How Many Friends Do You Have?

[fall08CP]

I am pretty social. I am young and single and though I work a lot, I also go out a lot. Most of my co-workers are my age so we hang out 3-4 nights per week, and then my church friends/roommates/old roommates/old co-workers/friends of friends/neighbors/college friends/sorority sisters hang out the other nights. I probably stay home only one night per week (usually football night, I'm a bit outrageous when it comes to sports) and it works really well for me. I work 50-60 hour weeks but my social life keeps me fresh for work. If I stayed home at night, I'd be miserable at work.

 

[Kitty 34]

I have one BFF and yes we call each other that!!!

I also, have four other really good friends.

 

[SanFranciscan]

I am the OP so I have read all of the responses here. Thank you all.

I think those of you who socialize primarily with your family are playing it smart. That is a good way to avoid what I have heard and seen referred to as "frien-emies." These are the relationships between people who are friendly on the surface but who cut each other up at the first opportunity with the explanation that it is just business when they do it while it is betrayal when done to them. No matter how much rivalry there is between siblings and other relatives, in the end it is much harder to say "I don't care if I never see you again" when you know that you are related to that person.

 

[KimR]

I don't really have any friendships outside of family. I've always been highly introverted and have a terrible time relating to people. I've grown to accept it for what it is, however DH is very outgoing and would love for us to have a more active social life. He plays poker and goes to sporting events with his friends quite often, but we don't socialize as a couple. I feel bad, but there's not much I can do about it.

 

[Wall-E1]

I have 40 on facebook, although some are really not friends. I accepted some friend requests just to prop up my friend count up, as other friends were in the hundreds and left me feeling quite inadequate.

 

[Lucky'sMom]

Have 3 very best friends. One of them is friendly enough to have sex with, the other 2 are 10 and 7 years old and are results of the sex with the other....

I love this one!

 

[DisneyNutMary]

I have a number of friends who I speak with regularly, and co-workers who I consider friends. But I don't socialize regularly with these people.
My DH has friends that he has been friends with since his early childhood- we get together with them socially a few times a year, but do not speak regularly.

As far as regular socializing, my DH and I stick with my sister and her DH. Our kids are the same age, and get along great, they are all practically siblings, that is how close they have grown up.

Outside of those, I had two very close friends, the socializing weekly, and speaking daily kind, but they kind of disappeared after my mother got her leukemia diagnosis, and I was in a situation where I was spending every night at her hospital bed when treatment got intense. It was a rough break, because they accused me of turning my back on them, and maybe I had, but I could not turn my back on my sick mother in favor of having our weekly barbecue, night out, or day trip. It's the sad but true kind of thing that makes you realize that sometimes, family is really all you have when push comes to shove.

 

[KimR]

Outside of those, I had two very close friends, the socializing weekly, and speaking daily kind, but they kind of disappeared after my mother got her leukemia diagnosis, and I was in a situation where I was spending every night at her hospital bed when treatment got intense. It was a rough break, because they accused me of turning my back on them, and maybe I had, but I could not turn my back on my sick mother in favor of having our weekly barbecue, night out, or day trip. It's the sad but true kind of thing that makes you realize that sometimes, family is really all you have when push comes to shove.

Wow, that's terrible. I can't believe that anyone could be that self-centered. I don't think you turned your back on them, but rather the other way around. They should have been supporting YOU when you were dealing with your mother's illness. I'm so sorry and I hope your Mother is doing well.

 

[rie'smom]

My husband is the only person with whom I share everything.

After him, my closest is my DSIL. We're both grew up with no sisters and we have filled this role for each other.

One woman that I met on the DIS and actually met for lunch last Spring is the next closest person.

Next would be 4 women that I love but that I would never tell anything that I would not want repeated.

Everyone else is an acquaintance.

 

[diznee25]

I have 40 on facebook, although some are really not friends. I accepted some friend requests just to prop up my friend count up, as other friends were in the hundreds and left me feeling quite inadequate.

Yes, I am in the same boat too. I have around 40 "friends" on Facebook, but many people I know have hundreds of friends....so I'm a little embarassed to be on Facebook. Especially when I post something and no one comments on it.

In real life I have one best friend, my DH. Both of us were loner type people growing up, so our quite lifestyle suits us just fine. We tried the friend thing. A few years back we friended another couple and hung with them all the time. We're not friends anymore, (their choice), and we're fine with that.

The only time I do any group socializing is when my coworkers go out. We go out to lunch every now and then, and we do a Fantasy Football thing.

With how much I socialize at work, I really enjoy going home to my DH and my dogs to have family time.


diznee25

 

[amyren]

I have 3 what I call "3 a.m. friends". If something horrible (or fantastic) happened at 3 a.m. I could call them and they would be there for me. One of them happens to be my SIL so I guess I only have 2 awesome friends that aren't family.

Other than that I have 3 friends that I see or speak with regularly.

 

[KristaTX]

I am sad for your husband since he really seems to want some friends. The way you said it sounds so sad and kind of lonely. I hope he can find somewhere to meet people. Does he have a hobby, or is he at all interested in finding a church that has small groups of some sort? Maybe you could go out as a couple with some other couples.

Close friends? I have a few - the closest being my husband and then my mother. I probably have 20 people locally that I would be comfortable calling up to go have lunch with. And then there is my sister and her kids in another city. And lots of people I know from growing up, or college, or the DIS that I would get together with if we were in each others' town or at WDW. I keep up with many of them on Facebook regularly.

I guess circumstances have just blessed me with a big circle. Or several circles. That makes me sound like an extrovert, but I'm a true introvert who also loves people. I prefer getting together with people in small groups vs. big parties.

It's fine if people don't want a big circle of friends, like several people on this thread. But if someone is lonely and wants friends but doesn't know how to make them, that makes me sad .

 

[DisneyNutMary]

Wow, that's terrible. I can't believe that anyone could be that self-centered. I don't think you turned your back on them, but rather the other way around. They should have been supporting YOU when you were dealing with your mother's illness. I'm so sorry and I hope your Mother is doing well.

Thank you. My mom is doing ok; still having treatments, but for her age, and the type of leukemia she has, she is actually doing very well.
It takes all involved parties to make a friendship work, so I was definitely part of the problem.... it's just that you learn who's really a long term friend in situations like this. I thought I could put them on hold, and when things settle down, pick up where we all left off. I chalk it up to live and learn.
Life goes on, as long as I have my Disney-loving sister, I'll always have a BFF in my life

 

[Wailea]

My husband and I have no friends. Zero. It can get pretty lonely at times and we suffer from it... On top of that all my relatives are abroad. We have no social life whatsoever. However, I prefer that to all the drama "friends" could bring into our lives.

 

[Suellen]

I don't know why we would exclude family

My mom and my aunt (mom's sister) are the people I trust the most outside of my household.

My husband is my very best friend ever.

My girls though 3 and 5 ARE basically my social life. Especially the 5 year old.

I have a group of mom's that I've been getting together with for a year or so.

I have two very good friends from HS that I can not talk to for 5 years and when I do talk to them it is like I saw them yesterday.

I have one friend from college that is the same way.

Right now I just don't have much time or energy outside of my kids and my husband.....

I don't think it is the quantity but the quality of those friends.

 

[KristaTX]

My husband and I have no friends. Zero. It can get pretty lonely at times and we suffer from it... On top of that all my relatives are abroad. We have no social life whatsoever. However, I prefer that to all the drama "friends" could bring into our lives.

But just think of what you could also be missing. Friends does not automatically equal drama. Don't let fear stop you from inviting people into your life .

 

[Wailea]

But just think of what you could also be missing. Friends does not automatically equal drama. Don't let fear stop you from inviting people into your life .

I don't have any fears, on the contrary! We REALLY want to have friends. I was just trying to see the bright side of not having any. I would love to have someone to talk to other than my husband once in a while.

 

[southern_redhead]

Have 3 very best friends. One of them is friendly enough to have sex with, the other 2 are 10 and 7 years old and are results of the sex with the other....

I have one best friend, one close friend and a few friends. I am an only child and have always been comfortable being a loner.

I'm an only child, too. You may be on to something there. I think it is also just a personal style. I had one best friend from gradeschool to adulthood, then she moved. I had, maybe, 4 other "friends" that I saw on a regular basis but didn't share intimate, personal details with. I now have 1 "close-ish" friend, a best friend (DH, we're fairly intimate ), and I guess 5 or so friends that really boil down to people I know. I like them, we talk, but I wouldn't call them in the middle of the night for anything. Being an only, I learned to rely on myself for entertainment so it doesn't bother me to be alone. Actually, I prefer it.

 

[PixieDustandEeyore]

2 best friends, and 4 close friends

 

[Planogirl]

I don't have any fears, on the contrary! We REALLY want to have friends. I was just trying to see the bright side of not having any. I would love to have someone to talk to other than my husband once in a while.

I sympathize because we have fewer friends in this area than we've ever had. We had plenty in Houston but it doesn't seem like we fit in the town we're in too well. Any friends we have live in other parts of the area for some reason.

It can be lonely at times, I know.