How to handle Mom on trips...

[Allison]

Just remember, you have many, many more years to travel with your kids, and, maybe, someday, grandkids.

That might not be true at all. You never know what may happen with family or job commitments that prevent traveling together. There are lots of other things that could prevent family vacations.

 

[jpwoods]

Please do not make your mom feel bad when you tell her about the May trip without her. If you do (even unintentionally) she may not go on any more trips with you for fear of being "unwanted". I had lost both of my parents before I turned 41 so my children won't have those memories of grandparents going with us places. My mom was a homebody as well, and I always wished she would go and do more as I was growing up and as an adult like other mother-daughters. I wish I had pushed my dad to go with us after she died , or even taken him on a deep-sea fishing trip just the two of us to have those memories. Once your parents are gone, there is no getting that time back. I understand you wanting the May trip to be just the 4 of you, but you could also explain to her that trip is mainly waterparks, relaxing, etc. and you don't think she would enjoy that as much and let her decide for herself whether to go or not.

 

[100AcreWood]

I feel bad for your mom. My dad is not doing great and we know eventually mom will have a big adjustment to make living without him. They have been married 53 years. We plan to include my mom in as much stuff as we can but I do not plan to feel obligated to include her in everything we do.

Good luck breaking the news. I would personally wait until after the December trip but that's me!

 

[Candycane83]

I know it's not going to be a popular suggestion but maybe you could split your time. Accommodate her in some ways by spending some time alone with her and let your DH and DSs go their separate way a few hours a couple of days. I know it's a sacrifice for you and your family but it's one of just a few vacations

 

[cc1013]

The first year after losing a close family member, much less a spouse, is just awful. I would consider postponing/cancelling the May trip before hurting my mom during that time.

 

[4HOLIDAYS]

My mom has decided that she wants to go to visit my father's grave-in PA, we are in FLA- in June next yr on his birthday. I think I will wait until she and I start making those plans before discussing May. She knows we do the waterparks, BCV stormalong bay pool heavy in May and has no interest in that. She is very keen on going back to "see" my dad, as she puts it. Their anniversary is only a week from now and she has already ordered flowers for the grave. So a tough week for sure. My dad loved his birthday, the cake, the party, the gifts so I think we she and I will go then. i am also still pushing for a 2/3 night trip in March? so we can do all the things we usually don't when the men are with us.

I am sure that this holiday season will be tough for her. I am glad she is coming with us in Dec. I want all of us to find some joy and happiness, and I can think of no better place.

 

[Allison]

You are doing just fine handling this OP.