How to politely say "No"?

[allisonswonderland]

See we have a similar problem- but our ppl are arriving the week before. We get there the 4th and our wedding is the 10th. We will have a Tea Party and Rehearsal Dinner and the wedding/reception and the last night we have invited ppl to dinner (they can pay if they want to come) and have dinner kind of a farewell thing- Everyone will be leaving on Sunday- and then we will be there until the following Friday.

 

[robinb]

This problem is one of the reason I am not a fan of the destination wedding. They get the wedding and honeymoon muddled.

I totally agree. When you have a destination wedding, you also end with a family honeymoon. You really can't say "Thanks for coming! We'll see you at home!" when you are all in the same place. However, I think you have a lot of good ideas here to work with to make your honeymoon a bit more private.

First of all, I think it will be very, very hard to keep a low profile if you stay at SOG. I just returned from 10 days at Pop Century with 12 people and they put all 5 rooms all in a row. We always knew who was "home" and who was out and about. Doors were propped open and chairs were dragged out into the walkway so we could sit and quietly chat. It sounds like SOG will do the same thing with your party and will put your room near your BIL's room and everyone else! It is a rare family member who could resist knocking on the door for a visit if they see you are in your room. It doesn't make them rude, but it's hard to suddenly turn off the love and the sharing that went on before the wedding.

I would recommend that you cancel your SOG room and book elsewhere. March is a tough time for discounts, but maybe you can buy Annual Passes for the discount with an eye to returning for your 1st anniversary. Another option is booking a studio at the Wilderness Lodge through a DVC member. It would be 120 points for your 6 nights which would be $1200-$1400 inclusive of taxes. I just called DVC for something else and checked availability out of curiosity. There is no availability at BWV or BCV now, but limited availability at the WL and tons open at SSR. Yes, it will cost more, but you gain in being in a different resort than the rest of your family.

Secondly, I would also recommend having a "Family Day" the day after your wedding and maybe even a "Farewell Dinner" at the end of the honeymoon when everyone else is going home. Make the Family Day and the Farewell Dinner part of your festivities. The Family Day eases the family from the "Let's Celebrate with the Newlyweds" mind set to a "They're on their Honeymoon" mind set, I also like the idea of Farewell Dinner at the end so your family will know when they will meet up with you again and won't seek you out. Plus, you can put "Our Honeymoon" on the schedule right between the Family Day and Farewell Dinner to make things perfectly clear.

Lastly, I am sure that you are sending out all kinds of planning information for your guests. You can stress in one of your next updates that you and your DH will be spending some private time for a few days and that they should make their own dining reservations and park plans.

Good luck! I hope things work out for you to your satisfaction.

 

[Clotho]

I guess it depends on your family. But with mine, hubby and I had a destination wedding in Vegas, and we were all roomed at the same hotel...until the wedding night. We moved to another hotel and stayed there for the rest of our time there (a few days). We made plans to meet with family and friends, went to shows and dinners together. it was a lot of fun! The thing that I LOVED about a destination wedding was what you seem to be complaining about: it's not just like every other wedding where everyone shows up for the wedding adn goes home afterward. Instead, we get to share in the wedding, and then for several days after we get to continue the party! We got to meet for drinks, hang out at the hotel with them...the wedding celebration went on and on!!

Now, should you not want to see them at all after the wedding, I think that is a might bit unreasonable. Howeever, it is ENTIRELY fair that you should carve out some alone time should you two desire it. So my suggestion would be this:

Make specific plans with everyone you want to spend time with -- a dinner here, a show there. Around that, TELL THEM in CERTAIN TERMS that you guys want to spend some time just the two of you, and would they be willing to entertain themselves during those times, so you two can be newlyweds all on your own. I have a hard time imagining, unless they are the most rude and thoughtless of people, anyone saying "no, we have to spend every moment together or we will be offended"!

 

[awesomepinktink]

My daughter is getting married next summer at WDW. To tell ya the truth I haven't even thought about seeing her and her new husband after the wedding. I feel that is their time and if they want to see us then ok. But our families are planning on not seeing them and having our own fun!

 

[JennyandMike03]

I envisioned the similar problem, since we are all staying at the POR (only it's my mother that can be the problematic one). I just told her flat out that this is our Disney Weddingmoon, and not to expect to see us except on the day of the wedding!

This way, she's prepared. And if we decide on spending time with the family, then it'll be a bonus, and they'd appreciate that time together even more so.

 

[ItGirl753]

Actually we're planning on staying with our guests at the beginning, then switching to SOG by ourselves and letting everyone else stay at the other resorts!!! (Because SOG is so wonderful for the $$$ he pays for it! BF's cost is pretty comparable to a value resort) Well that is OUR plan, but we're not sure how others will react to it. I am sure his parents will insist on staying at SOG because they know about it, whereas my family really does not! I figure we'll try to do some stuff by ourselves and make plans to meet up at times.

 

[superdiz]

We are switching hotels the day after the wedding. Our family/friends will be there and we may meet up with them for dinner or breakfast or hit a few rides with them, but they are pretty understanding that it's our unofficial honeymoon (we are planning the real thing to Greece in the spring!) and they want us to have some privacy. Maybe your family will be just as understanding.

 

[smoof]

I think this is an issue a lot of people have. Your family and friends understand this is your honeymoon. Got to say we had a blast on our group honeymoon. We did some things with our friends, and other things ourselves. How many times in our lives will we have the opportunity to be in Disney partying with so many of our family and friends?