How long would you wait

[Wendy1985]

I have been babysitting a cat for a year the owner does not check in or pay for it how much longer do I wait to register him for my vet

 

[OneOftheB's]

I would send an email to your friend saying you need to hear back within 3 days or you will consider the cat as abandoned and treat the cat accordingly. Then make the vet appt. Congrats on your newish cat

 

[Wendy1985]

I would send an email to your friend saying you need to hear back within 3 days or you will consider the cat as abandoned and treat the cat accordingly. Then make the vet appt. Congrats on your newish cat

Thanks

 

[prairie_girl]

Yeah, that’s your cat now. Are you still friends with the person? How do you go a whole year and not ask what’s going on?

 

[Wendy1985]

Yeah, that’s your cat now. Are you still friends with the person? How do you go a whole year and not ask what’s going on?

As far as I know we are she has her hands full we tried getting together but she works and dealing with teens a nasty divorce she found a new home but no cats so I have no idea how she plans to handle it

 

[disneychrista]

Did she agree to pay you? How long did she say she needed you to keep her?

I'd say you just got a a new-to-you cat.

 

[BrianL]

It sounds like you want to keep the cat, so I'd say it's yours.

 

[tvguy]

In California, after 14 days an animal is considered abandoned. And all pets in California are considered personal property.

 

[Mrs.AMC]

you've had this cat for a year?
That's your cat

 

[Wendy1985]

Did she agree to pay you? How long did she say she needed you to keep her?

I'd say you just got a a new-to-you cat.

No I don’t charge friends they do so much for me

 

[ronandannette]

Do you like having the cat or not? It's one thing if it's been kind of a burden and you're wondering what to do to gracefully get out from under it. It's entirely another if you've fallen in love and she comes back out of the blue and expects to reclaim it. That could be very sad and upsetting to your household. Unless you're prepared for such a scenario, I'd suggest you make the effort to get in touch and clarify what exactly she is thinking.

 

[Wendy1985]

Do you like having the cat or not? It's one thing if it's been kind of a burden and you're wondering what to do to gracefully get out from under it. It's entirely another if you've fallen in love and she comes back out of the blue and expects to reclaim it. That could be very sad and upsetting to your household. Unless you're prepared for such a scenario, I'd suggest you make the effort to get in touch and clarify what exactly she is thinking.

You just typed out my fear everyone is beyond attached to it already, the last we spoke is when she told me her teenager did not talk to her for three days after I offered to pay her for the cat I even said she can come over anytime and visit

 

[ronandannette]

You just typed out my fear everyone is beyond attached to it already, the last we spoke is when she told me her teenager did not talk to her for three days after I offered to pay her for the cat I even said she can come over anytime and visit

Tough situation. Consider doing this: add a cat of your very own to your household soon, if such a thing can be accommodated. (Full disclosure - I'm not a pet person but I know lots of people who have more than one cat and they get along fine.) Fall in love with it and have the security of knowing it's a furry friend that will remain, come-what-may with the other one.

Now in complete honesty, I'd personally just go head-on with the friend to sort out the exact situation. Either there's a firm timeframe when you're physically dropping the cat off at her new place, or she CLEARLY agrees that it's yours to keep. Not everybody prefers such direct problem resolution though; or is prepared to deal with the potential conflict that could arise, so I wouldn't necessarily recommend that approach for you.

 

[Wendy1985]

Tough situation. Consider doing this: add a cat of your very own to your household soon, if such a thing can be accommodated. (Full disclosure - I'm not a pet person but I know lots of people who have more than one cat and they get along fine.) Fall in love with it and have the security of knowing it's a furry friend that will remain, come-what-may with the other one.

Now in complete honesty, I'd personally just go head-on with the friend to sort out the exact situation. Either there's a firm timeframe when you're physically dropping the cat off at her new place, or she CLEARLY agrees that it's yours to keep. Not everybody prefers such direct problem resolution though; or is prepared to deal with the potential conflict that could arise, so I wouldn't necessarily recommend that approach for you.

I don’t understand why the cat is not clearly mine she lives some place he is not allowed

 

[ronandannette]

I don’t understand why the cat is not clearly mine she lives some place he is not allowed

Your friend may see it differently and still have reclaiming it in mind when her circumstances change. If that happens you will have a problem on your hands. You could always just refuse to surrender it, but that could get weird. Obviously we're just talking hypotheticals here, which I personally avoid by trying to have things agreed as clearly as possible so everybody stays on the same page. The alternative is to just put this out of your mind for now, go on living and loving the cat and cross the bridge when and if you come to it.

 

[Mrs.AMC]

I don’t understand why the cat is not clearly mine she lives some place he is not allowed

Depends on how much the friend wants the cat back, if that happens and if that happens, how much you want to keep the friend.
Because if the friend wants the cat back and you want to keep the cat I do not think you will keep the friend.

 

[Wendy1985]

Your friend may see it differently and still have reclaiming it in mind when her circumstances change. If that happens you will have a problem on your hands. You could always just refuse to surrender it, but that could get weird. Obviously we're just talking hypotheticals here, which I personally avoid by trying to have things agreed as clearly as possible so everybody stays on the same page. The alternative is to just put this out of your mind for now, go on living and loving the cat and cross the bridge when and if you come to it.

You have a point it might just be temporary I have been in that boat although she seems happy where she is living she might be waiting for a home to open up that allows cats

 

[prairie_girl]

You just typed out my fear everyone is beyond attached to it already, the last we spoke is when she told me her teenager did not talk to her for three days after I offered to pay her for the cat I even said she can come over anytime and visit

Whatever you do, do NOT pay her for the cat. You’ve been feeding it for a year, and that’s not cheap.

You have a point it might just be temporary I have been in that boat although she seems happy where she is living she might be waiting for a home to open up that allows cats

To me, a year is not temporary. You’re a good friend, but stop making excuses for her. Be strong and ask her for either an end date, or an agreement that the cat is now yours.

 

[sam_gordon]

Be strong and ask her for either an end date, or an agreement that the cat is now yours.

This. If she's a friend, heck, even if she isn't, a simple "hey, I've been keeping your cat for a year. I know you can't have pets where you live now, do you plan on asking for her back at any point?" It really doesn't matter what random people on the internet say. Work through it with your friend.

 

[Buzz Rules]

What kind of cat is it?