How much to help?

[pjweaver]

As watches of the Dis podcasts I am sure we are all asked questions from time to time about WDW or UO. How much info do you volunteer though? I have been known to start spouting off so much that I can see smoke coming out of friends/coworkers brains. Now I am scaling back much more.

This all started when I found my new favorite restaurant at home and told everyone about it. Now I need to make reservations a week in advance (I will tell Kevin and John if they come near Philadelphia). This is similar to 20 years ago when I could just walk into Cava de Tequila and just stand at the bar for and hour. Our last trip was a 20 minute wait and you can't just stand at the bar. You have to get your drink to go or wait even longer for one of the few tables. I still will answer specific questions, but I have certain spots or tricks that I won't share for fear of losing them. Now I just refer people to here and tell them to just start watching.

It's cool knowing tips and tricks, but when everyone knows them they stop being ticks.

 

[jcb]

I would respond to your post, but if I did, I would be afraid I might lose my response.

 

[SorcererHeidi]

I hear you, PJ - and I also have scaled back how much/what kind of help I give over the years. Mostly because I either didn't want to "overload" people with info in my excitement to talk about one of my favorite subjects, or the fact I had people who got "lazy" - didn't want to do any planning or research on their own, treated me like a travel agent, and yes - even blamed me if something didn't go their way, or the way they thought it would without having done any of their own research or tailoring their trip to their families, but also not giving me the info to be able to help do that, if I wanted to. It also became "expected" of me in some cases, so instead of being a delight in sharing info, happiness, and delight with the person in helping to shape an awesome adventure, it felt like something I was "supposed" to do. So yes - I still give general info and/or direct them where to do further research, or give more detailed/personal info in response to detailed questions.

 

[KingLlama]

I actually thought about this recently. I have a neighbor friend who has never taken his family to WDW, and they know that we've been several times, so he asked me for some insight. So I started talking. And I kept talking. And I kept talking. Talking. #talking

Then I had to apologize, walk it back, and tell him that I'd be more than happy to help plan his trip, but I didn't want to go faster(or into more detail) than he cared for. So I told him when he's ready to talk specifics, I'll be happy to be a resource, but I'll keep my mouth shut until then.

We just can't help ourselves, can we, gang?

 

[TheMaxRebo]

I think I try to follow the same strategy KingLlama mentions above. It is really easy to go right into details and people just get lost. So I first ask basics (when are they going, for how long, staying onsite or off property, etc.) and then just some basic thoughts about thinking about what ADRs they want and figure what parks for that day make the most sense, etc.

As far as more "secret tips" - I don't get too worried as so much is out there on the internet that you sharing with one or two other people won't make much of a difference

I found this out in planning for my Disneyland trip that there are certain "secret" things that aren't so secret anymore due to the internet and now they basically don't do them any more (such as asking for a map from the skipper on the Jungle Cruise, or for a death certificate at the Haunted Mansion - you may still get lucky if you ask but because so many people now know to ask, they often won't give them out)

 

[TheMaxRebo]

oh, and one other thought - the hardest part is to not say "I told you so" when they don't follow your advice and then have a less than magical trip

 

[SorcererHeidi]

You're right about it all, Llama and Max - and I guess I do try to take more of the approach(es) yo're talking about in general(and especially in regards to "I told you so!") - I made myself sound way too mean and miserly.

 

[KingLlama]

Here's when I knew I had a problem. My friends asked me to help them plan their WDW vacation, and I spent a couple of hours at their house going over EVERYTHING: resorts, parks, restaurants, itineraries, tips, etc.

Then they basically didn't do anything I'd suggested, and just decided to kinda wing it. And then said they didn't have that great of a time, and that WDW was too much of a hassle.

And I found MYSELF being frustrated over THEIR vacation. That's when I knew I needed to re-evaluate how I respond when people ask for my help.

 

[SorcererHeidi]

Here's when I knew I had a problem. My friends asked me to help them plan their WDW vacation, and I spent a couple of hours at there house going over EVERYTHING: resorts, parks, restaurants, itineraries, tips, etc.

Then they basically didn't do anything I'd suggested, and just decided to kinda wing it. And then said they didn't have that great of a time, and that WDW was too much of a hassle.

And I found MYSELF being frustrated over THEIR vacation. That's when I knew I needed to re-evaluate how I respond when people ask for my help.

Totally well-stated, and I agree (as usual), Llama! Exactly how I feel/felt, but so un-eloquently explained it.

 

[Accident]

It depends who I'm talking to but most know I like disney so I generally leave it to them to find me and then I keep it short with a quick "Can you take me too? There is so much to do there.". I keep it shorter answers unless they have a very specific question and close with "It can be confusing to plan, feel free to ask me anything you want to know i'm there a lot".

 

[GAN]

This is similar to 20 years ago when I could just walk into Cava de Tequila and just stand at the bar for and hour. Our last trip was a 20 minute wait and you can't just stand at the bar. You have to get your drink to go or wait even longer for one of the few tables.

It's been a couple years for me -but you're telling me you can't stand at the bar in Cava del Tequila? When did that start ...half the fun is interacting with the bartenders. Are you thinking the same place, because cava opened around 7-years ago ....you must have been holding up another bar 20-years ago!

 

[pjweaver]

Same place inside the Mexico pavilion. It was like that on our three trips last year. They serve glasses at the tables or if you order at the bar you get a to go cup to keep the line moving. There is even a hostess there at peak times managing the line. They have a communal standing table still, but people don't always like to share.

 

[MarkE83]

oh, and one other thought - the hardest part is to not say "I told you so" when they don't follow your advice and then have a less than magical trip

I had a similar experience last year when we went to Rome / The Vatican, I planned the heck out of it and had a great time. Family did not follow my advice, and waited for over two hours to just get in to the Vatican. I had a pre booked tour, so walked past that security line and straight in


There's just no helping some people...

 

[TheMaxRebo]

I had a similar experience last year when we went to Rome / The Vatican, I planned the heck out of it and had a great time. Family did not follow my advice, and waited for over two hours to just get in to the Vatican. I had a pre booked tour, so walked past that security line and straight in


There's just no helping some people...

That's actually a good comparison - when people are all "why do I need to plan so much for a trip to an amusement park?" ... and my response is typically: "Would you just show up in Europe with no planning and expect to maximize your trip? A trip to Disney World is the equivalent to a trip to Europe" (Though Europe might be cheaper)

 

[samsteele]

Same place inside the Mexico pavilion. It was like that on our three trips last year. They serve glasses at the tables or if you order at the bar you get a to go cup to keep the line moving. There is even a hostess there at peak times managing the line. They have a communal standing table still, but people don't always like to share.

I've had the exact same experience the past 2 yrs at La Cava. Line up for 30 mins plus, rushed by the hostess to order your margarita (less than 3 mins interaction with the bartender), pay and tip and then out you go with your plastic cup. I love my La Cava margaritas. That avocado margarita is a killer. But its no longer a hidden gem and everyone plus their old granny is lined up for their tequila. Taste A+. Experience F. Sigh.

 

[GAN]

I've had the exact same experience the past 2 yrs at La Cava. Line up for 30 mins plus, rushed by the hostess to order your margarita (less than 3 mins interaction with the bartender), pay and tip and then out you go with your plastic cup. I love my La Cava margaritas. That avocado margarita is a killer. But its no longer a hidden gem and everyone plus their old granny is lined up for their tequila. Taste A+. Experience F. Sigh.

That's too bad. Just curious -were you getting there early(noon) or mid-day?

 

[samsteele]

In the line for opening in Nov (so early). The year before, also early. I guess its just too good?

 

[GAN]

Well I suppose I should feel lucky to have been able to enjoy hours at that bar sampling sidecars!

 

[SoCalTrojanSkip]

I hear you, PJ - and I also have scaled back how much/what kind of help I give over the years. Mostly because I either didn't want to "overload" people with info in my excitement to talk about one of my favorite subjects, or the fact I had people who got "lazy" - didn't want to do any planning or research on their own, treated me like a travel agent, and yes - even blamed me if something didn't go their way, or the way they thought it would without having done any of their own research or tailoring their trip to their families, but also not giving me the info to be able to help do that, if I wanted to. It also became "expected" of me in some cases, so instead of being a delight in sharing info, happiness, and delight with the person in helping to shape an awesome adventure, it felt like something I was "supposed" to do. So yes - I still give general info and/or direct them where to do further research, or give more detailed/personal info in response to detailed questions.

I am a huge WDW fan, went every year when I was a Disneyland Cast Member from 2000-2004..however my DGF is the ultimate Disney planner. Whenever we have friends talk about their upcoming WDW vacations, I will offer up (what I hope are) a few intersesting facts, or helpful hints. Maybe something that I've done that I think they might enjoy, or that their kids )if they have any) might enjoy.

However, when DGF is in the room, she launches right into super planner explanation mode and I'll admit...it's kind of fun to watch people's eyes glaze over.