how much do you spend on Christmas?

[Happyinwonerland]

I'm having a bit of a dilemma budgeting for Christmas. I really don't know what most people spend.

Our DD is 3, and doesn't need anything. She had asked for 3 toys, totaling about $70. She will get all of those, plus a few educational toys, and a stocking, for about $125-$150 total.

DH and I don't exchange gifts. we try to find something memorable to so together and spend our money that way. This year, we are considering another Orlando trip, with a 2 day WDW visit for DD ( including mvmcp)

For everyone else- Its tough. My parents are crappy people but they expect me to give them the world. Dh's parents are wonderful people but don't expect much.

I have a lot of friends with young kids. I was thinking $15/kid. We usually do an ornament exchange/secret santa among our big group, so that's like a $15 expense.

I was thinking maybe $50/family member? Does that sound like a reasonable amount?

I feel like we always spend far too much at Christmas, and trying to find gifts for everyone is so stressful.

 

[CalDisneyMomof2]

I think you just spend what you want to spend. If you want to spend $0 then by all means do so. Christmas has turned into a corporate money making holiday and those corporations will tell you that it's the season of giving and you should give, give GIVE! You can fall into their trap OR you can give whatever YOU want to give. There shouldn't be an expectation from anyone.

I tend to spend about $75 on each child excluding Santa's gift. One gift is a shared gift for my two kids, one is from me and my husband, one they get for each other and one is from their fur sister (our dog) which is always pajamas.

I buy a gift for my husband and another one for him from my kids and a small one from the dog.(About $75 total ) I spend about $40 for each of our parents. And any kids in our family under 10 I buy like a $5-$8 toy. I buy for my younger brothers and my sister in law. That's it. We have about 80 people in our family that we see at Christmas every year but I don't buy for them all.

Every family is different but you shouldn't feel the need to spend any amount -just spend what YOU want/can spend.

 

[Pesky]

I think you will find a LOT of variety on this topic (and a lot of judgment). Some people happily spend a ton, some don't. To each their own. I will say that I learned over time NOT to go overboard with my kids. I started that way and they didn't play with all the stuff they got. So now they get stocking stuffers and we loosely follow the something you want, something you need, something you wear, something you read. They get book(s), something to wear (sometimes a fun dress-up outfit or regular clothes with a theme they like (DD is getting a Descendants sweatshirt) or robe), a large toy or item, a game, and a smaller toy. That was perfect. Not too much. So I think your idea for your DD is great and you can probably even cut it a bit if desired.

As for the rest of the family, I set a budget or we have agreed not to exchange gifts, maybe just tokens. I picked up some edible things from my travels -- pumpkin seed oil, coffee, etc. The parents have a higher budget than the kids but still within what we can afford. We do $25-30 for the kids and I will do $50-100 for the parents. For siblings and their spouses, total might run $20-30 at most.

We don't gift other people's kids so my budget there is $0 and I strongly discourage it among my friends (as in I say to the mom "for the love of God, please tell me you aren't giving my kids a gift this year. Promise me you won't and I won't give your kids one." My kids will be making some presents for others -- conversation jars, bath salts, craft kits, so that helps keep costs and obligations down. I also bake a bunch and hand out baked goods. If we do have to give a gift, I try to keep the value more around $5-7 -- think an ornament, book, small toy. Again, not something I want to encourage so I don't feel a "keeping up with the Jones's" kind of mentality. Once you realize you can only control your spending and get willing to have the conversations like "hey, let's just not exchange anything this year", it gets easier and WAY less stressful.

 

[Shanna-like-Banana]

too much, always way too much

 

[marmalade]

Too much!!!

It is not all on gifts either, a lot of my money is spent on food/ingredients for cookies or holiday parties/dinner. Then there is the wrapping paper, the random decoration is see when I am out shopping, the Christmas outfits for the kids etc....

 

[CAFarmerGirl]

Extended family on husband's side do a white elephant type gift exchange (so only one present). Presents for nephews about $20/ea.

My side, no presents (everyone agreed!).

That is it...real simple!

 

[kathy884]

Most financial planners recommend sticking to a budget of about 1% of gross family income.

We're typically quite a bit under this. I say do whatever you want to do and don't even worry or be concerned about what others are doing. Enjoy what you want to and embrace what's meaningful to you, but try to ward off societal pressures to do things you don't want to do or spend money you don't want to spend.

What is Christmas anyway?: Biblical scholars agree that Christ was born in the spring. Christmas was put on the calendar on Dec. 25th, though, to closely match dates of ancient sun god celebrations. Christmas, though, wasn't a big deal till the mid 1800s, and in the middle ages celebrations in that late December timeframe were almost like Mardi Gras. Celebrations of the magi arriving to see Jesus and the resurrection were the big Christian religious celebrations. The Church of England in the mid 1800s gave the holiday renewed emphasis, and many say the reason was to calm down traditions getting out of hand (see last paragraph of this post that describes traditional activities) -- keep things calmer and more family oriented. (Christmas only became a holiday in the US in 1870). And retailers, of course, have jumped on the holiday.

With a background like this and all the manipulation that has been done to make Christmas what it is today I don't feel overly obligated to conform with what society is doing. // And with a crazy history like this, comments like getting back to the true meaning of Christmas just rub me the wrong way lol.

Here's an expert about that Mardi Gras type holiday it used to be: http://www.history.com/topics/christmas/history-of-christmas
"Each year, a beggar or student would be crowned the “lord of misrule” and eager celebrants played the part of his subjects. The poor would go to the houses of the rich and demand their best food and drink. If owners failed to comply, their visitors would most likely terrorize them with mischief. Christmas became the time of year when the upper classes could repay their real or imagined “debt” to society by entertaining less fortunate citizens."

 

[RoosMama]

$15 per kid sounds like a lot to me, if you are looking to cut back at all. I have found great gifts for DDs friends (in the preschool age range) at the dollar store. Her friends all love these paint with water books, plus I found these fossil things, silly string, etc.

 

[gracie1]

I'm having a bit of a dilemma budgeting for Christmas. I really don't know what most people spend.

Our DD is 3, and doesn't need anything. She had asked for 3 toys, totaling about $70. She will get all of those, plus a few educational toys, and a stocking, for about $125-$150 total.

DH and I don't exchange gifts. we try to find something memorable to so together and spend our money that way. This year, we are considering another Orlando trip, with a 2 day WDW visit for DD ( including mvmcp)

For everyone else- Its tough. My parents are crappy people but they expect me to give them the world. Dh's parents are wonderful people but don't expect much.

I have a lot of friends with young kids. I was thinking $15/kid. We usually do an ornament exchange/secret santa among our big group, so that's like a $15 expense.

I was thinking maybe $50/family member? Does that sound like a reasonable amount?

I feel like we always spend far too much at Christmas, and trying to find gifts for everyone is so stressful.

I think it really depends on what your financially comfortable spending. One person may spend hundreds per person but their income may be triple of yours - so you can't rely on that. How many kids of your friends are you buying for? You mentioned a lot but is that like 20 kids?

 

[Happyinwonerland]

Not 20, more like 15, but yes, a lot.

I'm not necessarily trying to cut back, but stick to a reasonable budget.

Part of me feels guilty not having tons of presents under the tree for DH and DD, but that just isn't what we value. Most of my close friends and relatives ( many of whom are struggling financially) tend to go for the huge, living room full of gifts type christmas, and then post photos of it all over social media. It makes me feel a bit guilty that I don't do that too. Like maybe I'm a bad mom for not spoiling her that way on Christmas. My practical side just doesn't want to deal with more clutter, a million toys to clean up, batteries to keep working, etc. Plus, she doesn't know any different yet.

 

[gracie1]

Not 20, more like 15, but yes, a lot.

I'm not necessarily trying to cut back, but stick to a reasonable budget.

Part of me feels guilty not having tons of presents under the tree for DH and DD, but that just isn't what we value. Most of my close friends and relatives ( many of whom are struggling financially) tend to go for the huge, living room full of gifts type christmas, and then post photos of it all over social media. It makes me feel a bit guilty that I don't do that too. Like maybe I'm a bad mom for not spoiling her that way on Christmas. My practical side just doesn't want to deal with more clutter, a million toys to clean up, batteries to keep working, etc. Plus, she doesn't know any different yet.

You should definitely not feel guilty!!!! I think it's great that you don't treat christmas as a holiday to just spoil your daughter!!! First off Christmas is not about spoiling and it seems like you already know that. I have a brother who does the same thing - they spend thousands on Christmas and post it over social media - and at times I would get a little jealous but then snapped myself back to reality for the kids you could always look for Giftcard bargains if your comfortable like when the iTunes giftcards are on sale or instead of doing the giftcards maybe do a family gift like movie night - get them the popcorn containers with a movie and some candy - you can do that stuff right at the dollar store

 

[superme80]

I always spend too much. I enjoy spending what we can on the kids. I tend to go over by about $20 per kid. I always say $50 per kid. Then i forget stockings, then I want to do pjs for christmas eve. Oi! There goes the budget. We will be at Disneyland the 1st week of December. That is basically DH and I's christmas present. My husband's family does not really spend a lot on gifts. My family is smaller and we buy for everyone.

 

[Gr8t Fan]

We travel to WDW for Christmas so that is our big family gift. Our kids will get a few very small things on Christmas morning ($20-$50 range), especially our 8 yo who still gets a visit from Santa.

For years we asked family NOT to buy for our kids because they already have so much. We wanted the focus of Christmas to be spending time together, not presents. For years they continued to buy, which was rather awkward because we stopped buying gifts for everyone except whomever was hosting dinner that year. A few years ago we reiterated our request and also said that we would be out of town for Christmas. That seemed to do the trick. I really like not having to stress about finding the perfect gift for everyone and also like avoiding the crazy Black Friday sales.

 

[misssullyinc]

I try to budget it so I'm not spending more than $50 per family member. Sometimes I go a little over, depending.

I also buy Christmas presents for the kids at my mom's daycare. I spend more than $25 per kid and sometimes I spend less than that. This year, I'll also be buying for another little girl I watch, not spending more than $25 on her either.

Then I have to buy a a gift under $15 for a grab bag at my cousin's Christmas Eve party.

Honestly, while I love gift giving, I never really want much for Christmas. I don't think material things are all that important.

 

[Claire&TheBoys]

I don't really set a specific budget, except to know in my head that I'm going to spend ~$35 each on my immediate family. We still do a family Christmas at my parents' house with my brother and his family and sister and her family. It's a lot of people - 15 in all now that one nephew has gotten married - but we really enjoy being able to do it. We're all fairly even financially, but even when we weren't, no one cared. We just enjoy it. For my parents, I will go a little higher, $40-50 each. For my husband's family, we don't really exchange gifts with them since we don't get together and it's expensive to mail stuff. We do send gifts to his parents if we're not going to see them.

My husband and I used to have a budget of $200 each to spend on each other, but while I'd stick to it, he never did so I quit worrying about the amount. I buy what I want to buy and try to get him at least one thing he doesn't expect, along with things like a new polo shirt, a book on CD for when he travels, etc. For the kids, I probably spend about $150 each, plus an item from Santa and their stockings. Santa never brings the big-ticket item (iPod, DS, etc) - those are from Mom & Dad. Santa might bring a new scooter or bike or skateboard. Last year, my youngest got a set of Minecraft Legos. A couple of years ago, my oldest got an FSU jersey and hat.

We don't buy for our friends' kids or our kids' friends. My youngest will give his teacher a small gift ($15-25) and my oldest will generally give each of his teachers a bag of Ghirardelli chocolates.

Overall, we probably spend somewhere around $1000. But we don't make birthdays a big deal (a few gifts, maybe $100 total) and don't do big birthday parties. We don't buy stuff year-round for them except for needed items/clothes/shoes. So I don't think we overspend or spoil them too much. Sometimes my husband will want that "one more big thing" for the kids - one year it was a combination air hockey/pool table - and I let him get it. He didn't have a lot growing up and he enjoys the fact that he can give his kids stuff he didn't have.

 

[worm761]

I don't really have a budget either. But I don't buy for friend's kids either. My side of the family doesn't exchange. There are 5 of us kids, 15 grandkids, and 2 great grandkids. That's just too many. And we don't live near them so I'd also have to ship. We decided to not exchange gifts at all. DH's family we buy for the kids only and his parents. This year MIL is gifting everyone lodging for vacation in August 2016. I'll be getting everyone entry to one of our activities while on vacation.

DS is 19. We'll probably just give him money. He's hard to buy for but likes money so it's easy for me.

DD is 5. Her birthday is in December and she's spoiled. (We're okay with her being spoiled. She's a good kid. DH says spoiled is another word for loved.) She has too much crap and I'm tired of it. So my plan is to focus on family time. A couple of board games and a trip to Legoland next spring. We might get her a bow and some targets too. Archery is something we are all wanting to do. Plus the movie, action figure set, and dominoes game I've already bought. And both kids get stockings.

DH and I don't exchange gifts. We usually just buy what we want.

 

[wilkeliza]

It really depends.

For Christmas I spend between 20-30 a piece for each child under 16 attending. Adults I spend between 50-100 for 1 gift that goes into our gift exchange pile. I only spend this much because I make it to my family's Christmas once ever 3-4 years now that I don't live in state.

Hanukkah is a different beast. My fiance and I can get out of hand sometimes. We always try to set a budget and then he goes out and spends half his holiday bonus on gifts haha. He always saves the other half so he has a decent savings but it isn't unlike him to buy me a new purse one day, a tablet the next, theater tickets, etc. I'm sure he will be the same way when we have kids. We get his nieces and nephews something for between 50-100 that covers all 8 days.

We also have a rule that we only buy gifts for those we see during the holiday so how much we spend depends from year to year. This year we are only seeing 2 of the nieces and nephews and none of my family so we will luck out! Last year we saw all my family and all his nieces and nephews so we had to budget much better for that.

We are both givers with no children of our own so we love to spoil the little ones in our lives at the holidays. I'm sure we will have to rework our budgets once we have our own kids.

 

[HM]

I'm having a bit of a dilemma budgeting for Christmas. I really don't know what most people spend.

Our DD is 3, and doesn't need anything. She had asked for 3 toys, totaling about $70. She will get all of those, plus a few educational toys, and a stocking, for about $125-$150 total.

DH and I don't exchange gifts. we try to find something memorable to so together and spend our money that way. This year, we are considering another Orlando trip, with a 2 day WDW visit for DD ( including mvmcp)

For everyone else- Its tough. My parents are crappy people but they expect me to give them the world. Dh's parents are wonderful people but don't expect much.

I have a lot of friends with young kids. I was thinking $15/kid. We usually do an ornament exchange/secret santa among our big group, so that's like a $15 expense.

I was thinking maybe $50/family member? Does that sound like a reasonable amount?

I feel like we always spend far too much at Christmas, and trying to find gifts for everyone is so stressful.

I spend about $20-25 on nieces and nephews. We choose names in both my DH and my families, so we only have to buy two presents each and we try to stay around $40 for each of those. For my kids, I don't have a limit, they are young adults in college and the things they want are usually pretty expensive so we pick one or two to give them. DH and I also don't usually give each other anything....but we help the kids pick out something for the other parent. As for our own parents, we kids usually go in together on something for them (we each have three siblings, so the cost of a larger gift is reasonable).

 

[Pesky]

Part of me feels guilty not having tons of presents under the tree for DH and DD, but that just isn't what we value. Most of my close friends and relatives ( many of whom are struggling financially) tend to go for the huge, living room full of gifts type christmas, and then post photos of it all over social media. It makes me feel a bit guilty that I don't do that too. Like maybe I'm a bad mom for not spoiling her that way on Christmas. My practical side just doesn't want to deal with more clutter, a million toys to clean up, batteries to keep working, etc. Plus, she doesn't know any different yet.

don't feel guilty! What's hilarious about this is I have been subjected to the other pressure -- that I give too much! There are 2 groups of family members, one on my side and one on DH's side, that think anything beyond a book and one item is too much. Another group thought I gave too much but they gave their kids as much! So I developed the most wonderful attitude -- screw them. Seriously! I (and my DH) determine how we as a family celebrate our family holidays. Not them. Not the kids' friends who have phones at age 6. Not the neighbors. WE decide. And quite frankly, when one set made the mistake of uttering a judgment to me, I told them directly the same thing. It's a lot less stress when you learn to decide what you want and just get comfortable with in and with the knowledge that others will differ.

 

[indimom]

OP, Do what makes you happy and don't worry about the expectations of others.

DH and I spend about $50 on each of our parents. It can vary a bit year to year. I'm taking my mom to a Piano Guys concert in the beginning of December. The ticket was right at $50, but we're going to have to spend the night out of town (and I plan to pay her portion of the hotel room which we are sharing with other ladies in the family). There have been years when I've spent less than $50.

We spend a couple hundred on our kids. I don't always set a strict budget for them. Christmas is usually when they get the bigger items that I would never "just buy" on an average day. (As an example, my kids have never had smart phones. DD18 is heading off to college next year. So, for Christmas this year, she's getting her first real phone. That's not cheap. It will add to my monthly plan, and that's a long-range expense. But, I know she will use it and appreciate it, so I'm okay with that.) DS will probably get more items of lesser expense, a couple video games, new football, maybe a gift card or two.

DH and I spend about $200 on each other. This year, DH is making me a rolling kitchen island with a butcher block top. I've needed that for so long...

We attend one family party with an adult gift exchange, $25 limit. We don't participate in this exchange every year.
And we have two parties where the kids exchange names, both with a $25 limit. These we participate in every year.

I Spend about $50 on my BFF. We both have birthdays near Christmas, so we tend to combine them into one nicer gift for each other. Always have, always will.

It's quite a bit, but we don't go crazy day to day, and I tend to splurge at the holidays. It works for me.