How to make it quality time, not ruck march time?

[DisneyAuntie12]

I don't have kids so I try to make the most of quality time with my niece and nephews when I see them (I was recently quite stunned to realize that the oldest, like all children, is - getting big!! Somewhere in the back of my mind I assumed when these little people arrived, they would be little people in my life forever. Who knew they grow up?!)


I have to admit that sometimes it's very hard for me to be 'in the moment' with Disney. There's the temptation to show affection by spending more money, buying more extras, and that kind of thing. There's the fact that I do the schedule and am the only one who knows how to use the FastPass system, so last time I was acting as tour guide, marching us from ride to ride (this is not easy, my family can get easily distracted and go in five different directions). A couple of the kids can be difficult to engage in the park setting (one enjoys it but is slow to warm / a bit withdrawn with new experiences; another never stops moving!) and I feel like I can offer that time if I'm sitting on the floor of the living room playing with them but not really if we're on a schedule at the park.


So my question is - what do you find helpful to really stop and 'connect' as a family during a pretty hectic day? I'm thinking of things like stopping for a snack and encouraging the kids to talk about their day so far; singing little songs together; the 1-2-3 up game (wait, never mind - I can no longer muster the strength to do that one for 45 minutes, lol!), etc. Last time I tried bringing a journal for memories and that was a total fail, so wondering what people have tried in real life that kids respond to in the parks (or the resorts / pools, for that matter).

 

[powellrj]

How old are they?

 

[DisneyAuntie12]

1 through 7.

 

[Nancyg56]

That is an age spread, but I think it can be done. When my DGD was younger she loved to search for hidden mickeys. They are everywhere!!! She and her dad used to take their time and look for them between attractions, and in queues.

WE also did a lot of character Meet and Greets. A lot of people thought that the lines were a waste of time, however we loved them. Once the focus if off of attractions and on theming she to do in between the attractions you get to slow down.

In the MK the steam train is a great way to see the MK, and it leads to a lot of conversation.

The People Mover is another way to simply slow down and enjoy the scenery in MK.

Use pool time as a way to relax and just enjoy the kids.

I did go back and reread your post and I wonder if you might consider changing your mindset about park time vs living room floor time. Time is time. I am a parent, an aunt and a Nana. I valued my time with all of the kids, whether we were alone in the car, making dinner together int he kitchen, or standing in a queue in WDW> The day you begin to believe that in order to get value out of a trip you need to manage a schedule rather than enjoy the experience, there is a problem. WIth the exception of your busy bee, the children in your family already seem to have personalities that need time to open upi to the parks, the stimulation, so scheduling them may be less of a vacation for them, and perhaps stressful. You slow down. Let them take their time, and when they are done leave. Take a ride on the monorail, go for ice cream, go swimming.

 

[DisneyAuntie12]

That is an age spread, but I think it can be done. When my DGD was younger she loved to search for hidden mickeys. They are everywhere!!! She and her dad used to take their time and look for them between attractions, and in queues.

WE also did a lot of character Meet and Greets. A lot of people thought that the lines were a waste of time, however we loved them. Once the focus if off of attractions and on theming she to do in between the attractions you get to slow down.

In the MK the steam train is a great way to see the MK, and it leads to a lot of conversation.

The People Mover is another way to simply slow down and enjoy the scenery in MK.

Use pool time as a way to relax and just enjoy the kids.

I did go back and reread your post and I wonder if you might consider changing your mindset about park time vs living room floor time. Time is time. I am a parent, an aunt and a Nana. I valued my time with all of the kids, whether we were alone in the car, making dinner together int he kitchen, or standing in a queue in WDW> The day you begin to believe that in order to get value out of a trip you need to manage a schedule rather than enjoy the experience, there is a problem. WIth the exception of your busy bee, the children in your family already seem to have personalities that need time to open upi to the parks, the stimulation, so scheduling them may be less of a vacation for them, and perhaps stressful. You slow down. Let them take their time, and when they are done leave. Take a ride on the monorail, go for ice cream, go swimming.

Thanks for the ideas! And yes, I agree that getting out of manager mode is a really positive thing, I just get uncharacteristically Type A when it comes to Disney and the thought of missing a FastPass reservation! I'm trying to make a conscious effort to chill more this time around.

 

[Nancyg56]

Thanks for the ideas! And yes, I agree that getting out of manager mode is a really positive thing, I just get uncharacteristically Type A when it comes to Disney and the thought of missing a FastPass reservation! I'm trying to make a conscious effort to chill more this time around.

Thats a problem, I know ! Book your FP, but always remember they are just rides. On our forst trip with my DGD, it was the frst trip back in many many years. So much had changed. My first husband's sister was woth us to see Kady's experience, and she was a commando. The family was meandering along in Fantasy Land, and she was racing tot he next attraction, me right there with her, hauling my little DGD along. My DH put up with that about 2.2 seconds, and took my bossy little self to the side and kindly told me that that nonsense stopped.right.now. Now I normally do not take well to that kind of thing, however he was right. We slowed down, and my DD and DSIL, and he rest of the fam caught up and we all went on Small World.

Looking back on that trip and all of the subsequent trips, the memories that are closest in my heart are not the ones we made on attractions. That trip I still can see my precious little DGD peeking through the keyhole to see if she could see Tink. The CM took her over and crouched next to her, and hey waited until Poof!!! Tink flew around the room! That child lit up like Christmas!

On another trip she and I strolled the animal trails in DAK while her parents went on EE. It was cool and shaded, and one of the best times on that trip. She had so much to say, and there was no distractions other than the animals.

In Epcot we did Agent P, and that was fun for all of us. It made us explore the WS, and engaged all of us.

These are just a few of the memories I treasure, but there are so many more. We make a plan, know what direction we will head in, and go from there. WE toss out FP if something better comes up, and we never look back.

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

My last trip was with my 7 and almost 2 year olds, DH, and extended family. It was DH's and the kids' first trip, though the rest of us had been before (me a few times). I of course wanted their first trip to be special and it was tough trying to plan and organize and get from one place to another on schedule and try to accommodate so many different interests. Everyone got a bit frustrated understandably.

Finally, we just slowed down and stopped worrying about making sure we fit in this or that before we have to go to this, etc, and everything was just so much more relaxing and enjoyable. We spent more time letting the kids play in the play areas, watch ducks near the water at Epcot and HS, ASKING THEM what they wanted to do next rather than rushing them from one thing to another, spending time noticing the cool architecture, finding hidden Mickeys, and overall just taking in the magic around us. We spent time in lines and at meals discussing what we liked most/least, what we wanted to do again, how and why things were designed the way they were, fun facts about Disney. We let my toddler out of the stroller more and held his hand and let him show us the parks through his eyes. He was our tour guide through some of the trails at Epcot, and though I have no idea what he was telling us, he sure did have a lot to tell and show us! (And mind you, this is a kid who was incredibly shy, quiet, was nervous/anxious in public, and only spoke 4 words before the trip).

It's tough to break out of planningand following a schedule mode, especially when you think about how much you're spending for your kid to chase ducks or dance on a light up carpet and you're cutting it close to missing a FP. Those unplanned moments though are some of my favorites from the trip. I realized that it's not about what you do at the parks, but simply enjoying the time together as a family.

So my advice is to slow down a little in the parks, get the kids' input, allow for unplanned "detours" to have fun, and try to see and experience the parks from their eyes. Point out cool things you see as you're walking, share in their excitement over the leaf they found that they swear looks just like Pluto, resist the urge to be glued to MDE all day refreshing for FP times, and remember that no matter how many rides you get on or shows you see, it will still be a great day.

 

[3gr8boys]

Maybe some of the connecting as a family comes after the magical whirlwind that a trip to WDW usually is. In 2014 we made joint trip with my sister and her kids- with 5 kids and 3 adults with varying interests to keep happy (we did not always stay together), there wasn't a lot of slowing down and connecting.....at least that's what I thought. After the trip, I used memory maker photos and pictures I took to make photo books for my niece and nephew. Looking at those books together was fun....lots of laughs and stories shared.

My family (thinking about recent trip with DH and 2 of my DSs) never actually follows my plans. Yes, we have TS ADRs everyday (great together time) and work around d FP+, but beyond that the kids end up driving a lot of our "schedule" ....we even park hop on a whim.

 

[Chrislovesdisney]

What’s great about that age is that they don’t know what they are missing. If you never even make it to an entire land of a park, they will never be all the wiser. You don’t have to see everything, but you want to see all the details of what you do choose to see. Take in all the details from a child’s eye level. Physically drop yourself down. My daughter and her cousins (ages 2-8 at the time) had a blast at the Lego place at the old downtown Disney, and then creating legos in the hotel room that night. They loved lovingly chastising their grandma over dinner for making them ride it’s a small world 3 times in a row then picking which “country” they’d want to live in. They loved guessing each other’s favorite rides up until each point and how many times grandma was going to cry (poor grandma!). Hidden mickeys were a hit. My daughter finally being able to stand on one foot (randomly, right by Rapunzel tower) entertained the crew for a good five minutes and is a lasting memory of the trip. Bathroom comparisons were a hit. Drawing at dinner was fun. You’d never know these kids never made it on btmr, 7dmt, hm, and countless other classic must-do’s bc the parks were packed ans it was 100 degrees out and we spent more time stalking out a/c than going for rides!

 

[DisneyAuntie12]

Thanks for sharing your experiences and for the ideas all! I will put on a 'breathe' bracelet and try to remember that truly special moments can't be scheduled or engineered!

 

[martikus]

I don’t think you can schedule quality fun. Instead it happens when you take time to enjoy the moment.

Really listen and watch the kids to see what they are enjoying. Don’t rush to the next thing if they are loving the current thing. Last trip DS LOVED watching the pop up muppets show in Epcot. He wanted to stay through three of them - aka over a hour. And we did, just enjoyed the moment. It was highlight of his trip.

Another trip he wanted to ride small world over and over. I think we went 8 times. Maybe not what I’d choose but he loved it and we made great memories.

Pre-kid I was comandO and had fear of missing anything. Post kid I realize trips are the best if we go their speed.

And don’t discount an early night to go eat a pizza by the pool. Kids don’t apways value the evening shows like we do and that is ok. Cause a dinner time swim is fun too.

 

[Suprize2017]

I’m a planner and researcher, but I try really hard not to do too much of that when we go to Disney. Yes, I know we probably miss quite a bit by not doing that. However, the upside is that we don’t know how much we are missing! We do our FP’s and a table service meal mid-afternoon, but other than that, we wander and go where it looks interesting. We’ve checked out shows and things I would have never given a second thought to, but we did it because someone in our family thought it looked interesting. So, I agree with a PP; plan a few things, like your FP’s, but then follow the kids’ lead. Don’t worry about all the things you think they’ll love, so you really want to squish it all in. That can lead to extra stress and in the end, exhaustion.

The other thing we have done (we’ve only been twice though, the first time was supposed to be our only trip! We are currently planning our third one though. We love Disney!) is make the most of our time in lines. An hour wait is about our limit, but even that can feel like forever. We play games. We enjoy the decorations and theming as we proceed through the line. We let the kids look at the map. They check out where we are and look at what’s near us and offer ideas of what direction to head next.

To me, it’s all about the experience and our time together. I hate crowds and hate the heat, yet I can’t imagine anywhere I’d rather go with my family. The magic of Disney is all around, you just have to slow down so you don’t miss it.

 

[saraheliz]

Unexpected fun moments on our recent trip: sitting on random curbs in the shade and eating snacks and chatting, being on LwtL when it broke down for a long time and we had to get evacuated (it was quite an adventure to my kids and they thought it was hilarious), ordering a giant ice cream sundae at Beaches and Cream and eating it together, riding Kali River Rapids in the rain (no line...and we were already soaked and freezing) and laughing our butts off...little things that allowed us to rest and reconnect and chat.

 

[hpsalb]

My kids fall into this same age range. I've learned to make a plan that incorporates some active play - like the Dumbo wait area or playing in the fountains. No long waits for them. And think of the schedule as a guide, a flexible plan.

Less is more with younger kids. They are not impressed with how many rides, shows, or ADRs you can fit in a day.

They also can't go all day without a break. We either do a break or stay the day and head back late afternoon.

I've learned that keeping them fed, rested, and occupied works best for them.

 

[loves to dive]

May be a generation thing but when my son was a toddler and going forward, just being at Disney was enough for him. We didn't (and still don't) run from ride to ride. When he was small we were forced to take our time and go at his pace, he hated strollers so we just didn't use them unless it was real late in the day and he was too tired for words. He would get distracted and want to stop and watch something, so we stopped and watched something. We stood in lines for rides (we started going before FP was even thought of so if you wanted to ride a ride you stood in line) we still do. While in line we would talk or he would point things out to me he thought were fascinating, I didn't have to distract him. We would usually take breaks in the afternoon if he (or more often I) would get tired and cranky and go back to the resort for a nap (again me, he would watch cartoons) or a swim in the pool. For him (and me) just the sights and action at WDW was enough and he was a curious little devil, may be why he is an archaeologist now, so everything was a learning experience for him and we would talk and laugh and play at the drop of a hat. We will still stop and dance when we want to stop and dance, out of the way so people can get by of course. I found just letting him be a kid was what worked and to go with his cues. The memories will be there no matter how you are spending your time, I'm the crazy favorite aunt to my nieces because I didn't try too hard. I didn't buy them things and didn't go out of my way to do the extra stuff because for kids, just being kids is pretty exciting.

 

[disneydreamer1980]

We have a nice, sit down meal every day we are there. Gives us time to ask them what their favorite parts of the day were, talk about the rest of the day, etc. It’s a good time to connect and since most of the restaurants we choose are themed and fun (pretty much all WDW restaurants) the kids enjoy themselves while we connect. Just take time to reflect on the day with them, whether it be a meal or relaxing at the resort.

 

[MommaBerd]

I love all these suggestions! I probably will be hanging out on this board over the course of the next year as we are planning a trip with my brother’s family - SIL plus three sweet nephews currently 4, 7, and 8. I can’t wait!!!

One idea that came to mind when you mentioned previously trying to journal...maybe try a video “journal”! Kids usually love to be recorded and it will make for some precious memories in years to come. I can honestly say as a parent I *wish* we had taken more videos of our boys. It is so easy in the modern age with phone technology. We have a few, and they bring me to tears when we watch them because they only stay little for so long, as you are keenly aware. They wouldn’t have to be long, but maybe just once or twice in a long line, have some questions ready (e.g. What’s your favorite ride so far? Who is your favorite character and why?). I definitely think we’ll do this when we go with our nephews. I hope you have an awesome, magical time where you creat lots of memories!

 

[DisneyAuntie12]

Thanks for the ideas all! I definitely incorporate these into our plans, and into my own mindset, lol!


I think I may also break up the day so that the oldest (who is 7, other little ones are infant / preschool aged) can have some chill time with his dad and gramps and maybe uncle in the evening, maybe make them their own dinner or FP reservation for that time on at least one day. (Not to be sexist, but he's at this age or stage where he kind of wants the 'guys' attention - I asked him if he would want to do some 'guy time' at Disney and he liked the idea so much that he immediately went over to another aunt and asked her if she wanted to stay home and have some 'girl time' on their next visit, just send his uncle instead. All this planning, and us aunties still don't make the A list! Kids. Much humility required!) That will give us more flexibility instead of trying to pack in a day that's going to work for a one and seven year old.

I've learned that keeping them fed, rested, and occupied works best for them.

Something of a side / related topic, but on that note, does anyone know if it's ok to bring a clip-on stroller speaker into the park? My niece in particular is so into singing and music and I think it would be cool for her to listen to Disney songs at the parks... I'm assuming the parks are so noisy and so many kids are listening to stuff on smartphones these days that it wouldn't be much louder than the ambient noise; but I'm not totally sure about that, I don't want to be like blasting a boombox through the parks!