How Much Do You Have To Spend On A Wedding Present

[kbmoo]

I am just curious what everyone thinks about wedding presents. I know there is set rules, but don't you think there are exception. Say for instance, the people invited are students with a small income invited to a school mates wedding. Or I was just at a coworkers shower and now her wedding is in 3 weeks. I already spent $20.00 on her shower present and now I am not sure how much I should have to pay for her wedding. She has worked with me for 2 years, and is moving out of state right after the wedding. Family is one thing , but I was tinking of getting a $30.00 gift. Do you think I am being a cheap skate? I'm ready to take whatever ansewer you give me. Thanks

 

[Bob Slydell]

There are no set rules. Just give what you are comfortable with giving.

 

[Lorix2]

I think you should spend what you are comfortable with and on something that you feel good about giving.

 

[crz4mm2]

I think you should get whatever you WANT to get. It should not be HOW MUCH you spend but a gift from the heart.

 

[poohandwendy]

No, I do not think you are cheap skate. I think people should spend what they are comfortable with spending.

 

[MagicKingdom05]

IMOP I think that it's the thought that counts not the $$$$ behind it. Spend what you feel is correct.

 

[jama]

I think one gift is enough. I have never given a gift at a shower AND at the wedding.

 

[Jeafl]

I think one gift is enough. I have never given a gift at a shower AND at the wedding.

Really? Do you attend both events? I would feel funny showing up enpty-handed to either one. Believe me though, there are times I would have liked to....

 

[kbmoo]

Thanks, I do feel comfortable with the $30 gift, and It was on her list. Some people say you need to spend at least $50. per person for a wedding present. I disagree. I agree with you it's from the heart, but also your budget.

 

[mytwotinks]

Really? Do you attend both events? I would feel funny showing up enpty-handed to either one. Believe me though, there are times I would have liked to....

When I was younger that was the norm. A shower was considered to be just a more intimate party to present the bride with her wedding gift. Now it seems like you are expected to give at both around me. I think it is a very regional thing. I think in some places it is very common to receive most of your gifts at the shower instead of the wedding.

 

[mytwotinks]

Thanks, I do feel comfortable with the $30 gift, and It was on her list. Some people say you need to spend at least $50. per person for a wedding present. I disagree. I agree with you it's from the heart, but also your budget.

I must be super cheap. A $50 gift from me would be to a very close friend, not someone who was moving away that I may or may not stay in touch w/. I just went to my nephew's wedding shower and my sister (mother of the groom) thought that I went way overboard by giving her a $50 gift, and we are a really close family. I know when I receive a gift, I hate the feeling that maybe the gift giver spent more than they should have. I hate that guilty feeling that someone is strapped because of me.

 

[JMD]

I always went by the rule that your gift should be about equal to the cost of the dinner. So if you're invited and bring a guest, the cost to the bride and groom just for you to be there is probably around $150-$200. And that is an average number, nothing extravagant.

But you can only give what you can afford. If you can only spend $30 and you are comfortable with that, then that is fine. I would rather have a good friend give me nothing but be at my wedding, then have them not come because they can't afford a big gift.

I've never been to shower, but I've gone to plenty of stags and those cost alot of money. I don't think one gift should take the place of another. If you attend both events you should give two gifts.

 

[wilderness01]

mytwotinks wrote:

I think it is a very regional thing. I think in some places it is very common to receive most of your gifts at the shower instead of the wedding.

Where do they do this now? I have never heard of this. Just wondering?

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Do whatever you are comfortable with.

For a wedding shower I usually buy something on the registry and then give cash at the wedding. If I am invited to just the wedding, then I just give cash.

 

[SC Minnie]

Around here it is not really necessary or expected to bring a gift to the wedding if you have already given a gift at a shower.

This has been brought up before on here and some people give $ and gift waaaay out of my budget for wedding gifts.

Buy a gift that you are comfortable with and can afford.

 

[Mickey76]

I guess I'm part of the silent minority here. I would buy a gift or a combination of gifts that equals what it would cost me for my dinner. True, you are a guest and should not have to pay, but considering that the hosts (Bride/Groom) are dishing out lots of money for their closest friends and family to be a part of thier most special day, the least the guest could do is give a little bit back.

On the other hand, I realize that for some people, $50 is a lot of money. I guess it would all depend on the person, now that I think of it. If my parents were to give us only $50, I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't be mad, but if one of my friend's who is struggling to get by gave us $50, I'd be shocked because I know they are struggling.

I'm going through a similar situation myself right now. MY buddy's younger sister is getting married and the family really wants me to attend. However, I'm in the midst of paying for my own wedding and doing renovations on my new house. I told them that I could not attend because I couldn't afford to pay back what they're paying for each guest. They understand and still want me to go, but I don't think it is fair to them.

I obviously flip-flop a lot on this issue, so I guess I'll continue to sit on the fence. Do whatever you think is right...

 

[mickeyfan2]

I think one gift is enough. I have never given a gift at a shower AND at the wedding.

Really? When I attend both I give two gifts. If I cannot attend both I may still give two gifts if the person is a family member or a close friend.


ETA: For the shower I give a gift (~$50) and the wedding cash ($100+)

 

[va32h]

A gift is never mandatory, for any occasion. That's what Miss Manners says, and she is my idol in all things ettiquette.

I would choose a nice gift that I could afford, and not worry about it.

 

[froglady]

I've always given two gifts, if I've been invited to both events. I give a small gift for the shower and a larger gift for the wedding.

I also tend to keep the "lavishness" of the wedding, and my relationship to the couple, in mind when I decide what to give. I'm certainly going to give a niece/nephew I've known all their life a more generous gift than the child of a co-worker.

I also hope that my niece (getting married this weekend) will take the cost of our (3 people, one last minute) airfare, car rental, and hotel in mind when she opens our gift.

 

[LiteBrite]

I always went by the rule that your gift should be about equal to the cost of the dinner. So if you're invited and bring a guest, the cost to the bride and groom just for you to be there is probably around $150-$200. And that is an average number, nothing extravagant.

Are you saying that the average cost to feed one person at a wedding is $75 - $100? That is nuts! I'm not arguing with you, I just really want to know. I would never have expected a number like that.