How Many Times Can You have Gastroenteritis in One Year?

[snarlingcoyote]

After hosting Thanksgiving this year for 16 ungrateful wretches (Okay, My DB2 and his family were not ungrateful and were a great help. So 12 ungrateful wretches. And if it hadn't been for my DM, who insisted everything be done to HER specifications, and my DSIL1 who brought her hypersonic dogs, everything would've been fine. . .more or less.) I am planning on having viral gastroenteritis for Christmas. (It's the only feasible way to get out of the family gathering and still make my Great Aunt's 100 birthday party without hurting anyone's feelings.)

If I pull this off, is it virally feasible to have it again next Thanksgiving?

 

[BCDisneyFanatic]

Pink eye is also VERY contagious, but can be cured very quickly with antibiotics. It's amazing how hard it is to get a prescription though on a holiday, isn't it

Just make sure no one sees you though, if you use this excuse (or quickly start cutting onions if you see them coming!)

 

[minkydog]

Oh, I definitely feel some cramps & nausea coming on. Maybe you have IBS (Irritable Witch Syndrome )

My mother always wants to bring her unmannered and untrained Border Collie when she comes. It's a mess. I finally had to tell her to leave the dog at home, it upsets my whole household too much.

 

[laurie31]

I always tell people that gastro is the perfect excuse for calling in sick. NO ONE wants to be around you, no one expects you to have a doctor's excuse, there is no medicine to make it go away faster.

It amazes me that people make up very elaborate (and obviously MADE UP) excuses for calling in sick, when all they have to do is say the "d" word, and voila - no work for THEM! LOL (the "d" word being "diarrhea" )

Now, it sounds like you want to "call in sick" for a holiday, so the KISS principle still applies. Say you're throwing up, and can't leave the bathroom long enough to cook. No one would want to eat anything you prepared in that state anyway!! And no one's going to come over demanding proof or anything.

Or you could always "win" a vacation, only to be taken those dates.

 

[golfgal]

I hear the flu is going around now-that would probably work too

 

[Minniemama350]

A gallbladder attack is no joking matter either. You could have anything ranging from chest pains to major diarrhea(sp?) and no indication as to when it might happen! You JUST can't plan ANYTHING!!

 

[C.Ann]

You can have any type of gastro issues - over and over and over - for varying lengths of time.. Stick with the "gastro's" and you're covered..

 

[diz8297]

I vote for strep throat. Antibiotics take 24 hours to kick in. Man. What a shame!!

 

[snarlingcoyote]

I'm loving these suggestions!

Minniemama350 - I was just suggesting to the DH that I need to come up with some sort of chronic condition that will get me out of family situations with grace! Gall bladder, huh?

So Pink-eye, strep and gastro.

I have a repertoire, at least until my gall bladder goes bad!

But really, it will be known in my house as IBS.

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

Whatever you choose, if it's contagious you will strengthen your reason not to attend a function.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I wouldn't go with a gallbladder attack because for that you really need to see a doctor and surgery is usually involved. Your family would start bugging you to get it taken care of.

You want to go with something fairly common but very contagious. A good gastro virus would be a good choice. An upper-respiratory virus would also work (think a very bad cold). No one wants you sneezing in the stuffing.

Just make sure you go with an illness and not an injury. If you say, "I twisted my ankle," they'll say, "Oh come over anyway and put your foot up and we'll take care of you." Or, they're liable to show up at your house and surprise you while you're supposed to be injured. If you're sick and contagious, they'll stay away for sure!!!

 

[MariDisney]

Try this, "Oh my gosh! I have it coming from both ends...ummmm...gotta...click"

 

[DisneyBeagle]

After hosting Thanksgiving this year for 16 ungrateful wretches (Okay, My DB2 and his family were not ungrateful and were a great help. So 12 ungrateful wretches. And if it hadn't been for my DM, who insisted everything be done to HER specifications, and my DSIL1 who brought her hypersonic dogs, everything would've been fine. . .more or less.) I am planning on having viral gastroenteritis for Christmas. (It's the only feasible way to get out of the family gathering and still make my Great Aunt's 100 birthday party without hurting anyone's feelings.)

If I pull this off, is it virally feasible to have it again next Thanksgiving?

OP, it sounds like you need to come on over to my thread and write a letter to your family.
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2339976
It will make you feel better.

 

[momof1princess]

bronchitis is a good one. it's not really contagious but the nasty cough that comes with it makes people think it is, so if you tell someone you have it and fake a few good coughs, you're golden. you might also consider food poisoning-say you had bad Chinese food or ate at a buffet-buffets are notorious for spreading germs-and food poisoning doesn't usually last more than 2-3 days.

 

[paintnolish]

No, do not come up with a chronic illness. You need something contagious!