How long is it taking for tax returns - plus a moral question...

[BabyTigger99]

Anyone know how long it is taking to get money back for taxes this time of year? We are e-filing on Saturday when my accountant (read: my mom!) gets back from her businesss trip. She just has to look into a few things about military status regarding DH, and then she is sending it away. Just wondering how long it will take to get my check deposited, so I can get our plane tickets for Disney!!!

 

[Magickndm]

We e-filed and got ours deposited in our account about a week later.

 

[CEDmom]

We e-filed on 2/25 and our fed refund hit our acct on 3/7, state on 3/9.

 

[BabyTigger99]

Good deal!! Okay, but now how about a moral question. We are getting a pretty decent sized refund this year (hopefully around $4000 from Fed and State). DH and I are really trying to clean up our bills, but when he sees that much money, he will want to go spend it. Plus, he hates getting back a big refund, he would rather have the money during the year. So is it bad for me to tell him that we are getting back $1500 (which would cover our plane tickets and some bills), and take the remaining, put $1000 aside for our park tickets, and use the remainder for bills? He just sometimes likes to spend, and forgets about other things. Just looking for opinions. Got my flame suit on, but just don't be mean!

 

[Beth76]

Well since you're already spending a sizeable amount on your Disney trip I certainly hope he's willing to spend the rest on bills. I suppose if he never asks what the refund is you could just pay the bills. But if he asks you should tell him and be honest.

 

[mickeyboat]

I think the best thing to do is to be honest about the amount of the refund. It doesn't matter that you have good intentions, dishonesty about money is a major cause of marital difficulties.

One of the worst fights DH and I ever had was about money. We were hitting a rough patch, and I ran up my credit card, slowly, little by little every month. It got to $4,500 before I told him how bad it was. He was livid - he understood why I had used the card, and didn't feel like I was spending unnecessary money, but was angry that I kept it from him. He is a carpenter, and could have taken some side jobs to make up what we were lacking in our budget. In the end we used our tax refund to pay off the card, but I learned a valuable lesson.

Plus, it would make him feel like you don't trust him with money - making him feel like a child - especially when he knows your mom would know about the refund.

Don't do it.

Denae

 

[Colleen456]

Can you pay the bills before he asks how much the refund is? Then you can be honest and say its 4000 and I already paid this and this so we have x amout to play with.

 

[cardaway]

Since you asked, the idea that anybody would use the refund to do anything but pay off outstanding bills tells us a lot about how those people got into debt in the fist place.

I can't imagine not paying off existing debt when you have the money. If you owed money to a freind or loved one would it not be seen as rude to not pay them first if they asked you to?

 

[floridafam]

I think Colleen 456 has a great idea.

 

[CheshireVal]

Since you asked, the idea that anybody would use the refund to do anything but pay off outstanding bills tells us a lot about how those people got into debt in the fist place.

I can't imagine not paying off existing debt when you have the money. If you owed money to a freind or loved one would it not be seen as rude to not pay them first if they asked you to?

Sheesh, that's a little hard-nosed. Life's too short to play that game.

I have credit card debt (Yes, I admit it! I have credit card debt, and I'm not ashamed of it) and I *still* take vacations and go out to eat and do fun things rather than throw every extra cent onto those bills.

 

[cardaway]

I have credit card debt (Yes, I admit it! I have credit card debt, and I'm not ashamed of it) and I *still* take vacations and go out to eat and do fun things rather than throw every extra cent onto those bills.

If you keep up with your minimum payments, then you're caught up with your bills.

 

[lovetheparks]

If it were me, I would say we are getting back $4000 and x of that is going straight on our bills like we've been talking about and I figured x would go for Disney, then leave him a bit of "here you go, play money"

 

[disneyfanforever]

I just wanted to say if you are e-file your taxes on Saturday, your federal refund should be deposited in your account on April 7 according to my chart at work. Hope that helps.

 

[BabyTigger99]

Thank you for all the responses (especially for the date, DisneyFanForever!). Still undecided about what I am ultimately going to do. I don't think he will get his undies in a bundle about paying off some of the bills, I just think he might want to use it to do some things on the house (and have some "walking around money", as he calls it). And cardaway, we have not been using our credit cards, we use cash or our debit card for everything. We happened to get into debt while I was out of work dealing with my lymphoma, and DH was laid off from his job, so we did what we had to do. Out outstanding CC debt is $10,000 and could have been alot more.

 

[cepmom]

we got both state and federal returns withing 4 days of e-filing...I couldn't beleive it was that fast!

As for your DH and the refund...I wouldn't lie about the amount, but I would just go ahead and pay off those bills before he could get a hold of the money and waste it. Sounds like the debt bothers you more than him ~ I'm like that too ~ can't stand to have debt hanging over my head ~ and I wouldn't be able to feel good about spending the money without at least paying some of it towards the debt

 

[BabyTigger99]

we got both state and federal returns withing 4 days of e-filing...I couldn't beleive it was that fast!

As for your DH and the refund...I wouldn't lie about the amount, but I would just go ahead and pay off those bills before he could get a hold of the money and waste it. Sounds like the debt bothers you more than him ~ I'm like that too ~ can't stand to have debt hanging over my head ~ and I wouldn't be able to feel good about spending the money without at least paying some of it towards the debt

We both don't like the debt, but since I do most of the finances for the family, I am the one who sees it. If it were up to him, we would use the refund for new carpet and to start building our second bathroom on the house. It is not like it would be a waste of the money, we just have different priorities on what to do with it!

 

[Hannathy]

There is no way I could go to Disney or sleep at night if I had 10,000 in CC debt. I'm not flaming you will do what you want but do you realize how much the interest is costing you on that debt. I think the vast majority of it should go to the CC. I understand things happened to cause you to aquire that much but we would have to pay that off before we took a Disney trip. Does he know how much debt you have and still not understand the need to put alot of money towards it. Luckily my DH and I have always been on the same page about debt and saving it really helps. Maybe you need to make him do the finances with you so he can see how much interest costs each month. Good Luck but I remember how good it felt to pay off things like CC debt and student loans and don't want to go there ever again.

 

[Magickndm]

No way I'd ever keep that from my husband, that being said, if he and I differed on debt like it sounds like you two do, I'd sit down with him and tell him how important it is to pay off some of your debts.
As far as not going anywhere or doing anything before it's paid off, that is your call entirely. Some here think you should have no CC debt and that your mortgage should be paid off within 5 years.

 

[hlbtimes2]

We got a pretty good refund and used some to go to DL. I never told dh how much the refund was. He has never directly asked, and I have not lied. I just didn't offer an actual number. I used some to pay some bills, and have a little left for a home improvment project we need to do.

 

[cepmom]

We both don't like the debt, but since I do most of the finances for the family, I am the one who sees it. If it were up to him, we would use the refund for new carpet and to start building our second bathroom on the house. It is not like it would be a waste of the money, we just have different priorities on what to do with it!

it's that way here too...I take care of the finances and he doesn't really see or know what goes on with the money. He wanted to get me a new car for the last couple of years and I kept putting it off because we had some bills to pay, but since he didn't see the bills, he really had no idea how much money was needed to pay them. Once I sat down and showed him where all the money was going too, he understood a little better. Once thebills were paid down, then we went and got the new car. Have you showed him in detail the amount that is owed? Do you think that would help him understand it would be better to pay that off instead of getting a new bathroom or carpet?