How Much Money Do I Give?

[Daxx]

Daxx's Wife here. My "uncle" died last Thurs. He's not a "true" uncle (not Mom or Dad's brother) ... he's actually my Mom's cousin's husband. B/c our families have been very close, he's always been "uncle" to me, Daxx and DS9.

Question is ... I need to send a money gift to the family. I just don't know how much to give. What is the "usual" for family to give?! I have sent a mass card (the church will keep his name in prayer for so many weeks). That was a $10 donation. I would like to do more for the family, but don't know how much to give. I don't want to go overboard, but I don't want to seem cheap, either.

What do you usually give for family in this case? I'd love any suggestions.

Thanks!!!

 

[IMGONNABE40!]

I would weigh how much the family needs against how much you are able to give. I know that sometimes giving is customary, but if the family is able to pay the funeral expenses, etc., what is the giving for? In that case I might make a token donation--though probably to a charity. If, on the other hand, the family was strapped, and the passing leaves a gap in terms of either income or paying for final and funeral expenses, I would dig as deep as I could.

 

[LoveWDW]

I am sorry about your loss. I hadn't heard of giving money to the bereaved family. I usually either send flowers or make a donation to the charity of choice of the family.

 

[bettyann29]

Ive never heard of giving money before.. I usually purchase a flower arrangement

 

[Daxx]

Around here, it seems as if it's "tradition" to donate money. The local funeral homes provide envelopes for donations and you can designate where you want the money to go by checking a box on the envelope. Among the boxes to check include: funeral expenses, masses, to be used as family wishes. The family declined flowers (per obituary) and didn't list a charity for donations. I suppose I could donate to a charity of my choosing but would like the family to have cash to do what they want with. If I can't decide on how much, I'll go the charity route. Thanks for the suggestions.

 

[The U]

so with a certain amount of a monetary pledge, the church will keep his name in a prayer for a set amount of time?

 

[ksjayhawks]

I would send $10 or $15 as a memorial. OR Did he die of something specific--heart disease, cancer, etc? If so, you could send a memorial in his name to that organization and indicate that on the card.

 

[Lyn5]

I it very customary for us to give money in my town. I most often give $20 unless their is a special circumstance. On one occasion we gave significantly more, but our family member was widowed at age 25 and she had three very young children. Unless the family is experiencing a hardship due to the death, I think $20 is reasonable.

 

[aprilgail2]

Its normally 20-100 around here...unless its something like a child..when my godson died at 14 everyone that came to the wake brought an envelope with cash/checks in it...his school collected from every single teacher/employee in there and it ended up paying for almost his whole funeral...my job took a collection up and I used it to buy a memorial tree and plaque at the town park from my daughter...

 

[mickeyfan2]

I usually just give a mass card. You can always buy a second mass card.