How the heck am I going to get my kid to go to "vibe"

[Cruise-n-2015]

My son is 17 and very shy.
He will never just walk into the club, heyyy here I am! Lol
My 11 and 13 year old will have each other to go to the edge with.
But I really want him to give it a shot and meet some new people

 

[PrincessShmoo]

My son is 17 and very shy.
He will never just walk into the club, heyyy here I am! Lol
My 11 and 13 year old will have each other to go to the edge with.
But I really want him to give it a shot and meet some new people

If it would make him more comfortable, all of you can visit Vibe the first day to get the lay of the land and meet the CMs there. Then he won't be a "stranger" his first independent visit there.

 

[iambrink]

If you join your cruise meet thread there may be others that age you get him hooked up with ahead of time...that is very helpful. Our group is meeting with kids at the atrium the first day at 3:15 to get some kids acquainted...it really helps. the other thing i would highly recommend is going to the ice breaker activities the first night. That is where many get to know each other and get things going for the cruise. The Vibe is pretty cool...DD loves visiting there when there is an open house.

 

[just2girls1]

The clubs have open time where you can go with him and hang out. Maybe if he enjoys video games you two could hang a bit and play and hopefully there will be others there at the same time that you could invite to hang with you two. If video games are not his thing they have a lot of other activities that the two of you could try out and hopefully he will make a few friends.

 

[missyp]

I have the opposite problem. How am I going to get my son out of the vibe to spend some time with the family.
He will love it. He must go to the ice breaker the first night. That seems to be crucial and when they make friends. My son is 16 and loves it. Make sure he gives it a try, my son is shy too, but for whatever reason he is more outgoing and social in the Vibe than he is at home.

 

[Drusilla99]

Ditto, I can't get my dd15 out of vibe. This was her second year in there & she loved it more than the first time! She never misses the icebreaker and we lose her from there.

 

[NCPAWPAW]

We took our son down early in the afternoon the first day of the cruise and showed him around and introduced him to the counselors. After that we hardly ever saw him he loved it. This year he turned 18 and is bummed he can't go.

 

[basketlacey]

I'll second the suggestion of joining a facebook page or meet up thread for your cruise. It really helps when they talk to some friends beforehand. If that doesn't work, definitely have him go the first night.

My dd was shy the first cruise we took. She wouldn't walk in there. Then, on the last night, she did and had a ball. She was so sorry she hadn't gone sooner.

 

[ajgardner]

My daughter is also quite shy and the first couple days it is a struggle to get her to go. She will go for a very short bit and then come back and say she wants to hang with the family. Around the third day she seems to start feeling more comfortable and then starts going all the time. We've only been on 2 cruises, I'm hoping on our third cruise next year she will be feeling more comfortable sooner than the third day. I wish I had a suggestion for you, I know how hard it is!

 

[EskiLvr]

My boys refused our attempts to take them to meet the counselors the first day. At dinner on our second night, our head server asked them what they thought of it, and they admitted that they had holed up in our cabin all day. Lubo told them that they got no more dessert until they went and tried it - and that he had an in with the Vibe counselors.

Would they listen to us? *Noooo...* But the threat of no more Mickey bars got my younger (more outgoing one) to go after dinner, and he loved it - which meant that the Thing 1 had to go see for himself. And then I proceeded to only see them at meals, excursions, and bedtime for the rest of the trip.

(Best part? Thing 2 still talks about the scavenger hunt he went on - which includes getting half an onion from Cabana's - and I have a picture of him and a bunch of his new friends meeting Cinderella. HA!)

 

[ptcbass]

We go off season so there aren't that many teens on the ship. Last time I don't think the Vibe had any other boys so my DS just hung out with us and was perfectly happy to do so. He is pretty shy and laid back so it wasn't a problem but to each his own. Some kids like it and some don't. I do make him go check it out a couple times but then after that if he still doesn't want to go I drop it. Vacations are for family time too right?

 

[Kimosabe]

We had similar concerns with our middle schooler and Edge. She had talked it up months in advance and was happy she could move on from Oceaneers, but we had concerns that her shyness would win out. We love hanging with her on cruises, but wanted to make sure she at least had an attractive option elsewhere, if only when we went to Palo or other activities we wanted to do but that she wouldn't/couldn't enjoy. As others have said, we found a group prior to the cruise of others on our same voyage. One of the administrators got similarly-aged kids grouped together for letter-writing, texting, etc., and our daughter got into the group text for her age group. Admittedly, this group didn't spend a lot of time at the Edge, but they were fast friends who were pretty much inseparable for the next week. They are still texting (nonstop) a couple of weeks later.

 

[Tina_b]

DS is 16 and refuses to go to Vibe. He loved going to the kid's club and we always had trouble getting him to come back to the room to sleep! I'm sure DS would have a blast in Vibe, but it's something I'm not going to fight with him about. I'm just saying, don't let it turn into a big argument and ruin any of your vacation. DS is perfectly content to walk around the ship, eat chicken fingers and ice cream all day and try new foods at dinner. He will also take his 9 year old sister to play putt-putt or do the Detective Agency. I think he can't possibly be enjoying himself, but he always asks when we're going back!

Like some others have said, meeting up with others from the boards is also a good idea. I made him come with me to the meet and he was making some progress with a kid his age, but it got cut short. I think if they had more time to get acquainted, DS would have gone to Vibe with the other boy.

 

[E ticket rider]

My son is 17 and very shy.
He will never just walk into the club, heyyy here I am! Lol
My 11 and 13 year old will have each other to go to the edge with.
But I really want him to give it a shot and meet some new people

The first day/night is the key. There are plenty of other people who are shy and won't know anyone else on your cruise. Convince him to go to the icebreaker events on the first night. The kids will form their groups of "friends" in those first few hours. After that it will be harder to blend in to a group, especially if he's shy.

 

[hrhdhd]

If your son is not just shy but an introvert, he should be allowed to make his own decisions about where to spend his time. It is hard for an extrovert to understand the need for an introvert to have some space and alone time (why wouldn't someone want to meet new people?). However, being in a group of people, particularly new people, for an extended period is stressful and unenjoyable for an introvert.

The book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking is an interesting look at the negative effects of team-building, group activities, open office spaces, etc., on the 30% or so of the population who are introverts. I know you're asking a simple question about clubs on the ship, but for the longer term, the book might be eye-opening for you (and your son)!

 

[Dave2425]

Get him involved with your cruise group. On previous cruises, kids in the groups have used Facetime, Skype and social media to get to know each other prior to cruising.

 

[jetskigrl]

My DD has never cared for the clubs. She is pretty shy too so she is not comfortable going on her own. On our Fantasy cruise, we took her BFF with us so that she would have someone to hang out with. They both went to Vibe on the first night, met one new friend and then proceeded to not go back for the rest of the cruise. LOL - DD hangs out with people like her so her BFF had no interest in going either. But at least they still had fun doing stuff together around the ship.

Her brother has no problem hanging out in the clubs by himself so he comes and goes all the time. I'm looking forward to getting DD on one of the ships after her 18th birthday so that she can hang out with me in the adult areas I know she will enjoy Palo and also getting to relax by the adult pool.

 

[Meeko28]

A lot of the same advice applies to adults too. My hubby is pretty shy, not an introvert really, but shy. The best thing we did were the icebreakers and the activities. I would suggest you have him go to the icebreaker event, and if it doesnt click there, then see if he'll go to 1-2 of the scheduled activities in the club. I know that I saw some cool activities on the navigator that I wanted to do too. I'm only 26, but i don't think i can pass for 16 lol. I really think that walking in on day 1 with him would be good. You can use the time to explore the cool stuff for yourself too! Visit all the kids areas, so he doesnt feel like you're escorting him like a small child. He may be a bit more shy, but others arent. There will most likely be someone there during an activity that says "hey, we need a 4th, want to join?".

 

[seelyt2]

My DS17 and DD13 are the same - - sooooo quiet and shy. They gave their respective clubs a shot but it wasn't for them; to each their own. They had a blast, though, doing the detective game and watching movies, but they did have each other. I agree with the previous posters to go in during the open house time to get acquainted with other kids and staff. Either way, I'm sure your kids will have a blast.

 

[Cruise-n-2015]

My son is shy by no means and introvert, I would never push any of my children to do anything that would be damaging emotionally or mentally.
once he is in the club and had met a new friend or two he will have a blast. It getting him to try the "new" thing that's the challenge.
Once he is there and comfortable I am sure the CM's will be paging us to come get him!