How to help her understand??

[DISLOVE]

I agree that children need to learn to behave without a harnass; however, it might be better to teach the child these lessons at home in small, quiet stores where you have more control and when she isn't hot /tired /overstimulated. At Disney, when she is all of these things, it's time to protect her. It's a parents' responsibility to PROTECT the child first and teach second.

I totally agree with you! It is a parent's responsibility to protect the child, that is the absolute most important part of our job. I feel that the best way to do that is by being actively involved. This is an everyday experience not just in prepping for a vacation. I never let Allison just go and hope for the best. I am an active participant in keeping her safe... by watching and being within arms reach. I know it seems like it is hard but it isn't. If there is a time that I can't pay attention that closely (like when I need to stop at the grocery store and my DH isn't there...), I put her in the carriage and ask her to help me find things by pointing.

I am not pretending to be perfect.. far from it. But I honestly feel that just because something "works" doesn't make it right. Putting a leash on a child might keep them from being snatched up or getting lost... but it is not something we should be doing to children.

 

[DISLOVE]

DISLOVE, I'm not flaming and I respect your right to voice your opinion. Here's mine. I found the tone of your post unfortunate. You're reinforcing the negativity that those of us who choose to keep our children absolutely, 100% safe have to endure.

I'm certainly glad your DD has never gotten away from you but like the OP, you may well see changes in her as she gets older and more savvy. A 3 yr old cannot be relied upon to make safe choices. There have been lots of threads here on the DIS about people losing their children at WDW, most of whom believed it would never happen to them. And all bets are off when you have a second child to care for - do you just have the one right now? If so then please don't rush to judge others whose children's temperaments and family situations may be different from yours.
:

Thank you for your message. I realize that things do get more complicated and require additional measures when you are dealing with more than 1 child. I do have just one daughter right now so I'm sure things are exponentially easier than those of you who have multiple children.

I have to say that I'm not sure what you meant by "those of us who choose to keep our children absolutely, 100% safe have to endure". I keep my daughter safe so I count myself among your crowd. I choose to do this by teaching her valuable lessons (including about consequences) AND by taking an active role in supervising her. I don't leave her to her own devices even when I know she understands the expectations... she is a toddler afterall.

I feel that putting a child on a leash is inappropriate in MOST circumstances. I can certainly understand that if you are alone with three children and need to get the kids loaded into the car, you might have to do something drastic to keep them safe.

 

[nursetigger]

Hi. First off, we all do try to do the best we can for our children. Next, You know what you are comfortable with. In my situation, I have used harneses and now leashes on both my children. They use them mostly at amusement parks and my DD even asked to have it on last Dec. It was after dark and she felt more secure being attached to Daddy (she was 6). Next trip with DD(7), DS(4) and DNephew (16) both kids will have the option of leashes. I just feel more secure. You just ignore the dirty looks and feel secure in Your choice. Good luck and have fun.

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

i have been putting lots of thought into this..listening to everyone..give their opinions..and I have to say. I think its over thought. I don't think either way(w/or w/out "leash") is going to damage a child emotionally or physically. And the people who do use them..I am sure are still teaching their kids to stay with them..and to mind them. I think its just about that extra step of security. (in some cases, for both the parent and the child.)

Thanks to everyone for their advice...I think we are going through some fun 3 year old "stuff". She listens when she wants too, and i KNOW *lol* she knows what we are talking about. If we need a leash or teather to keep her secure on days when she just dosen't want to listen as well as we know she can. Than I think that parents should be allowed to do so with out social dogma and dirty looks from other parents.

 

[abaldacci]

I would hide from my children and watch them until they cried out for me if anyone tried to help I waved them away the stranger thing you know.
I would go to them and love them and tell them never to do that again see what can happen. I took once or twice and they stay within sight of me at all times. I sounds mean but think of what can happen. My dd is 16 now and she is not warped in anyway at all. she is very independant and flew by herself at 14 to go to summer camp in Canada.

 

[AC7179]

I really wouldn't mind walking with her---but she's slow. We go to Disneyland instead of Disney World.....so maybe it is different there. If I was holding her hadn the whole time I would have to be bent over and not able to really see where I was going, navigating crowds. I'm not TOO afraid of her or what she would do (we keep up with her pretty well) but I'm afraid if she walked just right out of reach someone would trip over her, run into her with a stroller, etc.

 

[DISLOVE]

I really wouldn't mind walking with her---but she's slow. We go to Disneyland instead of Disney World.....so maybe it is different there. If I was holding her hadn the whole time I would have to be bent over and not able to really see where I was going, navigating crowds. I'm not TOO afraid of her or what she would do (we keep up with her pretty well) but I'm afraid if she walked just right out of reach someone would trip over her, run into her with a stroller, etc.

AC.. I hope I'm confused by your post... Are you saying that you use a leash to keep her at your speed? Or are you saying that you use a stroller?

Moderator... If my first thought is true, please shut down this thread. I might seriously lose my mind.

 

[JujiD]

My two cents, Your DD said she would stop someone if they tried to take her. If she's as smart as she sounds, you have to prove to her that she can't stop them. My DD, at 5 yrs old thought she could stop someone too. She was taking karate at the time and was learning some self defense. She thought she could defend herself against anyone. So I had my husband pick her up and hold onto her and told her to try to get free. She wasn't even close to getting away. She learned quickly.

ReAnSt's idea wasn't bad, I just wouldn't do it at a public place with someone she doesn't know at first. That might really scare her. Do it with her Dad or an uncle at home and have her try to get away. Explain that if someone wanted her bad enough nothing would stop them, and that the best way to prevent it from happening is to stay with Mom and Dad. Then if that doesn't work, then take her to a store with a person you know but she doesn't, as ReAnSt suggested.

BTW, she's beautiful!


Also, to DISLOVE, In my experience, a 3 yr old can run alot faster than a newly walking 14 mo. old.

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

JujiD:

Hi! I so so so agree with you. Thanks for your post..I was thinking the same thing about the 3 yo running off faster than a 14 month old. I remember my dd at 14 months, and omg, was she an angel. She would stay with us, we let her walk, she would hold our hand...nothing like now. lol

Thats a good idea about letting her try and get free from daddy. I will have to try that one. We are in Canada now..* still have to check my DIS boards..on vacation* lol I hope she is good tommarrow we are hitting Marineland...so keep your fingers crossed for us! We have stroller, tot link *just in case* and have had about 3 serious conversations about holding hands and not running off...so we will see how this goes. Wish us luck!

And thank you for the compliment. We think she is a cutie ourselves! lol

 

[JujiD]

I hope it helps.

My problem now is my almost 9 yr.old thinks she's old enough to do things on her own. She wants to go to different departments in a store by herself, or wait in the car while I run into a store. NO WAY! Not until she's in college!

My fingers are crossed, Good Luck!
Have fun in Marineland!

 

[D L and K's Mom]

Just back from WDW with our 2 year old. DD stayed in the stroller for most of the time in the parks. She is pretty good about walking holding my hand but when she was out of the stroller she was on a wrist strap type of harness. The park is just to crowded for me to take the chance that she will get seperated from me. I also put a little ID tag on her shoe (We made it at Walmart in the machine for dog tags, it is a little pink heart and I put my cell # and the hotel name on it. I know some people do not like the idea of a harness but I just am not going to take any chances in the parks where it is so crowded and she can become seperated from me in a minute. This worked great for us as we also have a special needs son to keep watch over. I had some piece of mind that the kids were with us at all times....no running off or being seperated from us in crowds.