How would you handle this?

[rileyroosmom]

First off, I don't mean to offend anyone. Just looking for opinions.
I am a born and bread New York gal, Catholic, and pretty open minded. A little more than a year ago, we moved to Georgia. Pretty much the Bible belt, conservative kind of place. We don't attend church. I have had many incidents where well meaning neighbors want to take my family to church, one neighbor yelled at my son for saying Jesus Christ during a football game. First question someone willl ask you when meeting you is, "what church do you attend?"
This is all new to me. Coming from NY, this kind of stuff is unheard of and everyone pretty much keeps religious and political views to themselves.

My sons are in a county run Little League. My younger son's coach sends regular e-mails and ends them typically with God Bless Us All. I find it a little annoying, but o.k. Another e-mail said something to the affect, "As Paul would say...." This annoyed me more. The last one asked us to read a certain bible passage and then 2 kids, picked at random (not my son) would discuss it. It's a good read he says.
That did it for me and my dh. We e-mailed the Athletic Director and asked for my son to be removed from the team and placed on another. We attached the copy of the coach's e-mail and stated we understood people's religious beliefs, be we didn't think this was the proper forum and we were offended.

-Well, the director e-mailed us back and understood, but since the coach didn't violate any league rules or regulations, our request was denied. They will speak to the coach and these religious statements will stop.

I can't believe we were denied!! I am truly offened by this and now I'm stuck with a man whose ethics I don't condone.

Anyone have any suggestions? No bashing please, we are a diverse nation afterall!

 

[jenks0718]

Since the religious statements will now stop maybe things will be better for you now. Thats why you were annoyed to begin with right? I hope it works out for you!

 

[golfgal]

We are a diverse nation but often towns or areas are not diverse and I have the feeling that you are in the minority as far as your religious beliefs for your area. He has every right to attach those to his emails just as you have every right not to read them. I think you need to not get worked up about them and just skip over those parts as you said yourself, we are a diverse nation and your rights do not supersede his.

 

[beckmrk04]

While I understand being annoyed, as I would be too, I think asking for your son to be moved to another team is a bit drastic. Couldn't you have just mentioned that you found it inappropriate and asked for the behavior to stop? I agree that Little League isn't the place for Bible school lessons, but switching teams seems a little drastic to me. And as for being "stuck with a man" whose ethics you don't condone, out of fairness to him, he didn't know you were offended. You didn't mention that you brought it up to him and he continued to do these things anyway, which would be a different story. It sounds like he's just really into his religion, and thinks there is good to be found there- which is probably true, but it's just not the right forum for it.

ETA- I think "God Bless us all" is nice. At least it's something that is meant in a nice way, rather than "Eat my Shorts."

 

[doxdogy]

I have to agree with golfgal. Just let it roll off your back and ignore it. He does have to the right to sign his e-mails in any fashion he wishes. While you may not agree with or like it, he still does have that right. The League Director is correct, if he is not breaking any League rules there is nothing they can do.

 

[MAKmom]

Your a Catholic right? So you believe in God? I think it was pretty harmless. You should have spoken with the coach first. Can you explain what you are offended about? This is the norm in your community. If its just on your nerves I would suck it up for your kids sake if your staying in the community.

I know you can take the girl out of New York.....

 

[kdibattista]

We are a diverse nation but often towns or areas are not diverse and I have the feeling that you are in the minority as far as your religious beliefs for your area. He has every right to attach those to his emails just as you have every right not to read them. I think you need to not get worked up about them and just skip over those parts as you said yourself, we are a diverse nation and your rights do not supersede his.

I would normally agree however the coach is asking for all the children to read bible passages and discuss. That seems to be crossing the line.

 

[scrump]

First off, I don't mean to offend anyone. Just looking for opinions.
I am a born and bread New York gal, Catholic, and pretty open minded. A little more than a year ago, we moved to Georgia. Pretty much the Bible belt, conservative kind of place. We don't attend church. I have had many incidents where well meaning neighbors want to take my family to church, one neighbor yelled at my son for saying Jesus Christ during a football game. First question someone willl ask you when meeting you is, "what church do you attend?"
This is all new to me. Coming from NY, this kind of stuff is unheard of and everyone pretty much keeps religious and political views to themselves.

My sons are in a county run Little League. My younger son's coach sends regular e-mails and ends them typically with God Bless Us All. I find it a little annoying, but o.k. Another e-mail said something to the affect, "As Paul would say...." This annoyed me more. The last one asked us to read a certain bible passage and then 2 kids, picked at random (not my son) would discuss it. It's a good read he says.
That did it for me and my dh. We e-mailed the Athletic Director and asked for my son to be removed from the team and placed on another. We attached the copy of the coach's e-mail and stated we understood people's religious beliefs, be we didn't think this was the proper forum and we were offended.

-Well, the director e-mailed us back and understood, but since the coach didn't violate any league rules or regulations, our request was denied. They will speak to the coach and these religious statements will stop.

I can't believe we were denied!! I am truly offened by this and now I'm stuck with a man whose ethics I don't condone.

Anyone have any suggestions? No bashing please, we are a diverse nation afterall!

I understand how you feel. In fact, it's the reason I moved from Georgia to NYC.

Since the religious statements will stop (hopefully), perhaps just monitor the situation with your son, and see if he still feels comfortable with the coach and that he's still enjoying himself with the team? It will probably be one of many more similar encounters (in general, not specifically with this coach).

I hope it gets better!

 

[diznygirl]

I have to agree with golfgal. Just let it roll off your back and ignore it. He does have to the right to sign his e-mails in any fashion he wishes. While you may not agree with or like it, he still does have that right. The League Director is correct, if he is not breaking any League rules there is nothing they can do.

I agree that he can write whatever he wants in his emails. However, it is stepping over his role as a baseball coach when he assigns bible readings to his players that they will be tested on later.

Perhaps you should have just spoken to the coach and not gone over his head. He needs to made aware how you feel before you try switching teams.

 

[Pugdog007]

I think you blew it completely out of proportion. I'm sick of people feeling "offended" by everything.

 

[golfgal]

I would normally agree however the coach is asking for all the children to read bible passages and discuss. That seems to be crossing the line.

What line is it crossing? Where is the line? The league said they didn't have any rules on this and if most of the members of the team belong to the same church or isn't offended by this, there is no line to cross. When I was coaching basketball our team prayed before every game. It was a public school, all the kids were either Catholic or Lutheran and they asked to pray before games. We did. No line was crossed, no one was forced to participate.

 

[kdibattista]

What line is it crossing? Where is the line? The league said they didn't have any rules on this and if most of the members of the team belong to the same church or isn't offended by this, there is no line to cross. When I was coaching basketball our team prayed before every game. It was a public school, all the kids were either Catholic or Lutheran and they asked to pray before games. We did. No line was crossed, no one was forced to participate.

The coach will be calling on kids at random to discuss... you don't think that's forced?

 

[palmtreegirl]

I grew up in NJ so I would've found it strange as well but would've probably done nothing. Just because I'd be leary of being branded that family for coming out against it. I probably would've just chalked it up to something new we'd have to deal with because of the culture change.

Good luck!

 

[Zippa D Doodah]

I think if this really offends you, you should pull your child off of baseball team. Why would you let your child remain under the influence of someone you found offensive or did not agree with? Sure, he might miss baseball, but no sport is worth having your children influenced in a way you do not want them to be.

 

[golfgal]

The coach will be calling on kids at random to discuss... you don't think that's forced?

That was from MY team example. Like I said earlier, what if the parents of the rest of the kids LIKE this?????? Your world is not the same as their world and in some places, people do this and others appreciate it. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean that it isn't ok with the parents of this team.

 

[kdibattista]

That was from MY team example. Like I said earlier, what if the parents of the rest of the kids LIKE this?????? Your world is not the same as their world and in some places, people do this and others appreciate it. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean that it isn't ok with the parents of this team.

And I took the example from the OP... you seem to be saying it's ok as long as the kids aren't forced to participate. I think that calling kids at random to discuss bible passages is forced. As far as other people LIKING it, maybe they do and that's ok for them... it doesn't make it right.

 

[gate_pourri]

Clearly 99 percent on the team had no problem with it. If you have a problem, you should have just pulled your child from the team? Why does the minority feel they need to rule the majority?

 

[golfgal]

And I took the example from the OP... you seem to be saying it's ok as long as the kids aren't forced to participate. I think that calling kids at random to discuss bible passages is forced. As far as other people LIKING it, maybe they do and that's ok for them... it doesn't make it right.

But if the parents LIKE this then it doesn't make it WRONG! We live in a smaller town and kids can still sing Christmas Carols at school because people LIKE that and it isn't wrong. Again, the point you missed was the the league does not have a rule about this and quite frankly many, many towns in the south are VERY religious orientated and if the LARGE majority of the town is that way people that move in are either going to have to ignore these kinds of things or move because people in those towns have just as much right to promote their religion as you do to not like it.

 

[Buckalew11]

I think if this really offends you, you should pull your child off of baseball team. Why would you let your child remain under the influence of someone you found offensive or did not agree with? Sure, he might miss baseball, but no sport is worth having your children influenced in a way you do not want them to be.

I only agree with this because if it were a teaching I was totally against, totally didn't want my DD to be around, totally thought it was against my deepest beliefs, then yes, pull him off the team if it means that much to you. If it just bugs you then I'd talk to him about the 'forced' reading of scripture & let the rest go.

In the south, most of the parents I know welcome a coach with a Christian influence. I understand that you do not but it is just the way much of the south is.

 

[rileyroosmom]

I appreciate everyone's responses.

I didn't go to the coach first because I feel I can't change him. As other's have said, he has the right to put in his e-mails what he wants. I don't know if his religious statements bother others, but because it does me, I felt it best to just remove ourselves from his world.

I guess what bothers me most is, there is a thing called separation of church and state and this is crossing that line. I can't for the life of me understand why anyone would want to discuss bible verses at a Little League game. I also feel wether you agree with his views or mine, somethings just aren't meant for public forums. I don't care what this man does in his home, with his family, with his friends etc., but when you agree to coach a group (outside of a church setting) you have to keep your beliefs to yourself. I don't put in my e-mails what I believe in, forcing it on others. That's very "in your face" in my opinion.

As someone else has stated, it's the area we've moved into and I should just except it. Many times I have, I run into somone/something religious almost everyday. I think the times and the area are changing, and this area is becoming a bit more diverse. I think it's time that people realize not everyone is as into religion as they are.

I guess what irratates me the most is the fact they won't let me move my son off the team. They say the rosters are "frozen". Ridiculous, I say, he's just become a free agent, let him out of his contract!! LOL!

Thanks for listening. I feel better just getting it all out there.