How much $ would you spend on a First Communion Party?

[btass]

Preface: If anyone is at all offended with what I am going to say I apologize now. I am saying it as I see it living in a very wealthy community when I am not wealthy.

So, here it goes:
My DS6 will be starting CCD in May. I am not Catholic, my husband is. I am not Italian, my DH is. I do understand religiously why it is such a big deal that DS has his first communion. I don't understand why I need to invite tons of people to a catered hall with a DJ and open bar. My DH says we have to do it "because" (I figured that one out his mom says we do but we have to pay).

From what I have seen in this community, if you are Italian and Catholic, you spend as much on a First Communion as on a Wedding. And frankly, I don't see why we couldn't just go for pizza somewhere with just immediate family and then call it a day.

Please let me know what you would or have spent on a First Commuinion Party for your child, I am dying to see what the rest of the country, or for that fact the world does.

Sometimes I think we live in this really wierd bubble made out of money and I have totally lost touch with reality.

 

[Missy1961]

I am Italian, and I am Catholic and I have NEVER been to a First Communion Party like the ones you're describing. Yes, we have parties, but usually, the family gets together. If your home is big enough, you have the party there. Nothing too much, maybe some deli trays or hot food. If your home isn't big enough then you had the party at a restaurant.

I do think you need to do more than "have some pizza and call it a day" but less than a full fledged party in a hall with a DJ.

 

[the kabuki]

My DH is also Italian-straight off the boat from Sicily- we live in an area that has a huge Italian population, for the most part well-to-do,we've been married 13 years and have only been to 2 parties like that, most times it's usually immediate family going to a nice restaurant for dinner after the church. My son is making his first this April, and we're having about 30 people, which for us is our immediate family and godparents. Figuring on spending about $800 for the dinner, if I can remember correctly from my daughter's communion. But that's dinner, drinks, dessert, tips, the whole shebang. At least his suit will be less than my daughter's communion dress was, I hope!

If it's a choice between paying the bills and haivng the party, then have it at your house, with simple lunch menu, and a cake. And don't worry about the MIL. If I had taken to heart everything my MIL has said to and about me, I'd have probably strangled her by now .LOL!! Just joking, but seriously, these italian mother in laws just don't think sometimes when they say stuff, and the best thing to do is shake your head yes and then do what you want.

Now, about the Italian weddings....that's a whole other topic. My kids are 11,7,3, and if I start saving right now, I might not have to take out a 2nd mortgage when the time comes

 

[Maddle]

Oh no - I have never experienced anything like that for First Communion. I never even heard of such a thing. Where in Connecticut do you live? Have I been away that long?

We always had parties "at home" with buffet dinner and a fancy cake, pretty decorations/paper goods, and some drinks. Usually a couple friends/relatives will help out and make a dish or two for the buffet. The really extravagant people might buy some trays of food from a catering company. If it is later in the spring, some people MIGHT rent a tent so the party could move outside (but that friend had a really small house.)

In any case, I do think it is important to mark the occasion. I think it helps convey to the child how really special and important this sacrament and this day are, because the family makes such a fuss. It's the fuss, not the expense that will send that message.

Maddle

 

[TumFamily]

I had my DDs communion last year -- rented a fancy hall, hired a DJ and a magician. I would say I spent at least $2,000 but most of my friends didnt do that. I just had alot of people to invite and love a party!!

 

[Deesknee]

DH is a cradle Catholic (born & raised) I converted when my triplets were 6. I became their CCD teacher in 2nd grade (1st communion year). I cried as I saw each child recieve their communion. I cried when the previous year I recieved my first Holy communion. We had a celebration for our 3. We invited my parents, DH parents, our siblings & families and of course all God parents. We celebrated the miracle (in our opinion) that had happened. We had buffet dinner in our home. The total cost was probably about $200. DDs dress cost $60. I made her headdress out of flower wire, beads & lace. DS wore rented suits. Neither DH or I are Italian. I was raised Protestant, I never understood why communion was such a big deal, until I took classes & finally with the Grace of God experienced it.
I am not what most people would consider a "religious" person. I try to live right & be a good example, but I do Believe. Perhaps a reminder to anyone who insists on a "party" that the exact occasion you are celebrating is pure and simple.

Sorry it's so long, but you asked.

 

[ksjayhawks]

My friends that are Catholic always have gatherings in the home for immediate family and a close friends after their kid's first communions. Do what you feel comfortable with, want to do, and can afford!

 

[mamajoan]

OP.. is it an East Coast thing? Sounds more like a Bar Mitzvah... or is it more of "keeping up with the Jones'"? Do what you can afford and what you feel is truely appropriate. Tho, I do think that different ethnic groups celebrate life events in varied ways. For example, Hawaiians have huge 1st birthday parties for their children...Baby Luaus, Mexicans have huge 15th birthday celebrations for their daughters... Quincenaras(sp?) Jewish people have big parties to celebrate their childrens bat/bar mitzvah, and wow.. wedding traditions have a lot to do with familial heritage...

We are Catholic.. 3 kids made First Communion in different parts of the country because we moved around... swear to pete.. never have I heard of such an event as big as you are describing.....

First Communion is a personal event. Families and Godparents are often invited to celebrate this event. We did dinner at a restaurant for 2 of the kids and a brunch at home for the eldest. Gifts were given, mostly church/faith related items and a couple of savings bonds too.

Hope your son has a blessed day.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

I am a born and raised Catholic, my DH is not. I also have never heard of the after Communion party you described. Around here, people usually have a get-together at their home with friends and family, with a catered or home made meal.. Some will rent halls if they don't want the mess or have a small home. My son will be making his in 2 years, we will probably have it at our house , catered, because I don't cook. For the kids christening, the parties averaged about 60 people each, probably a good estimate for First Holy Communion too.

 

[JerseyJanice]

We celebrated my son's First Communion last spring. I'd say we spent about $1,200 on the party. No DJ or open bar, though. Personally, I can't imagine an open bar for a 7 year-old's daytime party.

We held the party at a restaurant and invited about 35 people. All family and close friends. We had a family style luncheon and served wine and beer. (Our restaurant had no liquor license--it was a bring your own, so we brought bottles of wine and tiny bottles of beer.) I got a cake from Costco for dessert. (Their new cream cheese icing is yum!)

I bought votive candles and holders for favors. Earlier in the week, I took DS to J.C. Penney to have portraits done. Used the wallet pictures from that photo session in the thank you cards I sent after the party.

It was a lot of fun to plan. I enjoyed every aspect of DS's First Communion. The religious preparation, the actual ceremony, dressing him up, the party, etc. It was a very happy and blessed event for us all.

 

[golfgal]

Huge parties like that are not done here, either. As many others have said, people usually just have family/friends/Godparents over for a meal at home. We have 3 kids, so we have been through this twice (#2 and #3 are twins). We had roast beef and all the fixings, a cake and that is about it. There are a couple families that will have something at the golf club only because their immediate families are about 50 people or more.

Start a new tradition in your family and have a back yard bar-b-que!

 

[Christine]

I am not Catholic but my kids attend a Catholic school and 99% of our friends (and some of our family) are Catholic.

I have never been to a first communion party ANYTHING like that. You must be in an extremely wealthy area. I don't consider myself wealthy, but the the people I "run" with are usually both parents working and a good amount of expendable income--but no parties like that. Usually everyone goes to the church, does the ceremony, and heads back to the house for a buffet style party with cake.

 

[maps]

I think it's more of an Italian thing than an east coast or Catholic thing.

My family is off the boat and yes they have had huge parties for things such as baptisms, communions, confirmations and we won't even go into the weddings.

Most of the time, the reason for renting a hall is due to the sheer volume of the family. My family (including aunts/uncles/cousins is literally in the hundreds range).

I don't believe in such a lavish affair for the communion but that's a personal decision. If my family member wants to do it and can afford it, then that's a different story.

 

[gina2000]

We're east coast Italian and we did have a nice luncheon in a private room at an Italian restaurant after the Communion. We had a magician entertain. Four course meal. Wine. Small favors. We had about 40 people and it ran us about $2000. Many people I know did the same thing....mostly those with Italian heritage. Others did something more low key.

Why? Probably because we love to entertain and go to parties. We love to celebrate joyous occasions. I can think of no other reason why. But I do think it's a good reason.

 

[DisneyMomx7]

I know this is the new trend but I don't go for it. We are catholic (not Italian). When my older kids (19-28) made FIrst Communion we had a home party. DD will make First Communion next year and I plan on doing the same. We have a large yard, and a fairly large house so I don't see the point in renting a hall. I'm not having a DJ because it's a communion party not a wedding. I will have it catered only because it makes my life easier. I think people forget that it's a sacrament and just try and outdo each other. So sad.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

I've been to many communion parties that were big and rather lavish. we have a very small family and lunch at restuarant with no D.J. for about 30 people wich ran about $1300.

Bar Mitzvahs around here are very lavish , with the majority spending at
least $20K. so a $2,000-$3,000 communion is small in comparison.
Most people don't have big parties for confirmation (age 13-14), so they like to have a big communion party.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

I spent what it cost for a nice cake, and food to feed about 15 people. I held a gathering at our house after the Ceremony. Took lots of pictures.

 

[twinmomplus2new]

DD's first Communion 10 years ago cost about $700. We had it at home brought catered food in ( Italian) And beer, wine and soda. We did not have entertainment, and we had approx a 100. People.

Ds now 10 3 years ago his first Communion. Was In October VS MAY. Thank god it was a nice weather day! We did have a Moon Bounce and this time I put my foot down, and I did not buy Beer/Wine. That was a big pet peeve of mine at DD's celebrating a childs day at noontime and everyone was drinking? Not a judgement of drinking you understand but rather my preferance as to what the focus should be. His tab was a little higher a little over a thousand? We had about 60 to 70 people.

I also agre with having the party away from home, and looked into it both times. Bottem line was It was the childs special day and they wanted it at home. There is a great company in Overland Park Kansas it's either H and F. Or H and K announcements. Both kids had lovely engraved gold foil invitations which add a nice touch even if you are having it at home.
We are by the way Italian and Irish and it was equally important to both sides that a BIG party be had.

 

[CookieGVB]

You live in Connecticut? You're just as doomed to have large parties as if you were Jewish, lived on Long Island and had a child turning 13.

Seriously, I think you should do what makes you and your family happy, and what you can afford. IMHO, I think it's a shame when people turn a religious ceremony into a "keeping up with the Jonses" event.

 

[Kallison]

Sorry we are Lutheran, can't help you out with this one. We do FC in 5th grade, then we go out to breakfast at the diner with grandparents. They get a card from each and collect about $50 for the day. We don't buy special outfits either. Whatever their usual Sunday School clothes are, works. I'll never forget the look of horror on my Italian Catholic neighbor's face when we were driving down the street and she said "What are you doing today" -- I said "We just had our first communion and we are taking the dog to have his picture with Santa" -- she looked in the van and saw all of us in jeans with the dog and her eyes were bugged out of her head.