How to take care of an overworked DH, thanks

[MickeyMomOfThree]

Yeah, I sadi I was leaving, but she's still deciding on what to play and I got pulled back in.

Thanks Bumbershoot, you get me too. I debated posting cause I knew some of what would be said and I worried about it a bit, but I thought overall if I got some good advise it would be worth it. And I did, so thanks to everyone and to those who can relate I am sorry you can but it's good to have people that can. Oh, and like I said 3000 sounds like a lot and it is, but most are P/T.

OP, I think you should talk to your husband about your concerns. Not vent and complain that he isn't here and that your children miss or him or whatever. You need to talk to him about his health and being at the beck and call for personal IT that has nothing to do with business.

Talk to him and tell him your feelings. Not in an ugly manner but in a matter of fact this is how it's been for the last several months. Heck, if you have managed a vacation though, feel lucky. I'm quite jealous.

One suggestion I have for your husband is if he really has all these hours of works and all these projects that need more IT help, he needs to document everything. I would suggest he document every hour, every minute on the phone at home and every time he is in the car going on personal calls. At the end of the month submit a well written very detailed proposal asking for exactly what he needs whether it be a part time or a weekender or whatever to help with the workload.

OP, I completely understand about your worries. Both my husband and I work alot of hours and some weeks when we are 60 workhours into the week, it dawns on one of us that we haven't had conversation besdies goodnight or good morning. We have planned and canceled 3 vacations this year and chances of us going anywhere before years up is slim to none. I get the stress it puts on a family, the entire family.

Sit down and tell your husband everything you are feeling without complaint. Sometimes it takes a nice sit down to open the eyes of the other person. If nothing else, just remember that nothing is forever and that the pace will slow down ya'll just have to get through it.

Thank you, this is the sort of thing I needed to hear. I do know it's not forever, we get in these times where who menus are changing and the different locations are selling all these new things for different prices and it takes up his whole life and then we are back to long but not insane hours again. So there is an end at least for a while, we are in the middle now so there went the vent part I guess. Sorry for your work and stuff, hope yo uget to take that vacation before too long.

 

[sookie]

why in the world would they hire another worker if he is willingly doing all this?

 

[csharpwv]

Agree! As I am a relatively young whipper snapper. I don't roll out of bed for less than six figures. Good help is hard to find! I am sure my current employer would be glad to ram some non degreed employee into the ground for $50-$75K and have them do plenty of menial work, realize that this person IS replaceable. I bring a lot to the table. Sure I can do the $50K job, but I also bring a lot more to the job that triples my salary. I beg the OP to not discount the value (especially in a tough economy) that a degree can bring.

I have dealt with some people, who in our internal IT structure, who pictuure themselves as God like. I quickly remind them, that without me going out and selling and completing my contracts there is no use for local IT support staff. I can certainly do my job without internal IT, but IT is dependent on my consulting $$$ to keep them employed. I subltly remind them, that without me, they wouldn't have a job.

It's important to also remember that if they weren't doing their job reliably, you would be out of a job because no one would want to use your product because it was unreliable.

There is NO job that is 100% safe- and no employee that isn't expendable.

Your reputation relies on those that 'do the work' below you.

One thing that I repeat to myself every day in the office is that an organization is only as good as the talent that it can attract, recruit, and retain. Any organization with constant employee turn over at ANY level will eventually fail. It may take a year - 5 year - 10 years - 50 years - but it is true. This is especially true in the hospitality industry. One bad manager can drive a restaurant out of business in very short order. One really bad stay at a hotel can drive a valued customer to another brand.

I take my salary and divide it by the number of days weekdays in a year (including holidays, vacation days, personal days etc) and ask myself - "Am I being of that value to my employer?"

You can be replaced very easily - especially in this economy where people with a MS or an MA are GLAD to work at Starbucks, Target, or Wal-Mart just to have a job.

 

[Virgderon]

Hi MickeyMom! From talking to you on the no buy thread I know what an awesome mom and wife you are . It hurts to see your DH being worked to the bone.

I am a technical recruiter, and I can tell you that as much as I would like to overlook the college degree, many of the companies that I work with will not. So If I were your DH, as tough as it is, I would not leave a job in this economy. He should continue to look, but not leave until he actually has another job.

I would hesitate to even make too many waves- I like the idea above of keeping track of hours worked and projects accomplished and then talking to management about getting a part timer or intern to help out.

He is being taken advantage of, and it sucks. He is lucky to have you, and it sounds to me like you are lucky to have him. You guys can do this. Maybe he could get his degree online? Having it would open some doors.

 

[lovemygoofy]

why in the world would they hire another worker if he is willingly doing all this?

Well I can only speak from my personal experience but sometimes the top persons don't know everything that one person is doing especially in an organization of that size.

I had to record every minute of my work life for three months and turn in a proposal before another person was even considered in my section of work. After management saw that if I drop dead, they'd be up a creek without a back up and started the ball rolling for a part time person.

It doesn't hurt anything to submit a professional proposal that has every minute of work recorded as a way to educate the management about current work environment.

 

[Vacation Lover]

I've just finished reading this entire thread and I really feel for you. This is a tough situation, and I hope you and your DH can figure out a way to work this out. It's obvious that you and DH are both committed to family and doing everything possible for each other. I think you've both almost gone overboard, though, with not wanting to rock the boat. You don't want to stress out DH any more than he already is, so you kill yourself to do what you can for him. He doesn't want to risk his job so he doesn't talk to his employers about his poor working conditions. They are blatantly taking advantage of him. I think you and DH need to have a heart to heart so he truly understands what his employer is doing to your family. You mentioned that you both grew up with absentee fathers; it's obvious you are doing everything you can to foster a relationship between your kids and their dad, but don't kid yourself: if he's working those crazy hours nonstop, he IS an absentee father. I grew up with a father who regularly worked 80 hour weeks. Take it from one who knows: their relationship with him WILL suffer.

This is what I would recommend. First, your DH needs to let his employers know exactly how much time he is logging in. The Facebook thing is NOT enough. He needs to start logging his hours and what he's doing, especially if it is a personal errand for the owners. Do this for 2-4 weeks so he sees exactly how much time he's working, then he can schedule a sit-down with his boss. If he's too scared to rock the boat to schedule the sit-down, have him log his hours until his next employee review. He is certainly justified in asking for a decrease in hours. Help him to come up with some suggestions he can give his employer to get this done. (Intern, PT employee, etc.)

In the meantime, you can help by doing some research on the labor laws in your area. Find out about the family leave act in relation to sick kids. Also, I thought that salaried employees had to get overtime pay or comp time. You don't mention how many hours he typically works, but he's obviously not getting any comp time. You might also search the internet for some tips on how to discuss touchy subjects with your boss. This might help him to figure out exactly how to say what he needs to say without rocking the boat.

Your DH's employers may love that he works so much and tell him that they appreciate him, but they obviously do not respect him. I firmly believe that people will only take advantage as much as you let them, and your DH has got to figure out where to draw the line. Good luck and keep us updated!

 

[badblackpug]

Not PC but I firmly believe it's true because it makes a huge difference in
My DH when he's overworked- you know how they say men only want one thing? That.

Also, thank him regularly.

This made me laugh, only because it is soooo true! When mine has had a bad week he just want to be pampered and have a lot of attention payed to him, but then he is a little needy.

I agree I wouldn't make waves unless your husband has a firm replacement job lined up. There are, surely, quite a few young people straight out of college, who have student loans, and need a job, who will be willing to do your husband's job, at his salary, and bring a degree to the table, to boot. It seems harsh, but it is true. Your husband must make a decent living if you are able to stay home.
...and on that note. It appears that your kids are in school full time, use that time to get some training or education so that you can help out financially, so that your husband will be free to look for a job that has less demanding hours.
...on time management.... it seems that a PP may have a point regarding time management. If you are bringing your kids to the job, or stopping in, or going for walks, whether you realize it or not you are taking time away from his work. It is a distraction.

I am pretty sure that you must apply for family leave act prior to taking it. It is not intended for those days where your child is sick with a cold of flu or something. I am pretty sure it is to care for a chronically ill family member. I had an employer, once, who said that a sick child was not an acceptable reason to call out. (of course, everyone lied and said that they were sick)

With salaried employees it really depends on your contract whether or not you are eligible for comp time or time and a half. If it is not written into your contract, you don't get it.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

why in the world would they hire another worker if he is willingly doing all this?

We have talked about this, again this morning, and he knows that is true, at the same time he says they are not looking for and IT dept "at this time", not to say it can't change, but for now he feels he needs to get it done or that may be it for him.

You can be replaced very easily - especially in this economy where people with a MS or an MA are GLAD to work at Starbucks, Target, or Wal-Mart just to have a job.

Exactly, people fresh out of college and even some who aren't as recently out but havn't found work would love to have his job, Rochester's unemployment rate is 9.3% so there are for sure pleant of people would would step in and take these hours gladly. He's not going to do a thing to jeapordize it, he knows he's lucky to have it, even if it means working late, working weekends, or changing printer ink.

Hi MickeyMom! From talking to you on the no buy thread I know what an awesome mom and wife you are . It hurts to see your DH being worked to the bone.

I am a technical recruiter, and I can tell you that as much as I would like to overlook the college degree, many of the companies that I work with will not. So If I were your DH, as tough as it is, I would not leave a job in this economy. He should continue to look, but not leave until he actually has another job.

I would hesitate to even make too many waves- I like the idea above of keeping track of hours worked and projects accomplished and then talking to management about getting a part timer or intern to help out.

He is being taken advantage of, and it sucks. He is lucky to have you, and it sounds to me like you are lucky to have him. You guys can do this. Maybe he could get his degree online? Having it would open some doors.

Thank you, he won't be going anywhere and he won't say anything. I guess this thread got away from what I was asking. I wasn't asking if people thought he was overworked or if people thought he was wasting time, I was looking for what I could do to be supportive. We know he's letting them take advantage of him, I don't want to say he's OK with it, but he has accepted that he is very blessed to have a job at all, let alone one that provides well, so he's doing what he has to do right now and when and if something better somes along, he will take it but we aren't there now.

Well I can only speak from my personal experience but sometimes the top persons don't know everything that one person is doing especially in an organization of that size.

I had to record every minute of my work life for three months and turn in a proposal before another person was even considered in my section of work. After management saw that if I drop dead, they'd be up a creek without a back up and started the ball rolling for a part time person.

It doesn't hurt anything to submit a professional proposal that has every minute of work recorded as a way to educate the management about current work environment.

Well he says he has been logging his hours for some time, I didn't realize that because he said it doesn't matter. The things that need to be done need to be done and while none of it is hard, it is all time consuming. I wish he felt that he could push the issue but he does not.

I've just finished reading this entire thread and I really feel for you. This is a tough situation, and I hope you and your DH can figure out a way to work this out. It's obvious that you and DH are both committed to family and doing everything possible for each other. I think you've both almost gone overboard, though, with not wanting to rock the boat. You don't want to stress out DH any more than he already is, so you kill yourself to do what you can for him. He doesn't want to risk his job so he doesn't talk to his employers about his poor working conditions. They are blatantly taking advantage of him. I think you and DH need to have a heart to heart so he truly understands what his employer is doing to your family. You mentioned that you both grew up with absentee fathers; it's obvious you are doing everything you can to foster a relationship between your kids and their dad, but don't kid yourself: if he's working those crazy hours nonstop, he IS an absentee father. I grew up with a father who regularly worked 80 hour weeks. Take it from one who knows: their relationship with him WILL suffer.

This is what I would recommend. First, your DH needs to let his employers know exactly how much time he is logging in. The Facebook thing is NOT enough. He needs to start logging his hours and what he's doing, especially if it is a personal errand for the owners. Do this for 2-4 weeks so he sees exactly how much time he's working, then he can schedule a sit-down with his boss. If he's too scared to rock the boat to schedule the sit-down, have him log his hours until his next employee review. He is certainly justified in asking for a decrease in hours. Help him to come up with some suggestions he can give his employer to get this done. (Intern, PT employee, etc.)

In the meantime, you can help by doing some research on the labor laws in your area. Find out about the family leave act in relation to sick kids. Also, I thought that salaried employees had to get overtime pay or comp time. You don't mention how many hours he typically works, but he's obviously not getting any comp time. You might also search the internet for some tips on how to discuss touchy subjects with your boss. This might help him to figure out exactly how to say what he needs to say without rocking the boat.

Your DH's employers may love that he works so much and tell him that they appreciate him, but they obviously do not respect him. I firmly believe that people will only take advantage as much as you let them, and your DH has got to figure out where to draw the line. Good luck and keep us updated!

Well, I have to respectfully disagree with you. He is not by any means an absentee father. Not sure you saw where I said he has never missed a thing for the kids, he will go to everything, even out for the ice cream after, He isn't available during work hours, as many working parents aren't, but after hours he will work overnights to make up for not missing anything for the girls. A lot of the overtime he is doing is when they are asleep. Thankfully he can function on just a few hours for days at a time before it catches up with him. So no, he's not an absentee father. Any kid would be lucky to have a dad care as much as he does, I would have done anything for a dad like him as a kid.

And I feel that same way as a husband. Last month he had gotten me Bon Jovi tickets. I had wanted to go for 20 years and they were coming to Cleveland, 4 hours from here. He got tickets and had plans to go. Last minute he couldn't get vacation time (it was a Monday show.) So he went in early Monday, worked a full shift, drove to Cleveland, saw the show and drove home early the next morning to be in by non and worked a full day again. He would do anything for us. (On the flip side, last year he had tickets to see the Bills play "his" team with his best friend. The server crashed at then end of the day and that was it, he didn't go.)

I will agree that they don't truly appreeciate him, no question. He's doing the work of 2 employees for the pay of one and they like that, bottom line. I believe they like him as a person too and they might still like him and keep him if he demanded an assistant, but he's brought it up ion several occasions but doesn't feel he can push it. Oh, and the FB thing isn't meant to change things so much as just let it be a reminder. It is done in a lighthearted way, posting "I'm home" when he checks into work. He never did it thinking it was a profesional thing, he's a jokester and figured it would be taken as that but aslon would let them see wow, he really is putting in the hours.

This made me laugh, only because it is soooo true! When mine has had a bad week he just want to be pampered and have a lot of attention payed to him, but then he is a little needy.

I agree I wouldn't make waves unless your husband has a firm replacement job lined up. There are, surely, quite a few young people straight out of college, who have student loans, and need a job, who will be willing to do your husband's job, at his salary, and bring a degree to the table, to boot. It seems harsh, but it is true. Your husband must make a decent living if you are able to stay home.
...and on that note. It appears that your kids are in school full time, use that time to get some training or education so that you can help out financially, so that your husband will be free to look for a job that has less demanding hours.
...on time management.... it seems that a PP may have a point regarding time management. If you are bringing your kids to the job, or stopping in, or going for walks, whether you realize it or not you are taking time away from his work. It is a distraction.

I am pretty sure that you must apply for family leave act prior to taking it. It is not intended for those days where your child is sick with a cold of flu or something. I am pretty sure it is to care for a chronically ill family member. I had an employer, once, who said that a sick child was not an acceptable reason to call out. (of course, everyone lied and said that they were sick)

With salaried employees it really depends on your contract whether or not you are eligible for comp time or time and a half. If it is not written into your contract, you don't get it.

Well of course some of him time is being taken away, but he's rather work till 3am then 2 and get some awake time wit his kids. At no time did I say they wern't a distraction but on those days (more recently) he leaves and they are in bed and often he gets home and they are in bed, so an hour with them is a good distraction. Gives his eyes a break and gived them time together. As for the walks, I believe they are as importatn if not more then the time with kids. He has a condition similar to DVT. His blood is pooling in his legs. He has what looks like large (maybe 3 inch by inch and a half) dark bruises on his legs, they are not bruises, they are pooled blood under the skin. He had one surgery a few onths ago and will be having another soon. This is not something to be messed around with. He needs the walks because he needs to keep the blood flowing as best he can. He aslo needs the exercise because he sits for often 12 hours a day (getting up to take short walks, but IT is sitting.) So yeah, I have mentioned distractions but they are to not only improve the quality of his life be ot literally save it. So is he playing games, no, is he trying to take care of his physical and mental health, he is and those are needed distractions.

I also asked him this morning if he knew that he was supposed to get comp time. He said yes for over 50 hours. He said no one at work takes it though.


He did say that while they are demanding a lot, he really thinks well of them. A couple years ago our morgage was double paid and we bounced our checking account by hundreds of dollars. He was on the phone during lunch trying to deal with it when the ownder walked into his office. He heard and handed my DH $200 cash to help. DH declined saying we had savings we'd dip into but it was nice to know they are there for him in an emergency. He knows they would be there for him in any emergengy that he needed and he appreciates that.

Like I said, I do appreciate everyone taking the time to listen and offer their input. I wasn't asking if he should quit (not an option,) I wasn't asking if he was stupid for allowing this. I was really just asking what I can do to be supportive. I think I have gotten some help there so thank you.

 

[brerrabbit]

I definitely feel for you and your DH. It is a sad reality of the world we currently live in. We are fortunate that our kids are 25 and 20 with one out of college and the other starting her junior year. I work in a job that has me on call 24-7 and carrying a blackberry at all times. It's not a lot of fun but the reality is that my company has off shored a ton of jobs and cut a lot more. If you are not willing to do what needs to be done then the can and will find someone else. I am at an age (51) that jobs are not easy to come by, and I live in the Houston area where things are not nearly as bad as the rest of the country. The reality is employers can ask for and get a lot more from workers because that's just the way it is. Especially from employee's my age because we are just looking for at leat 10 more years to get anywhere near retirement.

Tell him to hang in there and give him all the support you can which it sounds like your doing. Hopefully things get better soon and the economy picks up some although I have a feeling that we will never get back to the good old days.

 

[Trish Bessette]

Well, I think you are doing everything right to be supportive. Simple things like having the house clean, food prepared and your girls needs taken care of are all things that help support your DH. Since he is so consumed with the long hours at his job, it is comforting for him to know that you have everything on the homefront taken care of.

My DH can work long hours too and I know he just loves coming home after 15 hour days to a clean home, dinner ready and our DD's happy to see their Dad. Nothing beats that.

So continue to do what you do. Support him, love him and have faith that things will loosen up with his long hours at work.

 

[lizziepooh]

What are their plans for the job when he has his next surgery? I'm assuming he will be laid up at least for a little while.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

Thanks Brerrabbit and Trish Bessette for your encouraging words. He is there again tongiht so after I drop off DD11 at colorguard the other 2 girls and I are taking dinner up to him. If he can't be at our home, we will go to his.

What are their plans for the job when he has his next surgery? I'm assuming he will be laid up at least for a little while.

No, he won't be. He didn't miss any time with the first surgery. It is vein surgery, it takes about an hour and while there was pain, it did not keep him away from work at all. I believe he had it at 3:00 and went back to work the next day (and remoted in that evening.) It would take a lot to keep him away, he had carpal tunnel surgery on his lunch hour about 2 years ago. He went to lunch, had it done and was back in about an hour and a half, course I drove him so he wasn't driving, but he didn't miss work for it at all.

 

[stichy]

My DH is in the same situation. Works around 70 hours a week at a very high stress job. They totally take advantage of him. He's doing the work of 3 people. They'll tell him he needs to stop what he is doing to do something different immediately and then still expect him to get the rest of his work done in the same amount of time. He hasn't left work before 7pm in I don't know how long. Which sucks the most is that he is so stressed that me is very grumpy and mean when he's home. Don't even get me started about our sex life. He says he's not interested because he is so stressed. SO basicall I am not getting any action until DS graduates college in 15 years since he can't retire from his current job because we need his current salary.

I try and do little things for him. I take his laundry in and try and remember to pick it up without him reminding me. Everytime I go to the grocery store I stock up on his favorites. I make sure all of his doctor's appointments get scheduled and I send him reminders. I also occasionally set up massage appointments for him. None of it helps though. I guess I have to just hang on for another 15 years.

 

[badblackpug]

Well of course some of him time is being taken away, but he's rather work till 3am then 2 and get some awake time wit his kids. At no time did I say they wern't a distraction but on those days (more recently) he leaves and they are in bed and often he gets home and they are in bed, so an hour with them is a good distraction. Gives his eyes a break and gived them time together. As for the walks, I believe they are as importatn if not more then the time with kids. He has a condition similar to DVT. His blood is pooling in his legs. He has what looks like large (maybe 3 inch by inch and a half) dark bruises on his legs, they are not bruises, they are pooled blood under the skin. He had one surgery a few onths ago and will be having another soon. This is not something to be messed around with. He needs the walks because he needs to keep the blood flowing as best he can. He aslo needs the exercise because he sits for often 12 hours a day (getting up to take short walks, but IT is sitting.) So yeah, I have mentioned distractions but they are to not only improve the quality of his life be ot literally save it. So is he playing games, no, is he trying to take care of his physical and mental health, he is and those are needed distractions.
Like I said, I do appreciate everyone taking the time to listen and offer their input. I wasn't asking if he should quit (not an option,) I wasn't asking if he was stupid for allowing this. I was really just asking what I can do to be supportive. I think I have gotten some help there so thank you.

I realize, now, that you are really just venting, but I mention this for 2 reasons. One: you are worried about time spent away from home. Your visits, no matter how well intentioned, take him away from his work. The more work able to be accomplished at work, the more time he will have to spend at home. Two: having your wife and kids hang out at work with you does not present a very professional or busy appearance. If I had an employee who had people visiting him at work, for more than, say, 5 minutes to drop something off, I would not think that they were very busy. It would be my impression that they have time to socialize.

My DH is in the same situation. Works around 70 hours a week at a very high stress job. They totally take advantage of him. He's doing the work of 3 people. They'll tell him he needs to stop what he is doing to do something different immediately and then still expect him to get the rest of his work done in the same amount of time. He hasn't left work before 7pm in I don't know how long. Which sucks the most is that he is so stressed that me is very grumpy and mean when he's home. Don't even get me started about our sex life. He says he's not interested because he is so stressed. SO basicall I am not getting any action until DS graduates college in 15 years since he can't retire from his current job because we need his current salary.

I try and do little things for him. I take his laundry in and try and remember to pick it up without him reminding me. Everytime I go to the grocery store I stock up on his favorites. I make sure all of his doctor's appointments get scheduled and I send him reminders. I also occasionally set up massage appointments for him. None of it helps though. I guess I have to just hang on for another 15 years.

Nope, no way, not at all acceptable. I understand being tired and stressed, but it is never acceptable to take it out on someone else. I could overlook "grumpy" but mean is NOT happening. My hub works long hours in a very stressful job. Some days he is tired, some days he is not terribly talkative (and, trust me, that is a HUGE change for him) but he is NEVER mean. ...and the day he is not in the mood.... There are a ton of red flags here for me, sorry, but I would deal with this situation immediately. He may not have a choice about his job, but he has a choice about how he reacts to the stress.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

I haven't read all the posts -- the number one thing you can do for this man is to schedule a physical with his doctor.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I realize, now, that you are really just venting, but I mention this for 2 reasons. One: you are worried about time spent away from home. Your visits, no matter how well intentioned, take him away from his work. The more work able to be accomplished at work, the more time he will have to spend at home. Two: having your wife and kids hang out at work with you does not present a very professional or busy appearance. If I had an employee who had people visiting him at work, for more than, say, 5 minutes to drop something off, I would not think that they were very busy. It would be my impression that they have time to socialize.

Well, you are entitled to your opinon and me mine. Yes, the time we go up wit him takes him away, but for example last night we went up at dinnertime. It was the first time he had seen our 15 year old since Friday cause she had spent time with friends and he was working (he had seen the younger 2 brielfy over the weekend.) So as I said before of course it takes time away (what maybe a half hour max?) So last night while he ate (something he had to do anyway,) the girls talked to him. So as I said in a PP, it is more important to him to get that half hour with them and come home a little later (when they are sleeping anyway) then to get home a half hour earlier and miss seeing them.

As for anyone seeing, the only person who really is ever seen up there is me if I go up midday to take a walk, and that is for the sake of saving his life, and that is not an opinion, though he meets me outside and we go on his lunch so not sure how unprofessional it looks, but if he dies, we have no husband or father, they have no IT dept, so I am pretty sure they want him to stay healthy. I do not normally take the kids up there unless it's a weekend or after everyone is gone, so nobody knows that they are even there. I think we have been seen there once or twice and it was well afteer buisness hours.

So, thaink what you want, call it a vent, in fact, I will change the title so I don't confuse anyone else, but the fact is many people understood where I was coming from and offered advise that could be helpful without the situation changing, which, as I said before, was not was I was looking for. I was looking for help in the situation as it is.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I haven't read all the posts -- the number one thing you can do for this man is to schedule a physical with his doctor.

You are right, and he is seen on a regular basis because of the condition he is dealing with, but a full on physical, it's bee a couple years. Good advise, THANK YOU!