How to wean your disney addictive 18 yr old

[WDWDad]

Dad checking in, husband of wdwmom;

Thanks for all the suggestions everyone. DD is well aware of the Intern program. We made sure she knew about that one early. She has enjoyed long hours of dreaming which CM she could get to be. I believe Tink sliding down the wire is tops right now. Yes; she is a little daredevil.

We asked this question not because we wanted to exclude her from any vacations, if her schedule allows by all means come along. But life being what it is and points always being in demand we know that her trip oppritunities will be harder to come by. Also as a parent I want to see her taking more responsibility for herself, her actions, and her choices. Her life has been very good so far, but her future will be what she makes of it. She will not be going on our points forever. As our DS's come of age DW and I plan to spend more of our time and points rediscovering our emprty nest relationship.

So please keep the thoughts coming. I am interested to hear what other parents plan to do. Did everyone buy enough points to share with the children as they get older, or how will your plans change? Are you going to share? For how long? At what point would you expect them to stand on their own?

 

[nunzia]

And then of course the grandkids come and all of a sudden your three kids turns into three kids, two spouses and 8 grandkids..never gonna be enough points for that, but we'll work it out!
(ps..we always let our kids take time out of school for Disney and they all survived and had great grades..the tradition continues with the grands..never did have them take time out during college time..bit harder there)

 

[xipetotec]

Ok fellow DVC'ers I helped create the monster how do I deal with it.

My DD 18 will be going off to college next year. We are about to embark on her 17th trip to WDW in the past 15 years. She is starting to understand that this will be the last time she will be going on our annual Spring Break trip as a family. After this she will be included only if circumstances allow, but she will not be allowed to miss a week of classes once she is at school to go with us to Disney. This is going to crush her the first time we go without her. Not to mention that we are dealing with the fact that are baby girl is growing up. We will miss her unbridled enthusiasm for all things Disney more than she knows.

So how have other DVC families dealt with this right of passage. Surely the benefits of DVC have played havoc with other peoples growing families. What were your experiences and how did you cope?

Well I'm on the other end of your situation. and what's worse, it happened to me later in life. As a teenager, I *liked* Disney World just fine. But didn't really "click" into it until later. When we had kids, my mother always said she'd bring the grandkids. Well one day, when my youngest was 3, she took not only them, but us as well! The whole gang ( we had 3 kids ). And well we totally fell in love! Even her! While we were there, she bought into the DVC and well I becamse hooked myself! I'm an associate on her account and just plain die every time we have to leave. My kids love and miss it too, but I'm a bit embarrassed to admit that not nearly as much as I do ... I'd say be thankful you have a teen who shares the love!

 

[bobbiwoz]

...
So please keep the thoughts coming. I am interested to hear what other parents plan to do. Did everyone buy enough points to share with the children as they get older, or how will your plans change? Are you going to share? For how long? At what point would you expect them to stand on their own?

OK...DGM here, and I am never ever going to begrudge my DFamily...any of them, from coming to WDW (VB), DVC with us on our points!!! We have bought and added on so I think we can safely take any of them with us whenever they want. Our younger DS (we have 2) is engaged and offhandedly mentioned to me that SOMEDAY I MAY have ANOTHER DGC to take to WDW. This from a DS who doesn't particularly like WDW, so I was thinking he was probably going to ban Disney things from his house

We have a beach house in Cape May (co-owned with my DSis) and the door there is ALWAYS opened for them and if they can have some guests join them, so be it. We do not have to be there with them, it's OK. We are blessed to share with them.

We don't live in the same town as any family members, and time with them is precious.

We do travel without our family. It's just that the addition of DGC into our lives 6 years ago has enriched us and gave us a new perspective on what is important.

While they have never had a whole WDW, DVC vacation without us our family has been there, in their own villa without us for part of the time. Togetherness is one thing and so is private time. We are trying our best to balance.

You'll find your comfort zone as your family changes, I'm sure.

By the way...we bought DVC for the expressed purpose of sharing it with DFam/Fri for my DM's 85th birthday. It was never just a "couple" thing for us.

Bobbi

 

[Deb & Bill]

We only have one son and we currently schedule our trips around his school breaks. He has been on 25 trips to WDW since the age of 4. Bill and I talk about going to WDW for Flower and Garden (early May), Oct for F&W Festival and other times once he goes off to college (our son is only a sophomore). But I hate to think about not including him IF he could go with us.

Would it be possible to change the annual family trip to a time other than Spring Break?

 

[katmittens]

Ever since my DS and DD graduated from high school we went to Disney thinking it may be their last trip with us for quite awhile. We were wrong. My DS has completed college and will be finishing law school in May and has come on all of our trips during that time. Maybe 10 or 12 trips in 7 years. We try to go during christmas break or the first week of Jan. We have gone in the summer, something I never thought we would do but their breaks made it necessary. This year 2009 will be the first time in awhile that we will be going only once this year, due to alot going on. DH and myself went once to Vero by ourselves and did enjoy it. We have taken DD's Boyfriend with us also to Disney, so I'm sure this will also continue. We love it this way and look forward to our family getting larger someday. We have the points for a 2 bedroom or a GV for January. I do see a problem with DD going to be a teacher in another year. We may have to go in the summer, but the time of year does not matter as long as we are together.

 

[ACDSNY]

I guess we didn't get the memo that says we shouldn't be taking our grown kids on our family vacations. Both our kids, spouses and DGS still travel with us, that's why we purchased DVC. It's also why we're always in a state of borrowing on our points.

 

[Buckeye Fan]

OK...DGM here, and I am never ever going to begrudge my DFamily...any of them, from coming to WDW (VB), DVC with us on our points!!!

Bobbi, that is so very nice. Let me give you a perspective from the other side!

When my husband and I got married, just like many people, we couldn't afford a vacation, much less DVC (we're now in our late 30s). From year 1, my mom and dad (can't drag them to Disney...not their cup of tea ) have rented an ocean front condo every year. All we had to do is get down there (be it Myrtle Beach, Daytona, wherever) and pay for our food (which they usually insist on buying, too!). It allowed us to go, and spend time with them. As we had our kids, they were there to offer a helping hand (and watchful eye!). In fact, we're going to Daytona with them in July, and then the four of us will spend a week at BCV.

I cherish those vacations, as my parents' interest is starting to fade. Too many years of going? Getting too old? Not sure why, but the enthusiasm is just not there like it used to be. Right of passage, maybe. However, it will mean more to your kids than you'll ever know, and is so very generous!

 

[Castillo Mom]

I'm in total denial about the fact that very soon my eldest won't be traveling as often with me. But such is life. His work/school schedule may not mesh with mine (single mom here) for future trips but if he can swing it, he only has to worry about airfare and spending money, lodging will be taken care of. I still have two in HS with one about to graduate in June and the other two years after that. Same goes for them - just get yourself to WDW and bring spending money and that's I'll I'm concerned about.

On the other hand, I'm looking forward to a girls only trip here and there once my youngest graduates HS. I'm anticipating trips to WDW will become shorter but more frequent in order to experience special events like Food and Wine, etc.

Our vacations to WDW are very precious and have become a family tradition. If circumstances allow, I plan on adding points in the future anticipating daughter-in-laws and grandchildren.

 

[jblrn2b]

Why cure the addiction? Maybe you can go on different times - that are cheaper. When I was in college (in the olden days - I realize) we had the whole month of January off - think of the possibilities!!!

 

[bobbiwoz]

...
I cherish those vacations, as my parents' interest is starting to fade. Too many years of going? Getting too old? Not sure why, but the enthusiasm is just not there like it used to be. Right of passage, maybe. However, it will mean more to your kids than you'll ever know, and is so very generous!

OK...it was in the '50s when my (5 years younger) DSis would watch Captain Kangaroo and he would end his programs with a note about the best gift you can give is time. This made an impression on me and it stuck.

My DM didn't drive, she lived in Bayonne NJ and we in Lower Makefield PA and if my DDad couldn't bring her, she would take a bus to a subway to a train and I would meet her at the Trenton train station so she could be with us for some soccer weekends or for piano recitals.

Buckeye Fan, thank you for reminding me that things change and what's today won't be for long. I hope you have the bestest vacation possible this summer!

Bobbi

 

[dianeschlicht]

Well, our "kids" are mid 30's to 40, and they still like to come with us....especially if we pay their way!

 

[jade1]

Been there, done that. What worked for us (DD's college SB was a different week than other DD and DS in high school) was reserving her own BW View Villa and roommates that had never been to WDW. Just make sure one is 18.

DD

Roommates

 

[WDWMom]

Why cure the addiction? Maybe you can go on different times - that are cheaper. When I was in college (in the olden days - I realize) we had the whole month of January off - think of the possibilities!!!

I think she will have a long break during Christmas, but our boys will only have 2 weeks. Never gone to WDW during the holidays and have no desire. We live in MI and if I'm going to leave the cold I want a guarantee that it will be warm I also have no desire to spend Christmas without my extended family and we don't have that many points. Summer is too nice in MI to put up with the FL heat and humidity. And with 2 younger boys, one with a learning disability, we can't pull them out of school. Youngest one I could, but HS around here is too hard to make up after being out a week. I can't see hurting one child academically so our DD can come with us. Now we did do this in elementary school and have no problem with others doing it.

I guess we didn't get the memo that says we shouldn't be taking our grown kids on our family vacations. Both our kids, spouses and DGS still travel with us, that's why we purchased DVC. It's also why we're always in a state of borrowing on our points.

We aren't saying that we shouldn't take adult children on vacation. What we are saying is that for OUR FAMILY it is not going to work out once she is in college. We are not going to let her skip a week to come with us and not taking her brothers out of school during her spring break. We were wondering if anyone else felt the same and how they dealt with it. If you want to be a in state of borrowing points that is your perogative. Not us. We plan to use our DVC for just the 2 of us once the kids are on their own. It also means we may plan family vacations too. We joke with DD now that we will be happy to take the Gk to WDW, but not their parents We've already done that.

The reason we bought into DVC was to be able to share, but not all the time. We have been to WDW twice without the kids and loved it. Looking forward to doing it again.

 

[WDWMom]

Been there, done that. What worked for us (DD's college SB was a different week than other DD and DS in high school) was reserving her own BW View Villa and roommates that had never been to WDW. Just make sure one is 18.

Not going to happen. OK maybe her senior year, but she won't have the money to get down there or eat. She is going to be a poor, starving college student.