How to take care of an overworked DH, thanks

[leahjade]

My husband has the same type of job - they even call and email him day and night on vacation. When I was a stay at home mom, I did everything I could to make sure he didn't have stress when he got home. Dinner was ready, house clean and I didn't hit him with any problems that would make more worries for him. I took care of everything with the house and kids so he only had to worry about his job. Now that I'm working full-time, I can't do quite as much, but I work a normal 40 hour week so I still try to carry more of a load at home and with the kids, so he doesn't have to stress out. He does take an hour a day to exercise which has made a lot of difference in his stress life along with eating healthier.

 

[Suellen]

I totally could have written your post. It is frustrating for me and my girls because hubby is so exhausted even when he is with us he is 1/2 asleep if not asleep. His phone rings 24/7, he has had to come home early from vacation, spend an entire vacation day in the hotel room working, pulls all nighters, comes home for dinner and tuck ins and heads back to work.

He didn't get to see 1 soccer game or practice this year.

I couldn't tell you the last time he actually had a day off. Probably about 6 years ago when he started working there.

Bottom line? If hubby doesn't want to make a change to the situation there isn't much you can do but what you are doing now.

We thank him 100 times a day for all his hard work. We listen to him complain about the long hours but never complain ourselves.

Hugs!

 

[prncess674]

I am sure your hubby is great at his job, but I seriously doubt his employer really knows how many hours he really is working. It sounds like the higher ups recognize his value, but they really don't understand how much personal time he is dedicating. Sure he is salaried, but over the next month he should keep a detailed log of all activities and the time required to do such activities. The log should include Time, Date, Activity description, department and work location. He should also note travel time on weekends. Going to management with a detailed log may get him a raise or at least some part time help.

Another option is to get him a home office set up. My company sometimes requires long hours when we are in a go-live stage of a project but it makes it so much more tolerable when I can do it from my home office in the comfort of my PJs. I take breaks with my family, drink coffee from my own kitchen, etc.

It doesn't sound like he has spoken up about the working conditions. Employers will take advantage of employees as much as you allow them to take advantage of you. There are emergencies (company wide computer systems going down) and there are non emergencies (bosses home printer won't work.) It up to your husband to get a bit of a backbone and say that today is a weekend and while I realize your home printer going down is inconvenient and won't be able to deal with that today, but would be glad to look at it during general business hours if that is how "boss" would like him to spend his day.

 

[cassandrap83]

No, he is salary. This wouldn't be an issue if he was hourly. He'd be making double what he was making now and so yeah, they'd just hire someone else.

And it's nice in theroy to say he needs ___oclock to ___- oclock off, but wihtout giving away too much information, his company offices are 8-5 M-F, but they own restaurants that run 24/7 so if a computer goes down, it needs to be serviced, no way around that. We've dealt with that for 8 years, so it's fine, I guess it's all the new stuff that is being added that has me bothered. And sometimes it isn't even work stuff, it's fixing the boss' wife's computer or teaching him how to use his new phone or helping hism write a speech when he gets an award, or even replacing the ink in their printer (this happened on Mother's Day and meant driving to the opposite side of town to replace ink!)

See what I mean? Taking advantage.

Someone can only take advantage of you if you let them.

It is crazy to me that he would even put up with that ********. He is not a college intern, or a recent grad. This makes my blood boil that he lets someone take advantage of him like that.

I hope he look for another job, and hands in his two-weeks.

 

[hambirg]

Uggg, sorry for you, as a single mom going though it I can't even imagine. And sorry you got hurt, hopefully nothing too serious and you will be better soon. Sleep is such an issue, like I said he's close enough that if he needs me to come get him if he's too tired it isn't far, but he has been known to fall asleep in his office mid day.
I do worry about what I'd do if something happened to him, we'd be good for some time because fo insurance but it wouldn't last forever. Unfortunatly there isn't the time for me to do it right now. I know some would say all the more reason, but last year when I took my job it was more trouble then it was worth. Like when DD8 got sick and had to stay home from school and I couldn't find a sub DH asked for a half day vacation to be with her and the boss said to have his stay at home wife stay at home. I wound up having to pull our oldest out of high school for the afternoon to watch her sister.

I believe that's illegal. Any business with more that 50 employees, I think, falls under the Family Leave Act. I do think they are taking advantage of him. He needs to get familiar with the labor laws in your state.

And thanks for the kind words. Getting hurt will probably turn out to be a good thing. It doesn't look like they will release me to go back to that job. I'm hoping that that means they will help me renew my teaching cert. That would be the BEST thing! L&I is kind of strange, but I think I could work, not just at my very physically demanding job. My back is still messed up, but manageable. I guess they have to try and rehab you to go back to the job you were hurt on. Only after they determine that isn't possible, will they release you to find a different job. . .did that make any sense?

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

It sounds like your DH is so busy making a living - he hasn't had time to make a LIFE. I hear what you are saying, I don't totally see it that way, but I get it. We have a great life, 3 kid, very happily married for 17 years, a lot of fun togehter, he jsut doesn't have as much time to enjoy it.

At any point in your life - when work and life cannot be separated - there is a serious problem. I agree, the good part is we are still his priority so he will do whatever he has to to be with us, but then it means working overnight to make up for it. I have a lot of guilt for that but he wouldn't ever miss the kids things or our dates because he doesn't want to look back and have missed out.

This is a VERY out of the ordinary thing to do - but have you considered talking to your DH's direct supervisor? You can do it in a way that isn't complaining - and isn't disrespectful. But in a way that his Sup. knows that your DH's health and family life are being jeopardized by work literally - NON-STOP. No, not exactly but I have done some passive aggressive things, any more I think would be crossing the line. For example we ran into his boss once on a weekedn and our family was out and he came over and said hello and were we ahving a nice time and I said we were trying but it was hard since DH wasn't there and it was more a a family event. He didn't reply. Also when I take himm dinner at night sometimes he will say how lucky DH is that we'll pack up to have dinner with him and I have said yeah we think family dinners are important so we take dinner to daddy or he needs a taste of home. One thing he's stared doing, and I wonder if it will help is the owner's son who DH is friendly with is on DH's facebook and he's been using the checking in thing on FB, the one that tells where yo uare to log when he's there. He only started it about 2 weeks ago when he got his Droid and so far the son hasn't said anything but he was kind of hoping he'd notice and say something to his dad.

If your DH HAS to answer his phone when he is at home - and works 80 hour weeks, I certainly hope he is making $150,000+ a year. If not - he needs to think of a career or at least an employer change. HaHa Ha, not even half that, but honestly this isn't about money (though more would be nice.) We are content with our lives, we have a small house and 2 old cars and have to save for everything but we both value time more then stuff so while making that uch money would be amazing, I'd still rather have my husband then the money. He is a super smart guy, but the little college he has isn't worth much. He's truly an IT guy, he has no schooling in any of it but stunns people all the time with what he can do. The list of people who call him for help is extensive, so a change fo career isn't an option. As for employer, I'm all for that but rigt now it just isn't in the cards.

Having ONE IT employee with a company of over 3,000 is frankly VERY irresponsible on the part of the employer. Ever if there only 1,500 users on the network - that is FAR too much for one person to handle. I coudn't agree with you more. It is insane, but true.

Your DH needs to discuss a few possibilities with his supervisor - College Interns, part time (non benefit eligible) employees, or recent college graduates seeking a 'MENTORnship'. I had several friends on college that were Information Systems majors that really had a tough time getting a job because they didn't have any 'Professional' references who could attest to their work ethic, knowledge level etc etc (aside from college professors who sometimes aren't favored references for employers.) See that is exacly what he'd been thinking, someone who needs to get their foot in the door like DH was not that long ago. He was makinhg next to nothing and we lived on Ramen for a while but it was so valuable in the long run.

Your DH's company may SAY they appreciate him - but unless he is making an executive salary - and has an unbelievable amount of leave time banked - they really don't appreciate him much at all. Again, I totally agree with you, as does he, but again it isn't so easy to change when yo uare the sole provider for the family and don't have a college degree. Many companies don't care about that, but in this market they can be a lot more choosy.

As far as what you can do - love him in every way you know how - and make sure that you keep him in touch with the kids - and then gently let him know that you miss him at home - and that you miss him! I am good at that.

My final piece of advice - you REALLY need to go on at least a 7 night Disney Cruise - where working - of any sort - is NOT at all an option. NO laptop - NO Phone - NO Internet - and the Blackberry is locked in the SAFE! Well, that isn't in the budget but it sure is a nice dream. And even if it was in the budget, he isn't allowed to not have his phone on even on vacation. He will put in a good 3 hours a day when we are away, we went away earlier this summer for a week to visit family and he worked a full day from there every day (and yeah, they still chared him vacation days.) I think they only day he doens't get a call is Christmas, the only day the restaurants aren't open.

My husband has the same type of job - they even call and email him day and night on vacation. When I was a stay at home mom, I did everything I could to make sure he didn't have stress when he got home. Dinner was ready, house clean and I didn't hit him with any problems that would make more worries for him. I took care of everything with the house and kids so he only had to worry about his job. Now that I'm working full-time, I can't do quite as much, but I work a normal 40 hour week so I still try to carry more of a load at home and with the kids, so he doesn't have to stress out. He does take an hour a day to exercise which has made a lot of difference in his stress life along with eating healthier.Yeah, we are very lucy I am at home or I am sure it would be mroe of an issue. He hasn't been to the gym in months and he loved going, I really think I am going to try to encourage him to go over there even if it's midday instead of lucnh and even if it means working a bit later, it is so important.

I totally could have written your post. It is frustrating for me and my girls because hubby is so exhausted even when he is with us he is 1/2 asleep if not asleep. His phone rings 24/7, he has had to come home early from vacation, spend an entire vacation day in the hotel room working, pulls all nighters, comes home for dinner and tuck ins and heads back to work. So y ouget it, that sounds very much the same.

He didn't get to see 1 soccer game or practice this year. Now that is really rough, I can't imagine.

I couldn't tell you the last time he actually had a day off. Probably about 6 years ago when he started working there. Dh had off last weekend but his phone went off non stop. It was nice to have him but I just wanted to anser the phone and say, really, is it that much of a problem or can you maybe figure it out yourself? They call him for every little thing, it's over the line. He says he will have off Sept 11, if he does it will be 27 days straight, last time it was 26. It just isn't right to do that, I have to wonder if not for the lousy economy if they would even try? Now a days peopel are so worried about finding work and it seems like they are taking advantage of that.

Bottom line? If hubby doesn't want to make a change to the situation there isn't much you can do but what you are doing now. He'd like to change it, but now isn't the time.

We thank him 100 times a day for all his hard work. We listen to him complain about the long hours but never complain ourselves. They need an outlet to vent for sure.


Hugs!

Thanks for eveyone's advise, we are getting ready to hang out there for a bit so I will be back later...

 

[sk!mom]

I can relate. My DH worked a similarly stressful job for many years. His employer did show appreciation with a very lucrative salary, perks, and really nice bonuses. It sounds like you are doing all the things I did to help my DH stay sane, except one.

I went back to college and finished my degree. Once I had a better stable job my DH felt like he could start looking to make a switch. He now works in a relatively stress free environment. He makes less money but our lifestyle is much more satisfying. Our family income is more than when he had the stressful job but we're both working to earn it.

Honestly being the sole support of a family is incredibly stressful and is keeping your DH from feeling able to make some reasonable demands at work. Go back to school, get some training and get a job. It may take several years but you'll all be better off for it.

 

[cruisnfamily]

I am sure your hubby is great at his job, but I seriously doubt his employer really knows how many hours he really is working. It sounds like the higher ups recognize his value, but they really don't understand how much personal time he is dedicating. Sure he is salaried, but over the next month he should keep a detailed log of all activities and the time required to do such activities. The log should include Time, Date, Activity description, department and work location. He should also note travel time on weekends. Going to management with a detailed log may get him a raise or at least some part time help.

This! It sounds as if he is very fearful to rock the boat at work but I really really agree that his bosses have no idea how much he is doing. He needs to do this!

 

[prncess674]

I know your hubby is fearful of losing his job, but he needs some time off. Tired, overworkd employees are not "good" employees. No employer can REQUIRE that you take a blackberry on vacation. The next time he takes vacation, he should tell his employer he is going to X location and there is no service so he will be unavailable from Y to Z date and will handle any issues when he returns. I used to be a complete and total slave to my employer when I was younger and would check my BB morning, noon and night. I realized I had a problem when I was standing on the top of Diamond Head in Hawaii and was checking my BB. I soon realized that I am not a brain surgeon and no one is going to die if I don't go to work. Hubby needs to detach and set limits! I know it sounds scary, but honestly the job market is making a slow upswing and any good employee will not lose his job by standing up for basic rights and decent working hours. Salaried employees can expect 45-60 hours a week, but 80+ for months/years on end is being taken advantage of and no employer is going to find an employee willing to do that.

Sure I still take my BB on vacation. I enjoy my vacation and when the time is convenient to me I check my work email and answer anything that is urgent or anything that I can answer quickly that will assist my coworkers. Everything else goes unanswered with an auto reply stating "prncess674 is out of the office from Y to Z and will answer your email when I return on C date." Amazingly nothing terrible has happened. I am much happier and no one had died.

These were the photos from Hawaii that made realize I needed to put the Blackberry away on vacation! It wasn't till I was home that I realized it! Gotta love that totally retro Blackberry!

 

[Local_Girl]

First of all, .

My DH is in IT too. He's had to get out of bed in the middle of the night and drive into work to fix a problem. (Though that happened less frequently after he got our home network hooked up and he was able to VPN into work from home and fix stuff from there. Still meant getting up in the middle of the night, but he didn't have to leave the house and could usually solve the problem in a few minutes ) But he's never had to deal with the situation your DH seems to be in.

I believe the employer is really taking advantage of him. If he is making less than half $150,000 as a salaried employee, managing a network for a company of 3000 single-handedly...they are taking advantage of him BIG TIME. I understand his/your reasons for him not rocking the boat, however. This economy is a nightmare right now and the job outlook is bleak. I think you're doing great things to try to relieve his stress and you've received some great advice in this thread for other things you might do.

My suggestion...perhaps your DH needs to approach his bosses from a different angle. If something should happen to him (Heaven forbid, of course!) and he was unable to function in his job, the company would be in big trouble if they have no one capable of picking up the IT reins, even if only temporarily, especially in a company of that size with a 24/7 operation. It would absolutely be to their benefit to have someone else working with your DH that would at least have a clue about their network. Can't imagine the mess they'd be in if they had to suddenly "figure out" their IT situation because the only guy who knew their operation was gone...seems irresponsible from a business point of view, kwim? Your DH wouldn't be saying that he couldn't handle the job, just that they need to cover their bases so their operation is secure. Just my opinion.

Good luck with it all. BTW, my DH finally left his job with the private international company and landed a job with the US gov't, in IT. He's making more $$ though the job itself is considered a "lesser" tech job. He's busier on the job, but doesn't bring it home after hours. Only occasional OT. He absolutely LOVES it.

I wanted to add...you mentioned your DH's lack of a degree. My DH only has an Assoc. degree, not in IT. He's self taught too. He is taking evening classes now to get his Bachelor's in either networking or cyber security. I know it's frustrating--the amount of emphasis that's placed on education over experience, especially when someone is really qualified and a great employee otherwise.

 

[mrsklamc]

I have to strongly disagree with the person who said for you to go to his employer. Not only is it inappropriate, your DH would be mortified.

DH needs to NOT be personal tech support for the boss either. That's an easy one.

 

[ferrytale]

Similar situation over here. DH's job is very physically demanding (autobody), and work conditions are not ideal. Not poor, but not ideal for as hard as he works. Most nights he comes home too exhausted to do anything, other than shower, eat, watch TV for a bit, and fall asleep. He tells me constantly how much he hates his job, but he is much too hard of a worker to quit without a back-up, and he is too concerned about the economy to make a jump.
I tell him all the time that I wish I made more at my job(he makes 2-3X more than me) so he could find something easier so he would be happy again. I know it is taking a toll on not only his body, but his fun-loving personality as well.
I unfortunately don't have any good advice, if I did we would be following it, but I do wish you lots of luck from one concerned wife to another

 

[prncess674]

I believe the employer is really taking advantage of him. If he is making less than half $150,000 as a salaried employee, managing a network for a company of 3000 single-handedly...they are taking advantage of him BIG TIME. I understand his/your reasons for him not rocking the boat, however.

I have reread the OP's posts. I am sure the OP thinks her hubby has hung the moon and the company couldn't possibly function without him, but that is surely unlikely. I know the OP is very frustrated by his hours but I have serious doubts that a $50K a year non degreed employee is really being requested to support a 3000 plus employee firm unassisted with respect to IT. This is an exec level position ($250K+ position) and there is no way that he is being put in such a position. I am sure he reports to a CIO (Chief Information Officer) and more likely through several supervisor positions above him. It may very well be that the hubby is not very good at time managment and is just doing in 80 hours what may take a "normal" degreed IT professional 45-55 hours.

In the past I have had employees who talk about "working all weekend" and then had them document their time to the hour and amazingly when I had them write it down they figured out that they were wasting tons of time and not really focusing. I also suggest that the OP ask his supervisor how much time each task should take and record the difference on his time log. Perhaps it is a supervisor issue.

Also the OP's hubby doesn't have a college degree and I am sure he is very smart, but there are things that college will never teach you, but also realize that a non-degreed IT guy CAN be easily replaced. Sure the new guy will have a learning curve but EVERYONE has a replacement. If hubby doesn't have the degree a very smart whipper snapper can come in and do what the hubby is doing in less time and probably with plenty of improvements.

 

[mrsklamc]

It I have serious doubts that a $50K a year non degreed employee is really being requested to support a 3000 plus employee firm unassisted with respect to IT. This is an exec level position ($250K+ position) and there is no way that he is being put in such a position. I am sure he reports to a CIO (Chief Information Officer) and more likely through several supervisor positions above him. It may very well be that the hubby is not very good at time managment and is just doing in 80 hours what may take a "normal" degreed IT professional 45-55 hours.
.

I don't know that this is true- the longer I live the more I see that employers are more and more willing to take advantage of people- BUT- I will admit that I did wonder if DH is so busy, how is it that he has TIME to have a facebook page at all?

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I believe that's illegal. Any business with more that 50 employees, I think, falls under the Family Leave Act. I do think they are taking advantage of him. He needs to get familiar with the labor laws in your state.

I don't doubt that is true, but again, he won't rock the boat right now cause he doesn't see any new jobs on the horizon, if he did I am sure he would have said, I'm going home, see ya! The worst part is he can remote in so he could have still worked, I don't know if it was a power thing or what that day but it wasn't happening.

I went back to college and finished my degree. Once I had a better stable job my DH felt like he could start looking to make a switch. He now works in a relatively stress free environment. He makes less money but our lifestyle is much more satisfying. Our family income is more than when he had the stressful job but we're both working to earn it.

Honestly being the sole support of a family is incredibly stressful and is keeping your DH from feeling able to make some reasonable demands at work. Go back to school, get some training and get a job. It may take several years but you'll all be better off for it.

Again, I can't see it happeneing right now anyway. But it isn't not every going to happen, just not right now. I'd have to make the kids give up their activities and he would be crushed by that. He was allowed to do nothing as a kid and loves all that the kids are involved in. And while I agree it is really stressful for one person to be financially responsible for a family, me being home means a lot to him (and me) but I'd do it if I thought it would help. Again, this isn't about money it's about time. If I were gone for work or school we'd have less and while it would be temporary, our kids are going to be gone bfore too long, we want what time we can to be all of us, so while I agree, it just doesn't fit us right now.

I know your hubby is fearful of losing his job, but he needs some time off. Tired, overworkd employees are not "good" employees. No employer can REQUIRE that you take a blackberry on vacation. The next time he takes vacation, he should tell his employer he is going to X location and there is no service so he will be unavailable from Y to Z date and will handle any issues when he returns.
Sure I still take my BB on vacation. I enjoy my vacation and when the time is convenient to me I check my work email and answer anything that is urgent or anything that I can answer quickly that will assist my coworkers. Everything else goes unanswered with an auto reply stating "prncess674 is out of the office from Y to Z and will answer your email when I return on C date." Amazingly nothing terrible has happened. I am much happier and no one had died.

Well, I agree he needs time off, and maybe even he wouldn't be fired if he didn't answer evey call, but it isn't something he is confident in enough to risk. He has been told he has been given his phone, laptop, travel modem (whatever that is called) so there is no reason for him to be out of touch. We only take a vacation every other year, they know where he is where he is staying. It is easy to say to do it but there is no one else, there is a big part of the problem. He is the only IT guy, there isn't someone else they can call. So while of course no one would die, if they lost money cause a restaurant wasn't operational, that would be it for him. And while I know firing for taking vacation isn't legal, in NY they don't have to give yo ua reason why you are let go. I don't doubt you are happier, I know DH would be too!

First of all, .

My DH is in IT too. He's had to get out of bed in the middle of the night and drive into work to fix a problem. (Though that happened less frequently after he got our home network hooked up and he was able to VPN into work from home and fix stuff from there. Still meant getting up in the middle of the night, but he didn't have to leave the house and could usually solve the problem in a few minutes ) But he's never had to deal with the situation your DH seems to be in. Yep, we have lots of those calls too, and many can be done when he remotes in, those are actually the ones I look forward to.

I believe the employer is really taking advantage of him. If he is making less than half $150,000 as a salaried employee, managing a network for a company of 3000 single-handedly...they are taking advantage of him BIG TIME. I understand his/your reasons for him not rocking the boat, however. This economy is a nightmare right now and the job outlook is bleak. I think you're doing great things to try to relieve his stress and you've received some great advice in this thread for other things you might do. Yes, I agree. And there is the problem, it is almost like they know he is stuck so they push more and more. Truth is, maybe they wouldn't fire him, but with no jobs out there, he says he just can't risk it.

My suggestion...perhaps your DH needs to approach his bosses from a different angle. If something should happen to him (Heaven forbid, of course!) and he was unable to function in his job, the company would be in big trouble if they have no one capable of picking up the IT reins, even if only temporarily, especially in a company of that size with a 24/7 operation. It would absolutely be to their benefit to have someone else working with your DH that would at least have a clue about their network. Can't imagine the mess they'd be in if they had to suddenly "figure out" their IT situation because the only guy who knew their operation was gone...seems irresponsible from a business point of view, kwim? Your DH wouldn't be saying that he couldn't handle the job, just that they need to cover their bases so their operation is secure. Just my opinion.
That's a really good idea, and it's been one we have said at home to each other but I am not sure if he has said it to them. Sort of you should be protecting yourself, they might go for that.

Good luck with it all. BTW, my DH finally left his job with the private international company and landed a job with the US gov't, in IT. He's making more $$ though the job itself is considered a "lesser" tech job. He's busier on the job, but doesn't bring it home after hours. Only occasional OT. He absolutely LOVES it. That is great. It's kind of hard feeling like we are stuck here, if the kids were younger but now this is their home. So leaving would be very hard.

I wanted to add...you mentioned your DH's lack of a degree. My DH only has an Assoc. degree, not in IT. He's self taught too. He is taking evening classes now to get his Bachelor's in either networking or cyber security. I know it's frustrating--the amount of emphasis that's placed on education over experience, especially when someone is really qualified and a great employee otherwise. DH has been very lucky to get the jobs he has but now they can be more picky with so many peopel trying for each job. I beleive he's better with many with degrees as your DH is too, but we aren't the ones hiring.

I have to strongly disagree with the person who said for you to go to his employer. Not only is it inappropriate, your DH would be mortified.

DH needs to NOT be personal tech support for the boss either. That's an easy one.

I wouoldn't go to the boss, I might fantasize about it, but if nothing else it would make DH look unprofessional and yes, he'd be mortified. I
'd never let this cause problems between us. And yeah, he shoudn't be the boss' personal support, but again, it goes back to he is afraid to say no cause right now we are living a nice life and he wouldn't forgive himself for doing something that jeapordizes that, wheather it would or not, I can't say, but I can say DH feels strongly that it would so I have to support him.

I unfortunately don't have any good advice, if I did we would be following it, but I do wish you lots of luck from one concerned wife to another

Thank you, and I hope your DH's situation improves as well.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

Someone can only take advantage of you if you let them.

It is crazy to me that he would even put up with that ********. He is not a college intern, or a recent grad. This makes my blood boil that he lets someone take advantage of him like that.

I hope he look for another job, and hands in his two-weeks.

Sorry, I somehow missed your post.

You are totally right, he does let it happen. Again, it's about the needed income, but also, like I said, as silly as it sounds, he likes the job. We drained out savings when his last job ended. We had to give up a lot as people so when they are unemployed and we are hoping to never be in that placce again, so he will continue to look but won't do anyting to risk his job till something is lined up.

 

[Local_Girl]

I have reread the OP's posts. I am sure the OP thinks her hubby has hung the moon and the company couldn't possibly function without him, but that is surely unlikely. I know the OP is very frustrated by his hours but I have serious doubts that a $50K a year non degreed employee is really being requested to support a 3000 plus employee firm unassisted with respect to IT. This is an exec level position ($250K+ position) and there is no way that he is being put in such a position. I am sure he reports to a CIO (Chief Information Officer) and more likely through several supervisor positions above him. It may very well be that the hubby is not very good at time managment and is just doing in 80 hours what may take a "normal" degreed IT professional 45-55 hours.

In the past I have had employees who talk about "working all weekend" and then had them document their time to the hour and amazingly when I had them write it down they figured out that they were wasting tons of time and not really focusing. I also suggest that the OP ask his supervisor how much time each task should take and record the difference on his time log. Perhaps it is a supervisor issue.

Also the OP's hubby doesn't have a college degree and I am sure he is very smart, but there are things that college will never teach you, but also realize that a non-degreed IT guy CAN be easily replaced. Sure the new guy will have a learning curve but EVERYONE has a replacement. If hubby doesn't have the degree a very smart whipper snapper can come in and do what the hubby is doing in less time and probably with plenty of improvements.

Interesting points, and some of it possibly true. But a degreed "very smart whipper snapper" won't do it for $50,000, or probably even $75,000.

 

[prncess674]

Interesting points, and some of it possibly true. But a degreed "very smart whipper snapper" won't do it for $50,000, or probably even $75,000.

Agree! As I am a relatively young whipper snapper. I don't roll out of bed for less than six figures. Good help is hard to find! I am sure my current employer would be glad to ram some non degreed employee into the ground for $50-$75K and have them do plenty of menial work, realize that this person IS replaceable. I bring a lot to the table. Sure I can do the $50K job, but I also bring a lot more to the job that triples my salary. I beg the OP to not discount the value (especially in a tough economy) that a degree can bring.

I have dealt with some people, who in our internal IT structure, who pictuure themselves as God like. I quickly remind them, that without me going out and selling and completing my contracts there is no use for local IT support staff. I can certainly do my job without internal IT, but IT is dependent on my consulting $$$ to keep them employed. I subltly remind them, that without me, they wouldn't have a job.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I have reread the OP's posts. I am sure the OP thinks her hubby has hung the moon and the company couldn't possibly function without him, but that is surely unlikely. I know the OP is very frustrated by his hours but I have serious doubts that a $50K a year non degreed employee is really being requested to support a 3000 plus employee firm unassisted with respect to IT. This is an exec level position ($250K+ position) and there is no way that he is being put in such a position. I am sure he reports to a CIO (Chief Information Officer) and more likely through several supervisor positions above him. It may very well be that the hubby is not very good at time managment and is just doing in 80 hours what may take a "normal" degreed IT professional 45-55 hours.

In the past I have had employees who talk about "working all weekend" and then had them document their time to the hour and amazingly when I had them write it down they figured out that they were wasting tons of time and not really focusing. I also suggest that the OP ask his supervisor how much time each task should take and record the difference on his time log. Perhaps it is a supervisor issue.

Also the OP's hubby doesn't have a college degree and I am sure he is very smart, but there are things that college will never teach you, but also realize that a non-degreed IT guy CAN be easily replaced. Sure the new guy will have a learning curve but EVERYONE has a replacement. If hubby doesn't have the degree a very smart whipper snapper can come in and do what the hubby is doing in less time and probably with plenty of improvements.

HEHE, you are totally right. I do think my hubby hing the moon, but for me only. But I really don't care if you believe me or not, nor do I care what y outhink of him time management. Make no difference to me. I was looking for advise on helping my DH. And as I said before the company did run fine before he was there, course it is much larger then when he started, but I am quite sure they could replace him, if I didn't think so or if he didn't he wouldn't be worried about losing the job, would he? And my DH is only below 4 people at the company, one of which he doesn't report to, on who is his boss and th 2 owners. The "boss" is a workaholic so DH's hours are nothing he's not familiar with and the owners are who call him for personal tech help after hours, so who do you turn to? NAd while yeah, a new person could come and do his job for less money, who in their right mind would? As for better, I doubt it, but I do believe he hung the moon too. ETA, I never said he was making $50,000. I said less the half of $150,000, that does not mean a third.

I don't know that this is true- the longer I live the more I see that employers are more and more willing to take advantage of people- BUT- I will admit that I did wonder if DH is so busy, how is it that he has TIME to have a facebook page at all?

He has a FB from his 20 year reunion last year. It was how they coordinated it. He isn't on there much (I would know, I am addicted to FB I am embarassed to say.) And as I said before it isn't always like this, there are better times but lately has gotten really bad. Anwya, he doesn't go onto FB, I am not sure if you know how the app on the Droid works (I don't get all that stuff) but it has GPS and when he gets to work he hits one button to report where he is. I have seen him do it, it takes just a second. So it isn't like he's logging into and chatting IN FB which is why he's prob ably comfortable having the boss' son on his page, He isn't sitting there commening, checking updates and paying games all day, he's doing it to kind of let the son (who will eventually be taking over) see the hours he's working.

 

[Local_Girl]

I wanted to add...at my DH's previous company they made drastic cuts in the IT dept. due to the economic downturn (went from 10 Net Admins down to 2) while during the same time the company was bought by a European company and actually grew larger. DH was one of those 2 Net Admins, and making less than $40,000 yr. Pay cuts, layoffs, furloughs, etc. were the norm (DH was there 9 years), and he was just happy to have a job. Most companies right now are doing what they need to to survive. That said, he started looking for a new job early in '09, and we finally found one in Dec. Better pay, better hours, better job security, better opportunity for advancement.

OP, perhaps that's something you could also be doing to help your busy DH...help him look for another job. I was online daily looking for possibilities for my DH. Good Luck!