How many are too many? How young is too young?

[LuluLovesDisney]

Just curious as this has been mentioned OT on several threads, esp the "Duggars" one.

How many kids are too many?

How young is too young to get married/have kids?

Looking forward to some opinions.

 

[kaw1218]

Too many kids is:
-when your kids are running around unsupervised because you have no time for them.
-when the state is paying for their healthcare, food, etc(I am not talking about the people that have had the state help them from time to time- my DH lost his job a few years back I have been there.) I am talking about the people that have 4,5,6 kids and keep having more when they CAN'T afford what they have to start with.

And nobody can say what is too young to have kids..... I was 19 when I had my 1st DD, but there is no way my sister is ready even at 23.

 

[KittieKat]

well in the duggars case, i definitely think that they have too many kids. Not because they dont love their kids, but they cannot adequately give each and every one of their kids the time and effort they need. I dont think its fair to the kids to be raised by the older children, or the older children that they have that responsibility.

 

[FroggyinArk]

How many kids are too many?

sometimes 1 is too many.

How young is too young to get married/have kids?

I tryed marriage at 21 did not work out. waited till 27 and have been with dw ever since. i was too young the first time, so was my fw and it was never goingto work. i think the age thing is dependant on the personallity of the people involved.

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

As far as the age thing, I was thinking of the 16 yo in the hs where I teach who was just married, and the 7th grader (age 12) who just gave birth in a local hospital (before her, the youngest "mom" I knew of was 13). I happen to think these are all cases of "too young".

 

[kaw1218]

As far as the age thing, I was thinking of the 16 yo in the hs where I teach who was just married, and the 7th grader (age 12) who just gave birth in a local hospital (before her, the youngest "mom" I knew of was 13). I happen to think these are all cases of "too young".

I agree with that. OMG my DD just turned 10. That girl is only 2 years older!!!
{{{shudder}}}

 

[luvmyfam444]

As far as the age thing, I was thinking of the 16 yo in the hs where I teach who was just married, and the 7th grader (age 12) who just gave birth in a local hospital (before her, the youngest "mom" I knew of was 13). I happen to think these are all cases of "too young".

I sure would like to know this girls family story---how the HECK did she get pregnant at 12? Why was she alone w/a guy? How does this happen?!?!

I KNOW it happens all the time -or so I hear on tv but never actually met anyone or anything like that...

Obviously some sort of single mom thing were child is latchkey or just not watched....

 

[Froggyswife]

sometimes 1 is too many.





I tryed marriage at 21 did not work out. waited till 27 and have been with dw ever since. i was too young the first time, so was my fw and it was never goingto work. i think the age thing is dependant on the personallity of the people involved.

This from a man who has 5 dd's and all 5 are adopted by him.

 

[FroggyinArk]

i said sometimes.. and was still aggravated at ms i'm still on the phone and not in bad at 10,, who had pressed it till after 11 by i have to finish my entry in my journal...

but yes we have 5 dd's and i adopted each and every one. and i love the girls just as much as if they were my own blood.

 

[Planogirl]

Teens are usually too young and double digit numbers of kids are usually too many. That's as specific as I can get because it becomes a case by case basis IMO.

 

[Rella Bella]

As far as the age thing, I was thinking of the 16 yo in the hs where I teach who was just married, and the 7th grader (age 12) who just gave birth in a local hospital (before her, the youngest "mom" I knew of was 13). I happen to think these are all cases of "too young".

YES!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaay too young!!

At 16 you don't even know who you are yet! You're just starting to get to know yourself! Old enough to get married is when you've experienced enough of the world to know how you want to contribute to it and you find someone on a parallel path to share your journey.

Old enough to have kids... is when you have clearly determined your values and you can support yourself (or you and your partner can together) and you're willing to spend most of your disposable income on someone else.

There are exceptions to every rule of course.

 

[Tasha+Scott]

I think it depends on each individual. I was married a few months shy of turning 19. I had my first child at 24 and if all works out I will have my 2nd (and probably last) child either next year when I am 26 or the following year when I am 27. Dh and I will celebrate our 7th wedding anniversary this November. I wouldn't change a thing but we sure did have to do a lot of growing up the first 2 years we were married since we really were very young! So for that reason alone I hope my own children will be older when they marry but I will support them if they choose to marry younger as long as they are happy and are marrying someone whom they love and will treat them well.

Actually I had a friend in highschool who got married at 16. I always thought she was crazy and I know I would never allow my child to marry that young. It's been 10 years and they are still going strong though. They have no kids yet though and that probably does make a difference in their situation.

I don't think there is a set number on how many kids are too many either as long as you can afford to take care of each of them financially and are able to give each one the amount of attention and love and time that they need! For some people 1 is too many. Others may have the time, energy, and resources to care for 12. I think it really does vary from family to family.

Having a baby at 12 would definitely qualify as too young!!! I couldn't imagine being a mother that young! Yikes!

 

[SandraVB79]

Too many kids:
- When the oldest one have to help educating the youngest ones because you don't have time to do that. IMO, every child has the right to BE a child, and shouldn't be bothered with the education of siblings.
- When you aren't able to feed/ dress them properly or give them somehow the opportunity to get an education (i.e. go to school)

Of course, exceptions are possible (like parents getting sick, etc)

But it always bothers me that people who have NO money, no decent housing, etc etc etc keep on having more and more kids...


I have my opinion about too young, but I don't wish to make it public