How long did you date before getting married?

[NikiM20]

Started dating in May, bought our house in Sept, engaged in Jan, married in Feb...so 10 mths...and we are VERY happy and have a beautiful DD6

 

[budbeerlady]

You guys keep saying it and I have told him " You just know!" (And if you dont know, after 7 years it aint going to happen now.) Dh and I were on our 3rd date (both 18 yrs. old) and he said he wanted to marry me. That was just kinda it, we were dating but working toward our future as we were young and I was in college.

Honestly, I think he doesnt want to marry her but he doesnt want to be alone. Of the 5 of the girls he has dated all but 1 broken up with him. (Including a girl he had been planning on marrying, they had been together a year and a half. He had been ring shopping and she stopped over one night after work and ended it. ) So he has been hurt before and obviously to this point this poor girl hasnt left him.

 

[DisneyGirl4188]

We started dating April 18, 1998 (I was almost 17, he was almost 20). We lived together from almost the day we started dating (long story). We were married on April 18, 2003.

 

[kelleigh1]

I don't think you can place a time limit on marriage. Some people are ready to get married early in a relationship and others are not.

I don't know these people so maybe there is quite a bit that I'm missing. But I'd be asking why she wants to get married. It almost sounds like she wants to get married just for the sake of getting married or because everyone around her is married or getting married. That's never a reason to get married yourself.

If she's really ready to get married because she believes that this is the guy and he just really doesn't want to get married, then it sounds like this relationship isn't meant to be because they are in two totally different places within the relationship.

And if she pushes him into marriage, she'll probably regret it.

It sound to me as though they aren't really communicating. She says she wants to get married and then gets all upset when the subject of marriage comes up. He seems to be shutting her out when the subject comes up. And yet she stays with him.

Maybe the healthiest thing for her to do is to leave him. You know the old saying...if you love something, set it free...

 

[Jennifer S]

6 years We met as sophomores in college and got married when we were 25.

that was us exactly too. When we were 24 I did tell DH either we get married or I'm moving on. I had my ring a week later. We'be been together 18 years.

 

[Dopey Sharon]

We started dating in February of 1976. I was 15, almost 16, and DH had just turned 17.

We got engaged December of 1977. Got married July of 1978.

Next month we will celebrate our 28th anniversary!

(Oh, BTW, our kids are 23 & 25)

 

[vetrik]

I've just been going through a discussion like this with one of my friends. She has been dating her boyfriend for over 6 years, and he won't even discuss the possibility of living together, let alone someday getting engaged or married. He is still living with buddies and reliving the college days years after graduation. She actually just left him last week after a lot of debate and emotional discussions because their future plans and wishes seemed so different.

I had dated my DH for almost 3 years when we got engaged, and it was a little over 4 years by the time we got married. We were still in college when we started dating, so we waited for a couple years after graduation to get married.

I think there are plenty of couples that live together forever without getting married, but they have to be in agreement that that is what they want. In a situation like this couple, where one does really want to be married, it's usually not a good sign for the future. It sounds like they need to sit down together over a nice dinner and seriously discuss where they see themselves heading in the future. I'm not a fan of ultimatums, but they do need to make sure that they are on the same page about what they want out of life. Maybe the boyfriend doesn't realize how important it is to the girlfriend (which, the girlfriend needs to figure out how important marriage is to her - would she be willing to stay with him without getting married?), maybe he thinks there's no need to get married until they want to have kids, and it sounds harsh, but maybe he's still not sure if he wants to settle down with her.

 

[Towncrier]

A little less than 9 months from the first time that Sue and I met until we were married. And 20 years later, we're still together.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

We dated for 5 1/2 years. We met in November of our senior year in HS (different schools). We went through a long-distance thing for almost a year when his folks moved to NJ and I was in college. They moved back to Ohio and he moved back here to live with friends and be closer to me. We waited until after college and he had a year in the Army before we got married. It will be 20 years WEDNESDAY!
It's funny sometimes because I'll hear one of my HS students say "how can you be with the same guy for 25 years??" They are clueless.
Robin M.

 

[Lynn CC]

We dated for 4 years through High School and were married when I was in my first year of College.
We will celebrate our 25th anniversary next year in Disney!

 

[Disney Ella]

We dated for four years and got married after I was out of college for 1 1/2 years. If your friend is in his mid-thirties and has been dating someone for six years and doesn't want to get married, chances are he will never want to get married - at least not to her. If marriage is important to her, and there's no real hope he'll move in that direction, I'd start looking for someone else.

 

[Pdowning98]

My DH and I met in Dec. 1996, 1 child later, much shared debt and other people's weddings we married in May 2003. So, it can happen years down the road.

Good luck to your friend!

 

[Shugardrawers]

11 months from "How do you do?" to "I do". We knew we'd be getting married soon within a couple of weeks of first meeting. We were formally engaged and the date set in less than 6 months. We've been very happy for the past almost 5 years.

 

[robinb]

We dated for a year and then lived together for over 6 more years before we were married. We have been married for 13 years now. I laid down the law with my DH. I told him to choose marriage or breaking up since I wanted to be in a committed relationship. Our parents were shocked when we finally got married. Of course, not as shocked as when we finally had a child 7 years after that! That had well and truly given up on us having a family .

 

[MrsNick]

Married not quite 6 years after we started dating. We were engaged 4&1/2 years after we started dating.

I think everyone has a different timeline, but after 4 years I nudged DH along and made sure that he understood that not getting married would be a deal breaker for me. He came around.

We recently celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary and are looking forward to starting a family soon.

I think the key is to be honest with yourself about what you need in a relationship, and then be clear and honest about that with your partner. If he or she can't (or won't) give you what you need, then either you have to re-evaluate your needs or re-evaluate the relationship. That's certainly easier said than done, but if it's time to move on and you don't, then you aren't giving yourself a fair chance to meet that special person who would walk across God's green earth to be with you. JMHO

 

[kathy387]

Got engaged after less than a year and married within the second year. We'll be celebrating 19 years this Sept!

 

[momrek06]

Met in a Bar in Harvard Square, Sept 1979...asked me to marry him Dec 79 ..(knew my Irish Catholic parents would have a fit)...waited and got my ring in March 1980...married Oct 1980 !!! (Basically ONE YEAR) AND it was DH, who had been to WDW with college buddies who said...WDW for our Honeymoon . All there was, was MK but I feel madly in love with it!!!!

DH & I just celebrated 25 years together on the DISNEY WONDER

 

[lbgraves]

DH & I met on 5/1/94, got engaged 2/1/97 & got married in October.

 

[lissawynn]

DH and I met in November, got engaged in Feb, and got married in June of the same year. It's our 4th anniversary on Thursday.

 

[Rikku]

Let's see...

...I met my now DW in September of '98...we did not begin dating at the day after Thanksgiving that same year...three weeks later we realized we were madly in loved and I asked her to marry me...then I had one more six month tour contract to run out...I returned in May of '99 and we were married on Memorial day that same month!

Seven years...three beautiful daughters and many trials and tribulations later and we're stonger than we ever were!