How much is/was your wedding?

[NMAmy]

My first wedding probably cost around $3,000 in 1985.

My second wedding was just the charge for the marriage license--$20ish--in a judge's chambers plus around $300 for rings. We had a vow renewal last summer so everyone could come. I think I spent around $1,000 total. We had it at our home with an open house for family and friends. It was great--a friend performed the ceremony and another friend did the catering. It was beautiful and I wouldn't have done it any other way.

 

[JKMastalski]

KerryNic78 -
I think we could be the same person! Mine was $40,000 not including rings or honeymoon and mine was in CT as well. Hee Hee Hee.

Wouldn't change a thing about it!!!!

 

[kimisabella]

We got married in 1998 - don't know the exact amount, but it was way over $20K... It is the norm here on LI and the tri-state area to have a very expensive wedding - it's great if you can afford it, but sometimes people have such lavish weddings, they can't afford to live afterwards. Fortunatley we purchased a house before the wedding and my parents paid for more then half the wedding, so we were very lucky.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

I think mine was about $4,000 (in 1998).

 

[caitycaity]

including *everything* (except the honeymoon), it was probably about $12,000.

 

[zalansky]

Ours was about $23,000 and we got married in Tampa in 2000. That does not include the honeymoon. I do recall the cost per person at the reception was $75.00 and we had 100 people. My dress was $1700 without alterations. Looking back, we both agreed we'd do so many things differently. We'd cut our guest list to just people who were REALLY important to us and have the wedding somewhere different. And, spend a whole lot less. A wedding is over within a few hours and to spend that kind of money (when you're not loaded) is nuts. My dad gave us $10k and my in-laws gave us $8k and we paid the rest including our honeymoon. And to make matters worse, we were banking on the fact we'd "make" the money we put out back in gifts and we didn't even come close. So we were stuck paying off that extra money for a few years.

 

[Shugardrawers]

We spent between $1000 and $1200 for a totally do it yourself wedding. That includes the rings and dress too. We used a little wedding chapel that had a package deal including cake and punch reception, use of the hall, a small album of pictures and a minister for $350. I got my gown for $100 on clearance (the tags said it was an $800 retail dress), I did all my own flowers and for our rehersal dinner we went to a chinese buffet so we could keep costs down. It was very small and included only family and very close friends. We didn't have 25 people there. But you know what? It was the most beautiful day of my life. It wasn't about getting married, it was about being married. 5 years later we are even more in love than we were on that day.

 

[antmaril]

1974 - $2,500

215 people for a sit down dinner and an open bar.

 

[budbeerlady]

We spent $13500, not including honeymoon cruise or rings. Now when I think about it I gasp at the amount I dished out but I wanted to party with our friends, that was a ton of cash to come up with at 22. I knew what I wanted and then shopped around for the most ecomonical way to get it.

My biggest expenses were flowers and photos! I have a beautiful huge book of photos and a great picture of us at the beach that still hangs on my wall. If I had to do it again I would spend way less, invited half the people (really, hardly see alot of them anymore but at the time we had a big group of friends) and relax more!

The reception got a bit out of hand, when they closed the bar on us at 10pm several resorted to drinking in the parking lot. Never a good idea in our state. (You can clean them up but you cannot make them classy!!!) We still laugh about our wedding and I am still hearing stories about things I didnt know happended that night.

So rethinking it to say next time I would cut back most of the "friends" and invite only close family and have about 50, not 150 with 10 that were out of control.

 

[Puffy2]

Ya'll make me worry! I've got a precious 21 yr. old dd and I worry that when she gets ready to marry we won't be able to give her the wedding of her dreams because weddings these days just seem so outrageously expensive. Of course we do live in the south were weddings cost MUCH less on average than they do on either coast but still...my dd has never had inexpensive tastes in anything and I've got a feeling that a wedding will be no exception.

We've just made it clear that we aren't paying for weddings.

 

[tink2020]

We've just made it clear that we aren't paying for weddings.

I think that is a very reasonable solution! My parents and I had a similar conversation. They were willing to help out a bit, but if I wanted the "wedding of my dreams" it was up to DH and I. We did it, and I don't regret spending a single dime of it!

I posted in the poll, but I wasn't sure what to include. I included the ceremony, dresses, invitations (and things that go with them) and reception, but not honeymoon, rings, family/wedding party gifts, etc. We were in the 15-20K range (actually right around 20, but not "way over"), but a LARGE portion of that was actually the reception (probably 75%).

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

More than your top figure. And that was in... 1993. You know what? Looking back I wish we'd have eloped. It was too much work and stress. One whole years worth and my dress, alone, cost $8,000. Now it's in a box. Granted the box is made of a special plastic and would withstand a nuclear blast. But I doubt anyone will ever wear it, again. I only have one daughter. With completely different tastes than me. And she's bound to be bigger than me when she gets married. The dress was a size 0. Thanks to the year of planning stress. Anywho... would just as soon as eloped. Or had a really small garden wedding. And spent the money on our honeymoon(which ended up being 3 weeks of "Camping")... or a house. My two... perhaps three... cents.

 

[Shugardrawers]

We've just made it clear that we aren't paying for weddings.

Exactly. We'll pay what we can reasonably but if DD wants more than we can pay outright in cash she'll have to figure out how to get it on her own. We will not go into debt for a fantasy. It's not about the wedding, it's about the marriage.

That doesn't mean I think no one should have a lavish wedding. If you can afford it, or you think it's worth going into debt for, have at it. Just IMO it's a very bad decision for lower middle class families to spend $10k or more on a single day. I hope DD has learned more practical life lessons from us.

 

[barkley]

married in 1991, spent about 2000 total-dh and i paid. included evening wedding with very nice buffet (people still mention the food), champagne, bridal gown, tux rental (including one of the groom's men who could not afford his), flowers, cake, top photographer in the area, invites-pretty much everything.

we lucked out on the dress and bought it at the summer sale at a bridal store (they were getting in their winter gowns)-paid less than $300 (retailed for like $1800-and it was just one they happened to have on hand for display). worked with a great caterer who let us create a menu (saved on alot of food we knew would not be touched-did more appetizers since people had already eaten dinner). negotiated with the photographer/videographer on a per photo price (with a minimum purchase amount) vs. a more costly "package".

i wanted a nice wedding, but i did'nt want the over the top wasteful events i had overseen as a wedding coordinator for the prior 2 years (i wanted the day to focus on the spiritual aspects not be a huge party).

i recall a friend attending a wedding in the early 80's wherein the flowers alone ran the father of the bride over 30K (his daughter wanted a spring wedding but did'nt want to wait for spring so they brought in plants and recreated a spring courtyard inside a banquet room). had a co-worker who (unbeknown to her husband) took a 50 THOUSAND DOLLAR withdrawl from her retirement account to supplement the 30 THOUSAND they had already pulled from a home equity loan for their daughter's "dream" wedding. (i also remember her working 5 extra years beyond retrirement age and wondering how she was going to explain to her husband that her retirement benefit was going to be much lower than he had anticipated without the 5 years of extra service ).

i look back on some of the weddings that were organized at the place i worked at in the 80's, and between renting out all 80 rooms of lodging, renting a vineyard for the ceremony, renting a restaurant for the rehearsal dinner and the reception, thousands of dollars on a cake, tens of thousands on flowers, photos, limos (or better yet-motorized cable cars)-and the bills were in the hundreds of thousands. and the people having them were not the wealthy (their events tended to be far more subdued and less costly) they were middle income folks who were going to pay for them for the rest of their lives (and it became sadly routine that the more they spent the sooner you saw the divorce announcement in the local paper).

 

[EthansMom]

Around $2500 in 1999 for the wedding and another $2500 for a weeklong honeymoon cruise afterwards. For our wedding, we invited our immediate family members (parents and their spouses and siblings and their spouses). We had a to-die-for cake that cost $250 and a full buffet, but no dj or dancing or anything. It was simple and elegant.

As far as our kids' eventual weddings, we'll give each kid a check when they get married. Depending on our circumstances at the time, we may give $2000 or $5000 or we may give more, but we'll give the same amount to our son that we give to our daughter. Any money the kids don't spend on their wedding is money they can use for the honeymoon or to purchase their first house, etc.

 

[miste76]

We are right in the middle of our planning right now... the wedding is 9/9/2006 (just 6 months from now) and right now, if I write every little detail down... it comes to about $25,000. My mother and step-father are paying for almost half. His parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner and my fiance and I are paying for the rest. The 25k does not include rings or honeymoon.
I don't really like the idea of spending that much on one day, but I am only doing this once in my life... and it's the only thing that we've spent any money on for the last 5 months.

 

[DVC Sadie]

Our wedding was way more than double the highest number on the poll due to having to invite all of my parents friends and paying for all of the out of town guests for at least 3 days. It was over the top but we had a grand time and will never forget how absolutely gorgeous the whole day turned out. BTW, my parents had started a small account when I was 5 to pay for the wedding and I feel so blessed and lucky. I guess you could say that our wedding was as much for my mother as it was for me.

 

[FreshTressa]

About 15k back in 1996

 

[MickeysMommy]

Ours was about $8000 in 1998 not including honeymoon. We had 100 people at a buffet with 5 hours open bar. My dress was $500. That included my mom's dress and dad's tux also. I think it also included rings. Our rings weren't that much.

 

[ely3857]

Not a lot!

Our rings are £500 (£395 for mine & £95 for his)

Wedding $120 at the courthouse while on holiday on Oct '06

£5000 for actual holiday/honeymoon which we were going on anyway!



Jodie