How would you handle this one????

[luvsJack]

This made me think of when I was in HS. We used to bring screwdrivers in a thermos in the morning and even smoke a joint in the parking lot before going into the building. Some kids even did it in the bathrooms.
This is not a new problem, and you are right that it doesn't belong in school but if it hasn't changed in 20 years, what is going to change now?

I don't know. And it seems like while the drugs and drinking are the same, just like the teens having sex is the same--they are so much more open about it. I mean there is no shame or worrying about getting caught.

Seems like all dd and I talk about anymore is the shocking stuff that goes on at school!

 

[Feckless]

Honestly, this is nothing new, and it certainly won't be the first or last time your child is offered drugs. If it were me I would praise my kid for saying no, and move on. As a PP said, you need to prepare your child for the road, not the road for your child.

However, if you are truly that gung-ho about this issue, and you believe that it is something that must be rectified, I can't see how you can tell your daughter not to name names. I don't think you can have it both ways. If you all are going into the school with guns blazing and cleaning up the drug problem, when this girl gets busted she is going to know exactly who the info came from. I think if you have convictions that are that strong you need to stand up for them and teach your daughter to do the same. (FTR, I do NOT agree with this stance)

I am, honestly, quite shocked, OP, that you are that shocked. This was pretty common when I was in school, and I have a sophomore, and it's still pretty common. All things considered pot is on the mild end of the drug spectrum. Ask any kid how many kids are crushing and snorting adderall and oxycontin.

 

[newt2]

Look, you seem to think things through before you post, which is a rare quality. If you took my quote to think I was pointing directly at you, I wasn't. My point was that until we change our habits and mindset in ourselves, the problems will continue to get worse. I think you'd have to agree that the drug problem isn't any better than it was 25 years ago. Actually, with the invention of meth (which is really proliferating here in Portland and SW Washington), it's much worse. Until we all have a mindset that it has to be fixed no matter what, it won't be.

Edit - If that means some dumb 8th grade chick with a dime bag that is a repeat offender (according to OP) has to go to jail overnight, be expelled from school and have her college future in jeopardy, then so be it.

This is so misguided that I don't even know what to say. We've done nothing but get more and more tough on drugs for the last 50 years. We jail more people than any other country in the world (as a percentage of population) and spend billions a year fighting drugs. We even have laws that take away your property without due process and if you're found not guilty you still don't get it back.

Despite all that, there are more drugs now than ever before. Your way is a clear and absolute failure, and you want to double down on that?

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. I think that applies here in spades.

 

[luvmy3]

I don't know. And it seems like while the drugs and drinking are the same, just like the teens having sex is the same--they are so much more open about it. I mean there is no shame or worrying about getting caught.

Seems like all dd and I talk about anymore is the shocking stuff that goes on at school!

Welcome to High School right!? Unfortunately our middle school was pretty bad so I'm not sure dd is shocked by much of what goes on in the HS

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I think it niave to assume that a school is drug free. It just doesn't happen. I personally was never offered drugs, probably because I didn't hang around with other kids who did drugs (or at least were open about it). Smoking and underage drinking, yes, but not drugs. But it still went on.

I don't think my kids were every actually offered drugs in school, either. If they were, I'd hope they'd go to the administration.

While I don't agree, in general, with drug laws, I don't think it's appropriate to "fight the man" by not reporting illegal activity. And, I don't think it should be legal for 14 year olds anyway.

But the child should be the one to do the reporting, not the parent. At least at this age.

 

[Laura66]

Sex, drugs, drinking, cheating etc., has been going on for years. I graduated in 85 and faced all these issues. My children have had tons of classes and assemblies on these very things and I do believe they address and crack down in these problems wayyyy more than they did when I went to school.
How does the OP even know that they are NOT addressing the issue at school. Im shocked she s shocked this happened. Are you sure she was offered drugs and didn't just witness something?
I think the OP wanted a pat on the shoulder for being so outraged about this incident - made empty threats that they had no right to. It's not their place. Sex and drugs have been in education for years and years and years.
I'd also know how the OP expects the school to address deal with the problem if they won't let their daughter name names? You can't have it both ways. You want them to get rid of the drugs - but you won't name names?

 

[jp24]

This is so misguided that I don't even know what to say. We've done nothing but get more and more tough on drugs for the last 50 years. We jail more people than any other country in the world (as a percentage of population) and spend billions a year fighting drugs. We even have laws that take away your property without due process and if you're found not guilty you still don't get it back.

Despite all that, there are more drugs now than ever before. Your way is a clear and absolute failure, and you want to double down on that?

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. I think that applies here in spades.

The laws are the problem here. Not the process. The laws are poorly written, overbroad and gives way too much control to a select few individuals. Legalize MJ, tax the hell out of it, use the money to pay off our ever expanding deficit.

The flip side is that if you are caught with drugs other than MJ, you're screwed. The war on drugs has been a horrible failure.

 

[DisneyMim]

It's too bad but welcome to High School and the real world. I went to HS light years ago to a well-known urban HS and was offered drugs way back then. The best way to handle it is the way your DD did, just as I did. I think the best thing is to talk to your kids and let them know that THEY are responsible for their own actions and can't control anyone else. Yes the drug situation is awful and believe me always has been in certain areas. Kids need to learn to stand up for themselves because this is just the start. It's a sad fact but this will happen in college and in life. It's great that your DD is learning now just like I taught my own kids.

 

[Disney Doll]

I'm shocked that you don't see the connection.

It's our "keep your head down and mouth shut" collective attitude that has this country going in a really bad direction. Is this girl's nickle bag of pot the cause of all our problems? Of course not, but our reaction to it is a symptom of a bigger problem.

...says the person who would talk to the kids first and depending on how they reacted maybe would or maybe wouldn't take it further, after preaching to all of us about doing the right thing....

 

[luvmy3]

...says the person who would talk to the kids first and depending on how they reacted maybe would or maybe wouldn't take it further, after preaching to all of us about doing the right thing....

 

[Princess_Meghan <3]

The same thing happened to my sister her freshman year of high school- she told the guy no, but was really freaked out. She went to a small private middle school, and was definitely not prepared for the possibility of being offered drugs in the middle of class. Unfortunately, it wasn't the last time it happened to her, either

I'm glad your DD knew what to say- my sister learned that she had to just say no, and just ignore it. All of our high schools here seem to have the dogs come in and sniff for drugs every so often. Some of the kids get caught, some don't.

 

[jp24]

...says the person who would talk to the kids first and depending on how they reacted maybe would or maybe wouldn't take it further, after preaching to all of us about doing the right thing....

Like I said earlier, the truth lies somewhere in the middle. No matter who is telling it. And sometimes the right thing is letting their parents in on their little secret. I can tell you that if it were my boys, they would wish the police would have been involved instead of me. I love being my boys friend, but I am their parent first and foremost.

And I fail to see the relevance of your quote with your statement. Having a teen flush his marijuana and involve his/her parents isn't keeping my head down and mouth shut. At all.