How to address delicate situation?

Ok, I bolded the parts of the story that weren't making sense to me. Google was founded in 1998, kinda hard to google something 20 years ago. :confused3
I was using the word google in my story -- uncapitalized (as you who are pedantic may notice) -- as a generalization for "we went to do research". My coworkers and I were all professional researchers, so this is something we could do in extremely thorough fashion in ways too complex and/or boring to explain but which are akin to today's ease of researching via Google (capitalized). Hence the use of a contemporary term familiar to all as a shorthand to explain past practices. Satisfied?

I can assure you that I was not lying or making that story up. I simply do not possess that sort of imagination.
 
I honestly believe that society seems more rude nowadays b/c so many of us want to avoid offending someone so much, that we put up with BS - I mean seriously. Why in the heck would anyone have to feel that they should put up with being held captive audience to the stunts she's pulling? Fear of confrontation in these situations allows them to get out of hand and I feel safe saying that if it's so far that she's topless at a waterpark needlessly expressing milk while also engaging in foreplay with her husband in full view of the world, it's gotten out of hand!

Right.

Being politically correct takes a back seat to breasts hanging out.

Not only should SIL be directly told to cover up, but someone needs to tell the husband to keep his hands off while in public. Where's his common sense?
 
She is the one that is in the wrong, so why are you worried about offending her?????? I am genuinely confused by that. Frankly, I see nothing wrong with saying something along the lines of 'whoa, cover up - there's no reason for both breasts to be exposed!'

Hello! Next time I see her I will definitely tell her to cover up and if my brother wants to help bring the milk down I will tell him to play with his new toys at home. I was worried about offending them because the way they parent is so new to my family. We had never heard of a lot of the attachment and super-crunchy lifestyle and are making an honest effort to be open and learn more.Before this we knew nothing about cloth-diapering (heard of it, not seen it), home-grown and home-made baby food, co-sleeping, non-vaccing, no-toys, and all sorts of other stuff. I wasn't sure (at first) if this was a case of us needing to be 'open' or them going too far. We are almost afraid to ask Q's about things because we don't want to tick them off, but are honestly curious over some things (like the perpetual diaper rash). YKWIM?

Anyway, next time we see them I am definitely having a little chat with SIL to cover up the girls. I will be also more open to leaving the vicinity. I don't care how many titties I see at work, hers just weird me out.
 

I think this is a good time to reiterate that nursing in public is perfectly acceptable. The mom does NOT have to cover the baby with a blanket/tarp or go somewhere else to feed. Some skin may show, a nipple may be momentarily visible *incidental* to feeding the baby. You wouldn't see this unless you were staring (which is rude by the way!). All of this is normal and expected and protected by law. The OP does not have a bfing issue, her sil is whacked. It is not normal behavior and is not about feeding the baby. Furthermore, sil's behavior is not indicative of attachment or crunchy parenting. These things do not have anything to do with each other. Cloth diapering, making homemade food; all good things LOL! Unfortunately, since so few people bf, exposure :) to someone like this is what people remember and give the regular moms who bf in public a rough way to go. Regular moms just want to feed their baby, and don't want you to stare at them like they are doing something wrong.

Carry on!
 
I bf all three kids- every one of my friends breastfed their children. I have never seen behavior like your sil's from any of them. I have pumped in a car with a group of people and showed very little- and I am so far from modest its not funny. But, c'mon- her behavior is beyond whacked.
 
I just thought to myself, look how far we've come. I'm reading Gone With the Wind and the women practically aren't allowed out of the house when they're pregnant b/c that's a no-no. But your SIL is just bringing us further into a woman's rights to let it all hang out!! :lmao:
 
I BF'ed 4 kids . I even bf'ed in church. My policy was / is if my kids is hungry, I'm gonna feed him, and you need to get over it. However, I NEVER showed anything. Most people never knew I was feeding. I always tossed a light blanket over me. Your SIL is whacked, and it sounds like your brother is too.
 
Very weird!

If it were me in the situation the next time she whipped them out I would say
Do I have to see your ****s everytime we are together? and then leave the room.
 
Very weird!

If it were me in the situation the next time she whipped them out I would say
Do I have to see your ****s everytime we are together? and then leave the room.

Yeah, I would say something like, "can you please throw a blanket over that? No one but the baby wants to see your ****s."
 
Just to clarify, I maintain that babies have every right to eat when everyone else is eating, and in the same place. I also don't think blankets are necessary (because with most active kids they are a PITA), but I do think that making an effort to stay essentially dressed in a public place is common courtesy.

What I'm getting at with this is that I don't think that you have to hide the fact that you are breastfeeding at all. It's perfectly OK for people to know what you are doing, and most people will figure it out by your posture and the fact that your clothing is somewhat askew. (And the cute little wiggly baby feet waving around.) In this sense I completely support openly NIP -- I've done it myself for what amounts to a couple of years. I once had a busybody old lady in a restaurant come up to me and snidely whisper, "I know what you're doing." My answer was, "And your point is?" I wasn't about to go hide somewhere just because she thought that I should. My anatomy was covered (in fact, I was nursing in a sling that day), and that was as discreet as I felt that I needed to be.

The uber-militant take the idea of "not hiding" much further than normal; they feel the need to crusade to force acceptance, and many of them seem to feel that for bystanders to accept they need to witness -- literally. I think that level of exposure is usually unnecessary and when it is unnecessary it is rude.

Also, FTR, Attachment Parenting or even "crunchy" parenting does not mean being a flasher. It also doesn't mean allowing your child to suffer something like 3 months of continuous diaper rash without taking steps to treat it. If she's claiming that the philosophy advocates those things she's handing you all a total load of horse puckey.

PS: If anyone in the family wants to know what Attachment Parentlng is really all about, I suggest you read The Baby Book, by Drs. Sears. That is the "bible" of AP, and explains the philosophy at length. It's very easy reading, too; Sears has a nice conversational style.
 
Isnt there some organic butt paste out there that they can put on the diaper rash? Any old fashioned remedies? Poor little one!
 
Isnt there some organic butt paste out there that they can put on the diaper rash? Any old fashioned remedies? Poor little one!

My mother went NUTS about the rash. It used to be really bad, all the way up to the little guys belly button. She went and got Organic butt paste and slathered the kid when she was babysitting him. She also just put down some thick mats on her floor and let the little guy 'air out'. She has given them 'organic' diaper rash remedies since she knows they are against regular stuff. Both grammas have pulled them aside about the rash. :sad2: Now, the rash is not as bad as it was, but still the inside of his little thighs (right where the diaper meets the skin) and under his umm... equipment... is still red. This is going on 3 months now. No wipes, No creams, no washing with water. They change the diap and just use a dry washcloth to wipe him once or twice and put on the next one. My mother has been silently intervening as has the other gramma and between the two of them have been secretly creaming the little guy to try to get it healed. :lmao: So far SIL has not said anything about his coming home creamed and powdered so maybe she is starting to crack on this issue.

If nothing else we think he should potty train REALLY early. He must be desperate to get outta those diapers!
 
My mother went NUTS about the rash. It used to be really bad, all the way up to the little guys belly button. She went and got Organic butt paste and slathered the kid when she was babysitting him. She also just put down some thick mats on her floor and let the little guy 'air out'. She has given them 'organic' diaper rash remedies since she knows they are against regular stuff. Both grammas have pulled them aside about the rash. :sad2: Now, the rash is not as bad as it was, but still the inside of his little thighs (right where the diaper meets the skin) and under his umm... equipment... is still red. This is going on 3 months now. No wipes, No creams, no washing with water. They change the diap and just use a dry washcloth to wipe him once or twice and put on the next one. My mother has been silently intervening as has the other gramma and between the two of them have been secretly creaming the little guy to try to get it healed. :lmao: So far SIL has not said anything about his coming home creamed and powdered so maybe she is starting to crack on this issue.

If nothing else we think he should potty train REALLY early. He must be desperate to get outta those diapers!


Holy mackeral, these people are out there, what do they have agaisnt water!!!!:confused:

Glad the grandmas are giving the kid some relief!
 
She honestly sounds like one of those people that wants someone to say something. I mean why else would she wait until the check comes, wait until everyone is around, change the babies schedule so it falls when your all around. She sounds like she wants someone to challenge her. And that thing about her husband helping her with the pump, DEAR GOD EWWWWWWW!:eek:
 
...No wipes, No creams, no washing with water. They change the diap and just use a dry washcloth to wipe him once or twice and put on the next one. My mother has been silently intervening as has the other gramma and between the two of them have been secretly creaming the little guy to try to get it healed. :lmao: So far SIL has not said anything about his coming home creamed and powdered so maybe she is starting to crack on this issue.

If nothing else we think he should potty train REALLY early. He must be desperate to get outta those diapers!

AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh. Attacking diaper rash with a DRY WASHCLOTH?!? NOT using WATER?!?
Anybody else think that the first words out of that kid's mouth will be
"OMG!!!!"
[takes breath]
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCHHHHHH."
Poor little thing, it must feel like sandpaper being dragged across a sunburn!

agnes!
 
What do they have against water? Aren't there such things as organic baby wipes?:confused3
 


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