just don't... you say in the note you'll gladly pay for the book if necessary, it should smooth the teacher's ruffles & give your son confidence in going back to school today...

 

[Trish Bessette]

I think writing the note was the "nice" way of doing it. If my child was that upset I would have trotted into school Monday morning and personally discussed it with his teacher (in a appropriate matter that is ) Especially since you KNOW that book was sent back.

I'd hate to think about how his teacher would react to something bigger. All that for a 4 page book!!



Good luck!

 

[WeirdEyes]

I would've done the same thing you did. Poor little guy...don't you just hate it when our kids are made to feel so scared when they are so young.

 

[SunshineSis]

I think you handled it well.

 

[kimwim8]

I ABSOLUTELY would have written a note. Writing a note isn't hurting anything. It's not like you wanted to call & yell at her or anything.

 

[Jungle Skipper]

sounds like you handled that very well.

keep us updated as things progress.

Jungle Josh

 

[disneysnowflake]

I think you did the right thing.

When my son was in 2nd grade I got a note sent home stating that we had to pay for a book he checked out of the school library or his report card wouldn't be sent home. I knew we sent the book back to school. We moved all the furniture in the house thinking it could have slipped under the sofa or something. I went to the school and spoke to the librarian who informed me that the book was turned in ON TIME months prior. She had no idea why we'd get that note sent home. The teacher told me that she keeps a record of the books the children bring back, but must have forgotten to check off that my son's book was brought back on time. I later found out he missed an entire week of recess due to this "lost" book, and DS2 was too afraid to tell me about this until after I found out about the "mistake".

 

[Rippington'sFan]

Originally posted by Trish5768
My DS6 came home from school (first grade) on Friday and promptly started crying hard. I asked him what was wrong and he said that his teacher had told him that if he did not return his Dan book that he would be in very big trouble and he'd have to pay for it and he did not have the money to do that. (these books are like 5x5 and have 4 pages in them, beginner readers) He said I told her I returned it and she said she did not believe me.

I know I put his book into his backpack Thurs. morning. There is no question about it, he read it to me and his Dad and I took it and put it there and he went to school.

I wrote her a note and told her that and also said that I would gladly pay for replacing the book if she was sure that Nicholas did not turn his in and it was not in the classroom somewhere. Also, that if I did not hear from her than I trusted the matter was taken care of. Hoping that she will not cause any more worry for Nicholas.

My DH thinks that I should not have written the note, but I feel I should have. What do you think?

I think you handled it fine by writing the note but since this teacher made your son so upset I think I might want to meet with the teacher or at least call the teacher and straighten everything out that way. You definitely want to be sure your son is ok with this teacher etc... If you call, the teacher will know that you are not just going to let things slide without getting some answers about what's going on in class.
Good Luck.

 

[crazyforgoofy]

Originally posted by kimwim8
I ABSOLUTELY would have written a note. Writing a note isn't hurting anything. It's not like you wanted to call & yell at her or anything.

But if she's unkind to your son again you might want to speak directly to her. If Isabella's teacher had said that to her she would have be really upset too.

 

[dizagain]

You handled it nicely...I'm a K teacher and a mom and I would have done the same thing. Just last week, DD3rd grader, came home upset because she got an "x" in the book because she didn't have her assignment book. Well, yes she did have that book - we always check stuff right after school and re-pack the backpack. Anyway, we did look around the house...my house isn't THAT messy that I could lose a red assignment book in a few hours! I decided to go into school with her the next day and help her look again...we BOTH looked through her desk. The teacher wasn't very sympathetic, but she believed me that it had to be at school. Later in the morning my DD went on an errand and the teacher had everyone check their desks for it...supposedly a little boy volunteered to search my DD's and found it in there!!! Hmmm...smells fishy to me and DD still had to keep that "x", but it was settled!

Don't worry!

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Sounds like you handled it just fine. Nothing wrong with wanting to communicate with the teacher. I used to do Read Aloud programs that involved going to elementary schools in my area to read stories to classrooms. Books get lost/misplaced in classrooms, esp. with little ones quite easily. Can't count how many times the kids wanted me to read one particular book and they had to have the teacher go look for it because it wasn't where it belonged.

The book is probably in the classroom somewhere.

 

[ilovepcot]

I agree with everyone here that you handled the situation beautifully. I do not, however, think the teacher did. I'm quite surprised that someone who works with young children lacks the skills to have handled this situation without tears involved. What a terrible shame!

 

[Wishing on a star]

My son is also in First Grade... I am wondering if this is supposed to be some kind of 'reckoning' or something. (But, Ohhhh, they have to be BIG kids now...) To go from Kindergarten directly to this is just inconceiveable.... My DS teacher had my DS so upset that he would almost hyperventilate over every little thing... 'Mom, you signed the behavior chart, right... You have to sign the behavior chart every day... The teacher said!!!" etc... etc....

There were some additional issues, and DS would freak out and cry not wanting to go to class every morning. He didn't even do that in Kindergarten or Pre-K!!!! So suffice it to say I requested a conference with the Principle, the Vice Principle (who is more familiar with DS and myself....) and the Teacher. DS is now in a new classroom.

My feelings about this kind of thing are probably no secret here on the DIS!!!

 

[disykat]

I think the note was appropriate. I am a mom and also used to teach 1st grade. As for the upset child, please go talk to the teacher if you are upset - it many not be about the teacher at all! Kids rarely come home with exact quotes so I'd give the teacher a chance to explain before assuming.

My parents tell the story of when I was in first grade and my mom sent in a quarter instead of the usual dime for milk and the lunchlady gave me change. This happened at lunch and by dismissal time I was still so upset they had to call the school to find out why I was sobbing my eyes out and saying the lunchlady was mean to me.

Sure, it could turn out the teacher is a jerk - but give her a chance to prove it.

 

[SunshineSis]

Don't be quick to think the teacher was wrong. To a 6 year old, a gentle admonishment by someone in a position of authority can be magnified into a huge problem. If you are really worried about it, call the teacher, but I'd let it go at this point.

 

[cats7494]

Yes, you handled that well. I would have done the same thing. I am a big believer in communication - as schools should be too. Luckily, my DD's school does a nice job with communication between school and home.

 

[Nickunited]

You did right!

I beleive little Nick - Nick's are great people

We can be Grumpy at times!

 

[mrsmom]

I would have done the same thing.
Kim

 

[Trish5768]

Nicholas brought home a note from his teacher this afternoon. They found the book in the classroom under the reading table. Thanks for all of your support!