How long was it between your engagement & wedding?

[karibritt01]

I just found out a local restaurant might be able to do it for around $2250 (rental of their function room, staff, and catering) This would be for 75.

I will have 20 people (Though my parents of course want to invite every cousin I haven't seen in 5 years, and their own friends, but too bad). Fiance will have around 50 people (he has a very large close family).

Perfect. If they want more, then let them pay for it.

Bridal party... I will have no MOH or bridesmaids. I will have a man of honor, and my fiance is perfectly cool with this. He suggested it actually. Fiance will have 5 groomsmen. So it will be uneven but we don't care.

Have them stand 3 on each side. You are bucking tradition anyway, so it won't matter if they are not all on the groom's side of the room.

Favors. Candy probably. Maybe small candles or wine stoppers. Something useful. If it can't be used or eaten, we won't get it.

Candles and wine stoopers are pricey, and to be honest are still not that great. Candle will get thrown out most likely, and people that use wine stoppers will buy their own. I would skip it and throw some candy on the table. I have gone to MANY weddings without a favor to take home. Most times I really don't even notice, and occasionally think how glad I am not to have "junk" to carry home.

Photographer. They average 2500. Fiance has 3 friends who are very good amateur photographers. I've seen their work and they're as good as any pro I've ever seen, IMO. I edit digital photos as a hobby and have come up with some pretty cool effects (nothing weird, just touching up lighting, softness etc.) so as much as I'd love a pro, I can't justify the cost.

PERFECT!

Now all you really need to do is find someone who can do your cake for you, and you are good to go! Going with this plan, how long are you now looking at before your wedding?

 

[missypie]

I would never put my life on hold for four years just to be able to finance a short party. The thing is, almost no one cares deeply about your wedding. Not yours in particular - anyone's. A portion of the family cares..maybe a few close friends. But I bet that 75% of every guest list is like, "Oh, I couldn't find a cute dress, let's skip it." "Oh, junior has a baseball game, let's go to that instead of the wedding" "Oh, I have a headache, let's skip the wedding."

Do what will make you and your fiance happy.

 

[Duchie]

Not sure where you live, but around here one great way to get a lot of services for very little price is to go through the local community college.

A friend of mine attended the college in order to get an event coordinator's certificate. She told me that as part of her training, she had to provide services to community members for free. In addition, there were others in different programs (catering, floral designing, etc.) who had to perform similar tasks - their clients had to pay for supplies, but the labor was free. The students are all supervised by instructors so the work is usually very good. In addition, several venues had agreements with the school and provided their facilities at a reduced rate for those using students.

 

[GoldieSaysMeep]

Now all you really need to do is find someone who can do your cake for you, and you are good to go! Going with this plan, how long are you now looking at before your wedding?

Thats a good point about the wine stoppers. Candy is probably the best way to go.

Future MIL happens to be a cake artist...

We still have to wait 2 years for other logistical reasons. He co owns a house with 2 other people and with the market the way it is, he can't sell now or he'd stand to lose a substantial amount of money. They bought the place 3 years ago when the market was booming. His 2 brothers want out of the place too but none of us (me too) want them to lose the money. They've tried to rent it but no luck. He & I couldn't afford to just take over the mortgage there on our own, unfortunately.

Fiance said if its not sold at around breaking even or rented out in two years, the brothers have all agreed to take the hit. None of them want to put life on hold over the house but they're hoping if the market continues to improve, they will be able to break even instead.

So at least 2 years, no question. I don't want us to start out in debt either from the wedding or from his house.

I think if the restaurant I talked to a while ago works out, we can probably do 2 1/2 years. I rent and have to move at the end of this year but I will probably only do 6 month leases from here on until we're married and get our own place.

Not directed at the posted I quoted but at the responses in general. I'm not really sure what our ages have to do with anything. We're not having kids. There is no biological need for me to get married early.

 

[karibritt01]

2 1/2 years sounds much better! I think most people think 4 years is just too long to live your life in a holding pattern, if that makes sense. To wait so long would feel as if you weren't moving forward with your life together. For me, I think about the $$ involved. 2 places to renet, 2 power bills, phone bills, etc. If you are married, you pool resources and cut cost at the same time. And you are out of the stage of "waiting for your life to start."

Have you considered a roommate? Cutting your expenses in half would help you save money faster. Check second hand stores for a wedding gown. My friend found a beautiful ivory full-length dress suit for $90 for her 2nd wedding.

Awesome that your future MIL makes cakes!

And the house... that will work itself out in time as well.

 

[Kimberly815]

We were engaged for 2 years to save up for our wedding (payed for it ourselves). However, we still thought of ourselves as fairly young when we got engaged. I was 24 and he was 25, so we weren't in a rush per se.

 

[Lindsay22]

We were engaged for 14 months. I wish I had only been engaged for 6 months. That extra time made me only change my mind again and again and again. At the end, I just wanted it to be over it already.

 

[jodifla]

Engaged 9 months. Married when I was 26.

Each set of parents put in $1,000 -- we paid for the rest. And we took out a small loan...think it was $4,000 maybe. I don't have the debt phobia that so many people have. Loan was paid off in a couple of years, marriage still going strong at 21 years.

We rented a local, private historical home. Had the wedding in the gazebo out back, pitched a huge white tent (rented from tent company) bought our own liquor, hired a bartender, brought in a caterer and a DJ.

It was a heck of a wedding that many of our friends copied in some fashion, and it was the fraction of the cost of having it at a hotel or other real fancy place.

I'd never wait 4 years for one party.

 

[AshleyW]

Oh gosh.. my fiance and I will have been engaged a long time by the time we get married. We started dating December 2001, when we were both in high school.. got engaged March 2008, and our wedding will be New Year's Eve 2011. So, almost 4 years of being engaged before the wedding. But, to be fair, we knew it would be a long engagement before we even got engaged. We were pretty young (I was 20, he was 22) and wanted to get through school before we were married. I'll graduate about 2 weeks before the wedding.

 

[DizBelle]

4-5 years seems really long to me. But, you're grown ups. Do what you want.

 

[Fintastic]

Engaged in May and married April the following year, so 11 months.

 

[Disney Doll]

We were engaged 14 months. I was 29 & DH was 33 when we married, so neither of us were "kids" in our early 20's, waiting to finish college or whatever the other reasons are that people may have longer engagements.

14 months.....It seemed like a LONG time.

If I had it to do over again with DH, I wouldn't have been engaged so long. We got engaged in July 1990 decided on getting married in October 1991 because we both like the Fall and the colors and so forth. But once we were actually "used to" being engaged, we both really wanted our life together to start. Neither one of us believed in living together, so it seemed like we were in a holding pattern for a long time.

Food for thought....while you're waiting for the perfect time to do everything...sell a house, plan a wedding...a lot of life & time is passing by. If neither your nor his parents are paying anything toward your wedding, then they really have no "say" in how it should be handled. If either set of parents thinks a bigger celebration is in order to "show off" to their friends or extended family, tell them that you would be happy to attend any recepetion they wish to throw in your honor, but that your wedding is going to consist of X, Y & Z...what you and DFiancee want.

 

[scrapquilter]

We were engaged for about 18 months before our wedding, and I think that 12-24 months is pretty much 'average'.

4 years is way long...I saw someone else post that it sounds like you are more interested in having a lavish party than being married, and I do think that waiting four years just to have a better reception does sort of make it look that way.

You CAN have a nice, classy reception without spending tons and tons of money. You might have to work a little harder at it and it might be a bit harder to find a venue, but it CAN be done (and I'm not talking VFW, cooking your own food and having your friends clean up for you).

 

[bigbabyblues]

We were engaged in August and got married in March of the next year.....so 7 months and 10 days.

 

[hulagirl87]

5 months. Engaged in December and married in May. We weren't in a rush but since we wanted to have a Disney wedding we wanted the weather to be nice but not crazy summer hot.