How Romantic is your Spouse?

[Pooh_Friend#1]

Yes and no. I was going to say a firm no but after reading some of these posts he is, sort of. He always opens doors for me, kisses me on the forehead or cheek while I am sleeping and he has to go to work early, holds my hand everywhere we go, sneaks in kisses out in public, and always vacuums because he knows I hate it.

Unfortunately when I am feeling sick and don't want to cook dinner, he usually won't make anything and then I get hungry so I make something later and he adds on, "make me that too". I wish he would step up and cook dinner when I am not feeling well without telling him. We have talked about it before but it never sticks with him.

His thing this weekend was that he cleaned all the bathrooms.....when I went in, stuff was still dirty so I asked him about it. He replied with, well I wiped down around the sink. What happened to the toilet, bathtub, shower, and sink bowl.....are they not a part of the bathroom?

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

So how important is Romance to everyone??
Conventional or Unconventional....???

It's pretty important to me, so I better be getting some soon. lol

 

[disykat]

what do you do when it is your DW that is not romantic? I had a standing order for flowers to be sent to her once and M. What do I get " what are these for?", "I wish you would quit it( the flowers)", " I can open my own door". I stoped the flowers, quit opening doors. Mine just does not get it, you can be romantic and not expect sex, big difference. This was when we were dating. Yes, I married her. Thought things would change as we got older and she would see and want little thing to show "I love You". Boy was I wrong, The old saying is right, dont expect to change them after you have got married.

Maybe she just needs a different kind of romantic. While I like having doors opened for me, I don't really consider it romantic. I really don't enjoy flowers or jewelry - it's just not me and I feel it's wasting money to keep getting me something I only tolerate because it's someone else's notion of romantic. Romantic to me is when my dh goes out of his way to figure out what I would enjoy. A neck rub, dinner reservations, an evening walk together, sitting down with me to watch a tv show or movie just because he knows it's one I like, etc. Romance is not cookie cutter!

 

[J.Cooper]

I'm spoiled. We've been married 11 yrs and together since high school. DH does a LOT around the house. He will even cook dinner. Pumps my gas, warms up the car for me in the morning before I go to work, cleans the bathroom (I hate cleaning the bathroom), always buys me something for Xmas, Birthday, Valentines day, Anniversary. We usually go out of town for our anniversary. One year he surprised me with a 2 week vacation to Maui

 

[Alicnwondrln]

no not all

 

[tnhillbilly]

Maybe she just needs a different kind of romantic. While I like having doors opened for me, I don't really consider it romantic. I really don't enjoy flowers or jewelry - it's just not me and I feel it's wasting money to keep getting me something I only tolerate because it's someone else's notion of romantic. Romantic to me is when my dh goes out of his way to figure out what I would enjoy. A neck rub, dinner reservations, an evening walk together, sitting down with me to watch a tv show or movie just because he knows it's one I like, etc. Romance is not cookie cutter!

Thanks,
we have been married for 12 yrs. dated for 1 1/2 yrs. and worked together for 3 before that. Yes I married my best friend. You and SRUAlmn (Karen) both sound alot like her. I have tried everything on this board and some thing that are not, bath ready when she came home, cooked her favorite meal. we do not have the usual marrage. I am a SAHD and she is out in the work force. This is by her choice before someone thinks Bad of me. I was raised in a single parent household for a time and had the skills to run a household. She was raised by two working parents that had someone to take care of the house and yard, went out to eat, were on first name basis with the drycleaners. The skills for a household were not there. We both worked until about 2 yrs. ago. The stress of us both working was taking its toll on her, me and our ds. She made over twice what I made and put in half the hrs. she asked me about it and I quit 1m. after. I keep the house, the yard, laundry, cook, clean, do dishes. I make it to where when she is off she does not need or haft to do anything except enjoy her son and me. Anything I do that most people would think was romantic don't work. I have gotten game tickets ( she is a sports nut, I could care less) out to eat after the game. Supprise trips. I am beginng to wonder if some married people loose there romance while raising children and then when they get older it comes back. Thanks for putting up with the rant.

 

[disykat]

It's a weird thought, but I think you are going through the "taken for granted" problem that is usually seen by SAHM's (and working moms as well!). I'm a SAHP too and I know that dh considers many of these things my "job" so he forgets to appreciate. I've had to nudge him (often!) and remind that I don't get work feedback - like paychecks, satisfied customers, or annual reviews - and I miss the affirmation that provides. I think I miss that more than (and I suppose in addition to) romance.

 

[SRUAlmn]

Thanks,
we have been married for 12 yrs. dated for 1 1/2 yrs. and worked together for 3 before that. Yes I married my best friend. You and SRUAlmn (Karen) both sound alot like her. I have tried everything on this board and some thing that are not, bath ready when she came home, cooked her favorite meal. we do not have the usual marrage. I am a SAHD and she is out in the work force. This is by her choice before someone thinks Bad of me. I was raised in a single parent household for a time and had the skills to run a household. She was raised by two working parents that had someone to take care of the house and yard, went out to eat, were on first name basis with the drycleaners. The skills for a household were not there. We both worked until about 2 yrs. ago. The stress of us both working was taking its toll on her, me and our ds. She made over twice what I made and put in half the hrs. she asked me about it and I quit 1m. after. I keep the house, the yard, laundry, cook, clean, do dishes. I make it to where when she is off she does not need or haft to do anything except enjoy her son and me. Anything I do that most people would think was romantic don't work. I have gotten game tickets ( she is a sports nut, I could care less) out to eat after the game. Supprise trips. I am beginng to wonder if some married people loose there romance while raising children and then when they get older it comes back. Thanks for putting up with the rant.

Have your wife sit down and watch Desperate Housewives with you and have her pay special attention to Lynette and her husband's relationship

 

[tnhillbilly]

Have your wife sit down and watch Desperate Housewives with you and have her pay special attention to Lynette and her husband's relationship

You have made my night. I was watching the last episode of season 1 before they started and she comes into the room and wants to know why I am watch "that womans program. She just don't get what some one gets out of it" well that was when things got funny I asked her what she got out of the ball game she just got thru watching. Needless to say it was a long, quiet night here. I do much better than Lynette's husband at keeping house if I do say so myself. Or at least before the mouse. I think both of you are right the way she was raised, and me, and I guess I do sorta feel taken for granted. How many other men give up there life to raise a family. Only SAHD that I know of in this neighbor hood, or small town.

 

[sm4987]

Romance, there is such a thing as romance I guess after 11 years of marriage, romance doesn't live here anymore. I guess I'll just sit here and wait for my Cinderella dvd so I can see some kind of love!

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

I guess everyone's view on romance is different. My ex didn't have a romantic bone in his body. It was almost as if he was ashamed to be seen with me. People even commented how little we had to do with each other when in public.

My dbf isn't the most romantic person in the world, but I find it very romantic that he holds my hand in public or puts his arm around me. He'll even kiss me in public. It's foreign to me and I love every second of it. I don't need flowers or chocolates...I'm fine with just feeling attractive and loved.

 

[nomie74]

My DH does little things like when he give me a card, he'll personalize it with photos and extra verses. And he scored big points when for our 1st anniversay (paper) he got me the framed Disney stock, he new nothing of disney world before we met.