How To Tell The Kids We Might Have To Cancel?

[Sammie]

lilyv, this is a good idea. There is a city not too far from us called St. Augustine. It is a really neat place, and for whatever reason, we don't get there too much. Now would be the perfect time. There is a ghost tour there that my kids have been dying to do. We could make a weekend of it. I know we have enough points saved up for Hampton Inn. There is a really nice Hampton Inn in St. Augustine right on the beach. So with the points our weekend wouldn't be very expensive.

Thanks for the advice.

St. Augustine is a wonderful place to visit. We have done the ghost tour and the city tram tour too. Unless the Hampton Inn on the beach has been renovated within the last 3 years I would not recommend it. We had serious mold problems when we stayed there. Definitely take them to the fort and the lighthouse. There is lots of history dealing with pirates, due to the fact St. Augustine is the oldest US history. You can still have a Pirate weekend.

I prefer to stay in the downtown area. I was not impressed with the beach.

 

[Jasminetigger]

St. Augustine is a wonderful place to visit. We have done the ghost tour and the city tram tour too. Unless the Hampton Inn on the beach has been renovated within the last 3 years I would not recommend it. We had serious mold problems when we stayed there. Definitely take them to the fort.

I prefer to stay in the downtown area. I was not impressed with the beach.

Thanks for the info Sammie. I am definitely picky about where I stay. And we have never done the city tram tour either. That will definitely be on our list to do. Sometimes it is fun just to play tourist.

 

[Sammie]

Ok I have another suggestion, if you live close to St. Augustine you are close enough to Disney for a short trip.

Your ghost tour, etc at St. Augustine is going to cost as much as the Pirates and Princess.

How about keeping that, and going for just a couple of nights. Expedia has some wonderful rates right now at Pop Century and All Star and the moderates for $104 or you could even use your points and stay at a Hampton Inn near Disney.

It wont be the Yacht Club but the kids will still be able to do part of the planned Disney things and you can help your family too.

And while SAB is a cool pool, it is over rated to me. I like the pool at Coronado Springs just as well and the Expedia rates for moderates are $104.

 

[stemikger]

Forgive me, I did not read the rest of the replies. There is a lot you didn't say. Who are the family members and how did they get into their problem. It is really not your job to take care of extended family members with money, especially if they got into their situation by not being good money managers. When you get married (your sole and main responsibility is to your wife or husband and kids). Everyone else who is an adult is responsible for themselves.

I'm not saying to not help in other ways, like maybe teaching them skills or donating some old clothes or your time. If you throw money at them, it will not solve the problem. Feed a man a fish you feed him for a day, teach him to fish and you feed him for a life time. Think in those terms and I really wouldn't put your immediate family second on this one.

Vacations at your kids ages are worth all the money in the world and the memories you create will stay with them forever.

Good Luck.

 

[lookingforward]

OP is a generous and caring person!!! Your children will learn by your kind example. That said, if it were me I would rebook for another time. Perhaps a disney travel vacation (if you don't have passes) that takes a $200 deposit and then share with the kids about how you can pay off the vacation before you go. My 17 year old just made $600 on Ebay by selling his cast offs and has contributed most to his car insurance. Money lessons come from waiting, watching and investing in something important. Maybe a family plan for six months from now will be great and your other family members will get the help they need and a chance to pay you back.

I truly admire your sense of family and it's importance.

 

[Jasminetigger]

Ok I have another suggestion, if you live close to St. Augustine you are close enough to Disney for a short trip.

Your ghost tour, etc at St. Augustine is going to cost as much as the Pirates and Princess.

How about keeping that, and going for just a couple of nights. Expedia has some wonderful rates right now at Pop Century and All Star and the moderates for $104 or you could even use your points and stay at a Hampton Inn near Disney.

It wont be the Yacht Club but the kids will still be able to do part of the planned Disney things and you can help your family too.

And while SAB is a cool pool, it is over rated to me. I like the pool at Coronado Springs just as well and the Expedia rates for moderates are $104.

You have some wonderful ideas. I didn't know you could get disney resorts through expedia. My kids have always wanted to try CSR. They like the looks of the pool. They always like looking at Buzz' s pictures when I am on the boards here.

I do have a friend that can get us free passes for the St. Augustine tours, so if I can find a Hampton Inn that is acceptable, that would really help my wallet. I believe there is also a Hampton Inn in the downtonw area of St. Augustine.

Thanks for your help.

 

[steelfish535]

Just another idea....You've got Yacht Club now and Wilderness Lodge for Christmas listed in your siggy. Could these possibly be downgraded to mods or values? This way you'd save a TON on lodging, and could maybe swing the trips? Just an idea.
If not, then yes, i'd definately make sure to use the words "postpone" and not "cancel". Let them know why...that your helping family, and it's not anything else. If they are anything like you, I'm sure they'll more than understand.

I hope your family realizes how lucky they are to have someone who is willing and able to help them. And I sincerely hope you will be repaid and not be taken advantage of. You are a very kind person.
Good Luck, whatever you decide.

 

[Jasminetigger]

Forgive me, I did not read the rest of the replies. There is a lot you didn't say. Who are the family members and how did they get into their problem. It is really not your job to take care of extended family members with money, especially if they got into their situation by not being good money managers. When you get married (your sole and main responsibility is to your wife or husband and kids). Everyone else who is an adult is responsible for themselves.

I'm not saying to not help in other ways, like maybe teaching them skills or donating some old clothes or your time. If you throw money at them, it will not solve the problem. Feed a man a fish you feed him for a day, teach him to fish and you feed him for a life time. Think in those terms and I really wouldn't put your immediate family second on this one.

Vacations at your kids ages are worth all the money in the world and the memories you create will stay with them forever.

Good Luck.

You give some really good advice. The family member in question is my younger brother. He is married with 3 young kids. About a month ago my SIL became very ill, very unexpectedly. She is just now getting out of the hospital. For a while there we didn't think she was going to make it. It is going to be a long road to recovery. So there 2 income family is now a 1 income family. He didn't ask me for help. I offered it. You see their kids and my kids go to the same Catholic school. He was talking about having to pull them out of the only school they have ever known. The 3 girls have gone through so much already with their mom's illness. Things are still not normal at home right now. I just couldn't bear the thought of them having to be uprooted and have more change in their life. They need to have some normalcy. So this was a very easy decision for me to make.

 

[Jasminetigger]

OP is a generous and caring person!!! Your children will learn by your kind example. That said, if it were me I would rebook for another time. Perhaps a disney travel vacation (if you don't have passes) that takes a $200 deposit and then share with the kids about how you can pay off the vacation before you go. My 17 year old just made $600 on Ebay by selling his cast offs and has contributed most to his car insurance. Money lessons come from waiting, watching and investing in something important. Maybe a family plan for six months from now will be great and your other family members will get the help they need and a chance to pay you back.

I truly admire your sense of family and it's importance.

Oh, I like your Ebay idea. Or maybe a garage sale. Before the kids go back to school we wer planning on doing a major house cleaning to get rid of all their junk. I am sure instead of taking the easy way out and just throwing it away, we caould sell it. Thanks for the great idea.

 

[steelfish535]

I'm so sorry about your situation.
Does the school know about the situation? My DD went to Catholic school for two years (the same school I attended as a kid) and there was a period of time when I went through my divorce that I couldn't afford to send her. I went in to tell them I was pulling her out, and they asked me why. I told them the reason, and said how disappointed I was, but I had no choice. They cut her tuition in half and asked me to volunteer as much as possible. I did everything I possibly could for them, and they were great about it. I didn't go in there asking for help. Honestly, I didn't even think that was a possibility. But you never know....they might help in some way. Just another idea.
Good Luck....sending healthy vibes to you and your family.
AND, when I tried to pay them back, they suggested I take HALF of what I owed and give it to the church...and keep the rest to get back on my feet again. They were really fantastic.

 

[Jasminetigger]

Just another idea....You've got Yacht Club now and Wilderness Lodge for Christmas listed in your siggy. Could these possibly be downgraded to mods or values? This way you'd save a TON on lodging, and could maybe swing the trips? Just an idea.
If not, then yes, i'd definately make sure to use the words "postpone" and not "cancel". Let them know why...that your helping family, and it's not anything else. If they are anything like you, I'm sure they'll more than understand.

I hope your family realizes how lucky they are to have someone who is willing and able to help them. And I sincerely hope you will be repaid and not be taken advantage of. You are a very kind person.
Good Luck, whatever you decide.

I wish the word downgrade was in my husband's vocabulary. He really likes his resort time. He is such a hardworking person and doesn't ask for much in life, I kinda feel obligated to give him this one thing. After all he live with three girls, althought he does say our cats are male so he has them in his corner. Hopefully our finances will be back to normal in the next few months and I won't have to disappoint him for any upcoming trips.

 

[Jasminetigger]

I'm so sorry about your situation.
Does the school know about the situation? My DD went to Catholic school for two years (the same school I attended as a kid) and there was a period of time when I went through my divorce that I couldn't afford to send her. I went in to tell them I was pulling her out, and they asked me why. I told them the reason, and said how disappointed I was, but I had no choice. They cut her tuition in half and asked me to volunteer as much as possible. I did everything I possibly could for them, and they were great about it. I didn't go in there asking for help. Honestly, I didn't even think that was a possibility. But you never know....they might help in some way. Just another idea.
Good Luck....sending healthy vibes to you and your family.
AND, when I tried to pay them back, they suggested I take HALF of what I owed and give it to the church...and keep the rest to get back on my feet again. They were really fantastic.

Wow, I didn't even think about having him discuss it with the school. I am not sure if he has or not. Our lives have been turned upside down for the past month. I will definitely mention this to him.

I came here looking for help with one situation and you have possibly helped me with a major situation. Thank you so much!

 

[lilyv]

I wish the word downgrade was in my husband's vocabulary. He really likes his resort time. He is such a hardworking person and doesn't ask for much in life, I kinda feel obligated to give him this one thing. After all he live with three girls, althought he does say our cats are male so he has them in his corner. Hopefully our finances will be back to normal in the next few months and I won't have to disappoint him for any upcoming trips.

Hi Jasmine, I hope your SIL is better soon. Your generosity will allow your nieces to stay in their school, and that is a blessing.

If it were me, I'd do the St. Augustine trip-can't beat hotel on points, pool, and a Hampton Inn breakfast to boot! Then, when it works out, plan the Disney trip you all would love.

Three cheers for two trips instead of one!

 

[steelfish535]

Ah...I see your point on the downgrading.
If that's the case, then I'd totally go for the St. Augustine trip.

I'd definately have your brother talk to school...for a few reasons. They can keep an eye on the kids and take into consideration what is going on at home. You never know when a situation at home can lead to a situation in school. It's always good for them to know. I'd also try to let them know that money is tight. I know it's a pride thing sometimes, but every little bit helps. You NEVER know what the school might come up with. I found out afterwards that there were a few families in the school that had things done for them. I never knew.

I also second the motion for garage sales, ebay, etc. My father and I got together and had a garage sale a couple of weeks ago, and made $500!

 

[Sammie]

You have some wonderful ideas. I didn't know you could get disney resorts through expedia. My kids have always wanted to try CSR. They like the looks of the pool. They always like looking at Buzz' s pictures when I am on the boards here.

I do have a friend that can get us free passes for the St. Augustine tours, so if I can find a Hampton Inn that is acceptable, that would really help my wallet. I believe there is also a Hampton Inn in the downtonw area of St. Augustine.

Thanks for your help.

Yes Expedia does have Disney resorts, just go to Expedia and hotels and put in Lake Buena Vista, FL for your dates. They are offering a late summer special and I was able to get a moderate for $104 which is less than the AP rate.

 

[shoedog]

Well..................unless it was a "critical" emergency there is no way I would sacrafice my kids vacation............charity begins at home!!!!

 

[stemikger]

Originally posted by Jasminetigger
You give some really good advice. The family member in question is my younger brother. He is married with 3 young kids. About a month ago my SIL became very ill, very unexpectedly. She is just now getting out of the hospital. For a while there we didn't think she was going to make it. It is going to be a long road to recovery. So there 2 income family is now a 1 income family. He didn't ask me for help. I offered it. You see their kids and my kids go to the same Catholic school. He was talking about having to pull them out of the only school they have ever known. The 3 girls have gone through so much already with their mom's illness. Things are still not normal at home right now. I just couldn't bear the thought of them having to be uprooted and have more change in their life. They need to have some normalcy. So this was a very easy decision for me to make.

You have to do what your heart tells you, but there is just so much you will be able to help with money. In a situation like this there will probably many more life changing events God willing your SIL stays healthy, I'm sure she has a long road ahead of her. However, kids are very resilient and if they had to go to another school, they would adjust.

If you SIL isn't able to go back to work and your brother can't get a job that pays more, are you willing to keep them in school? These are the questions that need to be asked. My sister is in a very bad way financially, but after looking at the situation, it is very unlike yours. My sister made so many mistakes with money, she basically did it to herself. If you postpone your vacation with your husband and kids and something comes up, are you going to stop going away? To support two familes.

I also have a SIL who is very ill, she is young in her 30s and she might need a liver transplant. However, money is not the problem, her and her husband are both doctors, so we help out with time and help them with the kids. That we know we can continue no matter what the outcome is.

Good Luck. You are a good person for being there for your brother, but don't put the needs and desires of your family second.

 

[pinkerbell]

Can other family members donate to a tag sale as well?? Friends..etc..
I have even had neighbors give me stuff, on the condition if it doesn't sell I don't give it back which is ok, then call big bro big sis or a similar org and they will come and pick it up for donation. Have the kids sell popcorn and lemonaide. We just had our first of a few disney fund tag sales last weekend. Do you have any consignmnet shops, I recently took some of our girls stuff to a place called once upon a child which I was told is part of a chain. Gather any family and friends you can to help raise money, it will teach the kids how to be resourceful, which my parents taugth me, to give is devine, and maybe even still go to disney.
I get totally the giving your hubby the splurge, life has to have rewards that are not compromised...
My prayers are with you all... I will keep thinking

 

[Jasminetigger]

Can other family members donate to a tag sale as well?? Friends..etc..
I have even had neighbors give me stuff, on the condition if it doesn't sell I don't give it back which is ok, then call big bro big sis or a similar org and they will come and pick it up for donation. Have the kids sell popcorn and lemonaide. We just had our first of a few disney fund tag sales last weekend. Do you have any consignmnet shops, I recently took some of our girls stuff to a place called once upon a child which I was told is part of a chain. Gather any family and friends you can to help raise money, it will teach the kids how to be resourceful, which my parents taugth me, to give is devine, and maybe even still go to disney.
I get totally the giving your hubby the splurge, life has to have rewards that are not compromised...
My prayers are with you all... I will keep thinking

Everybody on here is so wonderful with all their ideas. I have a ton of clothes I know the girls have outgrown. Things have been so crazy and stressful around here lately. With everything going on my mind is not thinking straight and the obvious ideas are sometimes a blur.

Thanks for your help.

 

[Alicnwondrln]

Im sorry
I just sent you a PM