how would you feel if???

[luvthatduke]

Having a seriously ill baby,
who's been through life-threatening surgeries,
and planning a trip to WDW after asking
kind-hearted people for $$$ SOLEY BECAUSE
YOU DID NOT CHOOSE TO PAY FOR NEEDED
INSURANCE TO PROTECT YOUR CHILD????
(and I'll note here that now the taxpayers
have to pick up the tab)...
And you're telling her to "let it go???"

Yes, she doesn't have to walk around mad
as heck & getting an ulcer over it,
but I think it's pretty clear that's not the case.

She asked a legitimate question,
and my answer, which is JMO, is this:
Making the choice to not pay a very
reasonable amount for much-needed health
insurance coverage for your child, and planning
a fund-raiser to cover your butt, and then
planning a WDW trip 5 months later?
One word: NEGLECT.

And don't explain how a WDW vacation is worth it
- that child is now at risk because, like it or not,
he may not get the best service he could have gotten
with planned health care insurance.
In case some may not be aware,
depending on what state you live in there are only
a select group of hospitals that willingly treat
uninsured/underinsured people, and many are closing.
Oh sure, the states require ER's to perform
life-saving measures, but that is according to
their own definitions, and believe me that person
is transferred ASAP. Been there, seen it...
And also, MANY ambulances are turned away
because there aren't enough beds available.
I feel sorry for that child - NOT his parents.

Oh, and may I add that they must not be in too
much of a "fog" as they're able to make fundraising
decisions as well as plan their WDW trip?

Obviously this hit a nerve in me,
as the child is at their mercy.
They're the grown-ups for crying out loud,
I just can't imagine the stupidity of their decision.

 

[Magickndm]

I just can't imagine the stupidity of their decision.

Me either, but that's the thing...it was their decision.
If it were my niece or nephew, yes, I'd give every penny I could spare to help, whether their parents had made a good decision or not.

She asked a legitimate question,

Yes, this person did, I just don't think it does any good getting mad about things that you cannot control. This person could channel that energy elsewhere and set up an account at their bank if they wanted to make sure the money was going towards the surgery if it bothers them that the money may be used inappropriately.
It sounds as if the decision for lack of insurance has been made, the poster cannot change that fact.

 

[luvthatduke]

Thank you for your thoughtful answer
and for not flaming me...

I know my post was blunt and harsh,
and I apologize to the parents that read it
that have tried their best to make wise
decisions regarding their sick children.
We have a child with serious health concerns,
and we have had to make decisions that 'pinch'
so I do know what I'm talking about.

My comments were NOT reflected at anyone
else but the OP's family members and their
choice not to make sure their child was covered.

If I can clarify just a bit:
What I got upset about was that too often
I see adults making choices based on
ENTITLEMENT vs. SACRIFICE.

This seemed to very possibly be the case
in the OP's family's situation.
Yes, the deed is done (or not done as the case may be),
and I absolutely agree with the bank account idea!
That was running through my mind as I read all of
the posts - I really was bowled over by the thought
of all the people invited to the fundraiser being
honestly and forthrightly told that "oh by the way,
we're going to WDW in 5 months."
I don't think it would go over too well.
How many of those families will never get to go?
And keep in mind there are several post'rs
on the DIS boards who have mentioned their
2-year plan (or more) for saving up for their
lifetime trip.

I would give every dime I had for my family
if I knew the $$ would go to help a specific need.
We've been down that road, and continue it,
without going into details - but believe me,
when money is misappropriated it makes for very bad blood.

I think about where that couple could have
cut back to be able to afford the insurance premium?

* Do they have cell phones w/"all over coverage?"
We just had to reduce our phones down to the
bare minimum for emergencies only, and would have
gotten rid of one, if not both of them except we're
tied into a contract. That saved us $40 per month.

* Do they have Cable TV, and do they have HBO, etc?
We reduced our cable bill to $12 for their bare-bones
local channel/PBS reception only.
Yes, we miss it, but we know we need to provide for
our DS on a daily basis, and now we find that we can
use that extra $$ to help plan our trip to WDW.

* If they have a computer, do they have cable, DSL or dial-up?
We continue to use the lowest local provider for our dial-up.
Yep, I'd LOVE to have cable, but again it's priorities.

* And for comparison only, are they using an expensive
carrier such as AOL? They could easily go with a lower-cost
carrier with no banners or pop-ups, there's LOTS of them!

* Do they eat out more than once or twice per month?
* Do they order pizza or other stuff in?
If they are constantly at the Dr.'s or hospital with their
son, perhaps the family/neighbors/church could offer
to cook some meals during the week.

* By having the $200 taken our before taxes, as most
employers do, it would really only be about $190
per check because they wouldn't be paying federal tax on it.

These are just ideas.
I still stand by the "guts" of my post, if not the tone.
I am very concerned that such a sick child is now at
the mercy of state and county health-care.
There are thousands of caring physicians,
nurses, aids, etc. that work in those hospitals
and do excellent work - it's the bean counters
that cause the care to decline & who too often decide the fate
of many sick or injured patients.

I pray that someone would have a serious talk
with the parents of this little boy.
I am dismayed to think that the boy's parents
may never know how serious the consequences
could be for their lack of planning.
They need a jolt of maturity, reality and responsibility.
I guess that's why I don't think the OP or anyone
else who knows of the situation should "let it go."
As I said, they don't need to walk around angry,
but they can do something with their energy from it.

Again, please forgive me if I offended those who
posted about their lives, this was never about you.

Blessings...

 

[Daddyto3gr8kids]

luvthatduke, thank you for your post, I agree with them 100% except that I'm not a she...lol! MagicKngdm, no, I'm not walking around screaming mad, I was when I first saw the flier, but after I thought about it, I'm thankful that I am fortunate to have VERY good insurance and 3 healthy kids. I can't imagine what they have gone or are going through. With that said, it just dumbfounds me that they wouldn't pick up insurance no matter what the price. I don't think they are going to spend the money on their WDW trip, but I still don't think they should go so soon, maybe a year or so after the operation, but thats JMO. I can do nothing now about either situation, and of course I am going to give every cent I can to see that my nephew is taken care of. I started this post really to see if I was the only one out there that would be angry about a situation like this, or if I was wrong about feeling that way. I am no longer angry, I'm now thankful, and I say again, I hope and pray for Jimmy's health. I hope you will all do the same now...Thank you all!

 

[luvthatduke]

"except that I'm not a she"

OOPS! Pardon me...

I will keep Jimmy in my prayers...

Maybe you could give us some updates
on him now and again?

 

[roseprincess]

I do agree with luvthatduke and some of the other posters.
I have been there, done that with my dd, she had 3 heart surgeries by 18 months of age. She spent her first 4 months in the hospital, never came home until at 4 and a half months of age. She was almost a million dollar baby, literally. Her medical bills total were over $700,000 for those 4 months in the hospital.
We were on my dh's family health insurance coverage from day 1 of her birth and my dd has a twin brother! So, 4 of us were on my dh's insurance coverage. Yes, it was and still is expensive for family coverage but well worth it.
We never once asked for money from anyone, friends or family. If a friend or my dh's friends from church wanted to give us money towards medical bills( couple hundred dollars at the most), it was a gift only to go towards medical bills, not to go on vacation.
We paid on our own the slack of what the insurance company didn't cover. It took about 3 to 4 yrs. to pay off the rest of the med. bills. We paid for a family vacation on our own money when my dd and ds were 3yrs. old. Nowhere real special, just around town.

Daddyto3gr8kids,
I would suggest if your nephew's parents need a break for a day( sometime after the brain surgery), maybe they can find a family member to watch your nephew for a few hours or overnight so the parents can get some rest and regroup. I would not suggest for them to go to WDW. That is way too expensive. Their son needs to come first. WDW can wait til your nephew is older and stable medically. Like I said in my former post, your nephew's parents can always apply for Make-A-Wish, that MAW will pay for their family to go on the WDW trip. My family and I went this past June to WDW via MAW foundation. This is the first time for my kids to WDW(they are 7yrs. old now).

I would also suggest that maybe some close family members of the parents can keep the parents accountable on how the benefit money is spent( for medical bills, child's medicines, clothing,health insurance) .

I will pray for yor nephew, that everything will go well with the surgery and recovery. I will also pray for the parents, that they can steward their benefit money towards their son's medical needs only.

God bless.

 

[disykat]

Originally posted by roseprincess


I would also suggest that maybe some close family members of the parents can keep the parents accountable on how the benefit money is spent( for medical bills, child's medicines, clothing,health insurance) ."

I think that's a great idea. It will really help them in the long run to avoid any bad feelings. We had a family at church years ago take lots of money that was given to them specifically to pay hospital bills. They declared bunkruptcy on the hospital and used the money elsewhere. While people understood that the parents were in a bad place and weren't really thinking, it did cause some hard feelings.