Ok, she is one of your best friends and that means you know her pretty well. Is this the first time she's behaved like this? You do say this is the first time any thing like this has been a problem.
If one of my life long friends starting wacking out on me, I would not simply write them off.
Yeah, I'm thinking along these lines too. If the OP'd known this girl for six months and she started acting like this, I'd be ready to write her off as a friend-mistake. But that's not the case. She's known her for years and years, and I agree that she owes this long-time friend the chance to "make it up" after so many years. Perhaps this isn't a friendship that'll transition into adulthood, but she owes her the chance.
she also gets mad that she won't make as much as i will in the future. well, i want to be a doctor, and she wants to be a college career counselor. that was a choice she made and this is the choice i made. it's things like that where she wants to do what she wants and still expects to get what everyone else will even though there are clear rules/established ways that these things work. if she wanted to go into medicine, then she certainly could have. i never talk about being a doctor for the money or anything like that, so i don't know why she always brings it back to that. i love science, i love helping people, and medicine is really cool to me, just like advising students on graduate schools and programs are fun for her.
Maybe you don't stop to think about money, but a kid who's been raised "without" thinks about it all the time. Again, I was that kid, so I know. Whether she's been saying it or not, I promise you she's been thinking about money all the time: Someone asks about going to the movies next weekend, she has to stop and tally up what she has in her account, what she has to pay between now and then . . . and then she can say yes or no.
Stop right there. You have already addressed it with her so you are done. There is no need for any further discussion with her about spring break. Drop it.
Agreed. You've said what you needed to say about the spring break trip. No need to rehash something unpleasant. At best, she realizes that she overstepped her bounds. At worst, you just won't discuss it anymore.
I have a friend who's pretty bad about asking to borrow money (or things), who assumes that what's mine is hers . . . although we get along well in all other ways. So when she brings up something I don't want to discuss, I just turn the conversation in another direction. Sometimes I have to keep working at it, but she's learned that I just won't discuss how I'm paying for my kid's college or how much I have in my savings account, etc.
How about you tell her she needs to get a job, and earn her own way in the world. Seems everyone around her is enabling her "mooch" mentality. If she doesn't have to pay living expenses, why doesn't she have any money? Sounds as if she may be lazy.
If they weren't college students, I'd agree. But in this case, I don't think the OP is well off because of her own efforts; it's because she's fortunate enough to have the financial support of her family. Likewise, the friend in question isn't poor because of her lack of effort; it's because she has a family who can't/won't help her financially. For a college student, just getting by is enough. Give them a few more years to get out in the professional world, and they'll each be responsible for their own results.
Sometimes when people are stressed, they lash out at the people they feel safest with. It doesn't make it right or easy to deal with, but it makes it easier for me to deal with them if I understand why they are being jerks. I agree with a PP - don't ditch a 10-year friendship until you've talked to her about this.
Agreed.
