How much $$ for a communion gift?

[Minnesota!]

Just had my sons Confirmation party a few weeks ago (8th grade). We had it a Catering Place and had about 100 people there. (We have a big family and they are all local). Most of the gifts he got were from $10 to $25. A few gave him $100 each but these are my Aunts/Uncles with lots of money and are very generous. I would think $20 to $25 would be sufficient especially from a friend and not family.

I was going to say ditto = and then I saw where you live. I live in St. Paul, too

$100, here, would be extravagant from anyone - friend, family, parent. No matter where the party was located. We don't do the "cover your plate" thing here. So, it's all in where you live.

 

[NYCDiane]

If they didn't invite the entire family, that would have been a different thread talking about some rude people that invited half a family to a party.

What do you put on the invitation? Leave your husband and that other kid at home?

Not really. When you have a b'day party for your child, do you invite the entire family of all his/her friends??

This is a communion, not a wedding. They could have invited the son only ---- he is the one who is friends with the child making the communion; it's not like both families are very close. She said the kids are friends and have had mutual "play dates" not that both families are close and all friends.

They could have written in on the invitation: We're looking forward to having ______ help us celebrate ______'s communion. You can drop him at our home and he can ride with us to the restaurant or you can drop him at the restaurant and we'll give him a ride home.

 

[lisaross]

i do not agree with others about just inviting the child. They are 8 years old - and its a restaurant not a kids party - who would keep an eye at your child in a restaurant.

Anyway, living in NYC my entire life - i wish i lived elsewhere - as gift amounts are CRAZY!! My entire family (4) was just invited to a friends daughters communion - my boys are very good friends with her older brothers and we are friendly with the family - i would not say great friends but friends.

They had it at a catering hall - we gave $250.00!!! sounds so crazy to most i'm sure!

 

[lisaross]

my son is going to a Bat Mitzvah this weekend. He has been in hebrew school with her for the past 4 years. They are not really "friends" but they are having it at a catering hall. I am thinking of giving 36 (good luck in the jewish religion - any multiple of 18 is) but i'm thinking it might look a bit "cheap".

 

[chimilady]

Well with the four of you invited for a nice meal I would go at $100, but that's just putting in my two cents. That's because I like to give at least what the meal cost the host, and then, perhaps, a little over.

Yup, if it were at their home, probably $50.

 

[sarah4770]

I think that if an eight year old gets used to getting $100(or more) for First Holy Communion, what is he going to expect for graduation, or his wedding? It just sounds a bit much to me. Is he going to walk out of that dinner with $5K? lol.

 

[alice99]

They could have written in on the invitation: We're looking forward to having ______ help us celebrate ______'s communion. You can drop him at our home and he can ride with us to the restaurant or you can drop him at the restaurant and we'll give him a ride home.

GREAT Idea!!

 

[pinkxray]

DD just had her communion last week (3rd grade) and most people gave her $50. A few gave $40, the least was $20. I would say $100 would seem to be a bit much especially since you will mostly likely be giving more than most family members.

DH and I hosted the party at a restaurant and didn't expect anyone to cover their plate. We set our budget on what we were willing to spend and never expected to get anything back from DD's money from gifts. All the cash she recieved went mostly to her savings and a little was given to her for spending money for our next trip.

 

[tinkgirl1984]

I was going to say ditto = and then I saw where you live. I live in St. Paul, too

$100, here, would be extravagant from anyone - friend, family, parent. No matter where the party was located. We don't do the "cover your plate" thing here. So, it's all in where you live.

I was beginning to think I was the only one on this thread who though that the "cover your plate" thing was nuts I mean, obviously it's common in a lot of places, but it's definitely not a southern thing. I've never heard of this before. Here, if you host a party, it's something you do because you want to. I would never expect repayment from my friends/ family whom I invited to spend my special occasion with me. Smh. I also think $100 is extravagant for a first communion. I am catholic, and most communion gifts I've ever seen, received, or given were a small amount of money, and some type of religious item to remember the occasion.

 

[chimilady]

I was beginning to think I was the only one on this thread who though that the "cover your plate" thing was nuts I mean, obviously it's common in a lot of places, but it's definitely not a southern thing. I've never heard of this before. Here, if you host a party, it's something you do because you want to. I would never expect repayment from my friends/ family whom I invited to spend my special occasion with me. Smh. I also think $100 is extravagant for a first communion. I am catholic, and most communion gifts I've ever seen, received, or given were a small amount of money, and some type of religious item to remember the occasion.

Obviously this is regional, as I made my communion 30 years ago this month, and my gifts back then were in the $50 - $100/family range then. And to answer the other poster, no, it wasn't anywhere near that for my graduation. And my wedding was typically $50/pp, so $100/couple and that was only 7 years ago. Close family was $200+.

 

[mjkacmom]

my son is going to a Bat Mitzvah this weekend. He has been in hebrew school with her for the past 4 years. They are not really "friends" but they are having it at a catering hall. I am thinking of giving 36 (good luck in the jewish religion - any multiple of 18 is) but i'm thinking it might look a bit "cheap".

Most Catholics here give $50 for a Bat Mitzvah if they don't know about the multiples of 18. However, that's for one child attending. My family was just invited to one, and I will give at least $200.

We didn't do parties for Communions or Confirmations, but for Christenings, my kids got checks for $50 - $100 mostly. Most people I know put it into college savings.

ETA - these celebrations after Sacraments are usually family affairs. I've never had any of my kids invited alone.

 

[wishesuponastar]

We gave $40 to our cousin who made Communion in May. The party was at her house. If it was in a restaurant I would have probably given $50 for 4 of us.