How many waited for Kindergarten (inspired by EthansMom)

[kimwim8]

After reading EthansMom's thread, it got me curious. How many of you sent your "young" child to Kindergarten when they were allowed to go, and how many waited the extra year?

We are currently debating this for our DS4 whose birthday is September 28th & our cutoff is October 1st.

He is a very social, intelligent (not skipping a grade intelligent) well-adjusted, happy child - but a little on the small side physically. I wouldn't hold him back based on his size because I doubt he'll "sprout up" in only a year anyway. His preschool teacher strongly suggests we send him to Kindergarten this coming fall, or else she thinks he will be too bored in both another year of preschool, and then in Kindergarten.

But we haven't decided 100% yet. We will definitely have him tested as all Kindergarteners are here, and see how it goes.

But what about you all? What did you do & what circumstances made your decision easier?

(hopefully poll coming - never did one before )

 

[becker1123]

Yours is a tough call. My kids were both born right after the cutoff, so I won't have to make a decision like this, but I think you should go with what your heart says. Also, if you trust and respect your preschool teacher, which I'm sure you do, I'd take her opinion seriously. Preschool teachers work with so many kids over the years that they often have good insight into this kind of thing. However, if you do decide to hold him back, I don't think that's going to be a bad thing. Maybe you could offset preschool with classes like karate or gymnastics. That would give him another outlet besides school. I know a lot of parents who have held their kids back when they were close to the deadline, especially with boys, and I think that can work out well, too. Good luck!

 

[Bob Slydell]

DS1 was 5 on Sept. 3rd, but instead of sending him to Kindergarten this year, we decided to send him to pre-K and wait until next year for him to go into Kindergarten. Academically, he would have been fine, but socially, we felt he could use one more year (plus, he's always been a little on the small side).

 

[Lyn5]

We decided to wait a year...our DS is intellegent and very verbal, but I don't he was socially ready...he gets along fine with others, but I thought another year to grow would help him in the long run. DS's doctor and teachers all agreed that most, not all, but most boys born late benefit from the extra year. What convinced me was that my BIL is a fourth grade teacher for a demanding private school, he said it is obvious in the fourth grade who should have been held back another year....but by then it is too late to hold back the kids and he really felt for them. In Hawaii, they are changing the public system so that children must be 5 when they enter K, I think they are starting pre-K program also. Currently, the cut-off is at the end of December.

On the plus side, this gives me another year to love him at home (my kids are growing way too fast) and if he does go to college he will be 18 in his first year. I went to college very far from home and was 17 my entire first semester...

 

[kimwim8]

Maybe you could offset preschool with classes like karate or gymnastics. That would give him another outlet besides school.

Thanks for responding! Well, he's been doing karate for almost a year & is on his 3rd belt! He has 1/2 hour classes on both Tues & Thursday, right at his daycare/preschool.

This is such a TOUGH decision!!!

DS1 was 5 on Sept. 3rd, but instead of sending him to Kindergarten this year, we decided to send him to pre-K and wait until next year for him to go into Kindergarten.

Yeah, I think that would make my decision a little easier too. DS has been in daycare since he was 11 months.

I should also mention, I have a DD6.5 who plays "teacher" with DS constantly! So he doesn't get a break !

Thanks again!

 

[luvmydogs]

Ds10's birthday is Aug. 26, and our cutoff is Sept. 1. We waited the extra year, actually putting him in 3 yr. old preschool two years in a row--I knew early on that I wanted him to have the extra time. Not a single regret--he's a straight A student who has won two AR awards. I honestly don't feel he'd be doing nearly as well if he would've started a year earlier.

I know for a fact that there are children who are among the youngest in their classes who have excellent grades and a high level of maturity, but in my son's particular instance, I don't think he would've been one of them. We've always been very happy with the decision we made.

 

[Barb D]

DD6's bday was 3 days before the K deadline last year, and we held her back. If she had gone last year she would have struggled. This year she's right in the middle of the pack academically. She's a bright child but not particularly interested in reading and writing.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Thanks for responding! Well, he's been doing karate for almost a year & is on his 3rd belt! He has 1/2 classes on both Tues & Thursday, right at his daycare/preschool.

This is such a TOUGH decision!!!




Yeah, I think that would make my decision a little easier too. DS has been in daycare since he was 11 months.

I should also mention, I have a DD6.5 who plays "teacher" with DS constantly! So he doesn't get a break !

Thanks again!

DS has also been in pre-school since he was 2 -- at first 1/2 days a couple days a week and gradually, we built up to full days (now 5 days a week).

He's also doing tae kwon do after school two days -- that does wonders for his discipline and self-confidence.

 

[kimwim8]

DS has also been in pre-school since he was 2 -- at first 1/2 days a couple days a week and gradually, we built up to full days (now 5 days a week).

He's also doing tae kwon do after school two days -- that does wonders for his discipline and self-confidence.

Oh! I'm sorry....I should know better than to assume!

I agree with the martial arts! It's really great for them.

 

[Lyn5]

One more thought, my DSIL wanted to hold back my nephew one year, so that he would go to K twice. The teacher for K said he would be bored and convinced DSIL to send him to 1st. Now, he is in 1st and is having a difficult time....my DSIL doesn't know what to do since now the 1st grade teacher wants him to repeat, but if he does repeat now, he will understand his friends are moving on....it is a very difficult decision and I don't envy her at all....My nephew's birthday is at the very end of November.

 

[Gymbomom]

I voted wait the next year. Trey is 4 and his birthday to turn 5 is August 6th.
But, as I thought about it...it wasn't from an education standpoint, but just from a social one.
I want Trey to be the oldest in his class, not the smallest on the team and in class.
I think about puberty, driving, dating....do I really want him with his peers who are able to do things ALL a year ahead of him??

I see only good things holding him back, hardly ANY negatives.

 

[Lyn5]

I think about puberty, driving, dating....do I really want him with his peers who are able to do things ALL a year ahead of him??

I see only good things holding him back, hardly ANY negatives.

 

[MinnieM3]

We sent DSyoung 6 to K with the rest of the pack, after doing 4K successfully. But at the end of the year, we decided to haved him repeat.

Again, not academics (he's reading the first Harry Potter book and doing multiplication...he loves learning).... it was social issues, low frustration level with things that *didn't* come easily, general immaturity compared to classmates, and fine motor skills such as cutting, gluing, coloring, folding, etc. He knows his friends moved on and it was hard!! BUT this year he's a different child! I know we did the right thing.

I teach 3rd grade, and I've never had a parent regret holding a child back, but have had many who regretted NOT holding a child back early on because it just gets tougher. I knew DS would struggle later in say middle school years if he was behind socially.

Now when DDyoung was in 5K she also was very smart (150 IQ) and we didn't hold her back. She was always fine academically but NEVER cauht up socially/emotionally and she's now 20.

Other DS had an early birthday a(he's one of the oldest). It didin't help him academically but he's my most social child with the most friends, the "godlen boy" popular kid.

Food for thought. Listen to your gut.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I have 4 children. For my first 3 children, the cut-off for entering school was 12/31. All were sent (one birthday in Dec and 2 in Sept). The cut-off has since changed and this year is 9/30--next year will be 9/1, the final bump back of the date. My 4th child is a Dec birthday, also, and I would have held him back, but they changed the date so I didn't need to.

I somewhat regret not holding back my 15yo, but he might still have the same poor organizational skills as he has now even if I had of help him back. My kids all did fine academically. It has been a little hard on my DD being 17yo for the whole first semester of college.

No serious regrets, though.

 

[Parkhopper]

I agonized over this decision for my DS (now 11). His birthday is September 30th and the cut off in our area is October 1st. If he had only had the foresight to have been born a few days later, I wouldn't have stressed out about it so much!

DS was reading at 3 and reading chapter books with no pictures in Kindergarten. He was tested at age 5 as reading and comprehending on a 4th grade level. I came from a family that had a lot of people skip a grade (I skipped 2nd, my sister skipped 1st, my father skipped 7th). I KNEW that I did not want THAT for my child, so I was very reluctant to hold him back in Kindergarten if there was a chance that he would wind up skipping a grade later on.

I decided to give him the extra year to grow socially. He is an only child and only grandchild on both sides and has always been much more comfortable relating to adults than children. This was the best thing I could have ever done for my son and I have never regretted it.

DS went to one Kindergarten for the regular 1/2 day program and then we switched him to another private all day Kindergarten (when he would have started 1st grade). He is 11 and in 5th grade now.

His reading is still out of this world. He was last tested at a 12th grade level (this was in 3rd grade) and I have no desire or reason to have him further tested. The difference in him socially is amazing. He really did need that extra year with a great teacher to learn to relate to his peers.

His teachers today tell me that he is an amazing, bright sweet child who is a friend to all. They say that everybody likes to work or partner with my son and that he nurtures those who do not grasp concepts as quickly as he does.

I can tell you that I fretted and AGONIZED over this decision, but I have never for one day regretted holding him back.

Good luck to anyone worrying about this in whatever you decide is right for your child.

Suzi

 

[aprilgail2]

My daughter turns 6 today and is in first grade..she started kindergarten when she was 4 and she did great in it. I thought about holding her back but she is very bright and her preschool teachers and her pre k teachers said it would not benefit her in any way to hold her back, in fact it might actually be harmful since she was already reading etc she might have been bored in kindergarten. Though they did say if she was a boy they would usually recommend they hold them back if they are young since they are so immature compared to girls.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

He is a very social, intelligent (not skipping a grade intelligent) well-adjusted, happy child - but a little on the small side physically. I wouldn't hold him back based on his size because I doubt he'll "sprout up" in only a year anyway. His preschool teacher strongly suggests we send him to Kindergarten this coming fall, or else she thinks he will be too bored in both another year of preschool, and then in Kindergarten.

My 2nd son's preschool teacher thought that he should move on to K and not be help back, without a doubt. He's the only one that I have doubted. He's the only one that I didn't debate with myself about, too.

The problem is, it's hard to know what they are going to be like when they are in 3rd grade or 6th grade (2 years that schools tend to "kick it up a notch" in terms of what they expect out of the kids). It's a hard call to make for sure.

What we didwith our third child (also has a 9/28 birthday!) was to send him to K at the same place where he went to preschool. That gave us an extra year to decide. Two other kids went to our elem school and they both repeated K at our home school. I sent Zach onto 1st grade because he seemed very ready and it was a good decision. As a 7th grader he's in mostly honors classes and is taking algebra. But the year of private K allowed us an extra year to make the decision.

 

[pkasbohm]

I have a ds who is 10 and his bday is in may. We sent him when he could go but no i kinda wished that we would have held him back a year. He is doing fine now but it was a tough start for him.

My dd 4 bday is sept. 21st. She could go next year, but we are not sending her! We go all day everyday here and i just think that is a long time for a 4 year old to go. I know she would do fine, but i choose to not send her--call me selfish!

On the other side, there are people who have held their child back already so when you send a 4 year old they will be very young compared to the 6 year olds that got held back from the year before. I also think that when they get older it will benefit them too. I just wish i had this knowledge 10 years ago!

 

[SandrainNC]

I wish I had a choice in the matter. My son has special needs. He will be five in January. I asked if we could put him in K-4 next year instead of kindergarten since he is obviously behind. I was told "no and if you do you will lose services through the school system". It makes no sense whatsoever. There are kids without special needs who are held back a year because it will help them, however, if I try to do that with my child who obviously needs to wait another year, I am penalized. It is so frustrating!!

Anyway, sorry to vent on your post. Reading some of the replies just makes me that much more frustrated with the situation.

Sandra

 

[kidshop]

Our cut-off here is 5 y/o by July 31. I think it is strange that the cutoff varies so much. My ds was born in May and way more than ready to go to K on time. My ds2 is an Oct baby so he has to wait the extra year, but since he is not quite as motivated as ds1, I think this is fine for him. I've never heard of anyone be sorry for holding their child back, but you have to look at the individual. I would prefer mine went on time.

If I get so lucky, I will try to plan my next pregnancy so that I have a spring or summer baby to be well within the cutoff!